


Make an Icon out of me

by lumassen



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Best Friends, Body Image, Body Positivity, Falling In Love, Family Issues, Friendship, LGBTQ Themes, Multi, Trans Character, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 112,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24340756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumassen/pseuds/lumassen
Summary: Tino is fresh out of college and suddenly gets a chance at his dream job; to work for a publishing company. However, with his new bosses constantly scheming, it's proving to be more work than he bargained for. Tino's housemates and best friends, Lukas and Emil, have his back but even their own lives aren't perfect. Lukas's bookshop business is failing and Emil has no idea what to do once he graduates from school. When Tino's new work acquaintance Berwald comes into the picture his world is turned upside down, and Lukas begins to question his sexuality upon a chance meeting with a waiter named Matthias.
Relationships: Denmark/Norway (Hetalia), Finland & Norway (Hetalia), Finland/Sweden (Hetalia), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 179
Kudos: 111





	1. Chapter 1 - There is always a reason

**Author's Note:**

> The art featured in this story is by the amazingly talented @artinoctober - you can find them on tumblr!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The incredible cover art is by the wonderful @pixeltalia - thank you so much ;w;

****

**Chapter one – There’s always a reason**

Tino seated himself quietly while waiting for his name to be called for his interview. Most, if not all, companies or offices had waiting rooms in which to wait, but the exception being Bonnefoy Publications. He had seen internships advertised as part of a recent expansion at the company for various roles, and being fresh out of college Tino didn’t really care which one he landed if he was successful. Bonnefoy was the publishing company of several magazines and newspapers covering a variety of topics.

He was sat on a large gold bench at the foot of a grand marble staircase leading to the front doors of the Bonnefoy offices. The polished floors gleamed under the light of the large chandelier that adorned the high ceiling, causing the gold lettering reading ‘Bonnefoy’ to stand out. Just looking at those letters on the floor sent Tino's stomach in knots. He had studied English language and journalism at college and it was his dream to work for a publication company and perhaps one day become an editor himself.

He flashed a smile at the female seated next to him on the bench, and she caught sight of the dental braces on his teeth and gave him a funny look. Just as Tino was about to introduce himself his name was called and his head whipped around to see a man in a suit holding a clip board now stood a few steps up from the bottom. “Tino Väinämöinen?” he called again.

“Oh, that's me! Hello sir, I’m Tino. Can I just say I’m pleased to be here today?” Tino babbled a little excitedly as he approached the man who had read out his name, who simply gave him a baffled look, eyeing his ensemble. A fuchsia pink patterned sweater vest clung to Tino over a lilac shirt. A navy blue blazer clashed with a tie to match. Tight fitting white trousers hugged his somewhat chubby legs, and finally, shiny black polished shoes completed his… high fashion outfit.

The male before him took in his appearance for a second, looking Tino up and down, his eyes scanning the mish-mash of colours before he sighed.

“I’m sorry Mr Väinämöinen, but on this on this occasion you haven’t been selected to proceed any further for the internship programme.” He paused to flip through the pages of the clip board, “You don’t have any valuable work experience and you don’t fit the brief. I’m terribly sorry. Good day to you.” No quicker than he had arrived, he turned on his heel and began to stride back up the staircase.

“What? But wait! I could at least tell you a little bit about myself!” Tino shouted after him. After receiving no acknowledgement, he began to follow the man up the stairs. Tino grabbed hold of his arm in an attempt to get him to listen, but this just frustrated him even more.

“Look, I’m sorry, but we have a strict criteria that we have to meet when selecting our interns, and I’m afraid that you just don’t make the cut.” the man snapped as he opened the door.

“But I just thought… I mean, I did a lot of research! I know a lot about this company and I-“

The large doors at the top of the staircase slammed shut in Tinos’ face, the force of it blowing his hair from his face and leaving him stood in shock. Disheartened and very confused, he stepped quickly back down the stairs with all the dignity he could muster. The woman on the bench simply smiled smugly behind his back as he passed. But she wasn’t the only one watching him leave. Unbeknownst to Tino, someone else had been watching him for a while since he’d arrived.

\-------------

“And he sent me away! Just like that!” Tino sighed as he flopped down in a chair at the kitchen table, snatching a gingerbread cookie from the plate that sat in the centre.

  
The small apartment in which he lived in was very colourful and quite messy, with red walls here and green walls there with all kinds of paintings and pictures hammered into them, patterned furniture and books scattered everywhere. But it was also very small. It consisted of two bedrooms, a single bathroom and joint kitchen area and living room. He shared with his best friend, Lukas and his younger brother, Emil.

Although they were brothers, Lukas also ended up somewhat a father figure to Emil, and had taken care of him since he was very young. They had escaped a rather abusive home shortly after their mother died and left their drunken father behind. Tino had offered to help care for Emil as Lukas had become extremely stressed and even dropped out of college to be there for him. Lukas and Tino met in college and the two were roommates on the same English Lit course. When Lukas dropped out Tino moved in with him and the rest was history.

Lukas was handsome, tall and slender, and ran and owned a bookstore just underneath their apartment, Thomassen's Books. He was quite an odd character, and a little misunderstood as some days he was quite literally away with the faeries, but he and Tino had been best friends for years.

Lukas glanced over his reading glasses at Tino from across the table where he sat reading a book. His face usually remained expressionless, or that’s what it may seem like to people who didn’t know him as well as Tino did. He came across as a man of not too many words to most people, but he simply chose to just keep out of other people business and focus on his own friends and family. Lukas picked up his coffee mug and took a sip before asking Tino about his unsuccessful interview.

“But you got a letter did you not? Stating that there was a job offer and today’s interview would determine whether or not you got the job?”

“Yes exactly!” Tino threw his hands up in exasperation.

“So how come they turned you away without even giving you a chance at an interview?”

“I don’t know… he just took one look at me and turned his nose up. I could see the way he looked at me. Maybe I was too pushy? I did ramble a lot when I first greeted him; I really need to stop doing that.” Running his hands through his hair Tino exhaled a long sigh and stared at Lukas.

He simply raised an eyebrow in return. “… What are you staring at?”

“You. You’re so thin and gorgeous. I bet they’d have snapped you up in a heartbeat! Without an interview too!”

Lukas’ cheeks caught a pink tinge at the complement, but he simply brushed it off and returned to his book. “Shut up. You’re not bad yourself. I definitely know of someone who thinks that you’re perfect, and he should be here any minute to lend Emil that video game and have dinner with us.”

Tino perked up a little. “What do you mean? If you’re talking about Marcus-”

“Tell him Emmie.” Lukas raised his voice a little so Emil could hear him from the living room.

Emil came wandering away from the television and he too sat down at the table. Emil had become very close to Tino, and had developed a habit of calling him Auntie Tino, something that used to be an inside joke between Lukas and Tino before it stuck somewhat like a nickname.

“We overheard Marcus on the phone yesterday talking to someone. “He’s the one.” is what he said to the person on the other end. He totally wants to marry you.”

“…What? You think so? I mean… that could mean anything! We haven't even been dating that long!” Tino said a little breathlessly.

Emil caught Tino's eye and wiggled his eyebrows at him.

“Do I look okay?” Tino walked over to the mirror and began to fix his hair. Lukas chuckled a little to himself.

“You look just fine.”

He spent a few moments fussing with his hair in the mirror and checking for any food that might have gotten stuck in his braces. His palms were a little sweaty at the thought of if what Lukas and Emil had said was true. Sure, Tino liked Marcus and they got on well, but they hadn’t even been dating for more than a year. Would he even accept?

The doorbell rang and startled Tino a little before he ran to get it. He peered through the netting that covered the glass window on the front of their little green door and saw the distinct outline of his boyfriend. He swung the door open and greeted Marcus with a bright smile on his face.

Tino was fashionable is his own unique way but was quite the opposite from his boyfriend who stood on his doorstep; with one hand in the pocket of his jean jacket, the other swung loosely by his side clutching a video game.

“Hey Tino.” came the reply as Marcus stepped through the door, wiping his feet on the mat before entering fully. Lukas had a strict rule that one must wipe his or her feet thoroughly before treading through his house, and anyone who failed to do so was automatically on Lukas’ bad list. And ending up on the bad list was something best avoided at all costs.

Tino paused for a moment to catch his breath that was hitched in his throat before closing the door and followed Marcus over to the table where he was greeting Emil and handing the video game over. He stood behind Marcus just catching the last part of their conversation.

“So can I really keep it? You don’t mind?”

“Yeah sure, I beat it a long time ago, so it’s not much use to me now.” Marcus said with a grin and a shrug of the shoulders.

“Thanks.” Emil flashed a grin in return before heading to his room to play the new game.

“Hey Tino, can I speak to you for a second in private?” Marcus turned to Tino.

“Er, yeah sure. That’s fine.” Tino said nervously, unsure how he would respond if Marcus did actually get down on one knee.

Lukas took this as his que to leave and began to get up from the table only to be interrupted by Marcus, “It’s okay Lukas, we’ll take this outside.”

Tino followed Marcus outside, glancing over his shoulder at Lukas and receiving a rare grin and a thumbs up from him.

Once outside he gently closed the door behind himself and looked up at Marcus. There was something about the way he was acting today that didn’t seem quite right to Tino. Marcus was usually bubbly and lively and it was normally a ritual of his to greet Tino with a kiss and a squeeze of his ass.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Tino asked, trying to sounds as casual as he could muster, leaning on the balcony railing.

There was a long pause after Tino had spoken. The tension was thick in the air, and just as Tino had guessed, something was wrong, but he wasn’t expecting what was coming.  
“Tino, I… I’m in love with somebody else.” Marcus said lowly, not looking Tino in the eye.

Another pause while Tino let what he had just heard sink in. He felt like someone had stuck a pin in his heart and deflated it. How could he have been so stupid and thought that someone would want to marry him? When Tino opened his mouth to speak again his throat was dry and his voice came out at nearly a whisper.

“How? I mean… I thought we... well who is it?”

Behind them, Lukas had come to the door and was leaning against the door frame, a mug of coffee curled between his fingers. He was watching them with no idea what was being said, or no idea what emotion was being displayed as he could only see the backs of their heads as they leaned out over the railing.

“Ivan. Look, Tino I’m sorry. I just-”

“No… You don’t have to say anything else.”

Tino felt his heart breaking completely in two. On top of what happened this morning, this was all just too much for him. He couldn’t even cry.  
Marcus sighed before shoving his hands into his jeans pockets.

“Good luck, Tino. With everything.”

He leant over to kiss Tinos’ cheek, but Tino kept his gaze to the ground and moved his head away slightly to keep Marcus from reaching him. Nothing more was said, and Tino didn't look up until he heard Marcus reach the bottom of the stairs.

\---------

“Are you feeling any better?” Emil flopped down on the couch next to Tino, who was curled up stuffing his face with a packet of biscuits. It had been an hour or so since Marcus had left, and Tino had spent the majority of the hour crying in the bathroom until Lukas had knocked on the door and brought him a cup of tea.

“Yeah.” He mumbled with his mouth full, “’m, fine.”

Emil patted his shoulder and stood up again with a huff of annoyance to answer the house phone which began to ring. They were probably one of the only households on the street that still had and used a landline phone, but Lukas liked to have it 'just in case'.

“Hello?” he said whilst winding the cord casually around his finger. After a few moments he turned around to Tino and held his hand over the receiver, “It’s some guy from Bonnefoy Publications.” He said with a slight roll of his eyes and a confused look on his face.

“What? Bonnefoy?” Tino gasped almost choking on his mouthful of biscuit. He quickly swallowed before taking the phone from Emil.

“Yes this is Tino Väinämöinen speaking.”

Emil leaned against the wall, still looking rather confused as Tino spoke, getting more and more excited by every second that passed.

“Are you serious? Um, yeah! Yeah I, uh- of course I can start tomorrow! A problem with one of the assistants- okay, okay. What magazine is this for? ICON?”

He shot a look at Emil as he said in a moment of panic, and Emil’s eyes widened. Icon was a fashion magazine, and Tino had never even dreamt of being offered an internship there. “Okay, yeah that’s fine. I’ll be there first thing in the morning. Okay, thank you, Goodbye!”

Tino breathed out as he hung up and slammed his hands down on the side table.

“Assistant to the Editor in chief! There was a problem with the assistant they hired so I just… I can’t believe this!”

“You didn’t tell me you wanted to work for Icon though. A fashion magazine? Are you sure?” Emil said a little sceptically.

“Well, this wasn’t my first choice… But if I do well here I can go anywhere in the company! This is my gateway!” Tino said, his mind working overtime. He was finding it hard to believe that this wasn’t a trick, and that he actually would be the assistant to the Editor in Chief of the country’s best selling fashion magazine, and all without an interview. It was surreal and almost too good to be true.

“I will give you one piece of advice, and that’s to try and dress fashionably? And I mean from their point of view, not yours.” Emil said, and gave Tino an affectionate squeeze on the arm.

Tino simply stared at Emil, slightly insulted, but with the mood he was now in, that didn’t last for over a few seconds before of the biggest grins he was capable of spread across his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I first wrote and posted this on FFN.net back in 2012 then took an unexpected hiatus from the fandom from 2015, but something has compelled me to come back in this chaotic year of 2020, so here I am re-writing and continuing this fic! The writing will improve after chapter 6 I promise cause up until then that's 16 year old luma's writing lol
> 
> I hope you enjoy! - lumassen x


	2. Chapter 2 - Two halves don't always make a whole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The art featured in this story is by the amazingly talented @artinoctober with permission to use - you can find them on tumblr! <3

**Chapter 2 – Two halves don’t always make a whole**

Tino took in a deep breath through his nose before straightening up, clutching the strap across his chest from his brown leather satchel; the trusty, slightly worn one that he used every day without fail, and making his way towards the elevator leading to the 35th floor. Once in the elevator he quickly peered at himself in the mirror, fussing over his appearance. He wore a beret with a black and white check shirt with the sleeves rolled up half way, a satin waistcoat and black trousers.

Perhaps it was a little too much for the eye to take in at once, but it suited Tino in an odd way. He wasn't unfashionable per say, but he always found a way to mix one style with another to create his own, sort of crazy signature style. He was very short in height so sometimes he didn’t even pass for his age of 25 - and still having braces didn’t help either, so he was usually taken for someone much younger and wasn’t always taken seriously.

With this in mind he began to run through in his mind what he would say to his new boss. It had been a couple days since his phone call offering him this position, and he'd spent nearly ever waking hour pep talking himself in the mirror and annoying Lukas by fretting. Should he go straight in for a hand shake, or introduce himself first and wait for his boss to offer his hand? He wanted to give a good first impression unlike the day before and the fiasco at his interview. Before he got chance to make a decision the doors of the elevator glided open and Tino swallowed nervously and stepped out. The front desk was directly infront of where he stood, so he approached it. Strangely, no-one seemed to be behind the desk. Tino stood on his tip toes and craned his neck in order to peer around the office.

“Um, Hello?”

Just seconds later a woman stood up quickly, almost as if she popped up out of thin air, and startled Tino. She breathed out sharply causing her fringe to blow upwards. Her long, curly dark hair was held back with a red ribbon and her large brown eyes blinked a few times before she regained her composure and sat down in her chair.

“I’m sorry about that,” She paused to smooth out her hair a little before continuing, “Welcome to ICON. How may I help you?” a small smile sprung up onto her lips as she looked Tino in the eye.

“Um, I’m here to start my new job. I’m Tino Väinämöinen, assistant to the Editor in Chief?”

“Ah! Yes, they said you’d be starting today. Come with me and I’ll show you to your office.” She came out from behind the desk and walked around the circular pod which seemed to be the main reception area, as all else Tino could see were various glass offices and studios. Pictures of models and mannequins with designs on littered the walls and hallways, and on one particular large wall just to the left of the elevator was the front cover of every issue of ICON from the very first, right up until the current one, all surrounded by a black frame hung in rows of eight.

“Follow me. Francis should be in the conference room right now, so I’ll take you there. I’m Michelle by the way.” She said with a smile.

Tino followed just a few steps behind her, observing everything that they passed, trying to remember the way. The clicking of the small heels on Michelle’s shoes and the somewhat heavy thumping of Tinos’ steps echoed as they walked down a tunnel-like corridor.

“So where did you come from?” she asked as they turned a corner.

Tinos’ concentration on trying to lighten his steps disappeared when he replied.

“Oh, well I originally come from Finland but I moved here because-”

“No, I mean what job did you have before this one?”

They stopped before a set of glass double doors. Inside Tino could see several people seated around a circular table and at the head of it, a man with blonde hair tied back in a ponytail stood. He was dressed in a deep red suit and stood with magnificent posture. That had to be Francis.

Tearing his eyes away, Tino replied to Michelle’s question, now feeling slightly embarrassed and nervous.

“Oh well, apart from helping out in my friends’ bookstore and a few internships at college… this is my first real job.” He said with a small smile.

The kind and caring look which Michelle had when leading Tino to where he was supposed to be suddenly vanished upon hearing this.

“That’s funny. When I applied for your position they said I wasn’t experienced enough.” And with that, she turned on her heels and stalked away back the way they had come. A wave of mixed emotions suddenly washed over Tino, guilt being one of them after seeing the look on Michelle’s face, before he decided he should greet his new boss before worrying about anything else and getting him flustered. Nothing was going to ruin his chances of a good first impression.

He took another deep breath through his nose and strode forward, though only to run straight into a glass wall.

\----

“Emil!” Lukas called to his brother from the kitchen where he’d just finished preparing breakfast. It was a routine of his to wake each morning to prepare a spread, even during the weekend. Emil on the other hand chose to not wake up at all, relying on his brother to get him up for school. He was currently in his last year of school at 17 years old and couldn’t wait to leave that wretched place.

“Emil! Are you up yet?” Lukas shouted for the second time upon having no response the first time. Lukas had finished preparing breakfast over ten minutes ago. He sat himself down at the table, took a slice or toast from the rack and began to cover it in Jam. Monday's were Lukas's day off and his routine was more often than not to drive Emil to school, drop some books off at the library, then go food shopping. The rest of the day could then be spent how he pleased until it was time to pick Emil up, prepare dinner and then possibly help Emil with homework if Tino wasn’t already doing so. Lukas was a creature of habit, but even if he wasn't he didn't really have any other friends besides Tino to hang out with anyway, and so his days off mostly consisted of this same routine.

Glancing at the clock on the kitchen wall which read 08:24, and Lukas was now frustrated. Emil’s breakfast would probably be cold by now and they should be leaving for school in less than fifteen minutes. Lukas drove Emil to and from school every day and liked to be on some sort of schedule. Rolling his eyes, he stood up from the table and walked swiftly down the corridor. Throwing the door open, he entered into Emil’s bedroom. Emil was completely hidden in a tangle of blankets, sheets and pillows.

Shaking his head, Lukas approached his brothers bed.

“Lukas what’re you doing?! It’s cold!” Emil whined still half asleep whilst retracting into a small ball in the middle of the bed, much like a scared hedgehog, when Lukas stripped the bed of all blankets suddenly exposing Emil’s skin to the chilliness of their apartment first thing in the morning.

“If you actually wore night-clothes to bed, you might not be as cold. Now get up before I send you to school in your underpants.” Lukas stated simply before dropping the blankets in the floor and leaving the room, just as quickly as he’d come in.

Emil blinked in the harsh morning light streaming in from his window and glared after Lukas as he stalked out, propping himself up on his elbows. “They’re boxers! I don’t wear _‘underpants’!”_

\-----

Tino found several pairs of eyes suddenly staring at him as he stood with his hand over his nose. It throbbed badly from where he’d collided with the glass, and he could only hope that it wouldn’t bruise or start to bleed. ‘So much for a good first impression.’ he scolded himself as he gently pushed open the door he’d run into and sidled along the inside of the wall. He came to a stop next to a group of people who were stood at the back of the conference room. Francis quickly caught Tinos’ eye before clearing his throat and continuing to speak before he was interrupted by his new assistants… graceful entrance.

“So. As I was saying. I’d like to thank you all for joining me on such late notice this morning, but I thought that we’d run through this month’s agenda for the photo spread featuring Natalia Arlovskaya. We all know she’s a hard model to work with but we should feel honoured that she’s offered to appear in this spread.”

The majority of people in the room began to take notes as Francis spoke, including Tino. He’d never heard of Natalia before, so it’d be a good idea to perhaps research her later in order to impress Francis with his knowledge. Francis continued to speak and Tino took more notes when suddenly they were yet again interrupted.

“Oh, so you started without me. How very kind of you, Francis.”

Tino looked up from his notepad to see a man stood in the doorway. His face was utterly striking, yet somewhat unusual looking. Piercing green eyes scanned the room quickly whilst thick and insanely large eyebrows furrowed above them. Untamed locks of blonde hair framed his face. A beige tweed suit adorned him and he adjusted his tie slightly as he stepped into the room. He was very aristocratic and seemed to look down his nose at the entirety of the room, including Francis. Tino was a very observant person and took all of this in in a matter of seconds.

“Well you were late. Sometimes you’ll have to skip your morning cup of tea if you wish to be on time for meetings, Arthur.” Francis chortled a little and shrugged his shoulders, dismissing the latest addition to the room whilst turning back to face the rest of the company. He was about to continue speaking when Arthur cut across him, now standing at the opposite end of the table.

“So now that I’m here we can discuss the shoot with Natalia Arlovskaya. Elizabeta, I need you to be in charge of the photography. Please make sure that all of the photos we are using go into the correct folder to be printed into the spread, and the photos that are being discarded get, well… discarded. Your style of photography will be perfect for this shoot, no?"

“Yes, Mr Kirkland! Do you want me to go and find Vash and Berwald so we can get set up for her arrival tomorrow?” Tino could only guess that the pretty woman who answered to Arthur was Elizabeta. She seemed happy to oblige to Arthur’s instructions and left the conference room quickly and quietly, clipboard in hand.

“I assume that everyone else knows their positions? Could I please ask that if you have no part in the spread and are seated in here, please return to your work. The meeting is over for you-”

“Arthur, I understand that you own half of this company, but let me stress the word HALF to you.” Francis interrupted Arthur in his tracks, making it clear to raise his voice slightly upon the word ‘half’.

Everyone who had began to stand up upon being dismissed hovered awkwardly, some even gingerly sitting back down again.

“Yes but Francis dear, I understand you own ‘half’ of the company,” Arthur mimicked Francis by too exaggerating his word, “only one of us out of the pair seems to know how to run a successful magazine. And that’s me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the first few chapters of this fic honestly give me second hand embarrassment :') but I hope you liked them anyway!
> 
> Thanks for reading and I'll see you all next chapter!
> 
> -lumassen x


	3. Chapter 3 - New Faces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The art featured in this story is by the amazingly talented @artinoctober with permission to use - you can find them on tumblr! <3

**Chapter 3 - New Faces**

The place was like a maze. Offices, studios and more offices as far as the eye could see. Tino had tried his best to remember the way he had come earlier with Michelle, but he just couldn’t and so he was stood in the middle of the corridor looking around for someone to ask for help, having no luck at all. After the meeting everyone had left in a hurry to get back to their work leaving Tino a little bewildered as he wandered down the corridor, pinching the bridge of his nose every so often, hoping that it wouldn't bruise.

Suddenly he heard noises coming from further down the corridor to the left of him. Perhaps someone was down there who knew the place better than he did. What harm could be done in asking for help? It was his first day after all, so they couldn’t expect him to know everything already, right? Clutching his binder closer to his chest he set off down the corridor. Said binder was given to him by Francis as the end of the meeting that morning and was to be used for organising Francis’ schedule and other important documents that Francis would need. He was instructed to keep it safe and within reach at all times, and his job would pretty much revolve around it and its contents.

The sounds got louder as he continued to walk down the corridor and finally Tino stopped outside of a room emitting sounds that sounded very much like… drilling? He knocked on the door but when it didn’t open he cracked it open and stuck his head in.

“Hello? Excuse me but I… erm, I wondered if you could help me?” he called into the room. The drilling stopped but no-one answered him. Exhaling sharply Tino entered the room fully, closing the door behind him. Once inside he noticed that the room looked rather like a workshop, with large boards and piles of wood leaning against the wall in a neat pile. Over in another corner was a clutter of what looked like props from old fashion shoots. One in particular caught Tino’s eye and he ran over to get a closer look.

“Oh wow, the 2016 Fashion Week backdrop. No way…” he breathed out in awe to himself and ran his fingers across intricate carvings in a thick piece of oak. It was created to resemble and old fashioned puppet theatre, and when used in the show, lights were shone through the back of it; giving the illusion that the models on the catwalk were puppets in the theatre. Tino wasn’t really a fan of catwalk shows in general, he wasn’t into that kind of fashion, but he loved this one in particular because of the concept. He had grown up around wooden toys and games, and the show had a magical, childish feel to it. What a waste for such an amazing piece of work to be stood collecting dust after only being used once, he thought.

Tino set down his binder and shifted several smaller boards and props out of the way, struggling a little with the heavier ones, so that he could get a closer look and the particular one that had caught his attention.

“What’re ya doin’?”

Tino spun around quickly, several props clattering to the floor as he knocked them over when he jumped at the voice. He was about to pick them up, but his gaze met a pair of piercing blue eyes hidden behind wire frames, and all he could bring himself to do was stand amongst the pile of fallen objects like a deer caught in headlights.

“I…I was j-just admiring this.” Tino stammered, patting the oak behind him.

The blue eyes searched Tino’s for a few seconds before they broke his gaze and looked at the object behind him.

“Ya like it? It’s the old puppet theatre from-”

“2016. I know.” Tino interrupted with a shy smile. The scary man’s face softened ever so slightly.

“How did ya know? No one ever remembers the sets.” the man said, sounding pleasantly surprised.

“I just- I loved it so much. I’m not really a fan of fashion shows... but I saw the feature in a magazine. It’s really beautifully made, don’t you think so?”

A small grunt came as a reply followed by silence. Looking past the hard stare, Tino noticed the eyes that bored into his weren’t all that cold, rather just inquisitive, and long, blonde eyelashes curled above them. The man wore his hair cropped short and sideburns framed the side of his face. He wore dark blue overalls over a crisp white shirt, his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hands dangled a little awkwardly by his side and were large and calloused, covered in cuts, scratches and plasters. Then, upon observing those hands, it finally clicked and Tino’s eyes widened.

“Wait… did you make this?” Tino asked him, motioning to the wooden masterpiece behind him. “Did you make all of these?”

“Yeah.” He muttered.

“Wow. I mean, that’s just incredible! You have talent, Mr… uhm..” Tino trailed off upon remembering that he didn’t know this man’s name.

“Oxenstierna. But you can call me Berwald.”

“Berwald, I got it. I’m Tino. Tino Väinämöinen, assistant to the editor in chief!” Tino announced, but then cringed inwardly in spite of himself. It did feel good though, introducing himself as something that sounded so important.

“And your lost, aren’t ya.” Berwald deadpanned, causing Tino to remember exactly why he was here though he felt a fool admitting it.

“People don’t come in here unless they’re lost. Come. I’ll show ya.”

Tino felt relief wash over him as he nodded and Berwald turned away. He glanced at the mess he’d created when he'd bumped into the pile of old set pieces and knocked some of them over, but Berwald was already out of the door before he could even think about stopping to pick them up.

“Hey, Berwald! Wait up a sec!” Tino called after him, making sure to close the workshop door after him like he’d found and hurried down the corridor to catch up to his guide.

Tino walked close beside Berwald and smiled up at him, hoping that he was coming across as friendly instead of creepy. People seemed to part as Berwald walked past, he noticed, their heads down but their gaze firmly on him as he passed. He kept his gaze forward, not once looking in any other direction, not even down at Tino, who’s head only just reached his shoulders. After walking in an awkward silence for a few minutes, Berwald came to a halt beside a small glass desk with one of those fun spinny chairs situated in a room just outside the main offices along with a few other desks. The walls of this room were also made from glass, like most of the offices, and Tino could see everything that was happening on the entire floor almost. On the desk sat a slim, expensive looking computer, a phone, a printer and a little vase with a single white lily in it. Best of all, it was right next to a large window with light flooding in.

“Oh, Berwald. Thank you so much! I owe you. I don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t found you. Still walking around like a lost puppy I guess! You really seem to know the place; you even knew where the assistant’s desk was!” Tino grinned up at Berwald who actually looked down at him now and gave him a curt nod. Before he could turn to leave, Tino acted quickly and stuck his hand out towards Berwald. Berwald took the delicate hand in his and shook it firmly.

“Yer welcome. Good luck with the new job.”

\-----------

Francis pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled heavily. He and Arthur had been called to Ludwig’s office shortly after that morning’s disastrous meeting, leaving his new assistant stood helpless in the hallway, but nothing could be done about that, the little guy would have to be tough to handle working in this business.

“Let me get this straight. You hired that… that child as my assistant so that I wouldn’t be tempted to flirt?”

“Francis if it was just flirting and nothing else then I’d have no problem with you having a female assistant. But the fact that you were caught by another member of staff engaging in _private activities_ with your last assistant was unacceptable and now you must face the consequences!” Ludwig had risen from his seat behind his desk and was now stood with his palms flat against the table. Francis, who was smugly back-chatting only moments ago, had now backed up a few steps and blinked in surprise at how quickly Ludwig’s temper had escalated.

“Not that I don’t admire your efforts, Ludwig, but I just can’t imagine Francis acting any different around his assistant be it male or female.” Arthur piped up from where he was standing next to Ludwig’s desk. Outraged by his comment, Francis turned to face Arthur and looked just about ready to murder him.

“Arthur, I put Francis is charge of this company for a reason. I’m not particularly impressed with either of you. Following up from your performance this morning I have been having serious thoughts about your position of co-editor in chief. All of the money that you’ve been pumping into the company hasn’t really gone to benefit anyone in this company but yourself and Matthew, and sometimes you’re just not worth the hassle. So I’d keep your thoughts to yourself if I were you.” Arthur had been getting redder and redder in the face as Ludwig continued, from embarrassment or anger it was hard to tell, and by the scowl on his face it wasn’t hard to tell that he wasn’t used to being scolded. The Kirkland family had always been rather well off, and Arthur was far too used to getting his own way. Francis on the other hand found Arthurs lecture to be highly amusing, and a huge smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“You two will have to work out your differences and stop all of these petty arguments for the sake of the company and your careers! Do I make myself clear? Don’t make me regret handing this company over to you, Francis…” Ludwig said through a clenched jaw.

“Yes, Sir.” Francis and Arthur exchanged quick glances before replying in unison.

“Now get out.”

\--------

It had just passed noon and Lukas was now on his way to the Library. Although he owned a bookstore, he liked to take trips to the public library. He used it as an excuse to see what types of books were popular at the moment as well as to read books that he didn’t have at home or in the store. Hopefully the books that he found to be popular could help him bring in customers if he knew what they were interested in. He hadn’t eaten lunch yet, so Lukas staggered into a small bar on the way to the Library, a stack of books balancing between his arms and chin. This bar had been a favourite of his for a while, as during the day it served sandwiches, soft drinks, tea and coffee as opposed to past eight o’clock when it began serving beers, wines and spirits. He had been a couple of times after dark for drinks with Tino, but more often than not he preferred to come during the day and enjoy a sandwich or two. He chose his usual seat by the window, sitting down in one of the booths and placing his books at the end of the table, furthest away from where he sat. He didn’t need to look at the menu, as he already knew what he was having, and the waiter knew by now too. But instead of the usual member of staff that tended to his needs, he was approached by a rather tall guy he hadn't seen working here with a mess of ginger hair. He wore a smug grin on his face as he approached Lukas at his table, fumbling in the front pocket of his little black apron for his order pad as he did so.

“Good afternoon, thank you for stopping by today. My name is Matthias and I’ll be taking care of you. Do you know what you’d like to order, or shall I give you some more time?”

Lukas blinked up at Matthias, taking in his long winded and obviously rehearsed introduction and enthusiastic expression.

“I’d like to order now, please. I’ll take a coffee, black, no sugar and a Tuna Toastie.” Lukas said, reciting his usual order.

After cheerily confirming his order, only minutes later Matthias returned with a mug of coffee and a plate holding the Toastie.

“Here we go, one black coffee and a Tuna Toastie.” He set them down with a grin.

“Thank you.” Lukas didn’t look his waiter in the eye, suddenly feeling ridiculously shy, and instead he slipped his glasses onto his face and opened a book expecting Matthias to leave to serve another table. Much to Lukas’ surprise though, Matthias did not leave, and instead he took a seat at the booth across the table from him. Looking over his glasses, Lukas stared at his new company and raised an eyebrow.

“Can I help you with something?”

“Well, there are no other customers besides you at the moment, and you’re a regular so I might as well get to know my loyal customers.”

Lukas quickly glanced around and, true to Matthias’ word, he found all of the other tables to be empty. He stared at Matthias for a moment, a little lost for words. When Lukas came in here to have lunch, it was to half an hour all to himself and lose himself in a book without getting disturbed.

“You have a point, but you’re assuming I’m a regular? Why is that?” Lukas asked, snapping his book shut and reaching for his coffee.

“Because you didn’t even look at the menu before you ordered.”

This guy was too smug for Lukas’ liking. The way that he was just resting his elbows on the table, his chin in his palms as though they weren't just complete strangers set Lukas's nerves on edge a little.

“Hey, are you gonna keep staring at me, or are you actually gonna eat your food before it gets cold?”

Lukas was brought back to reality when a pair of fingers snapped infront of his face, startling him a little and he felt his face flush pink.

“Yes. Sorry, I was in a world of my own.” He said, then took a bite of his sandwich.

Mathias laughed, but didn’t take his own eyes off of Lukas,

“So what’s your name?”

Beginning to grow irritated, Lukas swallowed his food and sighed. “What’s it to you?”

“Well, you know mine, so it’s only polite right?”

Lukas scoffed at this, and took another bite of his sandwich, pondering whether or not to give out his name to this idiot. Most people would have done so in this situation, as he was only being friendly, but Lukas’s anxiety nagged at him, telling him that this person could be trouble. Mathias giving out his name was part of his job anyway, so it didn’t matter that Lukas knew it without giving his out in exchange.

To hell with it, he would probably never meet this kid again, if he kept up his antics of stacking off to chat with the customers like this then he was bound to get fired sooner or later, Lukas thought. However, he took too long in replying, and before he could even open his mouth to do so, a napkin was stuffed in his hands and Mathias got up from the table and headed back into the kitchen without so much as a word.

Lukas frowned and unfolded the scrunched up napkin. On it he found a row of eleven letters in scruffy scrawl, making up a phone number. Had that guy seriously just given Lukas his number?

Lukas stared at it for a moment or two, before suddenly stuffing the napkin in his pocket and finishing off his coffee in a quick gulp. He stood, but instead of waiting for his bill, he took out the exact change needed to pay for his meal and placed it on a napkin of his own in the centre of the table. He hesitated, feeling the back of his neck prickle apprehension as he neatly scribbling his own number onto it and hoped that Matthias wouldn’t walk back out before he could leave. Then he quickly grabbed his books and headed for the door before he could regret what he had just done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Berwald goddamn
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thank you for reading!
> 
> -lumassen x


	4. Chapter 4 - The Representative

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The art featured in this story is by the amazingly talented @artinoctober with permission to use - you can find them on tumblr! <3

**Chapter 4 – The Representative**

“Are you 1000% sure that I didn’t bring it home last night?” Tino flapped frantically turning every piece of furniture upside down. Lukas stood in the kitchen, still in his pyjamas with his hair stuck up everywhere after only just rolling out of bed just moments earlier. He sighed and pressed his hand against his forehead. It was way too early in the morning for this.

“Yes, Tino. I’m _1000_ % sure you didn’t bring that stupid binder home last night.” He said, rolling his eyes and yanking the refrigerator open, taking the carton of orange juice and pouring a glass for Emil, who would be in any minute now. Today was one of those rare occasions where Emil was actually up before Lukas could wake him. He liked to do this sometimes to prove a point to Lukas that he was getting to bed at a reasonable time and not staying up all night playing video games. By going to bed early enough he wasn’t too tired to wake up on time in the morning; therefore saving his game console from being confiscated.

“Ugh, Lukas I don’t think you understand how important that binder is! It’s not stupid!” Tino was now crawling around in the living room beside his pull-out sofa bed on his hands and knees.

“Erm, Tino? What are you doing?” Emil came into the living room, tucking his school shirt into his trousers as he walked, but stopped suddenly, a little confused as to why Tino’s butt sticking out from underneath his bed was the first thing to greet him.

“Oh! Emil! Come here! You’re smaller than me, do you think you could crawl a little further under here and see if you can see a binder hidden somewhere?” Tino beckoned to Emil, his voice muffled and obscured by the fact that he was now completely under the make-shift bed.

“Give it a rest already, T! It’s not here! Get yer fat ass out from under the bed and get to work!” Lukas shouted from the kitchen, causing both Emil and Tino to jump, Tino smacking his head off of the bed frame in the process. “Emil, come an’ eat your breakfast.” He finished, and slammed a plate of toast down on the table.

“Sorry.” Emil whispered to Tino, who had now emerged from under the bed, looking like a kicked puppy.

Reluctantly, Tino trudged into Lukas’ bedroom and over to his wardrobe. Because the apartment only had two bedrooms, Tino slept on a pull-out sofa bed in the living room and kept his clothes and belongings in a separate wardrobe in Lukas’ room. Lukas had offered to share his room with Tino when he first moved in, but with them both being grown men, they decided it would be a little difficult; especially when Tino used to have Marcus over. Tino didn’t mind his pull-out bed either. It was a double that he had all to himself and was ridiculously squishy; as he had discarded the mattress that originally came with the bed and purchased a thick memory foam one.

He pulled out an outfit and threw it on in a huff, still panicking about loosing the binder. Perhaps if he got to work earlier than he was supposed to, it would make up for the lack of binder? Hah, yeah right. But at least he was putting in the effort. Having already washed and brushed his teeth that morning, Tino waltzed into the kitchen, snatched a gingerbread cookie, slung his satchel over his shoulder and left the apartment, slamming the door behind him. His stomach was in knots so he didn’t really feel like eating a proper breakfast, so he munched on his cookie as he hurried to work.

Lukas had offered to give Tino a ride to work after dropping Emil off, but Tino wasn’t in the mood for Lukas this morning after the way he had shouted at him; and the walk to work should help calm him down before facing Francis.

Just over twenty minutes later Tino arrived at the Publications and called for the elevator. Once inside he began checking his face in the mirror for any crumbs that might have stuck to his flushed cheeks. Walking all that way as quickly as he did had tired him out and his breathing was heavy and echoing as he rode the elevator up to the 35th floor. The doors opened all too soon and when Tino stepped out he collided with somebody entering the elevator, knocking a hot drink out of their hand.

Tinos’ hands covered his mouth and he stuttered numerous apologies as he bent down beside the man who was attempting to mop up the spilt drink with a single napkin.

  
“Oh my god, I’m really sorry! I didn’t even see you there; I was in a world of my own. Are you okay? I didn’t burn you with that drink did I?”

“Don’t apologise, it’s alright. These things happen, and I wasn’t really watching where I was going either.” Soft, kind eyes looked up at Tino through a pair of thin, round glasses while their wearer attempted to tuck a long stray strand of hair behind his ear; with no luck at all as it sprang back moments later. He stood and held out his hand. He was considerably taller than Tino; though bearing in mind, it was hard to find another male who was Tino’s height, let alone shorter than him. “I’m Matthew. Matthew Williams. Arthur's assistant.” he said, introducing himself.

“Tino Väinämöinen.” Tino shook Matthews hand firmly.

“It’s nice to actually meet you. You're Francis's new assistant right?" Matthew began before stopping himself, "Ah, you looked like you were in a hurry though before bumping into me, don’t let me keep you from where you were heading. I can clean this up.” Matthew smiled softly before bending down again to pick up the empty paper cup.

“Oh! Yes, I need to be somewhere. Thank you, it was uhh, nice meeting you too! Again, I’m sorry!”

Tino had already set off down the corridor before he could even finish his sentence. He decided that he was going to go right up to Francis and explain that he’d misplaced the book before the guilt could build up even more. He hurried past his desk on his was to Francis’ office, as it was in the room next door, and as he passed he glanced through the glass wall at it and noticed something on laying there that wasn’t there when he left yesterday. He stopped, squinting a little before turning around and making his way over.

There, sat right in the middle of his desk, was his binder. Tino flopped down in his chair, a huge sigh of relief escaping his lips. On the binder was a yellow sticky note. Tino peeled it off and read over the scruffy pencil scrawl.

“ _You left this in my workshop yesterday. - Berwald._ ”

A huge grin broke out across Tinos’ face. He just couldn’t control it. He wasn’t sure if it was purely because his binder had returned and he was no longer on the verge of losing his job, or if it was the person who brought it back to him that had anything to do with it. At any rate, Tino would be sure to thank Berwald next time he saw him.  
Now that he had his binder, Tino could begin his days’ work. To start off the day, he had to type up and organise Francis’ schedule for the day, making sure that none of his meetings ran over or overlapped another one; that sort of thing. Then he was to deliver it to Francis’ and complete any tasks given to him by Francis’.  
“Alright… let’s see here.” Tino talked quietly to himself as he typed up and printed off the schedule. He had it done within half an hour and was on his way to Francis’ office by the time 9 o’ clock rolled around – half an hour earlier than it should have been done.

“Good Morning, Francis!” Tino chirped as he entered Francis’ office finding him sat as his desk tapping away on his laptop.

“Oh, Good Morning, Tino. Is that my schedule you have with you?” Francis peered over the screen at Tino who was now stood at the foot of the desk.

“Yes, I got here earlier than I thought, so I might as well have made myself useful and get this to you early. Can I get you anything? Coffee? Tea? Some breakfast perhaps?” Tino asked, holding out Francis’s binder.

“Oh, Thank you. I appreciate you bringing this to me early.” Francis said, taking the binder from Tino as he held it out to him. “I was a little over run to tell the truth. And though it would be nice, no coffee or tea for me. I have to be somewhere in…” he paused to check his wrist watch, “Well now, actually.”

Francis closed his laptop and stood, taking his suit jacket from the back of his chair and slipping it on. He remained there for a moment in thought, before straightening his jacket and continuing, “Say… You haven’t by any chance heard of Natalia Arlovskaya before, have you Tino?”

Tino shook his head. “Um, well no. Not really. I did do some research on her yesterday though when I heard you mention her in the meeting. She’s a Belarusian model. Why do you ask?”

A large smile crept up onto Francis’ face.

“Well then, how would you like to be her assistant during the fashion shoot this afternoon?”

Tino’s mouth fell open, but he quickly closed it again aware of how dumb he must look, but it was his second day on the job and he was already being offered a task such as this. He thought he’d at least just be running around after Francis, offering him coffee and snacks for the first few months. In truth, he didn’t think models had assistants besides their actual PA, but he was clearly wrong.

“Yes, I’d be happy to!” he said, reflecting Francis’ smile. “Is that really okay? I mean, what would I have to do?”

Francis flipped a piece of stray hair over his shoulder and shrugged, “Oh, well nothing much really. You’ll just need to tend to her needs, say, if she needs a glass of water. It’s not a very important job, but it’s quite a big responsibility to make sure that she’s happy and willing to do the shoot for us. You’ll be representing our company, Tino. I’m counting on you.”

Francis gave Tino a nod before fastening his blazer and exiting the room.

“Francis, wait! Where do I go? And what do I say?” Tino called after him.

“Just meet me down on floor 32 at 1 o’ clock today, I’ll explain everything then.”

\-----------

The canteen made Tino feel like he was back in high school. Everyone seemed to have their own little friendship group which crowded around a specific table. A few groups gave Tino odd looks as he wandered around looking for a spare table. If it wasn’t for the food actually looking and smelling appetising, then right now would pretty much have been a step back in time to when Tino was just a teen. He began to panic, feeling anxiety and paranoia creeping up on him as people began whisper to each other. Were they talking about him? It was his clothes, wasn’t it? Oh God, Tino. Why didn’t you take Emil’s advice and just tone it down a little?  
‘You’re just being paranoid; we’re all adults in this room. Mature, grown up adults.’ Tino scolded himself under his breath for getting himself worked up over nothing and continued his search for a place to sit.

“Tino!”

He glanced over his shoulder, eyes scanning frantically for the voice calling him. It was Matthew, waving timidly at him from a rather crowded table across the room. A kind looking woman who Tino recognised from yesterday’s meeting sat opposite him. She too was looking at Tino, a smile gracing her face as she patted an empty seat next to her, inviting Tino to come and sit. Tino smiled back, relieved to have found somewhere to sit as well as someone to sit with, the thought of eating alone didn’t sound fun.

“So, you’re Tino! The clumsy little Finn!” the woman said as he neared the table and took a seat next to her. She let out a light laugh at the sight of the confused look on Tinos’ face.

“I’m Elizabeta, one of the photographers here. I was in the meeting when you decided to take an attraction to our glass door.” She smiled into her cup before taking a sip of her beverage. A few others around the table chucked slightly, but in a humorous way it seemed, not out of spite.

Tino blushed furiously and cleared his throat. “Ha, yeah. I was trying to make a good impression too. Looks like I messed that up.”

“Don’t worry about it, we needed a laugh before Arthur graced us with his presence…” a blonde haired, spectacled man said a little bitterly. Tino gave a shy smile, not really knowing what to say. He obviously didn’t know Arthur as well as these people did, so he would leave the insulting to them.

“Let’s change the topic, shall we? This is our break after all, and the poor dear doesn’t even know your names, guys.” Elizabeta said, resting her elbows on the table, cupping her chin in one palm, and using the other hand to point out each person as she introduced them.

“You know the lil’ cutie-pie Matthew over here, he’s Arthurs’ assistant. This here is Eduard, ICONS’ financial advisor. The lovely Toris, a fellow photographer. Feliciano and Lovino, brothers and stylists. Michelle, our beautiful receptionist, and last but by no means least, Christina Densen*, wardrobe.” She finished with a smile, each person either nodding or grinning at Tino as they were introduced.

“It’s nice to meet you all! I was worried about finding friends when I noticed how grouped together everyone is. It’s just like high school!”

Lovino rolled his eyes. “Yeah, so I guess you could call us the social rejects then or something.” He said in a huff, stabbing harshly at his baked potato on his plate. The table then broke out into chatter, most insisting that Lovino loved sitting with them. This resulted in Lovino eventually leaving the table dramatically, saying something about going off to find his self-esteem, a trail of curse words following as he did so.

“You’ll get used to him. He’s very sweet really.” Feliciano said, taking the discarded baked potato from his brothers’ plate and tucking in.

Tino laughed a little. “Yes, I’m sure he is. But I also have a question.”

“Oh?” Feliciano looked up from his meal.

Tino looked over his shoulder before asking, scanning the room just in case, before turning back to his company.

“Where’s Berwald? He said, and the table suddenly fell silent.”

“How do you know him?” Toris asked quietly. It was the first time that he’d spoke and his voice was calm, with a slight accent. Tino scratched the back of his head and explained how he had gotten lost yesterday and Berwald had shown him the way, and about how he had returned his binder to him via the note on his desk.

“I see.” Toris replied with a smile, yet he was the only one smiling.

“Um.. do you guys not get on well with him or something?” Tino questioned upon noticing the unchanged expressions.

“Sort of. There are various rumours about him and he never really comes out of his workshop, so we don’t really interact with him. No-one does really.” Eduard stated simply with a shrug of his shoulders.

“I-If you don’t mind me asking, what are the rumours?” Tino asked.

The table seemed to hesitate; exchanging glances before Christina finally sighed.

“There are no rumours, really. No-one honestly knows why he’s always alone. I guess we all just assumed that there was a reason.” She began, “He’s been here longer than all of us, so when we first got here, he was always being avoided. We just joined in I guess, assuming somethin’ was up. We don’t really know for sure. He’s a really weird though. When he does come out of his workshop, which is kind of rare, he doesn’t really talk to anyone.”

Tino sighed in relief, but his heart sank at the thought of Berwald eating all alone somewhere. Berwald had obviously been working here for many, many years, but he didn’t seem to have a single friend. Yet here was Tino sat at a table full of people who already loved him and he hadn’t even been here a week yet.

“That’s such a shame, he seemed really nice. I’ll agree, a little weird, but everyone deserves to have friends right?” Tino wasn’t really talking to anyone in particular, just mumbling to himself. The rest of his company had resumed the casual conversation that was circling the table before Tino sat down. Michelle was explaining a rather complicated hairstyle to Christina, who nodded along eagerly. Tino ate in silence, just listening to the chatter amongst the table before his eyes trailed towards the clock.  
“Oh crap!” He jumped up in a hurry and slung his bag over his shoulders.

“What’s wrong?” Elizabeta questioned.

“I’m supposed to be meeting Francis down on floor 32 any minute now! Sorry guys, Bye!”

Tino was already rushing off down the corridor before he could even finish his sentence, leaving both his tray of food and a few stunned faces at the sudden burst of energy behind.

He hurried to the elevator and called for it, pushing the strap of his satchel back onto his shoulder when it began to slip while he waited impatiently for it to arrive. With a ‘ding’ the doors finally opened and Tino stepped inside. He was glad to find it empty. Turning to the mirror, he began to fix his hair. He pulled a comb from his bag and gave his bangs a quick brush, making himself look presentable. Looking at his watch, he saw that it was exactly 1pm. He’d just made it.

The monotone voice over in the elevator announced ‘floor 32’ as the doors glided open and Tino stepped out. It was a busy floor, with all kinds of people milling about. Unlike the maze of offices and small studios a few floors up, this floor was just one big open studio, with lights, cameras, props and backdrops scattered everywhere. Tino noticed though amongst the sea of people hurrying around that Francis was nowhere to be seen.

“There you are! Thank god, we were worried that you’d gotten lost and the shoot would be delayed!” Someone took hold of Tino’s arm and spoke to him quickly, tugging him in the direction of a dressing room in the far corner of the set. She was dressed in black pants and a black t-shirt, with ICON’s logo printed in white text across the front, and held a clipboard in her free hand.

Although Tino was confused, he just let her take him with her without a fuss. He wasn’t late, it was exactly 1pm, but she worked on this floor, and so obviously she knew what she was doing. It wasn’t until he was whisked away into a dressing room and a stylist began to strip him down did he realise this was a mistake.

“You’re a bit short to be a model for this shoot… are you sure these clothes are the right size? Who measured you?”

The stylist began to fire questions at him as she tried to unbutton his shirt. In a panic, Tino pushed her hands away and turned away from her, extremely embarrassed about his exposed chest and stomach.

“I think there’s been a mistake! I’m not the model you’re looking for.” He cried, fumbling to fasten his buttons back up.  
The look on the stylists face was nothing short of a look of pure rage.

“Sir, are you, or are you not the representative from ICON?”

Tino swallowed and nodded, shrinking back a little under her gaze. “And is your name Tino Väinämöinen?

Again, he nodded, but this time more hesitantly. The stylist showed the clip board to him, and indeed his name was written on there.

“In order to give ICON some credit for hosting and sponsoring the shoot, we allowed the company to put forward one of their models to appear in the shoot, and your name is on that list.”

Tino was stunned, but he couldn’t deny the facts. His name was there in black and white ink, clear as day. He had never modelled before in his life! This was definitely a mistake, but Francis’s words from earlier echoed in his mind.

“You’ll be representing our company, Tino. I’m counting on you.”

He would no doubt be in trouble if the shoot didn’t go as planned, and maybe he would even lose his job! Hell, he might even get a bonus on his paycheck for doing this. Tino had never been so reluctant in all of his life to remove an article of clothing as simple as a shirt in his life.

“Y-Yes. Sorry, you’re right. My mistake.”

The stylist nodded, and without a word, stripped Tino down to his underwear. She was quick, and her fingers worked like lightning on the buttons. First his shirt, then his shoes, pants and socks, gone before he could say another word. She then began to re-dress him into rather… revealing clothes.

To say that Tino was way out of his comfort zone was an understatement. He remained shirtless, with just a tight black pair of boxers on. The undergarments had a garter belt around the top, which were attached to high black stockings. He looked like something out of a kinky lingerie brochure! He stood with his arms folded tightly across his chest, face pink with embarrassment. The stylist didn’t look pleased at all. She eyed Tino up and down, obviously not satisfied with his lack of bodily muscle.

“You don’t really look like our other models… but we haven’t got any time left to worry about that.” She snapped, her hands firmly on her hips.

“Um, what exactly are we shooting today?” Tino’s voice, much to his horror, squeaked when he spoke, nerves truly getting the better of him.

“It’s a lingerie shoot. Natalia will be the centre of the shoot, of course, and yourself and two other men will be modelling around her; in the background if you will. Make it hot, sexy and flirty. Now get out there.” She commanded, pointing to the door of the dressing rooms.

  
Taking a deep breath, Tino made his way out into the studio.

  
 _I can do hot. I can do sexy… I can do this_. He told himself as he walked onto the set. There, Natalia was already lay upon a bed in beautiful, white lacy lingerie, and two tall, tanned and well-toned men stood at either side of the bed; dressed in exactly the same clothes that Tino was wearing.

_Shit. I can’t do this._

They looked him up and down as he approached them, his heart pounding in his chest. Even the photographer seemed a little taken aback, but nonetheless he called for the shoot to begin.

“Alright! Looking good. For the first 20 frames, I want Natalia spread out across the bed. You’re the centre of attention. You there,” he pointed to the taller of the two male models, “I want you on that sofa to the left of the bed. We’re going to make this sexy. Natalia, you’re a queen! Work it!”

The camera snapped away, and Natalia looked practically regal upon that bed. Tino and the other male model stood off to the side, out of shot. Tino began to fidget; he could feel the sneers from the population of the room and the judgmental eyes upon him. He was in a panic, and so time went by in a blur, and the next thing he knew he was being called for by the photographer.

“Alright, Blondie. I want to try something with you. I want you up on the bed with Natalia, make close contact with her. Natalia, I want you to dominate him.”  
He nodded towards the bed, and Tino’s legs nearly gave way as he began to step forward.

Natalia sat up on the bed, gaze heavy as she watched him approach. She looked so delicate, like her skin was made of fine porcelain. She shifted on the bed, making room for Tino. She had a strange look on her face, which frightened Tino even more. Oddly enough though, when Tino went to sit next to her, she smiled softly at him, probably sensing his hesitation. This was awful; Tino was going to embarrass himself. Hell, he wasn’t even straight! Though that probably didn’t matter if you were modelling, but I order to feel sexy and comfortable, it probably helped, right? Just as Tino was about to sit, the double doors at the far end of the studio slammed open, and a loud bang echoed throughout the room.

“What on earth is going on!?”

Tino whipped his head around, as did lots of other people including Natalia, startled by the sudden entrance. Stood in the doorway, holding the two doors open at the side of him with outstretched arms was Mr Kirkland. Matthew and Elizabeta were stood just a little way behind him. Arthur strode into the room and people parted to make way for him as he approached the set where Tino was frozen with fear, one leg up on the bed. Matthew was scurrying behind him, worried eyes locked with Tinos. He brought a finger up and dragged it across his neck, signalling that Tino was in for it if he didn’t get his ass off the set.  
Arthur stopped infront of the set and looked around.

“Do I need to repeat myself, or is someone going to answer my question? And where is Francis?”

The entire set broke out into chaos. Arthur began to argue with the photographer, demanding that Elizabeta would take over from now on as she was originally assigned to do it. Matthew was frantically trying to locate Francis.

Tino stood on the set, rooted to the spot next to the bed unsure of what to do with himself. Suddenly, someone grabbed hold of his arm and dragged him from the set. His mind was so lost within the chaos and the embarrassment of so many people seeing him in tight underwear – especially Arthur – that he didn’t even realise who it was who was leading him away until they were safely hidden back in the dressing room. He pushed him further into the room and closed the door behind them.

“Berwald! Where did you come from!?” Tino squeaked, snatching up his clothes from where they hung over the back of a chair.

Berwald remained by the door and kept his gaze to the floor as Tino wiggled into his trousers. He shuffled around a little and awkwardly wrung his hands.

  
“I’m here ‘cause I helped move the bed an’ set up the set. That’s what I do, remember?”

Tino instantly felt bad for making Berwald think that he’d forgotten. It’s not that he didn’t remember; he was just caught up in the commotion of what had just happened that it slipped his mind.

“Of course, sorry.”

Berwald stood for a moment before reaching for the door handle. “Mmm.. I’m gonna go now.”

Still with only one arm through his shirt Tino called out for Berwald not to leave, and just wait for a moment. It’s true, Berwald was awkward, a bit weird and ever so slightly frightening with that harsh glare, but Tino wasn’t the type to judge him before they knew him like everyone else. Plus, he had already seen him in nothing but a pair of underpants. The ice was a bit beyond broken now.

“Wait, Berwald. Stay with me for a minute.”

Berwald lifted his head up and finally made eye contact with Tino.

“…You want me to stay?” he seemed a bit shocked, but Tino nodded.

“Yeah. Why don’t we just sit or something while we wait for the chaos out there to calm down? I mean, we don’t have to sit, we could stand. And talk. Only if you want to. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I don’t mind talking instead. Or we don’t have to talk at all. Sorry…”

Tino fidgeted when Berwald didn’t respond and instead just stood there, hand still on the door handle, and looked at him. Then his hand slipped from the handle and swung loosely by his side.

"I don't really want to face the chaos out there," Berwald said, laughing a little, "so we can talk for a while if you want."

A smile broke out across Tino’s face as he finished buttoning up his shirt.

*

After all the commotion on the set had calmed down and the photo-shoot turned out to be a complete disaster, Tino, Arthur and Francis were all called into Mr Beilschmidt’s office. They all stood before his desk, each mad at each other for various different reasons.

“See this is exactly why I was reluctant to leave as soon as I handed the company over to you, Francis.”

Mr Beilschmidt sat behind his desk and scolded the three adults before him as if they were just school children.

“Was this really a mistake, or were you just trying to get around the deal that we made?”

Francis shrank back under Ludwig’s gaze and he and Arthur quickly exchanged knowing glances. As far as Tino was concerned, he had no idea what this deal was they were talking about and was in the room purely because he had been the one involved in the mix up and was the one forced to go out into a public room in very revealing underwear! Nonetheless, he hung his head and was rather intimidated by the power of Mr Beilschmidt.

Francis narrowed his gaze at Ludwig and stuffed his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels.

“Of course it was trying to get around the deal!” he said finally, running a hand over his chin, avoiding Tino's gaze as he looked at him.

Mr Beilschmidt didn’t respond and instead turned to Tino.

“Mr Väinämöinen, I appreciate you coming all the way up here but I have nothing else to say to you other than I apologise on behalf of the company about what happened this afternoon. You may leave now.”

Tino nodded and slung his satchel over his shoulder, looking at Francis once more to try and catch his eye, but he had his face downcast.

“Thank you, Mr Beilschmidt.”

Although he was glad to be dismissed, he couldn’t help but wonder what this deal was that they were talking about. It hadn’t really been answered why he had been put on the modelling list and how come nobody was asking about for Natalia’s assistant. So upon leaving Tino made sure to leave the door open very very slightly. It was wrong, and he may get fired for this if he was caught. But nobody was around to see him and all of the walls on the floor of Mr Beilschmidt’s office were made of brick and plaster, not glass, so he could not be seen by the company in said office when he crouched down by the crack in the open door and placed his ear against it. Their voices were slightly muffled by the thick door, but Tino could hear well enough to make out what they were saying. Plus, Francis had now raised his voice.

“I know it was wrong of me, but it’s not fair!”

“Is this deal you speak of what I think it is?”

Mr Kirkland spoke up for the first time since being called into the office.

“Yes, Arthur, it is. And it wouldn’t be this way if Francis could keep his hands off of female assistants!”

There was the sound of a chair scraping across a wooden floor, which was no doubt Mr Beilschmidt rising up from his seat like he always did when he was growing irritated.  
“But why him!? Matthew is a handsome male, someone nice to look at! If you didn’t want to give me a female assistant then why not give me a remotely good looking male at least? Someone who actually dresses like they work at a high class fashion magazine and not some short, fat, brace-face who doesn’t seem to understand the importance of dressing to impress!”

Tino felt his heart drop to his stomach when he realised it was him that they were talking about. He could feel his mouth going dry and yet he couldn’t seem to stop listening.

“Francis, I chose Mr Väinämöinen because I knew that you would not try to flirt with him, and you would not find him in the least bit attractive. When I saw him down in the lobby on the day he applied for a job here that is what I thought, and so I hired him after your little.. incident with your previous assistant,. It turns out that he is a very nice young man and he gets the job done! I will hear nothing more about this, and I am very disappointed in you for trying to get rid of him by embarrassing him like this and ruining my company’s reputation with Natalia and her manager!”

After Mr Beilschmidt’s speech, Tino was choking back tears. Even the compliment about him working well couldn’t change the fact that he now knew his superiors opinions about him, and that he had gotten the job just so he would repulse Francis into not wanting to flirt with his personal assistant. His heart was shattered into a million pieces. Wiping a few tears away that dared to leak out, Tino stood up and clutched his satchel strap tight across his chest. Never in his life had he wanted to get away from a place as much as he did right now.

\--------

“Hello? Lukas Thomassen speaking.” Lukas put on his best phone voice as he answered his mobile.

“I wasn’t expecting you to call first anyway.”

Lukas narrowed his brows, confused at the strange greeting from this person with an unknown number.

“I’m sorry, who is this?”

There was a pause before the person spoke up again.

“I got your napkin. Though I was surprised that you didn’t leave a tip. How very mean of you.”

Suddenly realisation hit and Lukas’s heart hitched into his mouth. He quickly brought his mobile phone away from his ear and covered up the speaker with his palm. He quickly looked around the living room to make sure Emil was definitely in his room. Though he was nowhere to be seen, Lukas got up from his place on the couch and walked into the kitchen and leaned against the countertops, putting the phone back to his ear.

“Tell me, what did you do to earn your tip?” he asked down the receiver, trying to sound as confident as he could.

His admirer, otherwise known as Matthias, laughed a little and his breath muffled through the phone.

“Well, I kept you company didn’t I? And I make a good cup of coffee.”

“Annoyed me sounds more like it, and I’ve tasted better…”

“Oh really? And who brewed it for you?” Matthias asked inquisitively.

“That would be telling. But I’ve had a fair share of people who liked to make me coffee in the morning.” Lukas said, then immediately wanted to kick himself for saying something so stupid.

“That doesn’t surprise me. You’re very charming.”

Lukas’s eyes widened a little and he didn’t really know how to respond to that. Throughout his life he had always been the quiet, weird one who no-one ever really noticed, and he watched everyone around him settle down with partners. Next year he would be 30, and hadn’t even thought about dating for a god few years.

Wait, dating? Who said anything about dating? For some reason Lukas was assuming that this boy wanted to date him. What if he just wanted to be friends? Nothing that he said indicated that he was looking for a partner, and Lukas was straight after all. Lukas’s heart began to race and he fell silent, a strange feeling eating away at his stomach. Matthias seemed to pick up on this Lukas’s loss for words, and he spoke again.

“Sorry, that sort of slipped out. Uhh, so…”

As if on que, Lukas heard the sound of Tino’s keys rattling in the front door and sure enough, when he peered into the hallway he saw the distinct outline of his friend through the netting on the front door window.

“Listen, now isn’t really a good time to talk. Sorry, but I have to go.”

Matthias sounded a little annoyed at the conversation being so short, and almost sounded desperate to make sure that they would speak again before Lukas hung up.  
“Okay, fine. But I’ll speak to you again. Are you home tomorrow?”

Lukas hesitated, though he knew the answer fully well. Of course he was home. He rarely went out unless he was going to the library or out somewhere with Emil or Tino. During the weekdays he was always sat behind the counter of his little bookshop downstairs, drawing or reading and watching the hours tick by. To be honest it would be wonderful to have someone to talk to during those slow hours when nobody came in.

“Yes, I’ll be home tomorrow.”

Matthias sighed, in relief or content perhaps?

“Ok. I look forward to speaking to you again. Bye.”

He hung up before Lukas could even respond.

The door slammed closed which signalled the arrival of Tino, though something was off. Usually when Tino enters their home he will call out to Emil and Lukas to let them know that he’s back. Lukas waited, but it didn’t come. He slid his phone into his back pocket and peered into the hallway again to see Tino leaning against the front door with his hands covering his face. His shoulders were shaking a little as if he were crying. Sure enough, as Lukas approached him he could hear muffled sobs coming from behind tiny hands.  
“Tino, what’s the matter? Come here. Tell me.”

Lukas gingerly took hold of Tino’s wrists and lifted his hands away from his face. Tino’s eyes were red and puffy and full of tears and his cheeks were red and flushed from crying. Lukas wasn’t all that good at comforting people – it was usually Tino who was the cheerful one and did the comforting – but right now Lukas needed to do something. Tino never cried like this.

“I’ve just h-had… the worst day of my l-life.” Tino said between sobs, snatching one hand away from Lukas’s grip to wipe the tears from his face.

“Shh, come and sit down. I’ll get you a tissue. Take your coat and shoes off though. I don’t want shoes in the house. Get sorted out and you can tell me all about it.”

Tino sniffled some more and nodded, kicking his shoes off and angrily sliding himself out of his coat. Lukas went into the living room and grabbed the box of tissues then flopped down on the couch, patting the cushions next to him. Tino came over and sat next to him, staring at the colourful patterns on the rug. He had stopped crying now and wiped the last of his tears away with a tissue when Lukas handed him the box.

Lukas didn’t say anything, and just shifted on the couch and brought his legs up so that they were crossed and he was facing Tino.

“They think I’m ugly. They think I’m fat. They embarrassed me and they tried to get rid of me. I’m a laughing stock. Hell, they don’t just think that, they said that! I heard them!”

Tino crumpled his tissue in his fist in frustration and fresh tears threatened to fall. Lukas placed a hand on his shoulder, his expression full of concern.

“Who said that? How did they embarrass you?”

After taking a deep breath, Tino retold the tale of everything that happened that day. Everything from Francis offering him the job as the models assistant to the last thing he heard Mr Beilschmidt say before he left the building. Lukas’s grip on his shoulder tightened as he told the story and by the end of it he was in tears again. Lukas uncrossed his legs and shuffled closer to Tino, pulling him in for a hug. If it were anyone else, Tino would have been so embarrassed to be seen like this, but he and Lukas were as close as brothers and he found great comfort in resting his head against Lukas’s somewhat bony shoulder, feeling the softness of his sweater against his cheek and breathing in his warm scent. Lukas put his arm around Tino’s shoulder and ran his hands through his hair, a technique he had used to comfort Emil when he was younger.  
“I don’t know what to say. They should be ashamed of themselves, the lot of them.”

Tino could feel Lukas’s chest hum and rumble when he talked, but he couldn’t concentrate on his words. The words of Mr Beilschmidt and Francis were still swimming around his head. After a few minutes of silence, Tino sighed and mumbled,

“Lukas… Do you think I’m fat? What about my clothes? Do you think I could impress someone professional?”

“Tino, of course you’re not fat!”

Tino raised his head from Lukas’s shoulder and looked at him.

“Answer me honestly, you can’t say anything that will upset me more, so why not just tell me the truth because-”

“Stop it.” Lukas barked, took hold of Tino’s shoulders and turned him around fully so that he was completely facing him.

“Alright, yes, you’re a little chubby, but don't tell me you didn't know that already. Your clothes are a little bright an’ crazy, but it’s unique to you. You work for a fashion company, of course you’re gonna stand out but that’s because you don’t dress like a clone. You can walk into a room with a smile on your face and even the grumpiest of people will feel like the sun just shone a little bit brighter. Who needs a fancy suit and tie when you can impress people just by your presence and the way that you carry yourself? Hey, what are you cryin’ again for?” Lukas stopped talking and stared at Tino.

Tears were streaming once again down Tino’s face, but this time he was smiling.

“That’s the most I’ve ever heard you say at once, Lukas!”

Lukas rolled his eyes and slapped Tino playfully on the knee.

“I’m being serious here.”

Tino placed his hand over Lukas’s and smiled a little wider.

“I know. Thank you.”

The two snapped their heads towards the living room doorway when they heard someone wretch as if they were going to throw up. Emil was stood leaning against the door frame with his finger pointing towards an open mouth with his tongue poking out, faking at throwing up.

“So when’s the wedding gonna be, huh? You two sound like a couple from like, a romance movie or something.”

Lukas narrowed his eyes at his little brother.

“Don’t be so insolent. And what have I told you about sayin’ ‘like’ unnecessarily?”

“Oh, Lukas, leave him alone. He’s young; your old mind has yet to adjust to the new way of speaking.” Tino chided, catching Emil’s eye.

Lukas hit Tino again on the knee, harder this time. Emil came into the living room and joined his brother and his housemate on the couch. Tino stood up and almost immediately after Emil sat down, and so Emil swung his legs up into Tino’s empty spot and spread out on the couch, laying his feet across Lukas’s lap and stretching out with his arms behind his head.

“I’m going to make dinner. Who’s hungry?” Tino said as he began to walk through into the kitchen.

Emil groaned, “It depends… what are we eating?”

“Well I thought I’d experiment with-”

The two brothers interrupted their housemate simultaneously with a plea for Tino not to try out another one of his weird dishes.

“Why? What’s wrong with my cooking?”

Tino seemed to forget all about being upset and instead enjoyed his time with his strange little family. While Tino and Emil were arguing about cooking, Lukas slipped his phone from his pocket and scrolled through his ‘recent calls’ section, found the only other number that wasn’t Tino, Emil or his parents and added it to his contacts under the name: “Matthias”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Christina is nyo Denmark. She's an angel, I love her.
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I'll see you all next chapter!
> 
> -lumassen x


	5. Chapter 5 - Mirror Image

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The art featured in this story is by the amazingly talented @artinoctober with permission to use - you can find them on tumblr! <3

**Chapter Five – Mirror image**

The time on the clock hanging on the wall opposite the sofa bed read 5:23am. Tino lay wide awake and listened to the seconds ticking by, staring at the ceiling. After eating dinner last night, Tino curled up on the couch and watched a movie with Emil while Lukas sat with them, typing away at something on his laptop and making the odd comment about how dumb the movie was every now and again. When Tino was with them he seemed to forget about all of his imperfections, as they had just as many as he did; but even if they didn’t they would never judge him about his.

At Icon it was different. This job was Tino’s gateway to achieving his dream job, so if they weren’t going to change then he would. Throwing off the duvet, Tino slipped out of his bed and over to the dining table in the kitchen. The apartment was chilly and Tino shivered a little in nothing but his boxers while he pulled up a chair and flopped down into it, flinching a little as his bare thighs came into contact with the cold metal chair. He reached for his laptop. While he waited for it to boot up he looked at his reflection in the black loading screen, flashing his teeth and picking at his braces. It may seem a little odd for someone as old as 25 to have braces, and if he wanted to he could have them removed at any time. When he left his college dorm to move in with Emil and Tino he was only 19 and had already had his braces for a year and a half. He was due to have them taken off six months after he moved, but the move caused him to lose his place within his orthodontist centre and he couldn’t really afford to pay the large fee to join a new one closer to his new home to have them removed. So here he was 5 years later still with the wretched things still wired to his teeth. Another reason why he should change himself to fit in more at ICON. Get promotions, get bigger paychecks and then get braces removed.

Suddenly Tino’s reflection was obscured by the harsh blue background of the log on screen when his laptop finally loaded. He logged in, opened his browser and paused, hands hovering over the keys. What exactly was he aiming for here? He spent a couple of minutes thinking over what to actually search for, and what he wanted his new and improved look to be like.

Double clicking into the search bar, he began to run some searches.

Search: “Clothing styles 2013”

No, wait.

Search: “Mens fashion 2013”

Oh, that shirt looks nice. Pretty popular too. Wait, how much!?

Search: “Cheap fashionable clothes 2013” “- for men”

Nothing much here. Why not try something more specific?

Search: “How to dress fashionably for guys”

Search result: The Habits Of Stylish Men – AskMen

‘Want to be the best dressed guy in the room? Click to launch the Top 10 Stylish Men Habits. Follow our tips and a more fashionable life will soon be yours.’

A grin crept across Tino’s face as he clicked the link and waited for the webpage to load, thinking he’d hit the jackpot. But as he scrolled further and further down the page, that grin began to disappear.

The article was suggesting that things such as getting a haircut every four weeks, storing your clothes neatly, buying expensive shirts and suits, having a 'signature scent' - whatever the hell that meant, and having some clothes custom made to fit was the way forward to become a stylish and respectable man. Tino liked his mop of unkempt, yet still somewhat tidy, hair and buying expensive clothes with his current paycheck was out of the question. The internet was just no help whatsoever. Growing frustrated, Tino harshly stabbed his finger on the mouse pad and closed the webpage before getting up from the table. Come to think of it, Tino knew someone who was stylish and respectable without doing any of those things, and he just so happened to be living under the same roof.

The door to Lukas's bedroom creaked when Tino cracked it open slightly to check if he was still sleeping. He held his breath while Lukas shifted and turned over in his bed and snuggled in even more within the piles of blankets he liked to bury himself in. Although he was an early riser, Lukas was a very deep sleeper, and it took a lot to make him leave his bed before he was ready to. Sneaking into the room, Tino made his way over to Lukas's wardrobe and opened it up. Now, he knew fully well that he and Lukas had different body types and differed considerably in height, but there was bound to be something that fit.

Compared to Tino’s own, Lukas's wardrobe was very plain and a little bland but he always managed to look classy and stylish even when he was just lounging around the house. Starting on the left side of the clothes rail, Tino began to look through the sweaters and shirts that were all hung up neatly. The first few collared shirts on the rail were pressed, ironed, and hung up with a plastic covering. They were Lukas's favourite formal shirts, and Tino knew fully well that when Lukas woke and began to search for an outfit for the day he would notice right away if one were missing; and would no doubt be pretty pissed off about the fact that Tino had taken it, let alone worn it all day. Now that he was thinking about it, Tino did feel a little guilty about going through Lukas's belongings without his permission but he was only going to borrow an item or two. He'd take care of it and put it back tonight.

He was nearing the end of the rail now, and began to grow disheartened as none of the clothes that he had looked through sparked his interest until he came to the second to last piece of clothing. A long sleeved white shirt was hung neatly on a hanger with an acid-wash grey waist-coast hung over it. It looked pretty smart. Simple, yet classy and elegant. Perfect.

Glancing over his shoulder to make sure Lukas was definitely still asleep; Tino carefully took the shirt and waist-coat from the wardrobe and closed it. Happy with his findings, Tino then opened his own wardrobe and grabbed a fresh pair of boxers and some socks, a pair of black tailored trousers and his favourite black leather shoes. He spent a few moments debating whether or not to accessorise like he usually would with some pins or brooches to put on the waist-coat, or perhaps a hat or bracelet. In the end, he took out only a slim black tie and decided that he might as well go all the way if he wanted to change his look and get himself out of the habit of crazy accessories by not being tempted to wear any at all.

Satisfied, Tino crept back out of Lukas's bedroom and over to his bed in the middle of the living room. The clock now read 5:49am. Lukas would start to get up and have a shower in just over half an hour and Tino didn't really want Lukas to see him dressed in his clothes, but it was too early to set off for work. There were some café's that opened at 6am on the high street, so Tino decided that he would set off early and have breakfast out. Besides, it was quite refreshing to be up early. Perhaps he would even catch the sunrise!

Slipping off last nights underwear, Tino quickly changed into a clean pair and put on his trousers then sat down onto the bed. He took the shirt and waist-coat and removed them from the hanger, fiddling with the label on the inside collar of the shirt. He hadn't turned any lights on as to not wake Lukas or Emil and just relied on the light coming in through the gap in the curtains from the street lamps outside to see.

Squinting in the dim light, he noticed that the shirt was a size 39. In most cases Tino was a size 42, and before now it had never bothered him in the slightest. But the words of his boss were still buzzing around in his head. His heart sank in self-loathing when he looked down at himself. When he was sat down his gut spilled over the waistband of his trousers and lay thick in his lap. He didn't even want to think about the size of his thighs hidden beneath, or his – what the media of the 21st century liked to call – 'moobs'. He felt like a blimp. He hadn't always been this big; in fact, this was probably the biggest he'd ever got to. Sure, his diet wasn't as balanced as it could be, but he ate just the same amount of the things that Emil and Lukas did! Yet it was only him that seemed to be packing on the pounds. Okay so perhaps that wasn't entirely true, Tino did enjoy treating himself to a more than generous slab of chocolate every now and then; but just last night while they were watching a movie Lukas managed to polish off seven cookies whilst dipping them into his coffee and never seemed to pile on the pounds as a result. It wasn't fair.

It was no use dwelling on it though; from now on Tino was going to change. After slipping his socks and shoes onto his feet, Tino stood again and began to slide his arms into Lukas's shirt. It seemed to fit perfectly as he adjusted it over his shoulders, but of course that would be too good to be true. Once it was on he discovered that the sleeves were just an inch too long and got in the way as he fumbled to fasten the buttons. The shirt closed over his chest and fastened pretty effortlessly, though he did have to suck his stomach in just a bit when he got to the last three buttons. Now all that was left was the waist-coat to complete his new outfit. Tino faced a dilemma as he began to put it on; did it look better with the buttons open or closed?

For a few moments Tino stood and looked at his reflection in the living room window, standing at different angles and opening and closing the waist-coat. He noticed that the buttons on the white shirt were visibly straining over his stomach, but when he closed the waist-coat it fit snugly but with no tightness around the buttons, concealing the fact that the shirt was several sizes too small. Exhaling sharply in dissatisfaction, Tino opted to wearing the waist-coat closed. It would have to do.

For some reason, Tino thought that a new outfit that differed to what he would usually wear would change his feelings towards both himself and working at ICON for the better, but instead the tight and ill-fitting clothes made him feel even worse. Still, he was dressed and ready and there seemed no point in getting changed into different clothes now. Who knows, maybe once he arrived at work people would start to notice his new look and he'd impress Francis.

After brushing his teeth Tino glanced at his hair in the bathroom mirror. Remembering that the article he read said something about keeping a neat hairstyle, he began to play around with it; slicking it back off of his face instead of letting it hang by his eyes in loose bangs. His face was round with somewhat chubby cheeks and almost none existent jawline. Having all of his hair scraped back didn't help to hide that; in fact it made it more noticeable. Though the longer he looked, the less Tino was bothered by his baby face and was more pleased by how something as simple as a new hairstyle changed the way he looked completely. Taking his comb and wetting it under the running water, Tino brushed it through his hair to slick it back even more and keep it in place.

By the time Tino had finished getting ready to leave the time was nearly 6:30. Lukas would start to get up soon and the café Tino was planning on stopping by at had been open for half an hour already. Grabbing his keys and coat, Tino made his way to the door. As he locked it after stepping out into the small corridor just outside the apartment butterflies began to form in his stomach. The words of Francis Bonnefoy had affected Tino more than he liked to admit. In most cases Tino was tough when it came to insults and bad comments behind his back, but for some reason this time they really stung. He just really wanted this job to work out, it was a miracle that he'd managed to land himself a job at ICON in the first place, and nothing was going to ruin this opportunity. He'd just have to play it by the books, even if that meant pretending to be something he wasn't.

_______________________

"Good morning, Sir!"

The young girl behind the counter of The Coffee Pot café greeted Berwald cheerfully as he approached her, removing his woollen hat and stuffing it into his coat pocket. The Coffee Pot was only two blocks away from the Bonnefoy Publications and Berwald was a regular within the establishment, making sure to stop by every morning without fail for his piping hot cup of coffee while on his way to work. Berwald smiled at her – Maya, her name was. She was a pretty thing with olive skin and a mass of tight, dark curls stuffed rather comically under a baseball cap with the store's logo on the front.

"Call me Berwald, please." He said, leaning a little onto the counter. Maya had already begun preparing Berwald's coffee without even needing to ask what he was having. She had been serving him every morning for many years, since she first started working in the café for her parents in fact. When she was just starting out and getting used to how the café was run and how to brew coffee there were many times when she messed up Berwald's – and many other peoples – orders. But Berwald was never rude to her and slowly but surely the coffee began to taste better and better and her confidence grew with every cup she gave to him. Berwald liked to think that they were somewhat friends now and enjoyed her company in the mornings. She liked to chat with him as she brewed his beverage and seemed genuinely interested in his day to day life.

"Alright then, Berwald." Maya said, overly pronouncing his name and grinning as she did so. "You're early and alone this morning, where is he? Don't you usually treat him to a hot drink on Wednesdays?"

"Yeah. He had to go in early this mornin'. Got a big presentation."

"Oh? About what?"

Berwald laughed a little in embarrassment and rubbed at his neck, "To be honest, I dunno. He didn't tell me much about it. I suppose I should know these things."  
"Don't beat yourself up about it. It can't be that important if he didn't really mention it," Maya said as she slid Berwald's drink across the counter to him. "I might have to treat him to a hot chocolate on the house next week though. With extra cream and marshmallows to make up for today."

Usually Berwald liked to stay and chat for a little while longer while he drank his coffee, but ever since Mr Beilschmidt handed his company over to Francis Bonnefoy some weeks ago he had been pretty over-run with his work. He and Ludwig were on more than good terms since there had been a scare that Berwald would lose his job once Francis took over, but Ludwig made sure that he would still have a secure and permanent job within the company once he stepped down. Berwald would be forever grateful for that and made sure to continue to keep on doing his job to the best of his ability for Francis. To be honest, Berwald was so obsessed with making sure that he was the best that he could be at his career he tended to coop himself up in his workshop and not really interact much with any of his co-workers. He wanted to; he really did, but on top of working hard Berwald was always frightened of embarrassing himself or finding that he had nothing in common with anyone that he tried to make friends with. Working at a fashion magazine isn't really where his younger, product-design-student-self would expect to be over 10 years later, as he had zero interest whatsoever in the fashion world, but here he was regardless.

Noticing the time on Maya's cash register as he paid for his drink, Berwald decided that it was probably time he got going. The sky had darkened considerably and it looked like it was beginning to rain; plus he left his car parked in the street out front in a parking space reserved for delivery trucks only. A parking ticket is that last thing that he wanted to find himself stuck paying for. He thanked Maya for the coffee and put his hat back on as he made his way to the door. Courteously, while on his way out, Berwald held the door open for someone whilst they dashed into the shop and out of the rain that was beginning to fall. It wasn't until they were inside and turned to thank Berwald for holding the door did he realise who it was. Even though, much to his annoyance, Berwald was feeling anxiety creep up on him he stuttered out a greeting to his new co-worker as he passed him in the doorway.

"Mornin', Tino."

Looking quite flustered, Tino smiled up at Berwald and returned the greeting.

"Oh! Hi, Ber! I didn't think I'd run into you outside of work."

There was something about Tino that made Berwald feel content and comfortable when interacting with him. He couldn't put a finger on what it was, but Tino was…. well, real – in comparison to some of the people he worked with anyway. The way he presented himself was far from superficial and he seemed like the type of guy who would still talk try and talk to you even if you had a bucket on your head. It was refreshing.

p>"Was just grabbin' a coffee."

Unsure of what else to do, Berwald held up his drink as if Tino wouldn't believe him without some sort of proof of his purchase. Tino smiled a little at Berwald's awkwardness and began to slowly shift around him and out of the doorway.

"Me too. And trying to dodge the rain. Silly me came out this morning with only this flimsy coat and no umbrella!"

It's true, Tino didn't look at all like he was dressed for bad weather with just smart clothes on and nothing but a thin jacket to shield him from the rain. He fumbled around in his trouser pocket for his wallet before turning slightly away from Berwald and towards the counter, probably trying politely to signal that he wanted to end the conversation and buy himself some breakfast.

"So, I'll see you at work?"

Berwald often saw people that he worked with out of office hours and nearly always heard the same little sentence from them that Tino had just given him. But of course 'seeing' them at work is all that really happened and they ended up making no effort to converse with him; though this time when Tino said it, it almost sounded hopeful.  
When Tino had turned and began to look over the menu on the wall behind where Maya stood at the counter, Berwald still stood hesitantly in the doorway, much to the annoyance of some other customers who were starting to feel the cold, February air coming in from outside. Noticing the many eyes on him, Berwald closed the door, took a deep breath and went back over to the counter. Not wanting to disturb either Tino or Maya while an order was being placed, Berwald sort of hovered around Tino and waited for him to finish. He felt rather self-conscious when stood next to Tino, like a huge, gangly giant. The last thing Berwald would want to do was hurt Tino's feelings, but he couldn't help but compare just how… well, tiny, he was compared to everyone else. Without realising, Berwald began to stare, and it wasn't until Tino began to fidget and stammer words of nonsense under his gaze did he snap out of his thoughts.

"I didn't realise you were still here, Berwald! The door, it was- I…thought you left… out of it. Is there, uh, anything I can do for you?" Tino said, words falling out of his mouth.  
Deciding to just go ahead and bite the bullet, Berwald stuffed his hands harshly into his coat pockets and connected his gaze with a piece of gum that had been trodden into the floorboards.

"Since it's rainin', I was just wondering if ya wanted to ride with me- to work with me. In my car." Screwing his eyes shut, Berwald could've kicked himself for tripping over his own words. "Would ya like a ride to work?"

He was certain that when he opened his eyes Tino would be laughing at him, but instead he was fiddling with the plastic lid of his coffee cup, seemingly looking at everything else but Berwald. When his eyes finally met Berwald's, a small smile crept onto his face and his shoulders relaxed a little.

"Sure, why not. Thanks, Ber."

Berwald's face pretty much lit up. He wasn't someone who showed their emotions with large grins or firm pouts, but something about his current expression made Tino smile too. Screw what everyone else said behind his back, Berwald was lovely, and dare he say, quite charismatic, and Tino was quickly starting to see that with every encounter. In some ways, he was even slightly jealous of Berwald. He had a great job, and seemed to be society's perfect guy.

When that crossed his mind, it made Tino feel a little ashamed about taking a car to work. He really wanted to walk this morning, but the weather was getting worse by the minute and he'd no doubt be soaked to the skin when he finally got there; all efforts to improve his look, get slimmer and appear smart and fashionable would of course be ruined. Plus Berwald had been kind enough to offer him a lift, even though they were just little more than strangers. Acquaintances perhaps. Yes, acquaintances. Who was he to refuse a ride to work from a colleague?

Luckily, Berwald's car was parked right outside the coffee shop, and Tino quickly hopped in to escape the pouring rain. To say the least, he was shocked when he found himself surrounded by a very modern and immaculate interior. The car was equipped with leather seats, a luxury chrome dashboard and a ridiculous sound system. Tino sat stiffly in the seat, feeling guilty about getting it wet from his clothes and shoes that had been dampened by the rain.

The door to his left opened and Berwald quickly slid himself in and slammed the door closed.

"It's really comin' down out there now." He muttered, glancing quickly at Tino before fumbling in his coat pocket for his key. Once it was put into the ignition did Tino notice the single keychain hanging from it. It read 'Birchwood rental cars.'

"I can't get used to this car at all. Can't wait until I get my rusty ol' thing back on Monday." Berwald said aloud.

He struggled a little when trying to pull out of the parking space and into the fast moving traffic and kept running his tongue across his teeth in frustration. Finally someone stopped to let him out and off they went. It was now that Tino deemed it safe to make conversation with Berwald; he hated distracting drivers.

"So, this isn't your car then?"

Laughing a little, Berwald shook his head.

"No, my car's being serviced at the garage. I've been driving this one for about a week until mine's ready. It's nice an' all, and it's kinda nice to have people stare when I pull up at work an' get out of it, but it's not me, y'know?"

Tino just nodded in agreement, though he really didn't know what it was like to drive at all. He'd never sat behind the wheel of a car in his life.

"You're gonna laugh when you see my car after sittin' in this one. I love it though. Was the first and only car I've ever had." Berwald said, casting a quick glance at Tino.

Although Tino didn't care for cars very much, it was nice to see Berwald talk so enthusiastically about something. It was like when Lukas got talking about his favourite books, or Emil got excited over a new movie with his favourite actors in; Tino loved listening to people talk about the things that really made them tick. It was also nice that Berwald had assumed that Tino would see his car once he got it back, and that them meeting outside of work like this might not be a one off thing.

That enthusiasm came to an abrupt end though when Berwald pulled up behind a long line of traffic. By now they were only five or so minutes away from their workplace, but this pile up of cars didn't look like it was shifting any time soon.

"Looks like we're not the only ones who decided to drive to work in this weather, huh?" Tino sighed as he leaned to rest his head against the window. As he did so, he felt the collar of his shirt dig sharply into his neck. From the minute he sat down in Berwald's car, Lukas's shirt became very tight on him, and now it was almost becoming unbearable. Where each button fastened it felt like someone was poking their finger sharply into his stomach. He began to fidget, pinching at the fabric and trying to loosen it from being so tight. Berwald, noticing Tino squirming around in his seat, asked if he was alright.

"Yes, I'm fine, Ber. I just need to get out of this car soon. We're going to be late."

"It's only 7:20, Tino."

Not really knowing how else to respond, Tino just stared at Berwald before sighing loudly and turning to look out of the window.

__________________

Arthur Kirkland stopped pacing his office and turned to Francis, who was sat slumped in a chair, fingers pinching at the bridge of his nose. He slumped even more when his eyes caught sight of Arthur's scowl.

"I can't believe you're dumping this on me Francis. How do you expect me to entertain her on such short notice?"

"Arthur, be reasonable. We have our differences but who better to find a way to get something out fashion feature this that's actually worth publishing in our magazine?"

  
In a smug fashion, Mr Kirkland neatened his tie and held his head high at Francis's comment. "Well, I can't argue with that. I of all people am most capable. I'll charm the denim chaps and cowgirl boots right off her."

Francis said no more on the matter, he didn't need to after that reply, and simply rolled his eyes. Getting Arthur to take over a business dinner with American fashion designer Emily Jones was easier than he thought it was going to be. She was a very well-known designer, but only nationally. A lot of the fashion writers for Icon have had an eye on her for a while, and came to Francis and Arthur recently about securing an article with her. Her fashions seemed to be taking off slightly over seas, and so of course Icon had to be the first to feature her within its pages before anyone else, even despite Arthur's concerns.

While Arthur began to go off on a tangent, rambling on and on about how no one but he could change the ways of a Texan-American, Francis's attention was caught by none other than Tino entering the office, accompanied by Mr Oxenstierna. His heart lurched in his chest as he searched for a clock to give him any indication of the time. To his relief, and also confusion, the clock behind Arthurs desk read 7:40. Watching from inside the glass walls of Arthur's office, Mr Bonnefoy watched as they stopped by the intern desks. Why on earth was his assistant so early?

"Thanks for the lift, Berwald. I appreciate it. Sorry I was so touchy when we were stuck in traffic. I have a lot on my plate today. Well, not a real plate, I haven't eaten a thing this morning, but-"

Lifting a hand, Berwald stopped Tino before he could digress any more.

"I know what you mean. Gotta get to work now though. See ya."

Berwald took his leave and Timo hurried over to his desk. Before sitting down, he faltered and took a moment to look around the office. Thankfully, the only person who seemed to be here beside himself was Berwald, who of course was most definitely in his workshop by now. Quickly, before anyone could have a chance to see, Tino slid his hand under his fastened waist-coat and unbuttoned the last three buttons of his shirt. No doubt that there would be red marks from where the buttons were beginning to dig in so painfully, but no one could see them – or his unbuttoned shirt – from under the waist-coat. Relived that he could finally sit down comfortably, Tino took a seat at his desk and began to pull out all of his files and paperwork that needed to be sorted into Francis's binder.

Out of spite for his boss's actions and words yesterday, Tino thought about just how much he would love to mess up Francis's schedule and get his own back, but managed to stop himself before he could do anything stupid.

"Come on, Tino. You're not like that. You're better than him and you know it. Get it together." He began to give himself a little pep talk under his breath as he flipped through the pages of the binder when he felt the presence of someone behind him.

"Do you always talk to yourself?"

Spinning around in his chair, Tino was startled to find his face just inches from a very impressive cleavage. He jumped back as Christina stood back up from where she was previously leaning over Tino's shoulder.

"N-no, ma'am. I don't. Sorry, you caught me deep in thought." Tino flushed a little and averted his gaze, a little embarrassed about being caught scolding himself and very much hoping that she hadn't been here moments ago to witness him fishing around down his shirt.

"Ma'am? Damn, that sounded good, no one has called me that before. So what were you fighting with yourself about?"

Tino watched as Christina took a seat at her own desk a few paces away from his own and began to rummage through the contents of her handbag. In some ways, she could've easily been mistaken for one of the models here at Icon, very tall, slim and with a great figure, but her personality was nowhere near that of a super-model. She was down-to-earth and always seemed to be snacking on some sort of candy. Her curly hair was cut and styled in a pixie cut and she seemed to love wearing the colour red.

"Oh, I, um…" Tino started, turning back to his desk and began to flip through the pages of the binder once again.

"I just had a pretty bad day yesterday. Someone has really hurt my feelings and acted really nastily towards me. But I can't rise to it, I've gotta just try and ignore it if I can, y'know? I guess that's the catch that comes with working in an industry like this; the people that you work beside aren't the kindest of people." He continued, trying not to seem too bothered by what he was saying.

Christina stopped searching in her bag and put it down on the table, a look of concern crossing her face as Tino's voice began to tremble a little.

"Here? Someone has been an ass to you here? Who?" she quizzed Tino.

For a moment, Tino was hesitant whether or not he should explain to Christina what he over-heard Francis saying about him yesterday, but the more he thought about it, it didn't seem like a good idea. After all, he was eaves-dropping at the time it was said, and shouldn't have really been listening.

He shook his head, "It's nothing, forget I said anything. I guess I'm just a little stressed from this new job. I could really use another coffee."

In truth, he could really do with a little more than just liquid to satisfy his hunger, and his stomach was starting to protest. It groaned even at the thought of breakfast, so loud in fact that, much to Tino's absolute embarrassment, Christina heard it. "I think you need more than coffee. You need some breakfast."

Oddly though, she didn't laugh or mock him, instead she wheeled herself over to Tino's desk rather comically on her chair and stopped beside him. Leaning her elbows on the edge of the desk and placing her chin in her hands, she lowered her voice,

"Look. I'm not one to pry on someone's personal life, but are you handling things okay? I know it can be kinda stressful settling into the world of fashion, but… you gotta remember to take care of yourself. Image isn't everything. You might think it is right now, but when I first started here I had no one to give me advice on how to survive in this crazy, twisted place that is the fashion industry, and so I had to learn the hard way."

Tino didn't know if he should be upset or relieved by some of the things that Christina was saying, but he let her carry on. Glancing around the offices, Christina paused for a moment before returning her attention back to Tino.

"I feel awful saying this, like I'm getting way too up in your business, but all I want to say is that you have to eat and take care of your body and your mind. Although you may think that being supermodel skinny is the most important thing right now, it's really not. I'm glad that you've come to work with us, Tino. If you stick with us, you'll be just fine. I promise."

By the end of her little speech, she had Tino's hands firmly within her grasp and squeezed them gently, her eyes searching his, full of concern.

Although she may not seem to be at first glance, Christina was very motherly. True, she liked a good drink and a Saturday night wouldn't be right without a party of some sort, but she had a huge heart – too big for her own good really. She had worked at Icon for just over 3 years now, and had a very rocky start to her career in fashion. As head of 'The Closet', Christina was surrounded day and night with hundreds and hundreds of articles of size 0 clothing, whether getting them ready for models to wear for various shoots, mending the garments when they needed some TLC, or working with the Vargas brothers to design something from scratch. Long story short, the sub-conscious want and desire to be skinny enough to fit into the clothes she worked with caused her to diet. But then when dieting wasn't good enough, her appetite disappeared completely. Thankfully, after starting to get ill, Christina realised just how ridiculous she was acting, and no-one should have to live in such self-hatred over something as silly as the number on the label of the clothes you wore.

Now, after 3 years, Christina formed many bonds with colleagues from all over the company and found a balance between the fashion world and the real world.

  
Deep down, Tino knew exactly what she was saying was right, and for her to realise to quickly what troubles he was going through as a result of his new job goes to show just how many people she was friends with in the company suffered in the same way and felt awful in their own skin. As much as he wanted to push her away and ignore her advice, he knew that it wasn't the right thing to do.

"Well, I suppose a bagel would go nicely with that coffee…"

He gave her a small smile and in return a received a great big grin.

"You want a bagel, huh? I'm going to let you in on a little secret, but you can't tell anyone. You promise?"

Tino nodded as he got up from his desk, slamming Francis's binder closed and pushing it to one side. Mr Bonnefoy would have to wait his turn.  
Christina linked arms with Tino as she lead him through the offices and towards to elevator.

"Cafeteria bagels suck, no questions asked, they’re shit. There's a guy on the street just outside with a cart selling all sorts of yummy goods. Best bagel in town, I’m tellin’ ya."

  
Tino laughed at her enthusiasm as he stepped inside and caught sight of himself in the mirrored walls. Sure, he wasn't the slimmest ICON employee; instead he was going to be one of the happiest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short little chapter, but I just really love nyo Denmark and playing around with her character.
> 
> Love yourselves people. We all have flaws, but you're also beautiful in your own way. What's your best/favourite feature? Mine is my hands. I can grow my nails out quite nicely and I have long fingers.
> 
> Thanks for reading <3
> 
> -lumassen x


	6. Chapter 6 - Bad News

**Chapter Six –Bad news.**

"Emil, are you gonna come and watch me practice later?"

Leon said as he caught up with Emil in the corridor and slid his heavy gym bag containing his soccer kit and cleats further up his shoulder.

He was Emil's best friend, and the pair confided everything and anything with each other and had been friends since grade school. When Leon first enrolled as a student in Emil's class, when he was around 6 or 7, his English skills were practically non-existent, and instead he chattered away to his confused classmates in Cantonese for at least the first few weeks. Despite this, he still insisted on trying to play with Emil every day with use of broken English and the peace offering of letting him have the best toy car in the whole toy box during recess. After those few weeks, the pair grew inseparable and slowly but surely, after much perseverance on Emil's part, Leon's skills and confidence in English grew. Now, Leon was an A grade student in English Language & Literature and was considering taking it as a major once he left school for college. Emil however was completely undecided on what is college major would be, despite his longing to finally be free from high school.

Emil swatted Leon away as he swung his arm around his neck, making it difficult for him to walk down the school corridor. “Yawn. No thanks. It’s too cold to be sat outside on a wooden bench watching you run around on a muddy field.” He said, and Leon thumped him on the shoulder at his response.

“Fine, suit yourself. What are you gonna do in your free period then?” Leon chided. “You can’t live in the library forever like a little hermit lost in your little Emil world.”

As much as he didn’t want to hear it, Emil knew that Leon was right. Compared to his best friend who was on the soccer team, the swim team, and a member of the English lit club, Emil didn’t really have any hobbies or interests. Or at least interests that he wanted to share anyway. He liked to sing in the shower and dance around his room when he was home alone, but he could never bring himself to even think about joining any performing arts clubs. He’d tried to get into lacrosse but hated how competitive his team mates got and quit after one season, and he was not overly strong in any of his subjects like Leon was in English, and had average grades throughout all of his classes.  
Leon picked up on Emil’s reluctance to answer his question he changed the subject.

"If you wanna talk about something else, let's talk about that gig in a few weeks?" Excitedly, Leon rubbed his hands together and did a small dance on the spot.

  
Thankful for the change in conversation, Emil pushed his self-doubts to the back of his mind. "I keep asking Lukas if we can go, but he refuses to drive us there. You know what he's like about driving through the city in the daytime, there's no way he'll do it at midnight to come and pick us up. If only Tino could drive…"

Sighing, Emil stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked down at his feet as he turned to enter a classroom. He and Leon had been looking forward to a concert that was happening in town for months. When they had finally saved up enough money to buy the tickets they were let down by Lukas's refusal to drive them there. With public transport not running past 11pm, they would have no way to get home, and sadly, Lukas was the only person that the boys knew with a car. As annoying as it was, they should have known better to expect Lukas to be okay with their plan.

"Your Aunt Tino wouldn't just drive us there, he'd, like, come with us or something! He's cool, but it would be so embarrassing."

Emil looked at Leon and they both laughed, knowing exactly what the other was thinking. Even though it was highly likely that Tino would attend a rock concert, it was easy to imagine him making a complete fool of himself by getting way too over-excited.

"How's he doing at his new job by the way? It's been a week or so since he started, right?" Leon asked.

Removing his satchel from his shoulder and tossing it under his desk, Emil flopped down into his seat. They were a few minutes early for class and so Leon perched himself on the edge of Emil's desk.

"Yeah, he did, and I dunno really," he paused for a moment to refuse some gum that Leon offered him, "He hasn't spoken that much about it. I didn't see him this morning either, he'd already left before Lukas and I got up, it was really weird. I thought he'd be a bit more excited about it than he is; it's his dream job."

Emil finished with a shrug and Leon just sat quietly, swinging his legs and chewing rather messily on his gum. Emil watched him in silence, waiting for him to say something, but he didn't say anything and instead seemed to be just staring into space.

After a few moments, without taking his eyes from the blank classroom wall he was staring at, Leon muttered under his breath, "What's your dream job, Em? Where are you gonna go when this last year is over?"

It was then did he look over to Emil, an oddly wistful look in his usually mischievous eyes. Emil just stared back, a little surprised at how sincere his friend was about such a question. His eyes darted around the room for a moment and he swallowed thickly.

"I, uh… well, I don't know. I keep trying not to think about it, it's sort of scary. We're gonna go our separate ways and become adults without each other."  
Leon grinned and jumped down from off the desk, looking outraged at the idea of he and Emil growing apart.

"Not a chance, we'll grow old together, you and me."

Playfully, Emil stuck his foot out from under the desk and kicked Leon in the shin.

"You make it sound like you plan to marry me and take me away with you wherever it is that you plan on going when we graduate."

Leon's hair fell across his face as he looked down at the ground for a moment, hooking his thumb in the belt loop on his school trousers and leaning his weight onto his right leg. Then he shook his head and looked back up again, "Nah, I'm saving myself for Daenerys Targaryen. Sorry Em." In return for his small kick to the shin, when passing to go over to his own desk, Leon smacked Emil across the back of the head. Just before Leon was out of reach, Emil grabbed him by the arm as he passed and looked him dead in the eye.

"Leon, she’s dead. Carried off by her own dragon, so good luck with that.” He tried to stay serious and keep a straight face, but when Leon cracked into a smile Emil relaxed again, not liking seeing this solemnness in his usually carefree friend. “Come stay over at my house this weekend? It's been ages since you came over. Plus it's take-out night."

"Sure! I'll bring some video games?" Leon grinned and flipped his air out of his eyes with a jerk of his head.

"Duh." Came Emil's response with the slightest roll of his eyes.

Emil watched Leon as he sat down, a small smile on his lips, but once he turned to face the front of the class, his face out of Leon's sight, it soon slipped away. All this talk of exams, graduation and the future, made Emil feel anxious and upset and just want to slip under his desk, curl up into a ball and never come out. So many people kept talking about how 80% of high school friendships never last once you graduate, and the thought of slowly losing all of his friends played on his mind.  
______________________

Lukas's hand was frozen in place, hovering over his mobile phone that began to flash and vibrate loudly on the counter " _Incoming call: Mathias"_ displayed on the screen.

The bookshop was completely empty and so he had no reason not to answer other than that his gut was telling him not to. He watched as the phone continued to ring and stared at the blank background under Mathias's name. When Tino or Emil called, their faces lit up on the screen from the pictures of them that Lukas had set to their caller ID. Now, it was empty; a stranger was calling.

There was something about the whole situation that just didn't seem right. A stranger is all that Mathias was, and it seemed a little odd for him to show so much enthusiasm in Lukas, who was also a complete stranger. Not to mention the fact that it was a very bold move on Mathias's part! Although society was getting better year after year with its tolerance to the idea of same sex relationships, it was still very odd for someone to be so open about their sexuality, let alone to assume what someone else's was and for a male to flirt so openly with another.

Lukas didn’t have much dating experience, it was always Tino bringing people back to their shared room in college, and Lukas had only ever been with women. Dating nowadays isn't what it used to be where most people hooked up in bars, café's at some form of education establishment, or through friends of friends. Now it was all dating sites and social media which added to Lukas's suspicions even more. His path had never crossed with Mathias's, and they were barely even acquaintances. The more he thought about it, Lukas decided that this was bound to be a prank of some kind. Mathias was probably sat with a bunch of his friends laughing and waiting for him to pick up the phone. Tapping his finger on the screen of his phone, Lukas dismissed the call and sent it to voicemail then slid it away across the counter as far away from him as possible.

Deciding to take his mind off his strange admirer, Lukas rolled up his sleeves, picked up his roll of price tags and notebook and headed towards the non-fiction section of his store to do some inventory. The store was completely dead and so Lukas didn't have to worry about getting in the way of customers while doing the inventory. Sadly, over the last few years Lukas's bookshop business hadn't been doing so well. He blamed it on the introduction of the kindle and the opening of the new bookstore in the shopping centre that was part of a large company chain. He began to bite anxiously on his bottom lip as he thought about this, noticing the thin layer of dust that had begun to settle on the shelves. He would soon be nearing bankruptcy if the shop didn't pick up business again soon, he would be forced to close the shop and take a job as a cleaner or grocery store checkout operator; and neither of those appealed to him in the slightest.

As he took the first book from the shelf, his phone began to ring again. Closing his eyes for a moment and leaning his forehead against the bookshelf, Lukas sighed in frustration; what had he gotten himself into? Marching back over to his phone, he snatched up from the front desk and glanced once again at the screen, getting ready to answer and promptly tell Mathias to leave him alone, though this time his heart seemed to skip a beat when he caught sight of the caller ID to see that it wasn't Mathias calling.

  
Once again, the screen was blank, empty, with no face smiling at him, but this time it read _'Dad_ '.

___________

"Mish, you'll never guess who I just saw down in the lobby!"

Matthew came hurrying down the small corridor from the elevators that lead to the front desk. He had just arrived at work and was struggling to get his arms out of his jacket as he approached Michelle, glasses slightly askew and his ear buds still in his ears.

"Honey, you're shouting."

Michelle motioned to Matthew to take his ear buds out by pointing at her own ears.

Sheepishly, he took out his earbuds, wrapped them around his iPod and put it away into his trouser pocket, cheeks getting pinker by the second.

The relationship between Matthew and Michelle was deemed uncanny by many of their colleagues, but the two were like peas in a pod. Their interests were completely different, not to mention their personalities, but in the long run those differences gave them so much more to talk about with each other and sometimes introduced them to an unknown similar interest. For a seemingly shy and quiet young man, Matthew was pretty open and talkative when around his close friends.

"Sorry, but I couldn't believe it. Go on, try and guess."

Walking around the reception desk, Matthew seated himself in one of the vacant chairs, sitting right on its edge with one leg crossed over the other, looking at Michelle expectantly.

Cupping her chin in her hand, Michelle hummed to herself a little over-enthusiastically for a few moments.

"Oh I don't know, Kim Kardashian? The Queen of England?" She said, coyly.

Matthews's excited expression pretty much melted from his face into one of annoyance.

"…No."

"Okay, sorry," Michelle laughed, "Go on, who was it?"

"Lucille Marcon!"

Excitedly, Matthew clung to Michelle's arm and waited for her reaction. Much to his dismay, it was just a raised eyebrow and a look of confusion.  
He sighed and began to explain to Michelle who Lucille Marcon was. She was a French bestselling author who wrote popular fantasy novels. A few of them had been made into movies, She was quite famous as a result, and Icon were doing a feature on her.

While they were talking, Tino approached the front desk and dropped a stack of letters into the outbox. As he thumbed through the inbox looking for anything address to Francis, he couldn’t help but overhear Matthew and Michelle.

“Are you talking about the shoot that’s coming up in a few weeks for that writer?” he asked.

Matthew spun around in his chair and Tino leaned on the desk.

"Yes! Do you read her work?" Matthew said.

Tino shook his head, "No, but I think my friend does. He owns a bookstore and sells a lot of her novels. I think he actually has a small section dedicated to her work. He'll be so jealous when I tell him that you saw her-"

"I'm sorry to interrupt your little nerd session, but Tino, you should get to work. Your phone is ringing…"

Michelle casually leaned across the front desk and gave Tino a small shove away from the desk, lips pursed and a cold, blank expression on her face. Ever since the day that Tino first met her and she seemed pissed off at him for getting his job while having no previous experience, she had been rather closed off towards him, almost like she was jealous. Tino couldn't even begin to imagine why, but it made him feel extremely guilty. Nonetheless, he was proud of his job and his position, and as much as he felt bad he wouldn't be put off by a silly, jealous girl. He was feeling a little better about himself after his talk with Christina the day before, and didn’t want to feel inferior to not only Francis but Michelle as well.

Tino sighed wistfully, smiled and fluttered his eyelashes at her, leaning back onto the counter. "You're right. It's probably yet another important call for me to deal with."  
Deciding to bite back at Michelle's attitude toward him, he added a little salt into her wound with that comment, hoping to stir some kind of reaction. If she wanted to play as a brat, then two could play at that game. Sure, it was a little childish, but she started it.

Turning swiftly on his heel, Tino turned his back to Michelle and Matthew and made his way over to his desk. Matthew looked rather stunned and watched as Michelle angrily shook her head and muttered.

"I really don't like him. Who does he think he is? If anyone knows Francis better than me in this entire building then I'll…” she paused, “I don’t know, dye my hair green or something. That position should've been mine."

*

Sitting down at his desk, Tino took a deep breath and cleared his throat before reaching for the office phone. He straightened up, put the receiver to his ear, and in his best 'phone voice' said: "Good morning, you've reached ICON Magazine, Francis's office, Tino speaking. How can I help?"  
The proud feeling that began to well in Tino's stomach at that very professionally executed greeting began to quickly turn into what felt like a rock being thrown into his gut when the person on the other end of the line began to speak.

"I'd like to speak with Francis directly. It's typical of him to have his little servant’s do all of his dirty work for him, huh?"  
The woman's voice was beginning to crack as she angrily spoke down the phone to Tino.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but Mr Bonnefoy is busy discussing something in his office with a client. Is there no way that I can help you today? I could pass a message on to him if you'd like?" he said, beginning to anticipate where this call might be heading and fiddled with a stray paper clip on the desk, trying his best to remain professional.

  
The woman sighed and was silent for what felt like at least half a minute. Tino could hear her shuffling around and sniffling on the other end of the receiver. Patiently, he waited for her to speak again, and when she did, it was quite obvious that she was crying.

"He isn't answering my calls or texts so I didn't know what else to do. I know that this is his office number and I shouldn't have called, but I was just so mad."

Tino was quiet for a moment, trying to work out how on earth to respond to this.

  
"Is everything alright?" he said eventually and lowered his voice.

Up until now, every call that Tino had dealt with was either from within the company, such as one of the designers trying to reach Francis to discuss something, or a call from advertising companies, suppliers or other things to do with the running and publishing of ICON. Obviously, this woman was calling for a much more personal matter, and so Tino decided that he could lower the professionalism just a little.

"If you'd rather leave a message or call back at a different time I would be happy to arrange that, but may I ask what the reason that you're calling is? You're obviously very upset and distressed and I'd like to help."

The woman laughed. "How Francis has someone so nice working for him is beyond me. Well, my name is Grace and I was dating Francis for a few months. An hour ago I saw an article in Glamour Magazine with a picture of Francis on a date with one of the featured fashion designers! I mean, I guess it could've just been for publicity, but he should've told me first…" she trailed off.

As sad as it was, Tino knew very well that it probably wasn't just a publicity stunt, and in just the two weeks that he had worked for ICON he had sent flowers and gifts to several girls upon Francis's request. Grace was probably just one of many. Glancing over at Francis's office just opposite where Tino was sitting, he could see that he was laughing and joking and clearly flirting with two models.

One thing that Tino couldn't stand was people being unfaithful to their partners. There was nothing wrong with wanting to try new things with several different people, but don't commit to someone in particular seriously while doing it! He'd had his fair share of people cheating on him and even experienced this only too recently before Marcus actually broke up with him, so knew exactly how Grace must be feeling. He couldn’t imagine it being any easier either, especially as she discovered she was being cheated on while flipping through the pages of a magazine that was read worldwide.

Tino’s mind was now buzzing with anger, as he also knew what it felt like to be humiliated by Francis. Tossing the paper clip that was in his hand to the ground, Tino decided that Francis needed a taste of his own medicine.

"Alright, Grace. I think I can help you here. As much as it pains me to say this, you aren't the first person to feel humiliated and hurt by Francis. I'm in no position to tell you what to do and who to date, but I know for a fact that Francis isn't worth your time and doesn't deserve you. And you're going to tell him that. If you'd please hold the line for a few moments, I will transfer you to Francis. Thank you for calling ICON."

Without so much as a second thought, Tino pressed a button on the office phone and sent Grace through to Francis's office before standing up and marching straight towards the office door. Francis mustn't have seen him coming as he just carried on his conversation. Through the glass walls of his office, Tino watched as Francis laughed and joked around with the two models that he was supposed to be discussing important details with about a very expensive photo shoot. Instead he was simply lounging in his office chair and chatting away as if he were in a coffee shop. Pushing his hair back behind his ear and straightening his tie, Tino pushed the door open and walked right in, stopping in the doorway.

"Francis, your girlfriend is on line one. She needs to speak with you."

The two girls stopped talking and turned around in confusion, one looking slightly outraged and embarrassed with the mention of Francis having a girlfriend. The man in question was sat behind his desk with his mouth hung open slightly looking very much like a deer caught in headlights. Stuttering an apology, Francis fumbled to pick up the phone on his desk and ushered for the two models to leave the room; all while glaring at Tino who still stood in the doorway, an innocent smile on his face. Satisfied with the reaction, Tino turned to exit the room and took a seat back at his desk and leave Francis to receive an earful of what he damn well deserved to hear from Grace.

"What are you looking all smug about?"

It was now just past 10 o'clock and Christina had just arrived back at her desk from a meeting. She was sat at her desk applying her lipstick in the reflection of her computer screen when Tino entered their little office area. Though applying it seemed to be very much in vain, as when she took a sip from her cup of coffee just moments later, the majority of it smudged all over the rim of the mug. Noticing it, she muttered to herself under her breath and tossed the lipstick back into her bag.

"Oh, nothing. I shouldn't have done it really, but someone had to."

Confused, Christina looked over at Tino, but before she could say anything more she was interrupted by the loud slam of the door to Francis's office. Instantly, Tino knew he was in trouble. As much as his stomach began to churn, he knew deep down that he did the right thing.

"Tino! That was very rude and unprofessional! I was in a meeting!"

Francis was now looming over him as he sat at his desk, but he refused to feel intimidated. He kept his cool and took his attention away from his computer screen, looking Francis in the eye.

"It didn't look like a meeting to me. If it was, then that wasn't very professional either."

"What wasn't professional?"

"Flirting with colleagues. Even more so when you have two potential girlfriends? Grace, and whoever that was you were seen on a date with in Glamour Magazine."

Growing frustrated with Tino's back-chat, Francis began to tap his foot in irritation and took a moment to calm down, looking past Tino and fixing his eyes on a blank wall.

"Tino. You're employed to deal with business and things related to the magazine, not to medal with my personal matters and humiliate me."

"Humiliate you!? In case you'd forgotten, just yesterday you tried to get me to quit my job from pure embarrassment, what happened just then was far from humiliation. And if you don't want me involved with your personal business then next time you want to send flowers and chocolate to your next one-night-stand then, don't ask me to do it!"  
Taken aback by Tino's raised voice and last remark, Francis visibly stiffened.

Though he knew that he would just be digging himself into a deeper hole, Tino wasn't yet finished with what he had to say to Francis, and while he was already in trouble and couldn't possibly get any worse; it was now or never.

"The reason that I applied for a job within your publications is because you were my idol. I wanted to be just like you, successful with a brilliant career and an amazing company behind you. But now that I'm here and sat in front of you, I see that you're nothing more than a bully who steps all over people to get where he is. Now, I want to be nothing like you. You need to start treating people around you with more respect, or soon people will start to follow my example and see you for the nasty man that you really are. I don't care if this costs me my job, I don't want to be working with a man who looks down at me, or who calls me names behind my back."

By the end of his little speech, Tino was red in the face. Christina was frozen in place, staring at Tino from behind Francis and shaking her head in disbelief.

He already knew that he was more than fired, so Tino took the initiative and began to stand up and gather his things. Neither he nor Francis said a word as he fumbled to shove all of his belongings into his satchel and put it on over his shoulder. Once Tino had regained a little bit of composure, he turned to Francis once again and took a few steps towards him. Once he was stood up and in the centre of the office did he now notice that quite a crowd of onlookers had gathered, watching the whole scene.

As much as Tino had dreamed of getting a job like this, he hadn't ever dreamed of it actually turning out to be like it was. In reality, the fashion world was much more competitive and tainted than it was made out to be, and fashion wasn't really an ideal career choice for Tino. His head was spinning with anxiety and he began to wonder why he even wanted to become an editor in the first place. Not knowing what else to say, Tino waited for Francis to say something. When he still said nothing and an awkward silence hung thick in the air, Tino decided that it was best if he just left.

To his surprise, he didn't feel as sad as he thought he would when he turned to leave and faced the crowd of onlookers that had gathered from all parts of the office. Instead, he felt a little proud. Considering how Francis had made him feel the previous day, he almost felt that he had done his feelings justice. As much as he thought that he would like to pursue a career at ICON and go on to become an editor, now he wasn't so sure.

As he walked towards the elevators, he didn't dare catch anyone's eye for fear of any further embarrassment or argument, it would be better to leave without breathing another word. Sure, it might not be the post polite way to quit, and he would of course miss some of the people he had come to know over the past few weeks, such as Christina, Elizabeta, Eduard and Berwald, but right now he needed to go home to his friends - his family, and mull everything over before he did anything stupid. Keeping his gaze firmly to the ground Tino tried not to listen to the whispers as he passed group after group of people and eventually found his way to the elevators. The wait for the doors to open after pressing the button was excruciating, and currently Tino wanted nothing more than to run away from the publications and never look back.

Of course, he was probably over-reacting just a little, but with having no previous experience working for any sort of company or firm, he was just a baby in the eyes of his colleagues, and landing himself a position in a company of this size with such high demands and expectations was probably enough to make anyone uneasy and unsettled – and that was without the shit he had taken from his boss added into the mix. No, he was right to be re-considering whether he wanted this job or not, and would e-mail his resignation to Francis if it ended up coming to that. Besides, Michelle could now have the job that she apparently desired so much for god knows what reason. Why she was so desperate to work for Francis completely baffled Tino.

Finally, the elevator doors opened and Tino stepped inside. Instead of turning to face the doors and wait for them to close, he continued to stand with his back to the offices and pulled his mobile phone out of his pocket and began to compose a text message to Lukas informing him that he would be home early.  
Francis, after watching Tino make his leave, began to usher everyone back to their work stations, still stood by Tino's desk, rubbing at his chin with his thumb a little exasperatedly.

"You need him more than you think, y'know."

Turning around, Francis found Christina stood with a look of utter disappointment upon her face and arms folded firmly across her chest. He chose not to even respond to her and instead retreated back to his office without a single word.

____________

Upon arriving home, Tino was confused to find that the front door to Lukas's bookshop was firmly closed and locked with the 'closed' sign hung up. Only Lukas had the key to the ground floor of the building where the shop was, and so Tino would have to walk all the way around and use the back entrance. It wasn't like Lukas at all to be closed on a weekday. If he wasn't able to man the cash register for any reason, he still left the door unlocked and put a sign on the counter that he would be back in 10 minutes; he never closed up completely like this.

Sighing, Tino fished around in his satchel for his keys and began to walk around the back of the building. Their apartment was easiest to get to by walking through the shop and heading off into the back room where there was a flight of stairs leading to the balcony on the top floor and their official front door, and so the back entrance was rarely used. Tino hated the back of the store a lot. The back door was situated in an alleyway where all the garbage bins were kept for the whole row of shops and houses on the street. Luckily, Lukas's shop was right on the end on the corner, so Tino didn't have to wade through all of the garbage and mess that littered the path.

Unlocking and heaving open the heavy door, Tino stepped inside and kicked off his shoes. Once inside he was greeted by the familiar little room to the very back of the shop where Lukas kept all of his extra stock, and the stairs that lead up to their home were just to the right of him. Piles and piles of book lined all four walls, as well as several card board boxes filled with little nick-knacks like pens, notebooks, cute little hand puppets and craft kits. As much as he didn't like to admit it, Lukas loved interacting with and entertaining children, and often held small craft afternoons in the kids section of his store once a week. Sadly though, as recent weeks went by, less and less children had been coming to the events as his regular customers were growing up now into teens, and no-one new seemed to be coming in. The puppets had a visible layer of thick dust on top of them, and the craft kits boxes were beginning to look a little dog-eared and worse for wear.

As he made his way upstairs, Tino called out to Lukas in case he was only up there to make some dinner for himself, or to grab something for the shop and left the front door open so that he could hear him coming home, but there was no response and when Tino reached the top of the stairs he found the front door closed and all of the blinds and curtains had been drawn. A knot began to form in Tino's stomach; Lukas was acting very strange.

Pushing down on the door handle, he found that the front door was locked too. Growing a little panicked and frustrated, Tino reached into his bag once again for his keys and fumbled to unlock the door.

"Lukas?"

Cracking the door open, Tino called out once again. The apartment was dark as all the lights were turned off apart from the one in the kitchen down the hall, and all the curtains were closed. Setting his bag and coat down on the hooks by the door, Tino wandered further into the apartment and began opening all of the curtains and flicking on the living room lamps to let some light into the… smoky room? Frowning at the unmistakable smell of tobacco and smoke, Tino marched into the kitchen area to find Lukas sat at the table, slumped in his chair with a mug of coffee in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

Lukas looked up, almost startled, when Tino walked into the room, sitting up abruptly and spilling coffee all over his lap.

"Shit." He muttered as he grabbed a napkin and began to try to mop it up. Putting his cigarette in his mouth to free his other hand, he began to stand up to get some more paper towels.

"What're you doin' back here so early? Where were you this mornin'?" Lukas mumbled, not making eye contact with Tino.

"I should be asking you the questions here! You're smoking?! You promised me that you'd given up!"

Tino yelled, snatching the ash tray from the table and thrusting it in Lukas's face, waving it under his nose as a signal to put his cigarette out.  
With his head still lowered, Lukas looked up at Tino through his hair that had fallen over his face and sighed before taking his cigarette out of his mouth and stubbing it out in the ash tray.

"There, happy now?"

"Yes. Very."

Tossing the ash tray and discarded cigarette onto the kitchen table, Tino still stood in front of Lukas, brows furrowed and hands firmly on his hips. Lukas began to wiggle himself out of his coffee stained jeans and kicked them off, then straightened up and pushed his hair out of his face. Once his face was visible, it was clear that he had been crying. In all honesty, he looked a mess stood there in his shirt and underwear, red circles around his eyes surrounded by the thick smell of cigarette smoke. Tino relaxed his face and let his arms drop by his sides. Although he was mad at Lukas for smoking again and shutting himself away up here, clearly something was distressing him, and he had a reason for his actions. Motioning for Lukas to follow him into the living room, Tino flopped down onto the couch and Lukas gingerly took a seat next to him.

There was a long silence while Lukas just sat and stared at the floor, taking deep breaths and trying to calm himself down a little. Then, he turned to Tino and sighed.

"My dad is coming to stay with us for a while."


	7. Chapter 7 - The Son

**Chapter 7 – The Son**

To say that Lukas's mood was extremely sour would still be an understatement. Tino, chin resting in the palm of his hand, watched out of the window as pools of orange light from the streetlamps grew and fell along the sidewalk as the car passed along. He had his back fully turned on Lukas and instead was watching him in the reflection in the car window. The blue glow of the digital clock on the dashboard that read 5:57am cast faint shadows on Lukas’s face as he kept his eyes fixed on the road. Not once had he looked over in the direction of the passenger side or it’s occupant since getting in the car.

Tino sighed and slumped even more in his seat. Last night they ended up having the biggest argument that Tino could remember ever having with anyone. His stomach was churning with guilt and the awkward silence that lingered in the small car was beginning to grow unbearable. Neither Tino or Lukas had said more than five words to each other since their argument, and yet Tino didn’t have the heart not to follow up Lukas's request for him to accompany him while he picked up his father from the airport; and Lukas didn't throw Tino out of the car or wake Emil to come with him instead so it was clear that all friendship between them hadn't been broken.

Lukas, who was chewing the inside of his cheek and lightly tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, just needed time and space to calm down, Tino knew this very well, but with the stress of the arrival of his Dad weighing him down time and space would be non-existent for a while. Tino would just have to wait and just silently stand beside his friend when he needed him.

Their argument started when Lukas began questioning why he was home so early and why he had all of his things stuffed into his satchel.

\---

_"Tino d'ya not think about anyone but yourself? I've been struggling to pay these bills for months but I've stuck it out so that you could work at getting into your dream career. I didn't want ya stuck in a grocery store just for the sake of having a job and an income, but fuckin' hell I can't manage on my own for much longer! You've finally landed an amazing job with a good wage and you've blown it cause you didn't like your boss?!"_

_Lukas yelled from the bathroom as he dragged a brush through his hair. He'd gone to change into fresh clothes while Tino made a big deal of opening all the curtains and windows, coughing dramatically at the smell of the smoke for added effect. Fed up of shouting to and fro to Lukas in the bathroom Tino came flying out of the living room, stormed down the hall and stopped in the bathroom doorway, glaring at Lukas's reflection in the mirror that he was looking in._

_“I just-“ He stood there stuttering and flapping in rage, trying to get his words out and think of what to say in response for a few moments until he sighed heavily and yelled back,_

_"It's... Well maybe if you had a real job and just gave up on your stupid bankrupt bookshop already then we wouldn’t be in this financial mess! You're nearly 30 Lukas and you have nothing to show for it!"_

_Lukas froze and stared back at Tino through the mirror, but Tino carried on,_

_"It's not because I don't like my boss, it's because he's an asshole! If you were treated the way I've been I would understand and respect your decision, you should be doin' that with me! It's not all about money, but even if it was I shouldn't be the only one relied on to bring it into the household while you sit around all day making pennies between selling second hand things on eBay and blowing cobwebs from the shelves downstairs, what kinda life is that?" Tino finished, his voice beginning to crack a little._

_Lukas scoffed and slammed the brush down onto the back of the sink, looking over his shoulder to meet Tino's gaze._

_"Ha, that's rich coming from someone who has leeched off me for the past 5 years! When's the last time you paid the electricity bill? I- sure, yeah, you buy food sometimes and cook dinner but just so you can stuff your own face!”_

_Lukas’s cheeks were beginning to turn red in anger as he carried on, “After letting you live here on a pretty much rent free basis it's about time you started to pay-"_

_"And with what money would I have paid the electricity bill with?!" Tino interrupted, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He was now shouting loud enough that his throat began to rasp._

_"Unlike you I actually finished college and up until last year I was studying for my degree! What were you doing Lukas?!"_

_Leaning his weight on one leg Tino folded his arms and threw his head back, staring at Lukas through narrowed eyes waiting for him to answer back, but when he didn't he knew he'd gone too far._

_Tears visibly prickled in the corner of Lukas's eyes as he flipped his hair out of the way of his face with a small jerk of his head. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again before just shaking his head slowly and closing his eyes for a moment, finally breaking the piercing stare he had had on Tino for the past few minutes. Still with his arms folded, Tino began to fidget knowing that he had really hurt Lukas and it was too late to take back what he said even if he wanted to, but in the moment he was still mad with him and was in no mood to apologise._

_"Fuck you." Pushing past Tino in the doorway, Lukas went into his room and slammed the door closed leaving Tino alone in the bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror from across the room still dressed in Lukas's shirt and waistcoat._

\------

Closing his eyes momentarily, Tino thought back to last night and saw Lukas’s tearful face in his mind. He never wanted anyone to look at him like that again on account of something he had said. Of course, he didn’t mean everything he said from a place of malice, some was out of genuine concern for Lukas who seemed to have no life of his own outside of their apartment, and sometimes it infuriated him to think that his best friend was wasting his life. Not that he was doing it on purpose; Lukas was simply proving for his brother but at the same time neglecting himself and his path in life. Glancing over at Lukas properly, not through the reflection of the car window, Tino couldn’t help but wonder why Lukas was even offering to entertain his Dad, who was more or less responsible for the way that Lukas’s life had ended up.

A car that was now coming up at great speed against Lukas' in the next lane caught Tino's attention and brought him out of his thoughts. He kept his eye on it, watching as it was weaving about the road coming dangerously close to them before the driver put his foot down and accelerated and suddenly pulled over into their lane, right in front of Lukas car just inches from the bonnet.

"Shit!" Slamming both a foot on the brakes and his hand on the horn Lukas had to swerve out of the way as the car in front sped right across all three lanes and into the lane leading to the slip road off the motorway. Tino sat upright in his seat and stuck his middle finger up to the window in the direction of the car.

"You dickhead don't pull in front last minute we're trying to drive here!" he yelled.

Obviously the car couldn't hear him, but Tino still thought it necessary. He glanced over at Lukas to find he was already looking at him.

"You okay, Lu?"

"Yeah. Fine. Just a stupid driver realisin' he was about to miss his turn off probably. Thanks."

Lukas sighed and quickly cast his gaze back onto the road, pulling his shoulders back and shifting in his seat. The drive from their house to the airport was quite long and took just over an hour when the roads were dead at this time in the morning, and could easily take up to two during the day with traffic build ups. Tino knew how much anxiety Lukas got when driving on motorways and in cities and so he didn't want to distract him when driving, but now the silence between them had been broken he wanted to clear the air. Taking in a deep breath, Tino turned once again to Lukas ready to say something, but Lukas brought up a hand to flick on the indicator and began to take the car off the motorway and up the next slip road.

"Gonna pull in at the service station, I need a piss and some coffee."

Tino just nodded and cast his gaze back out of the window.

\-----

The sun was now starting to rise, casting long shadows onto the asphalt of the service station car park. With a watery Styrofoam cup of coffee each between their hands, Lukas and Tino had talked for nearly half an hour. Tino had apologised numerous times for his behaviour during their argument, even though Lukas had more than forgiven him the first time. Despite this, Lukas didn’t bring up much about what Tino had said to him about his failing bookshop.

Neither of them could stomach breakfast, and so they had just gone into the service station, used the bathroom, grabbed their coffees from a grubby self-serve machine and returned back to Lukas’s old Fiat. Lukas was sat with one foot pulled up onto the driver’s seat and his knee hugged toward his chest. A more comfortable silence had now settled around them, and Lukas looked down into his cup, swilling the last dregs of coffee around in the bottom, then, glancing at Tino through a gap in his hair that fell over his face he let a smile creep across his lips. Tino caught his eye and broke into laughter.

“I know what you’re thinking, how did two coffee snobs just drink that stuff?” Tino said.

Lukas chuckled as he sat up in his seat and turned the key in the ignition, the engine rumbling to life.

“Trust me, weirder things are probably just around the corner.” He replied as he brought the car to a stop by a bin in the car park and Tino rolled down the passenger window and tossed the coffee cups in.

“Well, I’ll be beside you the whole time.” Tino said turning to Lukas, his expression absolute. Lukas nodded and tucked his blonde hair behind his ears and took a deep breath before gripping the steering wheel and guiding them back onto the motorway.

\-------------

When Emil heard the muffled sound of Lukas’s car crunching across the gravel drive below his bedroom window he quickly turned off his PlayStation without even bothering to save his progress and scrambled back under his duvet. He’d not slept well after diffusing the argument between Tino and his brother which lead to an awkward evening full of tension between those who were supposed to be the responsible adults of the house. Emil had eaten dinner in his room and talked to Leon over facetime instead of eating at the dining table in silence and went to sleep without taking his dishes into the kitchen or saying goodnight. This morning he had woken at the sound of Tino and Lukas shuffling around the apartment this before they left and hadn’t been able to fall back to sleep.

Should he pretend to be asleep? Peering out from under the duvet, he looked at the clock on his nightstand. It was a few minutes past eight. With any luck, Lukas wouldn’t come and wake him up until 8:20am as he usually did for school. Emil could take his time getting ready before Leon’s mum came to pick him up and wouldn’t have to speak to his Dad. During their facetime, Leon had arranged for Emil to be picked up on the way as Lukas wouldn’t be able to give him a lift. Lying curled up under the covers with just his face peering out from underneath he looked around his room, ears pricking at the slightest sound until he heard the jangle of keys in the front door and closed his eyes.

Treading softly, Lukas opened the door and stepped inside, followed by Tino and his Dad.

“Hvor skal jeg legge veskene mine?” Lars asked in Norwegian as he pushed past Lukas and Tino and strode into the living room. He looked around at the colourful walls and the various paintings and pictures of faeries and trolls that were hung haphazardly along them with an expression of distaste. Tino noticed that Lars hadn’t taken his shoes off at the door like he and Lukas had done and so breaking the number one house rule, but Lukas didn’t seem to notice at all.

“You can put your bags in the corner over there next to the couch, that’s where you’ll be sleeping.” Lukas replied to his Father’s question about where to put his bags in English, as he had been doing the ever since Lars had greeted him at the airport, and pointed to the space between the couch and the far wall. During the drive back home, Lukas had been making small talk with Lars, but Tino had only caught half of the conversation as Lars spoke in Norwegian and Lukas replied in English. It was clear where Lukas got his stubborn nature from as no matter how many times Lukas asked him to speak English for the sake of Tino and not to be rude, Lars continued anyway in Norwegian.

Lukas’s Dad didn’t look how Tino had expected him to at all. He was quite short with dark wavy hair streaked with grey. He had a stubbly 5 o’clock shadow, a hollow face and smelt of strong and overpowering cologne. What was striking though, Tino thought, is that if he tidied himself up he would look just like Emil in his features; or rather Emil would look like him.

Lars dropped his things and took off his jacket, slinging it on top of the pile of bags and completely ignoring the coat stand by the front door. Tino fidgeted by Lukas’s side as he sighed and tossed his car keys into the glass dish on the sideboard.

“I’ll go and start the coffee machine if, uh, you guys want any?” Tino said as he squeezed around Lukas in the small hallway and backed towards the arch of the kitchen-diner.

When Lukas shook his head and Lars didn’t respond at all, Tino took this as his que to give the father and son a bit of time to adjust to seeing one another after so many years. He busied himself with replacing the coffee filters and then began re-organising the mugs in the cupboard while he waited for the coffee to brew, humming quietly to himself to try and stop him from straining to listen to what Lukas and Lars were saying, but he was too nosey for his own good.

The muffled voices that came from the living room were once again half a conversation for Tino as Lars continued to speak in Norwegian. Tino sighed and bit his lip out of frustration for Lukas and was just about to balance on his tiptoes to reach the top shelf of the cupboard when he heard the soft pad of bare feet on the cold kitchen tiles behind him.

“Tino I need you to do me a favour because this is driving me mad.” Lukas said standing by the table in the centre of the kitchen, leaning on its edge with both palms spread out flat. Tino closed the cupboard, cocked his head to the side to indicate that he was listening and turned to face Lukas.

“Remember those Finnish swear words you taught me?” said Lukas with the tiniest lopsided grin, “I need you to have a conversation with me.”

Confused, Tino opened his mouth to speak, but then his lips formed a soft O in realisation as Lukas began to speak again, and Tino saw his Dad coming into the kitchen behind him.

“Vitun iso, perkele saatanan kusi?” said Lukas as he pointed at the coffee machine, feigning asking a question to Tino, a string of Finnish profanities leaving his mouth.

Suddenly aware of what Lukas was trying to do, Tino instantly played along just as Lars stepped into the room.

“Ah joo, jumalauta,” he said with a nod, and grabbed Lukas’s favourite mug from the draining board. Then Tino turned to Lars and said “Kyrpäyrjö?”

Lars was stood looking back and forth between Lukas and Tino, causing Tino to bite his tongue so hard to suppress his amusement.

“Hva-“ Lars began, catching Lukas’s eye, “What did he ask me?”

Lukas stood up straight and flicked his hair out of his face, “Oh, he politely asked you to mind out of the way, you’re stood in front of the fridge and he needs to get the milk, don’t you Tino?”

Inwardly, Tino was struggling to choke back laughter at the fact that he had just looked his best friend’s father square in the face and said what would translate to ‘cock-vomit’.

“Of course, beklager – I mean, sorry.” Lars said, all of a sudden was very red in the face as he crossed the room and out of Tino’s way.

“Tiukkapipo.” Tino smiled at Lars and shrugged before opening the fridge and taking out the glass milk bottle.

A loud scraping noise broke the silence in the kitchen as Lukas dragged a chair out from under the table and sat down, motioning for his Dad to do the same. Lars took a seat and clasped his hands in front of him, watching Tino as he poured three coffees and a glass of orange juice.

“I didn’t know you could speak Finnish.” said Lars once Tino had his back turned.

Lukas picked at a loose thread in his blue cardigan casually and replied “You pick up the odd sentence or two when you live with a Finn.”

After a few minutes of nothing but the faint ticking of the kitchen wall clock and the hum of the refrigerator while Lukas, Lars and Tino sat at the table sipping their still too hot coffee for want of something to do other than sit in silence, Lars spoke up.

“Thank you for letting me stay here. I know this can’t be easy for you Lukas.” He said, earnestly.

Lukas stiffened a little but didn’t look up from looking at the patterned table cloth. Lars continued,

“I know I haven’t made things easy for you, but I want you to know that I am sorry, and I hope that we can make up for it.”  
He spoke with a thick accent compared to Lukas who had grown up knowing Norwegian as a second language rather than a first.

Tino had both elbows resting on the table and his mug clasped between his hands, taking slow sips while blowing on the hot drink inside, feeling a little awkward, but he had promised Lukas though that he would be by his side the whole time Lars was here.

Finally, Lukas downed the rest of his coffee and rose from the table,

“Yeah well I still have a business to run which I need to open in,” he began, glancing at the clock on the wall, “about half an hour.” he finished whilst dropping his empty mug into the soapy water in the sink.

“And right now I need to wake Emil for school.”

Tino also stood up and handed Lukas the glass of orange juice he poured out for Emil.

Lars leant back and grasped Lukas’s wrist as he walked past,

“Can I see him?”

Lukas pulled his arm out of Lars’s soft grip and adjusted the strap on his watch. “I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. If Emil wanted to see you he would have come in by himself. Let’s wait until dinner.” he said, and stalked out of the room. Lars watched Lukas leave and didn’t turn around again until he heard the soft rapping of Lukas’s knuckles on Emil’s bedroom door, and then a creak and a click as it opened and closed.

Tino’s kind eyes briefly met with Lars’s before he dropped his head into his hands. A small bubble of sympathy welled up inside Tino for a brief moment at the sight of a father trying to make amends with his only remaining family, but it soon disappeared when he thought back to everything that he had put them both through. Part of Tino wondered why Lars was even here other than as an excuse to try and patch things up with Lukas and Emil. Surely Lars could have found somewhere to stay back in Norway while some work was done to fix the burst pipe in his house, and didn’t need to fly all the way out here. Yet here he was, sat at their kitchen table.

Suddenly Tino jumped at the sound of the doorbell ringing and he put his mug down on the counter behind him.

“I’ll get it!” he shouted to Emil and Lukas as he left Lars alone in the kitchen and made his way down the hallway.

Though upon reaching the door Tino paused for a moment, not recognising the shadow of the tall figure on the other side as neither Leon nor his mother. Puzzled, he let go of the door handle, pulled the net curtain back to check who it was before opening the door and his breath hitched in his throat upon catching sight of the unmistakable red lipstick smile.

It was Christina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reference to the Finnish words used –
> 
> Kyrpäyrjö does translate literally to "cock-vomit"
> 
> Tiukkapipo = Literal translation is "Tight Hat" which means a narrow minded person.
> 
> And the rest of the Finnish was various words like fuck, piss, shit, etc. I had a lot of fun writing that scene lol
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> See you next chapter!
> 
> -lumassen x


	8. Chapter 8 - A Choice

**Chapter 8 – A Choice**

“Well are you going to just stand there staring at me through the glass or are you going to open the door?” Christina frowned as she stood with her arms crossed across her chest and weight thrown on one leg.

Tino dropped the netting and threw the door open,

“What are you doing here?” he hissed, stepping out onto the front porch and letting the door close to behind him. The tiles of the small balcony area outside the front of the apartment were cold on his bare feet, and he hopped from one foot to the other. “How do you know where I live?”

“I got your address from Michelle. Well, she didn’t willingly give it to me; I bribed her with letting her choose a dress from the Closet from one of the designer shoots.” Christina said with a slight shrug and a smirk across her lips.

Tino, unsure of what to say or do, stood there rubbing his elbows in an attempt to keep them warm in the biting, wintery air. He had been at ICON a few measly weeks, yet here was Christina checking up on him after he flounced out yesterday. Wait, she was here out of concern for him, right? Surely this wouldn’t be an ‘I told you so’ moment, or ‘serves you right for talking to your boss like that.’ What if she tried to convince him to come back to Icon?

“Why are you here?” he asked, his tone almost defensive.

Just as Christina rolled her eyes and started to answer, Leon appeared at the top of the balcony steps stopping her in her tracks. He took a swig from his can of Pepsi as he stared between Tino and Christina.

“Uh, Hey Tino, is Emil ready to go?”

Tino sighed heavily and stepped past Christina, opening the front door with such force that it slammed against the wall behind it.

“Emil! Leon’s here!” he yelled down the hall, then turned to Christina and nodded towards the inside of the house.

“We’ve just brewed some coffee. Go in and sit down and I’ll be with you in a minute. Jeez, you’ve picked a great morning for this.” Tino mumbled the last part under his breath as Christina brushed past him, the scent of her perfume quickly filling the small entranceway. As she entered the kitchen, Lars snapped his head up from where he was still sat at the table and looked her up and down. Tino rarely got stressed or frustrated, but this morning seemed to be the longest morning ever, filled with one thing after another.

Emil’s bedroom door opened and he hurried out, not even so much as glancing in the direction of the kitchen in an attempt to avoid his Dad, and made a beeline for the coat rack by the front door. He grabbed his satchel and shoved his arms into his coat sleeves, and his shoes were barely on his feet as he stepped outside. Tino was still stood just outside of the front door, flustered enough now to not even feel the cold. He and Emil exchanged a quick goodbye, and then he waited for him to leave and be out of sight down the steps.

In that moment, Tino was envious of Emil still being in school. Sure, he was nearly 18 and in his final year, but quite frankly Tino would happily leave the adult world behind right now for a classroom lecture where having a seat by the window and being on the same lunch slot as your friends were your only real concerns. Shaking his head, he made his way back inside and closed the door behind him.

\--------

Two refills of coffee and a piece of toast later, Christina and Tino were sat on the couch in the living room. Lars had hastily excused himself upon the arrival of Christina and left the apartment to go for a walk and stretch his legs. Confirming Tino’s suspicions, Christina had come to both scold Tino for the way he had acted but to also convince him to give it another shot.

She spoke passionately about Icon and explained to Tino that after being there long enough to see through the bullshit, it’s not a bad place to be to get where he wanted to go after he explained about his dream to become an editor. Tino watched her as she talked. She oozed confidence, but after some of the things that she had said to him back at their desks that day he knew that hadn’t always been the case. Christina was, in essence, a shining example of what you could become at ICON. She was warm and friendly, but at the same time didn’t give a shit what anyone thought about her.

Tino’s heart sank in spite of himself when he thought about how wrapped up in looking the part he’d become after hearing what Francis thought about him. How could he have let someone bother him so much? At the end of the day it was Ludwig who hired him, not Francis. Mr Beilschmidt knew that Tino would deter Francis from flirting with his assistant, but he also didn’t mean it to be an insult to Tino, not really. It was meant to steer Francis and Ludwig’s company at the same time in the right direction. If Tino gave up now, Francis would get what he wanted.

Brushing toast crumbs from his lap; Tino shifted in his seat on the couch and put his finger on his chin in thought.

“So… if I was to give this another shot,” he began, and Christina’s face lit up, “On a scale of 1 to 10 how awkward would it be to go back now?”

She laughed and set her empty mug down on the windowsill behind the couch. “I mean, I would say between 5 and 6, but who cares right? We’ll walk in together.”

Tino smiled from ear to ear suddenly full of confidence. Christina reminded him the popular girls when he was at school that made you feel like you were somebody if you got invited to their pool party, but without the cattiness.

“I don’t know who you are and how you just talked some sense into him, but thanks.” said Lukas, the cool monotone of his voice unmistakable, as he came into the living room and sat down in the armchair opposite the couch.

Seeming somewhat shocked at seeing Lukas, Christina leaned across to where he was sitting and extended a hand.

“Oh, I’m Christina, Tino’s work colleague. I didn’t realise, um, I didn’t know you had a…” she trailed off, gaze flickering between Lukas and Tino. Suddenly, the penny dropped as Lukas quickly reached forward and took hold of her hand, shaking it gently.

“Ah, no. We’re not-“ he began, his face turning pink while staring at Tino for help.

“No! I- He’s not my boyfriend, Lukas is just my friend. My best friend, actually!” Tino interjected, a flurry of words falling from his mouth. “We just live together. Well, this is his house, and so is the bookshop underneath. I just live here too.”

Christina let go of Lukas’s hand and smoothed her skirt.

“I see, sorry I shouldn’t have assumed.” She smiled sheepishly at Tino, then reached for her mug and stood up.

“Well, thanks for the coffee! I’d better be off. Tino, please think about what I said. Now, where should I put this mug?”

Lukas leapt up from the armchair, “I’ll take it. Your mug, I mean.” He said, “And Tino will get his shoes and coat on and go to work with you, won’t you Tino?”

He glanced over his shoulder at Tino, who looked rather like a rabbit caught in headlights.

“What?” he squeaked while wringing his hands; his eyes as wide as saucers.

Lukas sauntered into the kitchen and dropped Christina’s mug into the soapy water in the sink. Noticing the other mugs from that morning were starting to pile up, Lukas continued speaking with his back turned as he pulled on a pair of rubber gloves.

“Why of course, I can’t drive you ‘cause I need to wait for my Dad to come back. Christina, I’m guessing you drove here?”

“Yup! I’m parked out front!” she said triumphantly, while taking her keys out of her coat pocket and jangling them in her hand noisily.

“C’mon little Finn, to Icon we go!”

\-------------------

“I want to die.” Tino sighed as he stood in front of the familiar office block. He looked up as it towered above him and watched the window cleaners working about 15 floors up, their rickety wooden station held together just about by the ropes hanging over the top, swaying in the wind.

“I’m not even dressed for a day at the office.” He pouted as he pulled at his lilac jumper and stuck a skinny jean clad leg out in front of him in Christina’s direction as if to prove it. She didn’t reply and simply put a hand on his shoulder and started walking, steering him in the direction of the revolving doors before pushing him into the slow cycle.

The concierge tipped her hat at Tino and Christina as they stepped out of the doors and into the marble reception area of the publications and called for the elevator. Once inside the elevator and it had hummed into motion taking them up to the 35th floor did Christina finally speak.

“Now, we’ll head to our desks and wait for Francis to call you into his office,” She said as she checked her teeth for any traces of red lipstick in the mirrored walls. “He’ll make you wait though probably ‘cause he’s like that and his ego is as big as he thinks his dick is – not that I’ve seen his dick.” She added the last part quickly, glancing at Tino stood behind her through the mirror.

Tino let out a small laugh as Christina caught his eye, and the elevator chimed and came to a halt when they had reached their floor. Tino sucked in a deep breath as the doors slid open. Several other people who were waiting to get into the elevator parted as Tino and Christina stepped out. Thankfully Tino didn’t recognise anyone, but one man nodded to Christina in acknowledgement and she mumbled a ‘good morning’ in return.

As they walked through the offices, Tino’s nerves began to grow in the pit of his stomach. He tried to imagine how his meeting with Francis would go in his head and play out the scenario. Would he just fire him anyway, or be angry that Tino had dared to come back? Had he already found a replacement? And how did Christina know that Francis would be waiting for him? Surely he would have more important things to do than wait to see if his assistant would turn up.

Mentally, he braced himself for confrontation, but when he turned the corner and saw Francis through the glass of his office at the end of the long corridor sat at his desk with his chin resting in his palm gazing out of the window with a concentrated look on his face, his nerves suddenly disintegrated. Usually he would be lounging in his chair while arguing with Mr Kirkland, chatting to some models, or even occasionally actually doing some paperwork and mock ups of the magazine; but this morning Francis was alone.

Michelle and Matthew were stood by the front desk, gossiping in hushed voices, but once they saw Christina and Tino they stopped and made their way over. Matthew smiled warmly at Tino and Michelle gave a small nod to Christina, who then grinned rather proudly from ear to ear.

“Welcome back, hun.” Michelle said while poking Tino playfully in the arm. “You’re quite the topic of conversation this morning! Now I see why Mr Beilschmidt chose you over me for this role, I could never put Francis in his place like that!”

Tino looked around at his peers who surrounded him, and all were smiling and praising him as if he’d just done something heroic.

“You can bow down to him later people, we’ve got shit to do. Tak very much!” Christina bounced away off towards to their desks and Tino kept close behind. Seeing Matthew and Michelle had made him feel slightly better about this whole situation as they seemed to be pleased that someone had confronted Francis about his behaviour, but he also couldn’t help but feel uneasy that he was being praised for being rude and speaking out of turn. Sure, Francis deserved it in some way, but Tino had never been this person. People at ICON were catty and vicious like this however, or at least the majority, and Tino was one of them now.

The editor in chief stood up from his desk when he saw Tino and Christina approaching and opened the door to his office. His blonde hair was swept back from his face, yet free from its usual silk ribbon and hanging loose around his shoulders. Tino couldn’t help but notice the lack of ‘pizazz’ today that usually emanated from Francis as he held open the door, looking at Tino with an almost timid regard.

“Good Morning Tino, please come in.” he said, then looked past Tino for a moment to Christina who had begun to set out her work for her day on the desk, “and thank you, Christina.”

Hesitantly, Tino followed Francis into his office and closed the door gently behind him, completely unable to read the room to try to anticipate how this was going to go. He took a seat in the high backed chair on the opposing side to Francis at his desk when he motioned for him to do so. He felt himself trembling a little and hoped that it wasn’t noticeable.

“I want to start off by apologising to you.” Francis began, surprising Tino a little with his words, but he didn’t seem to notice and continued while keeping his gaze on anything but Tino’s face.

“What I did to you at the Arlovskaya shoot was rotten and callous, and while I won’t pretend that I can’t believe that I would stoop that low, I will say that I never want to do that again, or anything of the sort. I hope that you can forgive me.”

While Francis rose again from his chair and walked over to the window, Tino’s heart was hammering inside his chest, and he ran a finger around the neck of his jumper to loosen it a little. A small silence grew in the room as Francis paused in thought and watched the passing traffic way down below.

“I feel that what you said to me had been coming for a long time,” he said at last, “and I didn’t realise how much I needed to hear it. I’ve been thinking since we last spoke yesterday, and I have always wanted success and to be the best at everything and I thought that the way to get there was to act how everyone would expect me to act. But it turns out I kept attracting the wrong people who continued to lead me down that path and made me believe what I was doing was right until Ludwig threw a curveball at me - and the curveball is you, Tino.”

He put his hands in the pockets of his silk trousers and turned to face Tino, looking him directly in the eye. Tino leaned forward a little in his seat and gave Francis his full attention, not wanting to blurt anything out until he was sure his boss was completely finished, but also couldn’t stop the bubbles of happiness from welling up in his chest from the way that this conversation was heading. He almost felt weirdly proud of Francis in this moment of self-analysis.

“I’ve realised that you are what ICON has been missing this whole time. Someone who respects – or should I say once respected - me for the fact that I am the editor in chief of a magazine and a businessman, and not for the fact that I have more money than sense and good looks.”

As he carried on talking, Tino saw for the first time in the weeks that he had been acquainted with him who Francis really was. He was a man who thought that living and breathing as a stereotype was the way to keep his head above water in a new role that he had clearly wanted for a long time. Tino thought about how just the other day he changed his looked and googled how to dress to impress, and suddenly didn’t feel much different to Francis. He had let himself be consumed by what he thought other people expected of him, when really he was just fine the way he was. It was clear that the fashion industry claimed many victims on different levels, but for the same overall reason.

Tears threatened to fall at this realisation as he cleared his throat to stop Francis from talking away and tried not to let the lump in his throat make his voice come out strained.

“I’m sorry that it took me to call you out in such a public way for you to realise that all you need to be is yourself. I still do respect you Francis, and I guess even more so after what you’ve just said, even if you do still think I’m a fat brace face.” Tino said with a slightly awkward laugh, which made Francis’s mouth gape open and his face turn bright red as he stuttered an apology, now obviously aware that Tino had heard him say that. Tino waved a hand at him in dismissal before continuing.

“I do think that you’ve tainted your image at ICON, but this is something that you can work to change if you really want to.”

Francis paused for a while, studying Tino’s face. Then he spoke and his voice almost sounded pleading.

“Will you help me?”

Tino’s kind hearted nature made him want to jump up from his chair and hug Francis, but he controlled himself and simply nodded, a soft smile playing on his lips. He wasn’t sure how exactly he was going to help Francis, as his bosses image was a little more than tainted, and Tino didn’t have the best confidence and self-esteem in the world himself, but he believed in himself enough and knew that he wanted to at least try. In a world where imperfections were being scrutinised constantly under a microscope Tino would embrace his own in the best way that he could despite this. It wasn’t worth risking his friendships, his own mental wellbeing, and his personality to even think about changing just to be ‘liked’ by people whose opinions he hadn’t really cared about in the past.

Francis’s face relaxed, and his eyes creased a little as a genuine smile appeared. “To show that I’m serious, in true Bonnefoy fashion, let’s turn over a new leaf,” He declared as he tore himself away from the window and fumbled around behind his desk for a moment. When he stood back up straight again Tino couldn’t help but beam.

“or rather a new petal.” Francis concluded as he flourished a beautiful bunch of pale yellow roses at Tino.

“Mr Bonnefoy, I don’t know what to say-“ said Tino as he gingerly took the bunch of roses from Francis, their sweet scent suddenly filling the office.

“There is nothing to say, other than I hope that we can forgive each other. Can we be a team?”

Tino wasn’t the one to hold grudges, or at least for very long. In that moment, he had made amends with a man that he had judged just as harshly as said man judged him.

He shook his head almost in disbelief and also in spite of the pair of them and laughed.

“Okay, Francis. We’re a team.”

\------------------

Lukas flicked the switch on the wall and the bookshop slowly blinked to life for the day, one flickering fluorescent strip light at a time. It was much later than he would usually open up, but of course today hadn’t been a usual day.

Lars had returned back to the apartment about an hour after Tino and Emil had left with bacon, eggs and bread rolls for Lukas and himself. At first it had been hard for Lukas to be sat around a breakfast table with his dad, as when he was a teen the mornings were always the worst until Lars had cracked open his first can of beer. Then he continued until Lukas had to put him to bed. He couldn’t get used to the fact that he didn’t have to shrink under his father’s gaze anymore or protect Emil from his vicious tongue, and that this was his house and his dad had to obey by his own rules.

This morning the beer had been replaced with coffee and orange juice, and quickly Lukas began to see that Lars was actually trying. He hadn’t dared to ask how long his dad had been sober no matter how curious he was, but when Lars began to ask about Lukas and his life he quickly pushed that thought to the back of his mind and tried to get used to being a son again.

“Wow, Lukie, this is really something.” Lars breathed as he stepped into the bookshop after Lukas.

Despite it being late February and bitterly cold outside, the winter sunshine was bright and it streamed in through the great bay windows at the front of the shop. In this light, the shop did look good. The shelves were well stocked and stood proudly from floor to ceiling, and the displays were neat, tidy and well placed. Lukas didn’t mention or even hint to the fact that the shop was somewhat failing, and instead wanted so desperately to receive gratification and praise from his father, and to cling onto what little of his pride he had as a shopkeeper was left.

He turned the cash register on, set the radio playing and then flipped the dog-eared sign on the front door to ‘open’ as he unlocked the door.

“Fiction is over here,” Lukas said, patting the wooden shelf to his right, “and it’s the biggest section. I have everything from children’s fiction to crime novels to, of course, fantasy. Then over to the left and next to the counter is non-fiction, and finally on the back wall we have references – maps, dictionaries, language guides, that sort of thing.”

He finished with a small smile as he let his eyes wander over the store for a moment before he looked over at Lars. He ran his finger across the thick spines of the hardback atlas’s as he looked around at the rest of the shop.

“Who’s this?” he said as he picked up a copy of a book with a woman on the cover from a display table in the centre.

“That’s Lucille Marcon, she’s a best seller and one of my favourites. She writes some really interesting novels about trolls and fair folk like nothing I’ve read before. She’s this month’s spotlight author to celebrate her new book.” Lukas rambled, losing the attention of Lars a little.

“So you’re still into all that faery crap then?” he said with a chortle, putting the book back down. When Lukas didn’t reply, Lars cleared his throat.

“Is there anything I can do to help while I’m here then?”

Lukas scratched his head, not wanting to give his dad too much to do that he stuck around in the shop with him all the time he was here, but also not wanting to push him away when he just wanted to spend time with him.

“I guess you can grab the sticker gun from the drawer under the cash register and help me with some pricing, but once customers start coming in I need to be available for them, okay?” Lukas said and chewed on his bottom lip.

The next few weeks were going to be hard to adjust to, but even Emil’s sake more than anything Lukas knew he needed to grit his teeth and just get on with it. His dad was responsible for a lot of emotional pain, but now that he was here in his house trying to make amends, he had to at least give it a shot. The past was in the past, and right now he had a bookshop to run and a family to feed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yellow roses symbolise friendship :)
> 
> I really hope y'all are enjoying this story, I'm really enjoying writing it again after so many years <3
> 
> Thank you for reading as always!
> 
> -lumassen x


	9. Chapter 9 - Do you need a friend?

**Chapter 9 – Do you need a friend?**

It had been a week since Tino made amends with Francis, and February had now rolled over into March. Christina came to pick Tino up every day on her way to work and the two had started to form a bit of a bond. But rather than just wait in the car for him to come down from the apartment when she stopped to collect him, she had made a habit of parking up and coming all the way up to their door. On two occasions she had even brought baked goods, muffins on Wednesday and a pecan pie on Friday after she’d learned in conversation that it was Lukas’s favourite.

Tino had also been spending more time getting to know his other colleagues at work, and found that he had a lot in common in particular with Eduard from accounts and finance, and Elizabeta, the photographer who had now not only seen him run smack into a glass door, but also in nothing but tight underwear and a garter belt at the Arlovskaya shoot. His work life was good, and he felt happy to get up in the mornings for another day at Icon.

Home life was also better than anyone in the small household had expected. The first evening that Lars and Emil saw each other for the first time in a good few years was very awkward, and Emil excused himself from the table half way through dinner and small talk. But as the days rolled by the Thomassen family seemed to be getting used to each other again.

Lars slept on the pull out sofa that was usually Tino’s bed, and Tino shared with Lukas in his big queen size. They hadn’t shared a room, let alone a bed, since their college days. This was of course before Lukas dropped out and they got this apartment. It was hard getting used to sleeping with each other for the first couple of nights as it was obvious that Lukas hadn’t shared a bed with anyone for a long time by the way he sprawled out and stole all the blankets, but he soon stopped after several shoves and kicks from Tino during the night. There had been some debate if they should invest in an inflatable mattress for Tino to sleep on, but rather than break his back sleeping on the floor neither Lukas nor Tino minded sharing.

This morning Tino had woken early and left Lukas asleep. Monday was his only day off during the week when he didn’t open the store. He’d padded blearily into the kitchen to make breakfast to find Lars and Emil already sat at the dining table talking quietly. Not wanting to intrude, he hurried and made his toast and excused himself to go and eat in the living room instead.

Now as he sat in Christina’s car on the way to work, Tino couldn’t help but wonder how Emil must be feeling. Of course this was situation was difficult for Lukas, as his whole life had to take a different route due to the actions of his father. But Emil was suddenly whisked away from the life he knew at a young age after already going through the grief of losing his mother and had to start again with just his brother and brother’s housemate who was at that point a complete stranger. All while his Dad fled back to Norway and losing custody of Emil to Lukas. He had been only 11 at the time, as there were 12 years between he and Lukas. Tino loved Emil like a brother, and though he would never tell that to Emil out loud, he knew that Emil felt the same about him. He didn’t want him to get hurt again in all this.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Christina said, glancing over at Tino as he sat slumped in the passenger seat, chin in palm, as she pulled into the car park. She turned the engine off and fiddled with taking her seatbelt off and tucking her rear view mirrors in.

“Nothing, just family stuff.” Tino replied with a small sigh as he pushed the car door open and stepped out. Christina had an obnoxiously large 4x4, and Tino had to use the footplate to step down from the passenger seat. She on the other hand had no problem as she came in easily over 6ft tall when she had heels on.

A little comically, Tino only just reached Christina’s shoulder as they walked side by side.

“Do you get on with your parents?” he asked as they stepped through the front doors and waited for the elevator like every other morning.

Christina hesitated a little before she responded, tucking a stray lock of her short, curly hair behind her ear.

“I mean, yeah I guess we do. We fight a little every now and then, but in the end I love them and they love me. I’m lucky to have accepting parents. I couldn’t imagine what it must be like for Lukas, if that’s who you’re worrying about.”

Tino wondered for a moment what Christina meant by saying that her parents were accepting, but didn’t dwell on it.

“No it’s Emil actually that I’m a little worried about. I just hope Lars doesn’t fill his head with crap, y’know?” he admitted, then chewed on his lip in thought. On their journeys to and from work, Tino had told Christina all about Lars’s visit, and that Lukas had raised Emil himself.

As the elevator chimed, Tino stood up straight and gave himself a little wiggle, trying to shake away his thoughts before starting his work day.

The doors slid open and the pair parted quickly as someone stormed out.

“I dunno how they expect me t’ do it.” Berwald muttered to himself, throwing his hands up in exasperation. He was closely followed by Matthew, who shot a worried glance at Tino as he hurried past them and chased after Berwald.

“Mr Oxenstierna, please wait a moment!” Matthew called after Berwald, but once Berwald was within the rotation of the front doors and out of the building, the assistant stopped in the middle of the foyer and sighed visibly. Matthew was the assistant to Arthur, who shared the title of Editor with Francis. Arthur focused more on the background workings of the magazine, arranging the features and coming up with ideas for each season’s theme, while Francis worked more in the front line and liaised with clients, photographers and celebrities who brought the ideas to life and then arranged the mock ups. As much as Tino had clashed with Francis to begin with, he didn’t envy Matthew and would much rather be the assistant to Francis over Arthur.

Tino turned to Christina,

“If you see Francis can you tell him that I’m helping Matthew?”

Christina looked at him and blinked her large doe-like eyes as if he’d just spoken another language.

“Uh, I know you’ve just made friends with Francis and all that jazz, but if he knows you’re helping Matthew and by doing so secondhandedly helping Arthur he’ll go crazy!” she flapped, thrusting her hand out in front of the elevator doors to stop them from closing.

“Then tell him I’m helping Berwald then. I won’t be long I promise.” Tino said and clasped his hands in front of his chest as if to plea.

With a quick roll of the eye, Christina nodded and stepped into the elevator, letting the doors finally slide closed.

“Hey Matt, what’s going on? What’s with Berwald?” Tino asked gently as he approached Matthew.

“I tried to tell Arthur and Francis that it was too much of an ask, but who am I to have an opinion.” He said with a slightly irritated tone to his voice and pushed his glasses further up on his nose.

“I think they forget that Berwald is just one guy and-“ Matthew continued but stopped suddenly and looked over Tino’s shoulder as the elevator chimed once again, “oh for goodness sake.”

Turning around to see who Matthew was looking at, Tino saw a woman with long dirty blonde hair tied messily into a braid slung over her shoulder. She looked familiar to him, but he couldn’t for the life of him think why. She hurried over to where he and Matthew were standing.

“I’m sorry Mathieu, this is my fault. I shouldn’t have suggested anything.” She said, sounding almost embarrassed. She had a heavy French sounding accent to her voice.

“Matthew, I’m not sure what’s going on here, but shouldn’t someone go after Berwald?” he said, pointing towards the door.

For a moment, Matthew simply stood looking between Tino and the French woman, looking torn.

“Okay. Tino, you go and see if you can see Berwald outside, and I’ll escort Miss Marcon back up to the offices. If you see him please bring him back up with you, Francis will want to see him.” He paused to look at his watch, “and if you need to calm him down first I’ll cover for your absence.” He finished with a slightly strained smile, obviously trying to retain composure in front of this woman.

“Will do!” Tino said and made his way back outside, leaving Matthew to deal with Miss Marcon. The wind had picked up a little so he zipped his coat up a little further as he looked up and down the street. Berwald couldn’t have gone far unless he planned to not come back to work at all. By the looks of things he just needed to calm down and get some fresh air after whatever had happened to bother him so much. Unsure of which direction to head in or where to begin looking for Berwald, Tino stood right in the middle of the sidewalk, apologising absentmindedly as people huffed in annoyance and glared at him as they had to walk around him, eyes searching the hustle and bustle of the street for a tall, blonde Swede. Shoving his hands into his coat pockets Tino set off towards the nearest street corner that lead to the coffee shop he had ran into Berwald in the other day, and then a small park was further down the same street. These were two places that weren’t too far away from the office building and it wouldn’t hurt to start looking there. Looking up to the grey sky that threatened rain, Tino wondered why he had recognised the woman back in the foyer just then. He was racking his brains trying to think where he had seen her before, and momentarily forgot what he was doing until he saw a familiar figure hunched on a bench a few feet in front of him.

Tino stopped for a moment and just watched Berwald as he sat there, slumped on the bench looking out at the little ducks on the pond ahead of him. One arm hung lazily by his side, the other tucked into his jacket pocket. A small part of Tino didn’t want to disturb him and just give him some space, but a lot more of him wanted to see if he was okay. Working up the courage, Tino sauntered over to the bench and sat down tentatively next to Berwald.

Berwald’s eyes slid to look at Tino from behind his glasses and he cleared his throat softly.

“Hey Berwald, I just wanted to check that you were okay…” Tino began, leaning forward slightly so that he could look up to Berwald’s downcast face.

“Mhm.” Berwald nodded and cast his gaze back out to the pond.

“I’m fine. Just needed a bit o’ space. Sorry if I barged past ya in the lobby before.” He mumbled, still not meeting Tino’s eye, and took his hand out of his pocket to adjust his glasses.

“Ah! Berwald!” Tino exclaimed when he noticed the bandage on Berwald’s hand. “How did that happen? You’re hurt!”

Chuckling a little to himself, Berwald extended his hand out towards Tino, wiggling his fingers a little, finally looking at him properly. “Ya mean this? Happens all the time. It doesn’t hurt. Just caught it on a piece of metal.”

Tino nodded and looked down at his own hands. They were small and soft compared to Berwald’s. He kept his nails neatly trimmed short, whereas it looked like Berwald had a habit of biting his nails judging by their ragged and uneven edges. Silence fell over the two for a moment as the wind whipped past. The ducks quacked and splashed on the pond, and a cyclist rode past them.

“So… Is everything okay? I could speak to Francis for you if you need anything. Matthew said that he thinks Arthur and Francis forget you’re just one person. If you’re over worked I can talk to them if you want.” Tino said, eyes searching Berwald’s face for any hints as to how he was feeling on his features.

“It’s okay Tino, but thanks. Appreciate it.” He simply shook his head.

“Ludwig has been good t’ me. When Francis took over the company and Arthur was made co-editor in chief they wanted to start renting an’ supplying props for shoots and just hiring a set design crew as and when they needed one. It woulda put me out of a job, so I told ‘em both that I could still do it, and that I would work harder. They could just keep me an’ pay one salary rather than pay a hire company and I would do the same amount of work as a full team would do. Ludwig agreed before he handed the company over completely.”

As Berwald spoke, it began to dawn on Tino why everyone thought Berwald was strange and weird for keeping himself holed up all the time in his workshop. Now it was painfully clear that he did it not because he wanted it to be that way, instead he was just working really hard and literally didn’t have time to socialise. He was always the first in the office for the day and one of the last to leave. Icon held so many photo shoots and events each day, and Berwald was always building and taking apart the sets, barely even having time to eat lunch.

“Ber, if you’re struggling you should say something! I can definitely talk to Ludwig for you!” Tino cried, appalled at not only himself but at all of his colleagues for not noticing this sooner.

“It’s okay. Usually its fine an’ I can get everything done that I need to. But next week we’ve got two big shoots. That author whose book launch we’re coverin’ and then there’s the American fashion designer. Arthur wants a real intricate set designin’ for each of them and I just dunno how they expect me t’ do it.” Berwald fiddled with the cuff of his shirt sleeve as he continued, “How am I supposed to build a bookshop settin’, clear it away and a then build a rodeo ring right after? It’s not even like I can use parts of one set in the other-“

Berwald stopped suddenly as Tino burst up from the bench and jumped up and down on the spot. “Sorry to interrupt Ber but I’ve just realised something! I can help you out here!”

Confused, Berwald tilted his head to the side to show that he was listening.

“Do you remember the name of the author who’s doing the book launch? She’s French right? I heard Matthew and Michelle talking about her only a week ago!” Tino said rather frantically.

If Tino was right in what he was thinking, his idea would help not only Berwald by taking some work off his hands, but would also help Lukas to get some footfall into his store.

Berwald scratched his chin in thought. “Starts with an L… Lucy?”

“Lucille!” Tino yelled, and a huge grin spread across his face, “Lucille Marcon! My best friend loves her work and he runs a bookshop in town! Why don’t we hold the book launch there and just use his store as a set? He would let you use it for free too I just know he would!”

Clasping his hands to his chest, Tino spun around on the spot, unable to contain his excitement at his idea.

“We have to tell Francis!”

\------

“No, this just won’t work.” Arthur said, his arms folded across his chest.

Tino and Berwald stood before Arthur and Francis in Francis’s office. Matthew stood by the door, scribbling something on his clipboard. Tino had just finished enthusiastically pitching his idea of holding the shoot for the Marcon book launch in Lukas’s shop, but now he felt utterly deflated at their reaction. Berwald hadn’t said a word and let Tino do all the talking as he shrank before the Editors.

Francis adjusted his cravat and gave Tino a sympathetic look.

“I’m sorry Tino, but I have to agree with Arthur. Doing a shoot like this on location will be difficult, especially knowing that the location is owned by someone who is a big fan of Lucille. We just don’t know what would happen. There could be a leak, or a sudden surge of fans appearing.”

Arthur looked surprised that Francis had agreed with him so quickly as he turned back to Tino.

“It wasn’t a bad idea, just not a very practical one. Berwald will be just fine constructing the sets if we allowed a little more time, right Berwald? We’ll push back the Emily Jones shoot by a day.” he concluded before even waiting for Berwald to reply as if he knew he wasn’t going to object. Tino looked up at Berwald who towered next to him and wanted to jump in to explain that he felt Berwald was being stretched too thin, but stopped himself when he remembered what had happened last time he had butted in on someone else’s business.

Sensing Tino’s hesitation, Francis looked at him, “Is that everything, Tino?”

He quickly glanced at Berwald, who was avoiding his gaze again, then simply nodded and forced a smile to hide his disappointment and set his mind back to his work day ahead.

“Yep! That’s everything. But while I have you, you have a meeting later at 1pm with Lovino and Antonio about the cover for next month. I’m going to go and set the room up for it now, do you want refreshments on the table?”

Francis looked pleased with Tino’s response and gave him a small pat on the shoulder as he opened the door to escort Berwald, Arthur, Matthew and Tino out.

“That would be wonderful.”

Matthew caught Tino’s eye as they left the office, and there was an odd expression on his face and Tino couldn’t quite place, as if he wanted to ask him something, but he couldn’t worry about it right now. He had a job to be getting on with.

\------------

Emil sat in the front seat of Lukas’s car and scrolled through Instagram, peering out of the windscreen every now and again, the repetitive ticking from the hazard lights filling the small space. As Lukas was driving Emil to school the car had suddenly ground to a halt and black smoke began to pour out of the engine. They had been pulled over on the roadside for a while, and Lukas had the hood up currently inspecting the engine.

“Okay Em, try now. Turn the key.” Lukas shouted to Emil as he stood back from the car, his hands blackened by the oil of the engine.

Emil did as he was asked and put his phone down, leaning over to the driver’s seat and turning the key in the ignition. The car chugged and shuddered to life for a moment, but soon died again and didn’t start. Lukas gave up and slammed the hood closed, a noise of infuriation escaping him. Emil rolled the window down and stuck his head out.

“I can just walk to school from here. I’ll be fine. Are you gonna call for recovery?” he asked Lukas, who had leant against the side of the car.

Lukas waved his mobile phone that was already in his hand at Emil in response, and then stood up to open the car door to let his brother out – the door handle didn’t work from the inside.

Emil patted the roof of the red Fiat Panda as he got out and looked at Lukas, his brows knitted.

“She’s served us well, old Doris, but I think she’s finally had it Luke.” He said, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye.

Lukas had had his car for just over 7 years, and it was named Doris by Tino and Emil who nearly died when Lukas showed up in it after he’d bought it cheap at a used car show room. They said it looked like a car a little old woman would drive 5 miles to do the grocery shop once a week. It was at least 15 years old if not more at the time Lukas had bought it, and Emil was genuinely surprised that it had survived this long and kept passing it’s MOT’s with flying colours. Until today.

“I’ll get the bus to school this week, or hitch a ride with Leon until we get another car. We can go to the showroom on Saturday with dad if you want?” Emil suggested while picking his satchel up from the foot well of the car and slinging it over his shoulder.

Lukas could have grimaced at Emil’s naivety that they could just go and purchase another car that easily, but he didn’t and simply closed the car door as Emil moved away from it.

Emil fidgeted, not liking Lukas’s silence,

“You’ll be alright won’t you? Waiting here for the recovery?”

Emil’s tone of voice dragged Lukas from his thoughts. Catching the expression on his brothers face, he straightened himself up.

“Of course, lillebror, I’ll be fine. Now go, you’re late enough as it is. And if anyone at school has problems with your lateness get them to call me. Okay? You can text me if you want me to meet you at the bus stop later.” he said, wiping his dirty hands on his jeans.

Usually Emil would yell at Lukas for talking to him like a little kid, but decided to let it go this morning. No matter how much his big brother irritated him, he was only looking out for him. Emil just wished that he could support his brother in return just as much had he’d supported him. He was clearly struggling and there wasn’t much he could do about it, especially while still in school.

“Okay bro, see you later.” He said as he waved goodbye over his shoulder and set off down the road. Lukas didn’t take his eye off him until he was safely round the corner.

Determined not to waste money on calling out a recovery company, Lukas rolled his sleeves up and unlatched the hood again, continuing to tinker with the engine. As today was his day off he wasn’t in a rush to be anywhere.

Unaware of how much time had passed, Lukas had his head buried in the hood and was so focused on what he was doing he didn’t hear the rumble of another car pull up behind him on the grass verge.

“Hey, do you need any help? Engine problems huh?” a male voice called out and a car engine turned off. Lukas stopped what he was doing and lowered the hood so that he could peer round the car to see who had stopped to help him. A black Volkswagen had pulled up, and when Lukas recognised the person it belonged to as they stepped out he wanted to crawl under his own car and never come out again.

“Oh, it’s you!” the guy from the café, Matthias, said as he slammed his car door shut and made his way over to Lukas.

“Jesus, am I in a cheesy Mills and Boon novel or something?” Lukas muttered to himself as Matthias ambled over and peered at the engine.

“Wow, that doesn’t look good.” He deadpanned, grinning sheepishly at Lukas.

Lukas caught Matthias looking him up and down, probably taking in his white cardigan and pale jeans, now ruined with black engine fluid, and also his weary expression. He looked a mess.

“I don’t know much about cars, but unless you’re a mechanic you’re probably not gonna be able to fix that,” Matthias said with a slightly faltered laugh, “but I’ve got a tow rope in the trunk if you want me to tow you home? I don’t mind.”

Staring incredulously at Matthias, Lukas couldn’t believe the chances of him being only person out of however many people had drove past that had stopped and offered to help. When he was out of his work uniform he looked slightly older than Lukas had first thought when he met him, stood there on the grass in chino trousers and a khaki sweater, his strawberry blonde hair swept up and out of his freckly face. This was also confirmed also by the fact that he could drive.

Lukas could feel anxiety creeping up from the pit of his stomach as he thought about the calls he had sent to voicemail and few texts he had left unopened from Matthias. They eventually fizzled out until he stopped contacting him altogether a few days ago. As much as Lukas wished they hadn’t met before now and that he hadn’t been stupid enough to give out his own number to this guy, Matthias didn’t seem to be bothered by the fact he’d been ignored by Lukas and instead stood there waiting for Lukas to take up his offer.

Lukas thought about it for a moment before gingerly closing the hood again for the final time. Inwardly he scolded himself for being such a bag of nerves when it came to interacting with new people.

“You… don’t want anything in return do you? I mean, I have a little bit of money in my wallet.” Lukas asked cautiously, rolling his sleeves back down. Not having to call for recovery would save him a lot of money, but he wanted to also make sure that Matthias didn’t expect anything too large in return.

Matthias laughed and shook his head.

“Nope, nothing in return, just doin’ my good deed for the day. Unless you were planning to drive to the other end of the country, in that case I might hafta charge you some money for gas!” he waited for Lukas to laugh as his joke, but when he didn’t he cleared his throat awkwardly. “Right, lemme go and get the tow rope. Do you have a tow bar?”

Unsure, Lukas hesitated before scurrying around to the back of his car to check.

“Ah shit, no I don’t.” he confirmed. “Is that a problem?”

“No, just means I need to connect the rope to your chassis instead. It shouldn’t take long!” Matthias said confidently as he went to his car and took the tow rope from the trunk.

Lukas stood on the grass verge by his car, feeling slightly embarrassed by Doris compared to Matthias’s VW Golf, and watched as Matthias brought his car round and parked it in front of his. In no time at all he had connected the tow rope and tested the strength of the connection by driving forward a few feet. When all was ready he opened his door a crack and called to Lukas.

“Have you driven while being towed before?”

Lukas shook his head. He was an overly cautious driver at the best of times, and the thought of having to steer a car that he had no engine power over concerned him.

“Okay. I’ll go slowly for you. Just steer as you normally would, and remember that you still need to indicate. Oh and please use your brakes. As much as I don’t mind helpin’ ya, I don’t want you smashing into the back of Roxie.”

Lukas laughed a little, starting to feel a little less anxious around Matthias,

“You named your car too?”

Matthias’s face broke into a huge grin when he heard Lukas laugh. “Why of course! Who does Roxie have the pleasure of towing to safety?”

“This is Doris. She’s an old gal if you couldn’t tell.” Lukas said with a smirk, nodding to the fiat, “and I don’t think she’ll drive again.” He added a little more solemnly.

“Well Doris, let’s take you for one last spin! Ready to hit the road?” Matthias slid into his driver’s seat and started the engine.

Lukas punched in his postcode when Matthias handed him the sat-nav device and then got in his car and put his seatbelt on. He took a deep breath and braced himself for the drive home, gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white as Matthias set off slowly and they bumped off kerbside and onto the road. Lukas’s could now hear every creak and groan that his old car made without the reverberation of the engine, and being so close to the back of Matthias’s car was disorientating. He was so close that he could see Matthias’s reflection in his wing mirror as he kept looking behind him to check on Lukas. Shifting in his seat, Lukas flicked on his indicator as Matthias had done signalling for a left turn, and felt his whole body tense as he swung round the corner. Thank god they weren’t too far from home.

*

Not much more than 15 minutes later, Matthias had successfully managed to tow Lukas and Doris home, and he had just finished unhooking the tow rope. He slung the rope into the trunk of his car and slammed it closed.

“Well, that was kinda fun.” He said with a laugh.

Lukas busied himself with taking his car key off his set of keys and slid it into his back pocket – he wouldn’t be needing it for a while. Matthias watched him as he did so.

“Look I’m sorry about your car. I hope you can get it fixed.” Matthias said as he hovered between Lukas and his own car. He looked around and noticed the store front of the bookshop.

“So, do ya live above this store?”

Lukas nodded, not really feeling like telling Matthias it was in fact his store. As he and Matthias stood on the street in a small silence, Lukas wondered if Matthias expected him to invite him inside and wasn’t sure what to say now that Matthias had done him a huge favour.

“Lukas? Is that you?”

Lukas and Matthias looked up to see Lars hanging over the balcony, his hand raised to his forehead to shield his eyes from the sun as he squinted down below him.

“Yeah, it’s me. I’ll be up in a minute.” Lukas answered him, and Matthias stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“Well, I’d best be off then.” He said a little ineptly as he began to walk backwards towards his car, its lights flashing once as he unlocked it with a touch of a button on his key fob.

Lukas felt guilty and even embarrassed by himself that he couldn’t seem to figure out how to wrap up this conversation or express how grateful he was to Matthias. He took a step forward,

“Thank you, Matthias. Really, thank you.” He said finally, and smiled genuinely at Matthias. “And if there’s anything I can do to re-pay you, you know where to find me.” He added quickly, still feeling as though he hadn’t expressed his gratitude enough.

Matthias beamed as he opened his car door, not once taking his eyes off Lukas.

“Ditto. If you ever need a coffee, black with no sugar, and a Tuna Toastie you know where to find me.” He said with a wave of his hand before he slid into the driver’s seat and slammed the door shut. A the engine rumbled to life, Matthias beeped his horn twice and kept waving out of the window as he drove away, leaving Lukas stood alone on the pavement, staring after the car until it was no longer in sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last of the pre-chapters that I've brought over from FF.net from 2015 and so both sites are now up to the same chapter now. I hope you guys are liking this fic! If you have any feedback or anything then please let me know as I'm writing the rest of the chapters at the minute. Thanks to the few of you who have added a Kudos! 
> 
> If there's anything I can do to make this fic better please let me know, your feedback helps! Anything you like/don't like?
> 
> See you all next chapter!
> 
> -lumassen x
> 
> P.s Lucille Marcon is APH Monaco :)


	10. Chapter 10 - Smile, Lukas.

**Chapter 10 – Smile, Lukas.**

Saturday had come around rather quickly and thankfully brought to an end a busy week. The Marcon shoot was only days away now, and with yesterday’s arrival of Emily Jones things had got a little hectic. Tino had been rushed off his feet running between meetings, setting up lunches and organising Francis’s schedule so that he could squeeze enough time in the day for everyone while still getting used to his new job. Francis had also kept true to his word and genuinely seemed to be trying to turn over a new leaf. He treated Matthew and Tino to a free lunch on Thursday to thank them for their hard work and Tino hadn’t sent a single bouquet of flowers to anyone on his behalf, apart from one to Emily Jones’s hotel room, but that was strictly business and making a good first impression or so he had been told. And though Francis however did still enjoy the occasional flirt with a model or stylist, he had toned it down considerably.

Even Arthur seemed pleasantly surprised at Francis’s new approach to his work and even he had not been so highly strung the past week. Truth be told, Tino wouldn’t have noticed this if Matthew didn’t gush at him one afternoon when they had snuck into the copy room together to have a breather for 5 minutes when there was finally a gap in the day that Mr Kirkland had actually noticed how hard he had worked at making sure an important advertising meeting was a success.

It had also been nearly two weeks since Lars had been staying with Lukas, Tino and Emil. At first Lukas was worried about how Emil would react and adjust to seeing Lars after such a long time and had expected it to be a negative reaction. But he had been surprised at how quickly Emil became comfortable around his father and how much Lars had taken to Emil. Lukas would get up in the mornings to find that Emil was already awake and speaking to their dad over breakfast and had stopped sleeping in and relying on Lukas to wake him. Something about this unnerved Lukas a little as he wondered if Emil would revert back to his old ways once it was time for Lars to leave again, but more so he was comforted by Emil’s more independent behaviour.

It was early, around 10am, and Lars and Emil had gone for a walk as the weather was nice and fresh, leaving Tino watching TV on the couch still in his t-shirt and boxers that he had slept in up in their apartment and enjoying some time to himself. Lukas was down in the bookshop just finishing ringing up some geography textbooks for a customer when the bell above the door chimed again as more people entered.

“I’ll be right with you.” Lukas said, not looking up from the sale until he handed a paper bag with the books in to his customer and they had turned to leave. Then he walked around the counter to approach the pair that had come in but stopped when he recognised one of them.

“Oh, mornin’ Christina.” He said relaxing a little, eyeing the taller blonde man who was with her. “Tino’s upstairs if you wanna go up through the back.” Lukas pointed behind him to the door leading to the stairs to his apartment.

Christina had a huge smile on her face, which wasn’t out of place for her, but this morning it was wider than usual as she shook her head,

“Nope, we’re actually here to see you, Lukas! Do you have a minute to chat? I think you’re gonna wanna hear this!” she said enthusiastically.

Lukas looked between Christina and her companion for a moment before simply nodding and slipping past them to flip the sign on the front door to ‘back in 10 minutes’.

The three of them took a seat in the back room and Christina introduced Lukas to Berwald. The two shook hands and Lukas then sat with one leg crossed over the other and listened as Christina began to tell him why they were there.

“So, I’m guessing that Tino already told you about Icon covering Lucille Marcon’s book launch next week,” she said, matter of fact.

Lukas’s brows furrowed slightly at the fact that Tino had not, and this was the first time he was hearing about this. He wasn’t sure whether to feel hurt and upset that Tino hadn’t thought to mention this to him, or trust the fact that his friend must have kept this from him for a reason. Trying not to seem too bothered, Lukas flipped his hair from his face with a small jerk of his head and folded his arms.

“What does that have to do with me?” he said coolly, his gaze studying Christina’s face.

She looked a little taken aback at Lukas’s casual reaction as she shifted in her chair a little and took in a breath.

“Well, to cut a long story short, originally we planned to build a set for this shoot to make it seem like Lucille was in a bookstore setting signing a copy of her book and stuff but it was all staged. This was gonna be lots of hard work on Berwald’s part,” she nodded toward him, “so Tino had the idea to use your store to host the photoshoot. Francis and Arthur weren’t too fond of the idea and they shut it down, but Lucille found out that they had consulted this without her she was furious. She said that as a writer she would prefer to be in a real bookstore setting doing a real book signing and not just stood in front of a flimsy set. She was quite passionate about it actually. So basically Francis and Arthur have agreed and want to use your store.” Christina finished and rubbed the back of her neck a little, “Sorry that was a lot to take in.”

Lukas was speechless and fiddled with the strap on his watch for a moment. He could feel his palms beginning to become clammy as he processed exactly what it was that Christina was saying.

“So, what you’re saying is, is that the Lucille Marcon wants to hold a book signing here. In my store. And an article will be published in Icon?” He spoke slowly, not quite believing the words that were coming out of his own mouth and prayed that he hadn’t grasped the wrong end of the stick.

The grin from earlier sprang back to Christina’s lips and she nodded so hard that her long earrings clattered around her. “Yes! It was Tino’s idea, but Francis will most likely take credit now.” She laughed.

“The shoot is on Wednesday so there isn’t really much time to prepare. There are a lot of things to work out so we’ll need you to come by the Publications ASAP, Francis sent us to-”

Berwald held up a hand to cut Christina off,

“He hasn’t even said yes yet. Might not want to.” He said, looking from Christina to Lukas, “What d’ya think? It’ll be a lot of hard work but we’ll do most of it. If there’s anything you’re unsure of you can ask me. Don’t feel pressured into sayin’ anythin’ yet if you wanna think about this.”

Lukas didn’t know what to say, and just gawped at Berwald. The sheer fact alone that one of his favourite authors wanted to do a book signing in his store and that he possibly would get to meet her was enough to have him astounded, not to mention what it might do to his business. But he wanted to talk this through before coming to a decision.

“Can you excuse me for a minute please?” Lukas said as he stood up hastily, hardly waiting for a reply from Christina and Berwald before he raced up the stairs to his apartment two at a time. He threw the front door open and almost stumbled as he tripped over the rug in the hallway. When Lukas appeared in the doorway to the living room he found Tino lay on the couch with a spoonful of ice-cream paused halfway to his mouth, glancing at Lukas from the corner of his eye.

“Lukas? What’s up?” Tino asked, his voice laced with concern before finishing his spoonful and setting down the tub of Ben & Jerry’s on the coffee table.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Lucille Marcon? Your friends are downstairs in the back room and I don’t know what to do.” Lukas’s cheeks were a little flushed and he scraped a hand through his hair as he sunk into the couch next to Tino. Although usually quite calm and collected, Lukas tended to get flustered quite easily when he had something on his mind or when he was overwhelmed.

Tino gasped, “Lu, I didn’t tell you about Icon working with Lucille in case you wanted to meet her or something and I wasn’t able to arrange it for you. I thought it might be better if you didn’t know that I had met her before you ever got the chance!” he spluttered, “And what do you mean my friends are downstairs? Who is it?”

“Christina and some guy called Berwald, they’re here to ask me if the can use my bookshop to host a book signing for Lucille.” Lukas said, his eyes wide and searching Tino’s.

After taking a breath and composing himself he continued, filling Tino in about what Christina had said regarding Arthur and Francis changing their minds about Tino’s idea to use his bookshop and that Francis had sent Christina and Berwald to propose this to him formally.

Tino brought his hands up to his face and cupped his cheeks as he let out a garbled noise of excitement.

“Lukas, this is amazing! You’ve said yes right?”

Lukas’s face crumpled a little as he shook his head, “No, I don’t know if I can. Tino, this is huge. What if it goes wrong?” he said; his voice no more than a whisper.

Taking Lukas’s hand in his, Tino squeezed it tightly, his large brown eyes boring into Lukas’s as he tried to will some confidence into his friend.

“You deserve this Lukas, and if I didn’t think you could do it I would never have suggested this in the first place. Just think about how many people are going to come to your store after this, especially if Lucille wants to host a signing here! It was only a photoshoot and interview originally! It’s not every day a book lover gets to meet their favourite author, right?” Tino enthused, earning a shy smile from Lukas, who nodded and squeezed Tino’s hand back in return.

  
*

After a little more consulting with Tino, Lukas had invited Berwald and Christina up to the apartment to go over all the details for the preparation that would take place over the next few days. Lukas would go with Tino to Icon on Monday morning for a meeting with Francis and to meet Lucille, then on Tuesday Berwald would spend the day in Lukas’s store to set up lights and move in any props or furniture that they may need for the big day on Wednesday. The more they made solid plans the more content Lukas’ seemed to get and Tino had sat back and not said much, enjoying seeing his best friend having a moment in the spotlight.

When there wasn’t anything else left to discuss and Berwald and Christina began to gather their things to leave, Tino took the half full trash bag from the kitchen as an excuse to go with them to Christina’s car. Leaving Lukas in the living room with a fresh and well needed cup of coffee, he followed Berwald and Christina down the outside steps that lead down from their balcony to the street below. As they approached the bottom, Christina said her goodbyes to Tino and headed for her car leaving Berwald and Tino to talk.

“Ber, who was it that told Lucille about Francis and Arthur rejecting the idea of using Lukas’s bookshop? Only you and I were in that meeting…” Tino asked when Christina was out of earshot.

Berwald turned to Tino and smiled coyly, “It was Matthew. I think he’s a bit infatuated with her.” He said, and a low rumbling chuckle escaped him at Tino’s wide eyed expression.

“Oh, of course! Matthew! What a hero, I need to thank him on Monday!” Tino beamed, though feeling bad for forgetting that Matthew was also in their meeting.

Then, a silence fell between Tino and Berwald, and Berwald seemed to be lingering in case Tino had anything else to say. As they stood there on the pavement Tino rather bashfully thought about how handsome Berwald actually was. He was dressed in a black high turtle neck jumper and dark jeans and casual trainers, much different to the white shirt and dirty overalls he wore to work. Tino had the sudden urge to hang out with Berwald and find an opportunity to get to know him a little.

“Say, Ber, do you want to go out of the office for lunch on Monday? Get out of the madness for a while? Especially now that you haven’t got as much work to do, would you be able to spare half an hour?” Tino said before he could stop himself.

Berwald’s cheeks caught a slight pink tinge as he adjusted his glasses and averted Tino’s eye for a moment. Tino was beginning to regret asking as Berwald stood in front of him taking a while to answer.

“Mm, I’d like that.” He said finally, and Tino let out a breath he hadn’t even realised he was holding in relief.

“Great! We’ll I’ll see you on Monday then.” Tino said with a smile as Christina beeped the horn of her car impatiently, waiting for Berwald.

“Yah, see you Monday Tino.” Berwald mumbled to Tino as he turned and walked briskly towards Christina’s car, his face an even deeper shade of pink. Tino stood on the pavement and waved them off until they turned the corner.

Humming a tune to himself in content, Tino swung the bag of rubbish he was holding over his shoulder and walked around the back of Lukas’s shop and off the street into the alleyway where the large trash bins were kept. He grimaced a little has he picked his way through the litter that was strewn across the floor and made a mental note to call the waste collection agency and request a clean-up. Just as he’d tossed the bag into the bin and slammed the lid closed, Tino heard the voices of Emil and Lars coming up the street as they were arriving back from their morning out. Excited to tell Emil the news about the Lucille Marcon signing, Tino began to make his way back towards the opening from the alley and out onto the street, but he stopped suddenly and pressed himself against the wall out of sight when he heard their conversation as they passed him, wanting to listen.

“You can come and stay with me in Norway. I don’t want you ending up like your brother, so you need to make sure you get an education. It might help if you had some time to yourself with me and you could look at some of the colleges in Oslo?” Lars said to Emil. They had stopped at the bottom of the staircase leading up to the apartment.

Tino heard Emil hum in thought before he replied. “I don’t know, Dad. I’m not even sure what I want to study at college. I was thinking of just getting a part time job to help Lukas with some bills and take a year off?” Emil said rather timidly.

Lars sighed, “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Emil. What about studying something universal like engineering? There’s good money in it and you can get jobs all over the world…”

Tino was straining to keep listening to the conversation as Emil and Lars began to walk up the stairs. He could hear blood was rushing through his ears and he gritted his teeth, feeling anger boiling up inside. Since the beginning he knew that Lars must have had an ulterior motive for coming to stay with them but didn’t want to think too much of it, hoping that this was simply just a father trying to make amends with his sons. But instead Lars was hoping to slyly win the affection of his youngest son by playing the doting father, probably knowing fully well that Lukas would see right through his bullshit right away. Although Lars may not have meant anything malicious by saying that he didn’t want Emil to ‘end up like Lukas’ Tino couldn’t help but wonder what else Lars had been whispering into Emil’s ear.

*

Not wanting to cause a fuss and ruin the evening for Lukas as he told his family the news about hosting Lucille’s book signing Tino held his tongue for as long as he could as he sat around the table at dinner. He smiled through the toast that Lars had raised for Lukas, cheered as they clinked their glasses and made small talk, but when Emil and Lukas got up to go through to the living room, Tino stood up and insisted that he would clear away the dishes and that Lars should stay and help, leaving the man of the hour to celebrate with his brother. Lukas was on his fourth glass of wine by this point and didn’t object as he sauntered into the living room and flopping down on the couch with Emil.

Lars and Tino cleared the table in silence, and only once the dishes were all piled by the sink and Lars was stood close enough to Tino that they could talk without being overheard did Tino clear his throat.

“So, when are we going on vacation to your place then? I’ve always wondered what Norway was like.” Tino said, his voice sickly sweet as he pulled on the rubber gloves. He didn’t look at Lars and kept his gaze on the running water in the sink.

“I heard you talking with Emil earlier outside the apartment, and I was wondering if Lukas has an invite to come and live with you too?”

Stealing a quick glance at Lars, Tino saw that his face was a picture of distress, but that soon faded when Lars pretended to be puzzled.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said with a shrug, taking the dish towel from the hook on the cupboard door and tossing it over his shoulder.

Tino laughed, “Oh I think you do. I’m not going to tell Lukas, but I will make myself very clear. You’ve already caused both of your sons a lot of pain, and you’re lucky to have a second chance with them. Please don’t meddle in their life or out stay your welcome or you’ll just lose them forever.”

Turning to finally to face Lars, Tino narrowed his eyes at him, trying to read the emotion on his face and to wait for his reply, but Lars said nothing. Sighing, Tino’s face returned to its normal happy expression as he turned his attention back to washing the dishes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tino don't take no shit.
> 
> I hope this chapter was okay, and I'm sorry if there are any typo's, it's quite late at night. Please let me know what you think, and thanks to everyone who has added a kudos since I posted the chapter 9!
> 
> See you all next chapter!
> 
> -lumassen x


	11. Chapter 11 - Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The art featured in this story is by the amazingly talented @artinoctober with permission to use - you can find them on tumblr! <3

** Chapter 11- Family. **

Tino heaved open the door as he and Berwald rushed into the café they had chosen for lunch, his light laughter filling the entranceway at something Berwald had said. It had begun to pour with rain while they were on their way out of the offices and neither of them had an umbrella. Luckily the café wasn’t too far away, and Tino had held his coat over his head the entire way as a makeshift umbrella, almost running down the street at one point and Berwald had to take large strides to keep up with him.

As the pair stood dripping in the entrance way, Berwald took his glasses off and wiped them dry on the bottom of his shirt the server approached them.

“Wow this rain really came out of nowhere, huh?” she said, “Table for two?”

Tino nodded and made small talk with her as she lead them to an empty table and he and Berwald peeled off their wet coats and hung them on the backs of their chairs as they sat. After leafing through the menu and placing their orders with the server, Tino sat back in his chair and sighed in content.

That morning had gone well for a Monday, despite it being hectic. Lukas had met with Francis first thing about the Marcon signing that would take place on Wednesday and Tino had been rushed off his feet organising the itinerary for the day and communicating with the events and social media marketing team down on the 20th floor as they got the word out about the signing to make sure it would be well attended. Of course it was a very last minute decision to have a book signing as well as the interview, but Lucille was a very popular author and according to Eduard from accounts they had already sold over 100 tickets in a few hours. Tino was relieved when 12pm finally rolled around and had headed to Berwald’s workshop with a spring in his step pretty much exactly as the clock struck noon. He found Berwald covered in sawdust and dressed head to toe in a blue safety suit, as he had obviously lost track of time. Tino waited patiently for him to change before they clocked out of the office for the hour.

“Well, this is nice.” Tino said, smiling over to Berwald, whose hair was still quite wet and he had slicked it back with his hand to stop it dripping on his face.

Berwald nodded and poured himself and Tino a glass of water each from the pitcher in the middle of the table.

“So,” Tino leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table and resting his chin in his palm, “I’m curious, why do you work for Icon?” he said, though once his words had left his lips he realised that he might be prying in something that wasn’t his business and could’ve kicked himself for being so nosey, but Berwald just laughed a little to himself as he unfolded his napkin and laid it on his lap.

“If you’re wonderin’ what a boring guy like me is doing working for a fashion magazine then I can’t really help ya there because I wonder the same thing sometimes.”

Tino felt face heat as he hurried to correct Berwald, “No I didn’t mean it like that! You’re not boring, but I guess you just don’t fit the uh, Icon employee stereotype?” he said, though he knew he was just digging himself into a deeper hole. He reached for his glass of water and took a long sip.

Berwald shrugged. “Neither do you. I wasn’t much different from you I suppose. I finished college and needed to get out of my part time job at a home DIY store so that I could support my fa-“ he quickly stopped himself, and Tino glanced at him over the rim of his glass, “so I could support myself better.” He finished his sentence, avoiding Tino’s gaze. “The salary is good an’ I live nearby, so I didn’t really see a reason to leave.”

Tino wondered what Berwald was going to say before he stopped himself, but didn’t think too much of it as their food arrived. The server put down Tino’s sub sandwich and Berwald jacket potato and asked if they would like anything else before she left the bill on the table and took her leave. The two ate in silence for a few minutes before Berwald spoke again.

“What about you? You always been into fashion?” he asked Tino in between mouthfuls.

He felt a little flattered that Berwald thought of him to be fashionable, or at least interested in it. Usually people leaned more towards thinking of him as being unfashionable. Tino held up a hand to cover his mouth before he spoke, an autonomous habit while he was eating that he developed when he first had his braces fitted in case there was any food stuck in them.

“Not really, I studied English and Journalism at college and nothing to do with fashion, but I’ve always been into wearing loud colours since being a child. Luckily my parents accepted who I was from an early age. I mean it was painfully obvious that I wasn’t like all the other boys anyway.” Tino said and then laughed at something he remembered.

“This one time when I was about 5 or 6, I had a thing for tutu’s, and we needed to go grocery shopping. I had a bright purple tutu on over my clothes and refused to take it off so my mom just let me go to the store with her like that. Lots of people commented on what a cute little girl she had as we did our shopping! But she didn’t seem to care, as long as I was happy.” Tino finished with a small smile.

Berwald and Tino continued to chat as they ate, and they were both nearly finished their meals when Berwald’s phone began to vibrate on the table. He reached for it and glanced at the caller ID on the screen and sighed.

“I know it’s rude, but do you mind if I take this?” he asked.

“Of course not!” Tino said waving a hand in dismissal, and Berwald gave him a faint smile.

“Hi honey, are ya okay?” Berwald said into his phone as he rose from the table and made his way outside for some privacy, leaving Tino alone.

Tino was surprised at how those words Berwald had said to the person on the phone had made him feel as he sat there as if a rock had been thrown at his stomach. Although it could have been anyone on the other end of the phone, surely it must have been a partner or why would he call them ‘ _honey’_? This whole time Tino had just assumed that Berwald was single, and didn’t really think much of it. It wasn’t as though he had a crush on him as he barely knew the guy, but something about the thought that Berwald wasn’t single bothered Tino a lot more than it probably should have.

Fiddling with the napkin by his plate, Tino looked around the café, trying to focus his thoughts on something else but it was no use. Why was this bothering him so much? Suddenly with a loss of appetite, Tino took his phone out of his pocket and opened the front camera and held it up so that he could see himself on the screen. Flashing his teeth at the camera, he noticed that there was a large chunk of lettuce stuck in his braces on the bottom row of his teeth. Rolling his eyes in annoyance, he busied himself by picking it out and observing his features in the image of himself on the screen in front of him. He looked into his own dull eyes, he hated that they were a muddy brown, and then noticed his swollen looking, mishapen mouth from the braces pressing underneath his lips, which were dry and chapped, as he further observed his face.

“Sorry ‘bout that.” Berwald said as he slid back into his chair opposite Tino, who fumbled to quickly lock his phone and shove it back into his pocket.

“No problem! Everything okay?” he said, smiling a little too widely at Berwald.

“Mmhm. Just got to sort something out later.” Berwald nodded, then hesitated a little before speaking again, “Tino, you’ve got something stuck…”he trailed off, pointing to his own teeth and Tino pursed his mouth shut, now wanting nothing more than to go back to the office and bury himself in his work.

\---------------

The rest of Tino’s work day had passed in a haze as he threw himself into the rest of his working day after he got back to the office after lunch. Berwald had insisted that he paid for both of their meals and even offered to walk back in the rain by himself to the office just to get his car and then drive back to pick Tino up so he didn’t have to get wet. Tino had given in to letting Berwald get his lunch, but there was no way he was letting him make such a journey just to stop him from walking in a bit of rain. Both gestures were extremely kind, and if they had occurred before Berwald’s phone call then Tino would have been elated, but now he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had got way too ahead of himself. He hadn’t even realised it before now, but obviously in the back of his mind somewhere he had thought that Berwald might want to get to know him as more than a just friend or work colleague.

Tino kicked an empty discarded soda can away from under his feet as he walked down the street on his way home and tried to carry on walking, but his nagging good conscience stopped him as turned around to pick it up. Angrily, he tossed it into the next trash can that he walked past and inwardly scolded himself. Why didn’t he just ask Berwald who was on the phone, or if he was single? Sure, it was a bit of an awkward question but it would save Tino the trouble of exhausting himself in overthinking.

Although it was only 5:30pm, the winter sky was already dark and the streetlamps had flickered to life, casting pools of light down onto Tino as he walked with his hands now firmly shoved into his pockets. The rain had stopped earlier that afternoon, leaving puddles all over the sidewalk. When he turned the corner he was happy to see the lights glowing warmly from inside his home and he felt instantly better knowing that he would be able to pour his thoughts out to his best friend.

The security light above the door to the back of the shop lit up as Tino approached and took his keys out of his pocket, his fingers numb from the cold. As he opened the door he glanced to his left and noticed that a car was parked in the space next to Lukas’s fiat that he didn’t recognise. Puzzled, he stepped inside and locked the door behind him, and heard the scraping of a chair across the tiles of the kitchen above followed by a loud crash. Unzipping his coat and slipping his scarf from around his neck, Tino hurried up the back stairs and let himself into the apartment.

“I knew it would end up like this!” Lars’s voice boomed through the apartment as Tino threw his coat and scarf onto the hook on the wall.

“Well I didn’t ask you to buy it! I’m not being ungrateful!” Lukas shouted back.

Running down the hall, Tino found Lukas and Lars stood in the kitchen. As he appeared in the doorway, Lukas turned to face him, his expression full of hurt and rage, though this quickly changed to surprise as he glanced between the clock on the kitchen wall and Tino stood in the doorway.

“Oh, Tino…” he said miserably, before sighing and leaning against the countertop, staring at Tino with a furrowed brow.

“And living with a fag isn’t helping you either!” Lars jeered, pointing sharply at Tino.

Tino took a step back and help up his hands, narrowing his eyes at Lars,

“Hang on a minute, who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” he said, then marched around the table to stand by Lukas.

“Lu, what’s going on?” Tino demanded, but Lukas didn’t say anything and just stood rigid, glaring at Lars.

Lars laughed somewhat hysterical, “I’ll tell you what’s goin’ on, Lukas is determined to fuck up this family, and brainwash Emil too while he’s at it!”

Lukas dragged his hands over his face and sighed heavily in exasperation.

“He bought me a new car, but only so he could go behind my back and offer to drive Emil to that fucking concert that he insists on going to with Leon because he technically owns the car and-“ he began, his eyes locking with Tino’s, but Lars interrupted him and slammed his hands down on the table in front of him, causing Lukas to flinch.

“Because I don’t understand what your _problem_ is Lukas! The kid is 17 and you still dictate whether or not he can go to a concert in the city with his friend? Just last night while we were having dinner you pulled him up for having bad manners for pointing with his knife, and a few days ago you corrected him for the way he talks? You’re so stuck up that it’s infuriating! You don’t let the boy _breathe!_ ” Lars was red in the face and had his fists clenched tightly by his side. Lukas on the other hand was pale, and all colour had drained from his face.

“I always had suspicions that you weren’t mine, Lukas… and Jesus that’s confirmed by seeing who you’ve grown up to be.” Lars continued, and Lukas just stood there without saying a word or even trying to interject, taking a lashing from Lars vicious tongue as if it didn’t hurt at all.

Just as Tino was about to cut in and tear Lars a new one, the three of them turned to face the kitchen doorway as they heard a thump as something hit the floor tiles behind them. Emil was stood there with Lars’s bags and coat infront of him where he’d gathered and dropped them in a pile.

“You need to leave, Lars. But first let me show you something.” Emil said. Although his voice was calm, Tino could see that his small frame was visibly shaking. Whether this was from anger, frustration or anxiety Tino wasn’t sure, but Emil had gone from calling Lars ‘Dad’ to using his name all of a sudden.

Lars looked to Lukas for a moment, who was still stood leaning against the countertop staring at Emil in a stunned silence, before shook his head muttered something under his breath while walking over to his youngest son. Emil led him into the living room and stopped by the wall by the window. He pointed to a photograph that was framed and hung on the wall along with many others.

“See this photo? This is me at my primary school graduation, the year that Mom died and you lost custody of me to Lukas.” Emil said, then pointed to the next photograph, “And this one? This is me and Lukas on a camping trip in summer a couple of years ago. Tino took the photo.”

He carried on across the next 6 or so photographs’, describing to Lars what was depicted in the snapshot. One was a picture of Lukas by himself mid-laugh with a paper hat on his head at Christmas caught by Emil, another was Tino and Emil posing with sunglasses on at the beach, and finally a recent selfie of Emil, Lukas and Tino together at a theme park.

Then once he’d finished, Emil turned to Lars, “See how you’re not in any of them, _Dad?_ ” He said, saying the word Dad as if it left a bad taste in his mouth. Tino and Lukas were hovering in the hall as Emil nodded toward them both,

“Lukas is a business owner and has kept a roof over my head and supported me for years, why aren’t you proud of that?” Emil had an incredulous look on his face as he said this, looking up at his father with a sneer on his lips.

“He let you into our home after all you did to him. I know I was young, but not young enough to not realise why he would crawl into bed with me and hold me close when you were downstairs ranting and raving late at night, and not young enough not to realise that when he had a bruise on his arm it wasn’t because he was clumsy…” Emil trailed off, and moved to stand by Tino and Lukas.

“Whether you like it or not, we’re a family without you. Right, Big Bro?” he finished speaking and looked up at Lukas, a sincere smile now on his face as he regarded him with an unmistakable affection. Lukas’s face crumpled on the verge of tears as Emil swung his arm around him, now his turn to protect his brother.  
Lukas closed his eyes for a moment, savouring Emil’s embrace before they fluttered open again and he grinned,

“You know it, ya punk.” He said, and ruffled Emil’s mop of hair.

Lars stood in the middle of the living room, his arms dangling loosely by is sides with a look of both anger and defeat on his dishevelled features.

Tino, who wanted to scream from the top of his lungs with pride for the usually quiet and not so outspoken Emil, sauntered over to grab Lars’s belongings from where Emil had left them in the kitchen and dropped them at his feet.

“Well, shall I call you a taxi then?” he said, the words rolling overly sweet off his tongue.

\--------

After Lars had left, Tino, Lukas and Emil had sat and talked for a very long time. It was rare that the three of them were serious or sincere when together, but after Lars’s performance over the past two weeks it was better to get everything out in the open.

Tino told Lukas what he had heard Lars say to Emil about coming to live with him in Norway, and Lukas was furious. But when Emil explained that he hadn’t even considered the offer he soon calmed down again. It took some time to get it out of him, but Emil eventually admitted that he wasn’t sure what to do after he’d graduated and he was debating getting a job and taking a year out. Lukas was fine with this right away, and had said that he would support Emil with whatever it was that he wanted to do. Clearly, Emil had not expected this as he burst into tears, feeling a huge weight and the pressure he had put on himself suddenly disappear from his shoulders.

Once Emil had fallen asleep on the couch a little while later, Tino and Lukas had shared a bottle of wine between them, neither of them caring that it was only Monday night.

“Hey T?” Lukas prodded Tino in the arm, slightly merry from the wine.

“Mmm?” Tino hummed in response.

“D’ya think I’m stuck up?”

Tino was silent for a minute while he thought how to answer, and only the sound of Emil’s soft snores filled the small living room.

“No, you’re not stuck up, you’re just proud. There’s a difference.” Tino said, finally, finishing the last of his glass, “And you should be. Emil loves you more than you know, and you’ve raised him to be the wonderful, if not slightly strange, boy that he is by yourself.”

Lukas shook his head, “Not by myself, I have you. God, what a weird Trio we are, huh?” he said with a laugh.

Tino raised his empty glass to Lukas, and when Lukas raised his back, he clinked them together, “I like being a weird Trio.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this was a bit angsty for everyone lol, but I really wanted to try and write something for Lukas and Emil and their relationship. I love some whale bros. Hopefully it's written okay, I know it's very dialogue heavy but yolo.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you all next chapter!
> 
> -lumassen


	12. Chapter 12 - Feelings

**Chapter 12 – Feelings**

Emil flopped onto the bed and laid out flat on his front, swinging his legs behind him. He chewed messily on a piece of gum and watched Lukas as he stood in front of the mirror on the front of his wardrobe adjusting his tie. The two brothers had escaped upstairs to their apartment for a breather while the finishing touches were being made in the bookstore for Lucille’s arrival. A queue had been forming outside on the street since the crack of dawn, and Lukas had been nervously peering out of the window every now and again until the line of people began to disappear around the corner. Emil had insisted that he take the day off school to help Lukas with the day ahead, and as butterflies now started to form in his stomach Lukas was glad of his little brother’s company.

He hadn’t slept well last night, or the night before either in fact, the words of his father polluting his thoughts. Although he now knew that Emil didn’t long for a relationship with Lars, Lukas couldn’t help but wonder how different things might have been if he had been brought up in a ‘normal’ family environment. What was bothering him the most was that Lars had said that he didn’t think that he was his own son, and it pained him to think about it. Had Lars always had this suspicion? Or did he just hate Lukas so much that he simply didn’t even want to think of him as his own flesh and blood? Now that he thought about it, their Dad had always seemed to favour Emil over him throughout their youth.

Eventually after a lot of tossing and turning, Lukas had gotten out of bed and crept into the living room just in case Tino was awake, wanting to empty his mind. Rubbing his tired eyes he stood in the doorway and squinted into the dark room. Once they had adjusted, he saw Tino sprawled out across the sofa bed fast asleep. Not wanting to wake or disturb his friend, Lukas tried to bury all of his thoughts at the back of his mind. Though before turning to head back to bed, he glanced at the wall to his right where all of the family photos hung that Emil had shown to Lars before he left on Monday night and a lump formed in his throat as he let his eyes wander over them. No matter how low he might feel at times, his found family were always there to help keep his head above water.

“Hello? Earth to Lukas?” Lukas was brought out of his thoughts as Emil’s voice spoke up from behind him. He turned around and looked at his brother as he rolled off the bed and stood next to him in front of the mirror,

“What?”

“While you were distracted by how ugly that blue and white striped shirt looks with that red tie, I said, that you’ve got a text off some guy called Matthias. He’s asking about the car.” Emil said casually, fixing his hair in the mirror while he held Lukas’s phone out to him that he’d left on the bed. Lukas snatched it from his hands and shoved it in his back pocket,

“Who said you could read my text messages, you terror? That’s private.”

Emil had dressed in his best shirt and slacks to help out in the store today, and Tino had sat him down in the kitchen and trimmed his hair last night to make sure that he was presentable. As he stood side by side with Lukas in the mirror, his older brother couldn’t help but notice just how tall he was getting. In the past few months he had shot up like a weed and was now just a few centimetres shorter than Lukas.

“And before you start calling me out for my clothes, you should really do something about that peach fuzz you’re trying to call facial hair on your top lip.” Lukas finished with a smirk, causing Emil to turn bright red and hit him across the back of the head.

“It’s not my fault I have pale hair! I’d like to see you try and grow a beard if you’re gonna diss mine!” he retorted.

Lukas couldn’t help but laugh as Emil pressed his face so close to the full length mirror that his breath fogged it up a little while trying to get a good look at his top lip.

Suddenly there was a loud cheer outside as the crowd of people began to clap, most probably at the arrival of Lucille. Excitedly, Emil ran to the window and leaned on the ledge to peer down at the street as the Lukas’s bedroom door flew open and Tino burst in, his breathing heavy and a thin layer of sweat had formed on his forehead was causing his hair to stick to it.

“What are you two doing up here!? I’ve been running around in circles all morning to make sure that this goes smoothly for you and you’re not even downstairs to greet Lucille!?” Tino yelled, standing in the doorway and pointing with his finger in the direction of the front door.

“Go! Now!”

Lukas and Emil glanced at each other and hurried for the door feeling like naughty children under Tino’s glare, knowing that if they valued their lives they shouldn’t make an already flustered Finn repeat himself. Squeezing past Tino, Lukas went first down the narrow back stairs leading to the shop, followed by Emil and then Tino in tow. Lukas’s heart was hammering in his chest as he reached the bottom of the stairs, the voices that filled his shop growing louder with each step. He paused at the bottom, his legs like lead.  
Tino stepped behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a little pat.

“Go on, Lu. This is your day.” Tino said, the happiness radiating in his voice for his friend, as he gave Lukas a gentle push into the store. As he emerged through the back door to the shop, the entirety of the room began to clap and cheer. Lucille spotted him and made her way over. Her smile was wide, from ear to ear, and she had her arms outstretched as she approached Lukas, placing a gentle hand on each of his forearms as she dusted a French kiss over his cheeks.

“It’s wonderful to meet you, Lukas, I’ve heard so much about you.” She said to him quietly before pulling away and turning to face the room as camera’s flashed. Lukas was already dreading how he was going to look in the photos, as he was both star struck at meeting his idol and basking in the fact that such an event was being held in _his_ store. But couldn’t help but smile and willed himself to stand up straight and be confident while Lucille posed with him for a few more moments.

Looking around the shop and at the sea of people before him as Lucille began to address them with her speech, Lukas felt a little better at seeing a familiar face as he caught Christina’s eye across the room from where she was stood with Francis and Arthur. She gave him thumbs up and motioned for him to remember to breathe by inhaling and then puffing out animatedly. The store was full to the brim with people, with even more were queuing outside, and it was enough to send an introverted Lukas’s head spinning, so he kept his eyes on her for a moment and took a deep breath as she had indicated.

Only when Lucille turned to him did he tear his eyes away from Christina.

“We’ll talk properly later, but thank you for letting us use your wonderful store today.” She said to Lukas with a smile before she made her way over to the table at the foot of the line of fans and smoothed her skirts before she sat. The security guard then lifted the rope separating her from them and the first few rushed forward, chattering excitedly at her.

The atmosphere in the store was perfect, and Lukas revelled in it for a moment, looking around at excited faces of his fellow booklovers as they waited for Lucille to take her seat, then watched as Tino disappeared into the crowd, Francis following close behind, and Emil began to set himself up behind the cash register. Taking another deep breath in through his nose, Lukas rolled his shirt sleeves up as the first group of customers approached him, and he listened patiently as they asked him where they could find Lucille’s book to purchase before leading them over to the display table with pleasure.

*

A few hours into the book signing, Emil and Lukas had found a working rhythm that seemed to be going rather smoothly for them in all of the madness. Never in his life had Lukas seen this shop this busy, and he probably never would again. If Emil hadn’t skipped school today there’s no way he would have coped by himself. As well as selling copies of Lucille’s new book to customers who then got in line to have it signed by her in person, customers were also browsing the store and all of its sections and books were flying off the shelves.

While Emil manned the cash register and rang through purchases, Lukas stayed on the shop floor as much as he could, restocking copies of Lucille’s books from the back room whenever the display table started to get low, as well as helping customers find what they were looking for and recommending books to them. His cheeks ached from smiling at customers and his throat was sore from talking so much, but he was revelling in every minute of it. Every time Lukas passed Tino on the shop floor as he either lead Francis around or worked to keep the press in order the two kept pinching each other playfully, neither of them not quite believing the sheer scale of what today had turned out to be.

At present, Lukas was stooped down and busy re-organising the small shelves of children’s fiction as best he could while families were still milling around and little hands would grasp at the bright coloured books only moments after Lukas had just straightened them. Laughing to himself in spite of their innocence, he stood up and decided to do this task later once the swell of people in the store had quietened. While walking away from the children’s corner and over to non-fiction, Lukas spotted a familiar head of ginger hair amongst the crowd of customers. He stopped and took off his reading glasses so that he could take a better look, but instantly regretted it when Matthias must have felt eyes on him as he turned round and noticed Lukas. Muttering under his breath, Lukas folded his glasses and slipped them into the front pocket of his shirt as Matthias approached him.

“Hey! Fancy running into you here!” Matthias beamed, stopping in front of him.

“What’re ya doing here? You a fan of Lucille Marcon? My sister is here somewhere and I’ve brought lunch for her.” Matthias said, asking multiple questions at once but not really waiting for Lukas’s answer as he held up a brown paper bag. He looked out of place stood in the middle of a bookstore with his cafe uniform on; his black apron sporting a splodge of mustard on the front.

Lukas avoided Matthias’s gaze and twirled a lock of his hair around his finger in an attempt to act casual,

“Erm, yeah I’m a pretty big fan of hers.” He said, still not wanting to reveal to Matthias that this was in fact his store, and that’s why he was here, though withholding this was soon in vain as his eyes widened at the sound of Emil calling him from across the store. Matthias turned around and Lukas peered over Matthias shoulder as they both looked over at Emil struggling to serve customers fast enough as the queue began to spill out of the door. For a moment Lukas thought about ignoring him and playing off to Matthias that it was coincidence that there was another Lukas in the room. He raked a hand through his hair, annoyed at himself for allowing himself to be distracted on a day like this and take his attention off running the store for even a few minutes.

“Sorry, but I have to go.” He apologised and pushed past Matthias, but stopped when a hand landed on his shoulder.

“Hey, what are you-“ Lukas began, turning back around swiftly on his heel and frowning up into Matthias’s freckly face.

“Hang on, you work here? I know you live above but I didn’t think…” Matthias said as his hand slipped from Lukas’s shoulder, a look of admiration now etched on his face.

“I love supporting small businesses, it must be pretty cool to work here! Do you know the owner or something?” Matthias continued, asking yet another question.

Loosening the knot on his tie Lukas studied Matthias for a moment, then sighed and undid the tie all together, sliding it from around his neck and stuffed it into his back pocket, suddenly feeling the pressure of how busy the store really was. Despite this, from the way Matthias was looking at him, Lukas felt a sudden pride that this was his store and a confidence in himself as a business owner. He pulled his shoulders back and stood up straight.

“Thank you. And yes, I do know the owner. It’s me. Now please, excuse me.” He said simply with a modest smile, turning away from Matthias to go and assist a rather frantic Emil. He could feel Matthias eyes on the back of him and once behind the counter Lukas dared to look back to the spot where he’d let Matthias standing in the hopes that he might still be stood there, but he just caught the back of that mess of hair again disappearing into the crowd of people instead. Why did he care what Matthias thought about him and his store? He shook his head and returned his attention to the line of customers on the other side of the counter.

\----------

After the book signing had drawn to a close at around 2pm and the last few customers were filtering out, Tino was sat with Christina in the corner of the store. They had pulled the little chairs over from the kids’ corner that were the only spare seats currently in the store, and Tino’s calves ached from sitting so low down on the tiny plastic chair.

Though he was glad that the signing had gone well, he was exhausted despite only being half way though his work day. He sat slumped in his seat and wiped his forehead on the back of his arm before taking a large gulp of cold water. When he applied for the internship at Bonnefoy publications, Tino had hoped to land a job that was a little more suited to his degree in English and Journalism. Perhaps a writer, or a co-ordinator, maybe even a proof reader for a literature column or one of the smaller national magazines about cooking or knitting or something. The last thing he expected was to be offered the role of an assistant to the editor of a global fashion monthly and number one grossing magazine in the whole publications.

The whole morning he’d been chasing after photographers, reporters, and vital members of Icon who made up the event at the drop of Francis’s hat, while Francis and Arthur took most of the credit for just being in the room. At first this had irritated Tino, as having the shoot in Lukas’s store was his idea after all, but after several words of kindness from people whose opinions mattered to him like Emil, Christina, Lukas and Matthew about how the day had turned out he didn’t feel so bad.

Screwing the top back onto his reusable water bottle and setting it down on the floor beside his chair, Tino looked at Christina. Now it was her turn to wait for orders from Francis as she sat patiently with a change of clothes for Lucille’s photo shoot draped over her knee, neatly pressed and in a protective dry cleaning bag. He followed her gaze and noticed that she was watching Lukas as he stood talking with Lucille, his soft laugher filling the now quiet room at something she said. Her finger was tracing small circles on her knee as she watched him, her expression soft.

Tino had been wondering why Christina was at the store when she wasn’t really needed until after the signing was over and it was time to get Lucille ready, as of course her main role at Icon was wardrobe, but now it was painfully obvious. Feliciano, who was the stylist working with her for this shoot, had only arrived little over an hour ago for example as he wasn’t needed until now whereas Christina had been milling about on the sidelines all morning. Observing her now as she sat next to him, Tino broke into a grin as he sat forward in his chair and placed his elbows on his knees, chin in palm.

“He’s handsome, isn’t he?” he said.

She hummed in response, not really giving Tino her full attention for a moment until she realised what he’d said and quickly turned to face him.

“Wait, who are we talking about?”

Tino sat back again in his chair and spread his legs out in front of him.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe the tall blond you were staring at who just so happens to be single?” Tino teased, laughing as Christina began to turn pink from the neck up. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t know why he hadn’t noticed this sooner. If the way that Christina had acted the first time she met Lukas at their apartment and learned that he wasn’t his boyfriend wasn’t a dead giveaway then the fact that she always found an excuse to come up to their apartment in the morning when she picked him up for work definitely was.

“Do you like him?” he asked and wiggled his eyebrows at Christina.

She rolled her eyes and played with a tight curl of her hair,

“You say it as if we’re high schoolers. _Yes_ , I think your best friend is hot, but I don’t _like_ him.” She said in a huff, then tucked her hair back into place behind her ear.

“Okay then, whatever you say~” Tino continued playfully. Though he quite liked the idea of playing match maker with his friends, he didn’t want to annoy her so he dropped the subject and they began to talk about other things.

Tino listened as Christina began to tell him about a movie she watched a couple of nights ago, but zoned out as the bell chimed above the door to Lukas’s shop and Berwald stepped inside, taking a black beanie from his head as he ducked under the doorframe. He watched over Christina’s shoulder as Berwald faltered in the middle of the room and glanced around as though looking for someone. His gaze kept flickering between Christina and Berwald as he tried to remain interested in Christina’s movie, but she soon noticed that Tino wasn’t listening anymore and turned to see what he caught his attention.

If this had been a few days ago, Tino would have jumped at the chance to talk to Berwald, but now he was almost shying away. He was annoyed at himself for expecting Berwald to be open with him about his private life. As well as not expecting himself to work for a fashion magazine, Tino was shocked at himself for hankering a little after Berwald, especially as he and Marcus hadn’t long been broken up. Was Berwald just a conveniently handsome rebound for his feelings now that he was single?

“Hey Ox, over here!” Christina called to Berwald, waving her hand to beckon him over to them. Tino was surprised at the nickname ‘Ox’ from shortening his last name that Christina had used. If there was one thing Tino was still glad about however as a result of making an effort to get to know Berwald, it was the fact that he had helped Berwald to interact with more people at Icon as he got settled into his new friendship group, and since working on both the Lucille Marcon shoot and upcoming Emily Jones designer editorial together, Berwald and Christina had formed a rather unexpected bond.

Berwald made his way over and sat down hesitantly in the tiny chair next to Christina, unzipping his coat as he did so. Tino had to suppress a laugh at the sight of Berwald’s tall frame squashed onto a chair several sizes too small for him.

He and Christina talked for a few minutes about the photoshoot that would be taking place soon, and Christina relayed information from Francis to Berwald about how he wanted to set to look. Berwald took out a small notepad and pencil from his coat pocket as Christina spoke, whetting the pencil tip on his tongue before scribbling down some notes in scruffy scrawl. Tino observed his hands as he wrote, half hoping to see a ring on his finger or something to indicate that the person Berwald was speaking to on the phone the other day was definitely a partner just to stop him thinking about it, but his hands were bare save for a small band-aid across his right knuckle. Then when Berwald snapped the notebook shut and Christina began to gather her things and stand up did Tino look up and Berwald caught his eye.

“Right well, I’d better go and pry Lukas away from Lucille,” Christina said as she hung the dry cleaning bag over her arm, “Berwald we’ll be ready to start getting the set ready in like… 10 minutes?”

He nodded, “Gotcha. Won’t be long.” He said as she took her leave.

Tino followed her with his eyes as she approached Lukas and Lucille, then turned to Berwald.

“So… I’ve just found out that Christina likes Lukas.” Tino told Berwald and nodded over in the direction to where they were standing across the room.

Berwald chuckled a little and pushed his hair out of his eyes. It had grown a little since Tino had first met him.

“That so?” he replied, and Tino nodded, wanting to kick himself at his lame attempt at a conversation topic until he found an opportunity in it. Feeling daring, as the conversation was casual enough, he cast his gaze away from Berwald and looked around the room feigning indifference,

“Is there anyone you like? At Icon I mean?” he asked.

Narrowing his eyes at Tino, Berwald stared at him for a moment, and Tino was worried that he’d pried too much.

“Why’d you ask?” was all Berwald said, and Tino shrugged.

“No reason, I was just wondering. Sorry.” is all Tino could think of to answer, though he knew full well why he’d asked. It was a crafty way for him to try and gauge whether Berwald was straight or not.

Only the sound of background chatter that floated around the shop could be heard for a few seconds too many as Tino began to feel uncomfortable under Berwald’s scrutiny, wishing he’d never even brought the topic up. He watched as Berwald’s eyes ran over him behind his glasses, and was about to ask him what it was that he were staring at when he finally spoke, breaking the silence.

“You look nice today. Had a good morning?” he said, clearly trying to lighten the mood.

Tino felt his face heat at the compliment as he glanced down at his outfit, secretly pleased that Berwald had noticed as he’d spent a lot of time getting ready this morning. He wanted to look smart for Lukas’s big day, and earlier in the week he’d splashed out on a new pair of dogtooth patterned suit trousers with a bow tie to match. He felt great in it, now even more so.

“Thanks, Ber,” he said, flashing a metallic smile, “Yeah, this morning’s been good. Hectic, but good. There’s still so much to do back at the office though, I don’t wanna think about it.” He pushed the heels of his palms to his eyes at the thought of all the paperwork on his desk.

“What time do ya need to be back?” Berwald looked at his watch then glanced at Tino over the rim of his glasses, “I’ll be done here in a half hour or so, could give you a lift back in the car?” he said as he began to stand.

Tino hesitated, driving himself mad with the autonomous thought that Berwald was offering him a ride back to the office just as an excuse to spend time with him and not just because he was a thoughtful co-worker. For his own sake if anything, Tino thought it best to keep his distance from Berwald for a while, especially if he did have a potential lover.

He shook his head, “No it’s okay, I’ll walk back.” He said, not expecting Berwald’s face to fall as much as it did when he declined.

“Oh. Okay.” Berwald simply said, then glanced over the top of Tino’s head.

Looking over his shoulder to see where Berwald was looking, Tino turned around just in time as Lukas flung an arm around his neck and brought him into an awkward hug while trying not to spill anything from either of the two champagne flutes that he held in his hands.

“Tino Väinämöinen, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had, ya know that?” Lukas spoke into his neck before pulling away, his cheeks flushed with glee. Tino hadn’t seen Lukas this jovial or carefree since they were in college and could have cried with happiness at the sight. He took the glass of champagne that Lukas gave to him and smiled widely at him as he carried on,

“You won’t believe how much money we’ve made. Emil’s just finished counting the register. Tino, I can pay off so many debts!” Lukas exclaimed, seeming to be almost drunk on sheer joy alone, and Tino glanced around him to make sure no one was listening to Lukas talk so openly about his financial situation. He noticed when looking around that Berwald was no longer standing behind him, and he quickly searched the store for any trace of him before inwardly sighing and turning his attention back to Lukas, not wanting to overshadow his friend’s moment with his own petty feelings.

“Lu, that’s amazing!” Tino said as Emil came bounding over to them.

“Even better now that Francis is handing out free drinks,” Emil said, holding up his glass of champagne.

If today were a normal day, Lukas would have probably limited Emil to one alcoholic drink or possibly even none at all, but after the success of today he couldn’t care less. It had been a while since he had felt this much self love, and he simply basked in the feeling of being surrounded by his two favourite people, giddy with pride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've re-written this chapter so many times, and I'm still not 100% happy with it but I just can't focus on it anymore :') it's been my punishment for having too many side plots and characters probably lol
> 
> I hope you enjoy, sorry if some parts read weird. Thanks for reading! x
> 
> Edit: did I ever explain that Lucille is human Monaco? If you didn't figure it out, sorry I forgot to mention that!


	13. Chapter 13 - Alice

**Chapter 13 - Alice**

Emil sat in the clinical waiting room, his butt already growing numb from sitting on the hard plastic chair for so long. His eyes were glued downcast at his phone as he played around with filters and emoji’s on the snapchat selfie he had taken with Tino before he’d left Emil in the waiting room when his name was called. In the photo, his face was squashed closely with Tino's, and Tino was smiling so widely that his eyes were nothing more than two thin creases above his round cheeks.

Tapping the thin text bar on the picture, Emil wrote the caption ‘brb, this guy is getting a new smile’ and then added a sparkle gif over Tino’s braces, grinning to himself before posting the photo to his snapchat story.

After the success of the Lucille Marcon signing and interview, Lukas’s bookshop was still busy even weeks after. A new generation of book lovers had discovered his store during the signing, and they kept coming back. Although Lukas knew that it would probably die back down eventually, he didn’t want to miss a beat and was working hard at keeping the store open 7 days a week.

It had been 3 weeks since the signing, and last week Lukas had called the local orthodontist and arranged for Tino to finally have his braces removed as an odd little surprise, paying for it all himself with the money the shop had started to bring in. More overwhelmed with the gesture than he should have been when his appointment card came in the post, Tino had ugly cried for a good 20 minutes and wouldn’t stop hugging his best friend. It was the least that Lukas could do to repay Tino after everything he had done for him, but it was a pretty good start.

After scrolling the entire contents of his Instagram feed, then his tumblr dashboard, followed by a 10 minute vine compilation video, Emil was starting to get bored as his eyes flickered to the clock and sighed dramatically, causing the elderly man sat a few chairs down to turn and look at him. Then, just as he cast his attention back to his phone and opened his facebook app, the door to the room that Tino was in cracked open, and Tino’s usual bubbly chatter began to spill out into the waiting room. Emil watched the back of him as he walked out of the room with the orthodontist and over to the front desk to sign some paperwork, still talking away, his hands animated.

Standing up to stretch his numb legs and to gather his coat and backpack, Emil took his ear buds out, slid his phone into his pocket and waited for Tino to make his way over.

“Thank you so much! You’re my hero!” Tino beamed to the orthodontist as he shook her hand before turning to Emil, his brows raised in excitement.

“Well?” Emil said as Tino approached him, a ball of cotton wool stuffed against the inside of his right cheek.

“Cripes, did it hurt? Your mouth is bleeding…” he continued, eyeing Tino’s amusingly misshapen mouth.

Emil had an incredibly low pain threshold, and had refused to have braces of his own fitted to fix the relatively large gap that he had between his two front teeth after hearing Tino’s horror stories of snapped wires and sharp metal tooth caps over the years.

Tino held his hand over his mouth as he spoke, “It hurt a little. They’d been on for such a long time that my gums had started to grow over the caps on my teeth at the back, which is the reason for the cotton wool.” He said with a shrug, and Emil visibly cringed. Compared to Emil, Tino’s pain threshold was off the scale, nothing seemed to bother him.

“Quit it with the gory details and just show me your teeth already!” Emil huffed and started to put his coat on, though pausing with his arm halfway through the sleeve when Tino whipped his hand away from his mouth and grinned broadly at him.

“Oh my god, Tino you look like a completely different person, it’s so weird!” Emil exclaimed as Tino fished around in his mouth to remove the cotton wool, giving Emil another smile.

“I know, right?” Tino flipped his hair out of his eyes and tossed the soggy, blood stained wool into the trash as they began to head out of the surgery. “Talking is so strange without them on, my lips feel like they’re too big for my mouth now, and I can’t stop running my tongue over my teeth.” He said, jumping off the last step of the staircase with a spring in his step.

“Who’d have thought it, finally there’s something straight about my Aunt Tino. His teeth.” Emil said as he heaved open the doors of the surgery and stepped out into the warm April sunshine.

“Oh my god, I’ve gotta put that as the caption on my next snapchat of you.” Emil grinned in amusement as Tino shoved him playfully and he stumbled for a moment before he regained his footing.

It was spring break, and Emil had two weeks off from school. The school liked to think that spring break was the ideal time for final year students to study before their exams, but in reality most of them just drank and partied themselves silly for it was their only chance of freedom before the exam prep actually began. Although Lukas was still happy to support Emil in whatever it was he wanted to do when he graduated, whether that was go to college or not, he had still been very clear that he still expected his little brother to pass his exams with high grades. If he wasn’t going to go to college then he would at least need good high school grades to get himself noticed in the working world.

Emil had accompanied Tino to the orthodontist this morning not just for moral support, but also because he had a job interview on this side of the city and it made sense to travel in on the train with Tino. As he was only 17 and never held a job before, all but one of his applications had been rejected. The job was nothing special, it was just as a store assistant in a convenience store, but the shifts were suitable around flexible around his school hours and the wage was decent. Since Lukas’s business had taken off, he’d told Emil that he didn’t have to get a job because he felt like he had to, but Emil had insisted that he wanted to anyway. It would give him a little independence and a small income stream of his own.

“So, are you all set for you interview?” Tino asked as he sped his pace up a little to meet Emil’s as the pair walked back toward the train station.

“I guess I am. I don’t really know what to expect.” Emil said with a shrug. Although he spoke confidently, internally he was fretting and half wanted to just go home and not bother.  
Tino laughed a little, “Well it’s not even like I can give you advice, I got hired without an interview just so I would repulse my boss!” he said as he stared a little sheepishly down at the asphalt as he walked.

“Well, you just gotta go into the office and shove your new pearly whites’ right in his face. Then they’ll see just how wrong they are about you.” Emil leant down a little to look into Tino’s downcast face as they came to a stop outside the train station.

Tino looked up at Emil, who was now a good inch or so taller than him, and couldn’t help but feel a proud. He had watched Emil grow from the small, timid boy who always hid behind his big brother, to the tall, quietly confident albeit a little awkward, teen that stood before him dressed smartly in his shirt and slacks, hair swept back a little tidier than usual. 

Tino smiled at Emil, still relishing in the feeling of how his lips no longer tugged and strained over his braces as he did so, “What time is the interview?”

“12pm, so I’ve still got an hour to get there. It’s not far so I think I’m gonna go and grab a coffee first.” Emil said as he unzipped his coat. The April weather was unusually, yet pleasantly, warm.

Tino stepped forward and brought Emil into a quick hug, squeezing him tightly, “Hey Tino, you’re gonna crease my shirt, stop!” Emil said as he wriggled out of Tino’s grip.

  
Then, at the sound of the train rumbling into the station, Tino hastily let go anyway to Emil's relief.

“Shit! My train! Good luck, Emmie! I'll see you tonight!" Tino flapped as he turned on his heel and broke into a run as he rushed for the platform. He glanced at the LED lettering on the side of the train reading ‘City Centre’ and hopped into the carriage just as the doors were closing, releasing a breath in relief as he grabbed hold of the rail to steady himself as the train started into motion.

Francis had kindly given Tino the morning off to allow for the surprise appointment, and Tino was thankful considering how short notice it was. He hadn’t specified what time he wanted Tino back in the office and it wouldn’t have mattered too much if Tino missed this train and had to wait half an hour for the next one, but he wanted to make sure he didn’t get behind on his work too much.

As Tino got off the train at its last stop right in the middle of the city around 20 minutes later, he found that he was smiling at everyone who caught his eye as they passed by in the commuter rush no longer feeling self-conscious of his smile or his teeth. It didn’t take long to walk to the Bonnefoy offices from the train station, and after a quick stop for a bagel from the cart on the street outside, one for him and one for Christina, Tino briskly walked through the foyer and greeted the concierge as he stepped into the elevator. The doors slid closed and he turned to look at himself in the mirror.

Over the past few weeks, Tino had made a conscious effort to get into the routine of walking to and from work. Partially because Lukas was working so much in the store at the moment that he didn’t have time to taxi Tino around anymore, but also because he liked the exercise. Apart from days where there was a shoot or a lunch meeting and Tino was running around like a headless chicken all day, the majority of the time he was sat at his desk for hours on end buried in paperwork and swamped with phone calls, and so walking home after a long day of sitting down felt nice.

Pushing his soft blond hair behind his ears, Tino once again smiled at himself in the mirror. Since starting walking he'd lost 3 pounds, which might not seem like a lot to anyone, but the knowledge of the fact now combined with his lack of braces made him feel great. He had an air of sudden confidence about him which he hoped would last a while.

  
The elevator came to a halt, and Tino knew the ride up like clockwork by now, knowing exactly how long it took from the ground floor to his final stop and had turned to face the doors before the automatic recorded voice could read out 'Floor 35'. He stepped out when the doors open, greeting Eduard and Toris as they walked past, coffees in hand on their way to a meeting, and made his way to his desk.

"Happy first no braces day!" Christina cried and leapt up from her desk as Tino turned the corner. She stopped in front of him and brought him into a perfumed hug before stepping back and placing her hands on his shoulders, holding him back at arm's length while he flashed her a grin and over-fluttered his eyelashes at her in a comical fashion. He handed her bagel to her and they both took a seat at their respective desks.

"You look great, Tino. Honestly." Christina said, smiling at him softly for a moment before she turned her attention to her bagel, pulling it from the paper bag and tucking in.

"Thanks, I feel good. Really good." He replied as he busied himself with his own bagel, pausing for a moment before he bit into it. With his mouth full he mumbled to Christina, "And no more food in my teeth! I can eat _toffee_ now!" and she burst out laughing.

Glancing over the top of his computer as he waited for it to boot up, Tino caught Francis's eye through the glass wall of his office in front of him from where he was sat in a meeting with Arthur, Feliciano and a stylist who's name escaped Tino from the 32nd floor.

Francis peered over the top of their heads and stuck both of his thumbs up enthusiastically over his head, grinning at Tino then pointed to his own teeth causing the company of the room to look over their shoulder to see who Francis was motioning to. Suppressing a laugh, Tino stuck his thumb up back at Francis and he too grinned widely showing off his teeth. Over the past few weeks Tino had gotten to see a little more of his boss’s goofier side as the two developed a good working relationship.

Shaking his head in fondness, Tino returned his attention to his desk and began to sort through the pile of outgoing mail on his desk that he needed to send out when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Normally Tino didn't get his phone out at work to avoid distraction but he hoped that this would be a text from Emil about the interview, so just this once he slipped it from his back pocket and scrolled down on the notification bar.

' _Berwald Oxenstierna has sent you a friend request._ '

He stared at the Facebook notification, his finger hovering over it on his phone screen.

Since the Marcon signing, Tino had been trying to keep his distance from Berwald. He'd declined invites for lunch that Berwald had sent to his work email and 'misplaced' the sticky note with the Swedes unmistakable scrawl on it that he'd found on his desk one morning stuck to a small box of cookies that Berwald somehow found out were Tino's favourite. Still, he polished off the cookies even though he felt bad about it.

At first Tino had tried to just pass it off that Berwald was simply just trying to be friendly, but as the past few weeks had gone by it was now becoming clear that this was most likely Berwald’s strange way of flirting with Tino. Christina seconded this as she helped Tino eat the cookies. In a way he was flattered. Berwald was a good looking man, and if he _was_ flirting with him, then Tino was astonished that someone like Berwald would even be attracted to him at all.

Inhaling sharply through his nose, Tino tapped on the notification and opened Facebook, then clicked on Berwald’s profile. Of course, it was completely private apart from a couple of profile pictures.

Glancing over at Christina to find that she was engrossed in looking at something on her computer screen, bagel still in hand, Tino cast his eyes back to his phone and selected Berwald’s profile photo. It was a nice photo, Berwald was stood in the beach and someone else had taken the photo, a black and white filter over it. He looked handsome, the filter bringing out the angular bones of his face.

Swiping across the screen, Tino flicked past the next few photos, one of Berwald in what looked like a bar with some friends, one of a beat up looking Volvo, and then he stopped on one of Berwald and a pretty woman with strawberry blonde hair. It looked like a selfie, and Berwald was stood with his head close to hers, his arm slung around her shoulder. Berwald looked a little younger, and when Tino looked at the date at the bottom of the screen he saw it was dated October 27th, 2013.

Then as he looked back at the photo, his breath caught in his throat as he noticed a tiny yet significant detail. Berwald’s hand was resting on the woman's shoulder in the corner of the photo, and there it was. A thin silver band on his ring finger. Had Tino got this all wrong? Was this woman Berwald’s wife? His mind buzzed. He didn't want to over think the situation any more than he already had, but definitely didn't want to just ask Berwald straight up if he were married or in a relationship in case he said yes because then it would be painfully obvious that Tino had feelings for a man who was already spoken for. It was too awkward to think about.

Locking his phone and shoving it back into his pocket, Tino picked up the stack of outgoing mail and stood up.

Walking away from his part of the office and over to the reception, he dropped the mail into the outbox then leant on the desk opposite Michelle. She was on the phone, and her brown eyes slid to meet Tino's for a moment as she held up her finger to him, signalling she'd be with him in a minute. Her hair was loose from its braids today, her natural dark curls falling about her shoulders. Tino drummed his fingers in the desk trying not to get impatient as Michelle repeated herself three times to the person on the other end of the phone who just didn't seem to understand that ICON wasn't associated with People magazine.

After a few more minutes, Michelle finally slammed the phone down and sighed heavily.

"Well, that was infuriating." she said, though her voice was light. Wheeling her chair away from her computer she too leant on the desk, twirling a lock of hair around her finger and smiled at Tino.

"What can I do for you, hun?"

He hesitated, looking over his shoulder before leaning in a little closer to Michelle.

"Do you... Do you have access to the next of kin files?" He asked, keeping his voice low.

Michelle blinked at him for a moment, then narrowed her eyes, "If I said yes, why do you wanna know?"

Tino hurried around the circular desk and sat himself down in a chair he wheeled from the other side of the reception area next to Michelle.  
"I need you to do me a huge favour that will save me from potential mass humiliation if I've got the wrong end of a metaphorical stick." he said, speaking so quickly that he almost tripped over his own words.

Michelle looked at him like she couldn't tell if he was being serious or not, and didn't say anything for a moment as Tino stared at her, his gaze intent.

"I mean..." She began, whetting her plump lips a little with her tongue, "they're not _super_ confidential. Do you needed to check something for Francis?" finishing with a little wink, Tino could have threw his arms around her.

He nodded. "Yes. For Francis."

"Then be my guest, but you owe me lunch." Michelle said as she wheeled back over to the desk and opened up some files on her computer before passing the mouse to Tino.  
Michelle was another of ICONs employees who Tino's opinion of had changed as the weeks went by. Like him, Michelle was young but she had to work hard to get where she was. She had a great photography qualification and had even studied high fashion, yet she didn't seem to be able to get anywhere else in the publications other than her current role as receptionist. It was unclear why to Tino, and he even felt a little sorry for her. Although it was still unreasonable, Tino had grown to understand over time why Michelle was so jealous of him at first and they had ironed out their differences.

Taking the mouse in his hand, Tino scrolled down the list of employee surnames in alphabetical order until he finally reached 'O'. He could feel Michelle looking over his shoulder, and his palm grew clammy as he hovered the curser over Berwald’s name. He couldn't believe that he was snooping like this, but surely this was a better alternative than confronting Berwald. He would just silently find out the truth to stop it niggling in his brain, and that would be that.

It was too late to go back now, and Tino double clicked the mouse bringing up Berwald’s employee records before he could have second thoughts.

_Employee: Berwald Henrik Oxenstierna_

_D.O.B: 06/06/1989_

_Next of Kin: Alice Oxenstierna_

_Relationship to Employee: Spouse_

Tino stared at the screen for a moment, and his heart sank.

"Wait, he's married?" Michelle said from over his shoulder. Then she gasped and took hold of Tino's shoulder, spinning him around in his chair to face her.

"Oh my God, Tino, do you _like Berwald?"_

Her face had an incredulous look, and Tino chewed on his bottom lip as he reluctantly nodded his head slowly, finally admitting to himself as well as Michelle that he did.

\------------

For the rest of the afternoon Tino kept his head down and focused on his work, even putting his earbuds in at one point to try and drown out his thoughts with his favourite metal band as he worked at his desk. He’d made Michelle swear not to tell anybody about the fact that he had acknowledged that he had some sort of feelings for Berwald, and the fact that he’d looked at his files but he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that he’d made a mistake in doing so and if Francis found out he’d no doubt be in trouble.

He skipped lunch to make up for the time he'd lost this morning, and by the time 5pm rolled around and it was finally time for him to finish his shift he was ravenous. Tino was usually one of the last people to arrive in the office in the mornings, but also one of the last to leave in the evening. Slinging his satchel over his shoulder he flicked off the office lights after peering around to make sure everyone had gone, and then made his way down the corridor to the elevator. He took his phone out and unlocked it, slowing his pace for a moment, scrolling for Lukas’s number in his contacts hoping that he and Emil would say yes to take out tonight. With all his attention cast to his phone, he didn’t hear a door click open and jumped out of his skin, scrambling not to drop his phone, as a hand grabbed his arm as he passed the doorway and pulled him into the room.

He flinched as the door slammed closed once he was fully in the room, and he tossed his satchel to the ground.

“What the hell, Berwald?” Tino yelled.

Berwald ran a hand through his hair and sighed in exasperation as he turned away from the door and stared at Tino who stood before him in his workshop, arms folded across his chest and weight thrown haughtily on one leg.

“Just tell me what I’ve done.” He said, his brows furrowed. “You’ve been avoiding me like the plague an’ I don’t understand why.”

Shocked at the abruptness even coming from Berwald, Tino just stood blinking at him, letting his arms unfold and they hung loose by his sides.

“I don’t… what makes you think-“ he began, but Berwald interrupted him.

“If this is you playin’ hard to get, Tino, then it’s working.”

Tino scoffed and almost wanted to laugh in disbelief at this current situation and at the words that had just left Berwald’s mouth. His eyes made quick work of running over Berwald’s hands in case for some miraculous reason he had his ring on today which would make this confrontation a lot more in his favour, but of course his hands were bare.

“Oh yeah, because I just love developing feelings for _married_ men!" he said, raising his voice a little, and Berwald’s expression suddenly turned to stone as though he’d just been slapped across the face.

“How d’ya know…” Berwald muttered, before he took a few large strides forward causing Tino to take a few back. The back of his legs were pressed against a pile of wood in the corner of the workshop and he was pinned beneath the rising anger in Berwald’s gaze above him. Berwald was so close to him now that he could hear his shuddered breathing.  
Swallowing thickly, Tino knew he’d gone too far to act as though he hadn’t found out about Berwald’s marital status behind his back, and so he stood up straight and stared right back at Berwald.

“I know about Alice. You thought I wouldn’t find out about the fact that you had a wife while you try and flirt with me?” he said, watching as Berwald turned on his heel and stalked away across the room. He stood silently with his back turned to Tino for what felt like an agonising amount of time.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Tino. I don’t know how you know her name and honestly I don’t really care. I thought you were different, but you just gossip and pry like everyone else here.” Berwald finally broke the silence, and his voice sounded as deep and monotone as ever, as if all emotion had been stripped out.

“I know how it feels to be cheated on, Ber, so don’t turn this on me!”

“Oh for God’s sake Tino! Get over yerself! I’m not cheating on anyone, and I can’t believe you think I would ever stoop that low!” Berwald was shouting now, and he slammed his fist on the woodwork bench beside him sending tools clattering to the floor.

“Why didn’t you just talk to me instead of letting me buy you lunch and string me along if you were just gonna turn around and accuse me before you even know me, and then stand here in front of me after just casting me to the side, bringing up names from my past that you shouldn’t ever know!?”

Tino’s heart was racing and his whole world felt like it was falling to pieces around him. Tears sprang to his eyes, and there was so much he wanted to say to try and calm Berwald down, but he couldn’t even speak.

Berwald stopped shouting now, and leant against the workbench, dropping his head into his hands.

“I wanted you to be different so badly. But you’re just as sly and manipulative as the rest of ‘em in this damn place.” He mumbled, then dragged his hands over his face and this time when his eyes found Tino’s they were full of nothing but sadness. “Get out. Please, just go.”

Berwald’s voice was now nothing more than a whisper and Tino’s cheeks were damp with tears as he willed his legs to move. They felt like lead as he picked up his satchel and walked to the door, wrenching it open. He wanted to say he was sorry, to apologise, to ask Berwald to forgive him so that they could at least still be friends, but he knew it was no use. How could he have been so stupid? Looking back into the room over his shoulder, he saw that Berwald had his gaze firmly planted toward the floor, his shoulders slumped.

Closing the door gently behind him Tino pulled his phone out again, barely able to see the screen through his tears as he ordered an Uber, just wanting to get home as quickly as he could.


	14. Chapter 14 - Let's see where this goes.

**Chapter 14 – Let's see where this goes.**

Leon pushed the fridge door closed with his foot as he took out some left over pizza and a bottle of Pepsi. Emil was sat on the kitchen counter at Leon's house and took down two glasses from the cupboard behind his head, setting them down next to him on the side.

It was a quiet Sunday, and Leon's parents were at work and his siblings either holed away in their rooms or out with their own friends. Emil's interview was a few days ago, and he'd still not heard anything about whether he'd been successful or not.

"So you've pretty much made your mind up haven't you?" Leon sighed and poured out the Pepsi into the two glasses as he spoke.

Atop the counter, Emil swung his legs and took a swig of Pepsi as Leon had finished pouring then watched Leon putting the pizza on a plate and opening the microwave as he continued, "If you get this job you won't be going to college. Are you sure you don't wanna at least apply? When you said you'd be getting a job instead of going to college I didn't think it would just be some random part time job in a Turkish supermarket downtown."

Leon had a slightly bitter tone to his voice and wasn’t really making any contact with Emil as he fumbled around the kitchen.

As soon as Emil had come out of his interview the other day he had called Leon to fill him in. Although he didn't have any experience to go off, the interview seemed almost too casual and Sadik, the owner, didn't really ask Emil too many questions and instead just went over what Emil's availability was then asked when he would be done with school. He hadn't asked any of the 'what would you do in a difficult situation involving a customer' type of questions that Emil had read about and prepared for on a wiki forum online about the top 10 most frequently asked interview questions, and he didn't even ask Emil to go through his list of strengths that he'd jotted down in his notebook like Lukas had suggested him to do. They just sat in the back room of the store and talked for about ten minutes, and that was that.

When he told Lukas and Tino about it that night over dinner, Lukas seemed to think it was because Emil was too young and Sadik hadn't wanted to waste his time on a proper interview but didn't want to hurt Emil's feelings, but deep down Emil actually felt pretty positive. Despite it being an unusual interview, he found that the conversation flowed quite nicely, and Sadik had warmly shook his hand as he stood up to show Emil out and smiled as he said he would be in touch soon.

He took another sip of Pepsi then put it down again next to him on the counter then slid down, taking a plate from Leon with two slices of pizza on when he passed it to him.  
“It’s supposed to be my brother who nags me about college, not my best friend.” Emil said as the pair walked through to the living room and flopped down on the couch. Usually they weren’t allowed to eat in the living room, but as long as Emil could remember they had sneakily ate in there together ever since Leon’s parents thought they were old enough to start being home alone.

“I’m not nagging you,” Leon paused to wipe a string of cheese that had stuck to his chin, “I just thought we were gonna go to college together. That was always like, our plan.”

Emil was starting to get annoyed as Leon carried on. He rolled his eyes,

“No, it was always _your_ plan. I just went along with it ‘cause I don’t have a thousand different hobbies and skills that I could consider turning into a major like you.” He snapped, and Leon finally made eye contact with him properly, his thick brows knitted and his hand that was holding his slice of pizza paused half way to his mouth.

“Yo, Em, I didn’t know you felt that way. I- You’ve got loadsa skills!” he said.

“Oh yeah? Like what?” Emil muttered through a mouthful of pizza.

Leon was silent for a moment, and Emil knew that he was probably regretting saying that and he could tell by his expression that he was struggling to think of an answer. He finished his pizza quickly, leaving the crusts on his plate and then stood up again. He loved Leon and deeply cherished their friendship, but sometimes he could be unintentionally arrogant, and Emil sometimes felt inferior compared to him. He was always second best when they were together. He finished his drink in a couple of large gulps then put the glass along with his plate in the dishwasher.

When he turned around, Leon had crept into the kitchen behind him, hovering somewhat awkwardly. Emil stepped to the side and Leon shuffled past him, adding his dishes to the dishwasher then closing it and starting the cycle.

“Are you mad at me?” Leon said, a puppy dog eyed pout on his face.

Emil sighed and flapped his hands,

“No I’m not mad at you. You’re just dense sometimes.” He finished with a light laugh and knocked his knuckles against the side of Leon’s head. He really wasn’t mad in truth, but just a little frustrated that his best friend was silently judging his decisions, but deep down Leon meant no harm.

Emil walked through the kitchen to the front door and began to slide his vans onto his feet without bothering to undo the laces first. He wiggled his foot around on the door mat, adjusting them at the back of his heel.

“I’d better get back home. Thanks for the pizza.”

Leon shrugged as he too shoved his feet into his sliders and picked up his gym bag, “No problem. You gonna be online later? Wanna play some Rocket League?” he said as he opened the front door, stepped out and then locked it behind himself and Emil. They walked to the end of the garden then stopped for a moment on the street.

“Maybe, depends what time we eat dinner. I’ll text you.” Emil knew that Leon felt bad and was trying his best to make the conversation light, so he just smiled then pulled him in for a quick hug as they said their goodbyes then went their separate ways down the street, Leon to the gym and Emil to the bus stop.

*

The sun was beginning to set by the time the sound of Emil’s house keys clattering in the lock on the front door could be heard, and the smell of the meal that Lukas was cooking from the kitchen was filling the apartment.

“I’m home!” Emil called as he took his shoes off and hung his jacket up.

Tino looked away from the TV when Emil walked through the living room door from the hall and stood just staring at him. He hugged the couch cushion he was holding a little tighter and narrowed his eyes at Emil’s somewhat concerned expression.

“What?” he said, snatching the remote and lowering the volume on the TV.

Emil shook his head and scoffed as he walked around the back of the couch and leant on it, looking down at Tino as he lay there.

“You haven’t moved since I left the house this morning like, 6 hours ago. And you’ve been wearing the same pair of boxers and that food stained t-shirt for two days. I haven’t seen you like this since you broke up with Marcus. The hell is wrong with you?” Emil said, partially teasing Tino yet also a little worried to see him in this state.

“I’ve been askin’ the same question all day. Don’t waste your breath on him, Em.” Lukas’s voice drifted closer as he peered around the partition wall separating the kitchen from the living room with a dish towel draped over his shoulder, and Tino stuck his middle finger up in Lukas’s direction over the back of the couch.

“He’s eaten his bodyweight in cake and ice cream and now he probably doesn’t have enough appetite left for dinner,” Lukas disappeared around the corner again for a moment before re-emerging at the kitchen table and slammed some plates down, “which is now served.” he said as he sat down and started at his own meal before Emil had even pull up a chair and Tino had even begun to sit up from the couch.

Tino waited for Emil to sit at the table before he stood up and dusted some crumbs from his lap, taking his phone from the coffee table. He unlocked it and refreshed his Facebook Messenger app for what must have been the 20th time that day. It had been 3 days since he and Berwald had argued, and Tino had sent a long message to Berwald before he went to bed on Friday night apologising and asking if they could at least talk before Monday, but the message had been undeliverable and when Tino went to Berwald’s profile it said that the _‘user’s profile was unavailable’_. He’d blocked him.

Exhaling sharply, he tossed his phone onto the couch and trudged through to the kitchen, plonking himself down at the table. Lukas had made salmon and potatoes, and the smell of the fish was making Tino feel sick after eating so many sweet things and wallowing in his own self-pity all weekend. He picked at his plate and pushed the potatoes around with his fork as Emil and Lukas talked between mouthfuls amongst themselves. He wasn’t really paying attention, and was so zoned out that he jumped out of his skin when Lukas slammed his cutlery down on the table.

“Fer God’s sake, Tino, what’s gotten into you? Emil just asked you a question and you’re not even listening.”

He looked up from his plate and his eyes darted between the two brothers as they stared at him, though there was nothing but obvious concern on their expressions. Trying his best to fake a smile, he put his fork down and pushed his plate away from him.

“Sorry guys, I just haven’t been feeling well this weekend. I think I might be coming down with something. I don’t want you to catch it Lukas and be out of action while the store is so busy, so I think I’ll just go to bed.” He said as he stood up from the table, his chair scraping across the floor as he pushed it back with the back of his legs, but before he could leave Emil darted up quickly and blocked the doorway.

“Oh no you don’t, sit down and spill.” Emil said, pointing to the chair that Tino had just got up from.

Tino looked to Lukas, but got nothing apart from the usual clouded over expression and knew that he was outnumbered. He sat back down onto the chair with a thump, and told Lukas and Emil everything that had happened on Friday from the friend request, to snooping at the employee files, to the argument and also filled them in on the events that had happened over the past few weeks which had made Tino believe that Berwald was in a relationship.

The three of them sat in silence for a moment when Tino had finished, their dinners now cold, and Tino fidgeted as he waited for one of them to say something.

“Well, that was stupid of you.” Emil deadpanned finally, and Tino threw his hands up in exasperation wondering why he’d even confided in his housemates.

“So what would you have done then?” he cried, glaring at Emil, annoyed that they hadn’t sided with him.

“I would have just asked him. I dunno why you’re so shocked that he’s upset that you slyly looked at his personal records.” Emil said, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair.

 _“*Vittulan väki,_ ” Tino muttered under his breath and pressed a hand to his brow, then raised his voice, “Wow thanks Emil, I already feel guilty about it and now you’re just making me feel worse!”

“Hang on… is this the tall guy that came to see me with Christina that day? The set designer?” Lukas said in sudden realisation, looking up from picking a piece of loose skin from around his fingernail.

Tino nodded, and Lukas continued, “I think you should just speak to him at work tomorrow, say your piece and then leave him to make the decision if he wants to still be friends with you.”

Before Tino could say anything, Emil butted in again and Tino was beginning to regret giving them as much information as he had done.

“But what I don’t understand is if he’s actually still _with_ his wife. You said he doesn’t wear the ring anymore, right? And that he said you brought up a name from his past?” Emil said, and Tino felt like a balloon had just burst inside of his chest.

“I mean, yeah he doesn’t wear the ring… Shit, Emil I didn’t think of that. But who would he call ‘honey’ on the phone?” Tino ran his hands over his face as he slumped down to rest his head in his arms on the table.

“God Tino, you’ve made a real mountain out of a mole hill for yourself with all this.” Lukas said as he stood up and began to clear the table, though his voice was light and Tino could tell he was trying not to laugh. Although they hadn’t really been much help, or sympathetic either, Tino felt a little better after telling them.

After dinner, they had watched a movie on Netflix, though Tino couldn’t concentrate and went to have a shower half way through, his thoughts bouncing around his brain even as the hot water ran over him, and he made Emil sit on his phone for him when he came back from the shower so that he didn’t keep checking Facebook every half an hour. Tino was glad when his eyelids eventually began to grow heavy, and once Lukas and Emil had taken themselves to bed and Tino had snuggled down on the sofa-bed for the night it didn’t take him long to fall into a mentally exhausted sleep.

\----------------

Had Tino known that the day ahead would be the Monday-est Monday that he would experience since starting his job at ICON when he woke up that morning he would have just rolled over in bed and called in sick. Pretty much as soon as he clocked in on his computer the emails came flooding in and the phone was ringing off the hook. It had taken 3 strong coffees from the cafeteria to bring him out of his slump, especially as Christina wasn’t in the office today for him to bounce off of. She had an appointment and had booked the day off, and Tino hadn’t realised how much he relied on her to get him through the day sometimes until her desk was empty.

He’d also seen Berwald outside of his workshop in a single day more times than he had ever seen him the entire time he had worked in this damn office, and he was sure that Berwald was doing it on purpose as he sauntered through the corridors. Tino stared at him every time he passed, and he knew that Berwald could probably sense his eyes on him but not once did he so much as glance in Tino’s direction. At lunch he’d gone to his workshop and knocked several times on the door, and after no answer he had pestered pretty much every employee in the building asking if anyone knew where Berwald was. He just wanted to say he was sorry. Even if Berwald never forgave him, Tino hated the fact he couldn’t at least explain himself. Of course it was a poor explanation however, and Tino had very little reasoning behind his actions other than that he did it out of either jealousy or distrust, but the fact that Berwald thought he was a scheming gossiper that had just strung him along was killing him the most.

It had gone 5pm and Tino trudged around the office, flicking all the lights off, the last to leave as usual. He hesitated as he passed Berwald’s workshop on his way to the elevator before knocking on the door one last time in case he was still in there. He stood outside the door in silence for a minute then shook his head and carried on down the corridor.  
As he stood in the elevator he stared at himself in the mirror.

“You’re a fucking idiot, Tino Väinämöinen. Why are you so stupid and selfish?” he scolded himself and pointed angrily at his own reflection.

Then as the doors opened and Tino turned away from the mirror to step out into the foyer, his heart plummeted into his stomach when his eyes fell upon Berwald sat on the gold bench under the chandelier in the same spot that’d he’d sat in that fateful day as though waiting for him. He’d been looking for Berwald all day with a well-rehearsed speech running through his mind, yet now that he was sat before him Tino couldn’t bring himself to step out of the elevator and face him, everything he wanted to say suddenly evaporating from his thoughts. But then as the doors of the elevator began to close again he had no choice but to dash out and quickly strode across the marble floor of the foyer.

“Berwald, we need to talk! Please!” he cried, his voice echoing across the high ceiling as Berwald began to stand up from the bench.

“Not here.” Berwald said as he turned and began to walk towards the doors. Tino clutched the strap on his satchel across his front and followed him, taking two strides for every one that Berwald took to keep up with him.

Berwald pushed the door open and stepped out onto the street, and once he was sure that Tino had followed him out he walked around to the driver’s side of the silver Volvo that was parked out of the front of the office building. He unlocked it with the push of button on his keys and the lights flashed, then looked across the top of the car at where Tino was standing on the pavement and nodded to him before he opened the door and got in.

Though finally glad to have a chance to talk with Berwald, Tino felt his hand trembling as he pulled the car door handle and slid into the passenger seat, shoving his satchel in the foot well. He had only been in the hire car Berwald had been driving while his car was being serviced and he looked around as Berwald started the engine and pulled away from the roadside.

In the open fronted glove compartment in front of him Tino noticed a half empty packet of sherbet lemons and some scattered papers. As he looked a little closer, buried within the papers was what looked like a child’s drawing. His eyes widened, and he stole a quick glance at Berwald who had his gaze firmly on the road before he turned around to peer into the back seat. There, on the back seat behind the passenger side was a child’s booster block and a tatty looking plush toy giraffe lay on the back window shelf.

 _‘Jesus, I’m a homewrecker now too.’_ he thought.

Turning back around to face forward, Tino sunk into the seat and pushed the heels of his palms against his eyes, wishing the ground would just open up and swallow him whole.  
After about 10 minutes of excruciating silence, Tino felt the car rumble to a halt as the engine died down. Forcing himself to sit up and look out the front of the windshield, he saw that Berwald had driven up to the hills that surrounded the city and parked up at the viewing point. The sun was sinking beyond the horizon as the city lights began to twinkle to life below them, and they were the only car up here at this time in the evening.

Tino sighed and twisted in his seat to face Berwald and took in a breath, ready to start spilling out an apology for messing things up so badly, but his words died in the back of his throat when Berwald unbuckled his seatbelt and dropped his head.

“We’re divorced, Alice an’ me. Have been for 3 years. She’s re-married now.” He said lowly, and Tino’s mouth fell open. He let Berwald’s words sink in for a moment, his eyes autonomously drifting to Berwald’s left hand as it rested on the steering wheel, his ring finger bare.

“But that doesn’t change what I did, Ber, I-“ Tino began but as Berwald turned to look at him and he stopped talking when he saw the hurt in Berwald’s eyes.

“I hurt her. I loved her, but not in the way that she loved me.” Berwald took his glasses from his face, setting them down on the dashboard, and pinched at the bridge of his nose. Tino watched as he drew in a shaky breath and then cast his gaze out across the city below them.

“We met in 2013. I was 24 and in my final year of college. She was 23, and an interior design student. She was kind, pretty, and she liked me. We dated, and I fell in love with her. We married in 2016, but I always felt like there was something wrong, something missing, and when I realised that I was lying to myself and her I had to be sure before I could come to terms with it. I didn’t mean for it to go as far as it did,” his voice was breaking now, and Tino could tell Berwald was struggling to hold back tears, “but her friend saw me in the gay bar that night, took a photo and by the time I got home she had already worked it out.”

He cleared his throat and straightened his shoulders, his grip on the steering wheel tightening, and Tino just sat in a stunned silence.

“The divorce was settled in 2017, but she was already seeing someone else by that point. She didn’t want anything to do with me and-“ Berwald paused, his eyes finally sliding to connect with Tino’s and he searched them for a moment then sighed, “with me and Peter, our son.”

Tino chewed at the inside of his lip, unable to tear his eyes away from Berwald’s as he looked at him, an expression of vindication on his features.

“I haven’t updated my employee records because it’s the last tie I have to her. Once her name is removed from that document, she’s gone forever. It’s stupid, I know, but-“

“It’s not stupid, Berwald.” Tino said, his voice absolute. Now that everything had fallen into place, Tino didn’t know what to say that could possibly even remotely ease some of Berwald’s obvious heartache. He hated the fact that he dared to feel glad and relieved with the knowledge that Berwald wasn’t still married and that he hadn’t been caught up in the middle of unfaithfulness.

Berwald laughed a little, low and rumbling, as he picked his glasses up from the dashboard and slid them back onto his face.

“I did a lot of thinkin’ at the weekend. I’ve been runnin’ a negative script of myself over the past three years, and over the past month or so you’ve been there slowly re-writing that script for me, and ya didn’t even know it. I’ve kept my head down, kept to myself, but then you came and wandered into my workshop that day and-”

Berwald was silenced as Tino unbuckled his seatbelt in a swift motion, unable to stop himself, and leant forward, grabbing Berwald’s shirt as he pulled him forward, pressing their lips together. He felt Berwald tense for a moment, but when he loosened his grip on the fabric of the shirt that he held scrunched in his fist, Berwald didn’t pull away and instead Tino felt a shaky hand hesitantly reach around to the back of his head, tangling in his hair before pushing them even closer to each other, closing the gap between them from the opposite seats they sat in in the car.

He felt giddy, and his eyes fluttered closed as he pressed a few soft kisses against Berwald’s lips to test the waters before parting his own slightly. Feeling heat rising starting in his stomach, Tino let go of his shirt completely and instead pressed his hand against Berwald’s chest as his tongue slid over his bottom lip. His other hand wandered up the side of Berwald’s arm before settling on his shoulder, still not happy with the too big of a gap between them as he pulled his shoulders forward.

Then, the kiss was broken for a moment as Berwald pulled back and his hand disappeared below the seat in front of him. He fumbled around for a moment, not taking his eyes off Tino, his breathing a little heavy, before Tino heard the sound of a lever clunking against the floor of the car and Berwald slid the driver’s seat all the way back on its rails. Seizing the opportunity, Tino mentally thanked whatever God was up there for the first time in his life that he was short enough to clumsily scramble across the seats. With his back to the steering wheel, Tino straddled over Berwald’s lap and their kisses grew messier, their fleeting touches growing a little rougher as Berwald began to slide a hand up the back of Tino’s sweater, his calloused fingers dancing across the delicate skin at the small of Tino’s back.

As he could feel his lips becoming swollen red and kiss bitten, Tino forced himself to pull away before this went too far and brought his hand up to caress Berwald’s cheek. He took a moment to catch his breath, staring into Berwald’s lust hooded eyes behind his glasses, his head spinning.

“God, Tino-“ Berwald exhaled, his hand still resting on Tino’s back, and Tino couldn’t help but smile as he leant his forehead against Berwald’s.

“Do you still… Are you sure that you wanna…” Berwald mumbled between breaths as he struggled to slow his breathing, “You don’t have any explainin’ to do, and I understand if you don’t want to-“

Tino sat back and looked down at Berwald, folding his arms across his chest, his heart still hammering beneath.

“I’d be lying if I said the fact that you have a son doesn’t unnerve me a little, but hey, it’s a step up from being married, right?” he said with a faltered laugh, though wished that he had said it a little more delicately when Berwald’s face fell. He wanted to say more, to talk things over more, but Berwald had already unloaded quite a lot of his baggage and emotions and Tino didn't want to press any further. He sighed,

“Look. Let’s just see where this goes, okay? I like you, Berwald, and I can’t believe that you like me too, yet here we are.” Tino patted the door of the car, which now felt too small as his head was inches from the ceiling as he still sat atop Berwald’s lap, and a grin sprung to his lips as he felt Berwald’s chest rumble against his own as he let out a small laugh.

“Okay.”

\-----------

It was fully dark by the time Berwald dropped Tino off outside the bookstore. They hadn’t kissed again, and had driven in a comfortable silence until they’d reached Tino’s home.  
Before Tino opened the car door to get out, Berwald grabbed his arm and looked at him, his expression anxious.

“Are you sure about this, Tino? I don't want either of us to get hurt.” and Tino sighed at the question, running a hand through his hair and thought for a moment. His mind was filled with a million different thoughts, and he needed space to think. Berwald was clearly still quite emotional over Alice, and if he was being truthful with himself, the fact that he had been married and had a son freaked Tino out a little, but not enough to put him off Berwald completely. He'd let things settle between them for a couple of days now that they were on a little more than just good terms and see where it went.

“I’m not sure about anything yet, apart from the fact that I wouldn’t mind kissing you again sometime.” He said as confidently as he could, his heart doing somersaults inside his chest at the memory of how Berwald had kissed him and ran his hands over his body, before he pushed the car door open and stepped out. “Goodnight, Berwald.” He chirped, just as the door slammed closed and didn’t look back at Berwald or the car as he made his way to the back of the shop, only hearing Berwald drive away as he turned his key in the lock. Once inside, he leant against the door for a moment, then grinned wildly in the dark to himself before he climbed the stairs.

The TV was on and muffled voices from the show that Lukas and Emil were watching filled the apartment as Tino let himself in and kicked his shoes off.

“Tino? Is that you?” Lukas called from the living room upon hearing the front door close.

“Yes, Lukas, who else would it be? The ghost of Christmas past?” Tino called back in amusement as he hung his satchel up and appeared in the living room doorway.

“Well, you’re back to your usual self it seems. Did you talk to him?” Lukas said in a huff, looking up at Tino from where he sat in his armchair.

Emil took one look at Tino’s flushed cheeks, red lips and tousled hair and his mouth gaped a little, “I think he did more than just talk, Lukas.”

Tino came into the living room and flopped down next to Emil on the couch.

“ _Well?_ ” Lukas said again, and Tino sighed happily.

“Yeah, I talked to him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Vittulan väki = Oh, for fuck's sake
> 
> omg this is the first time I've ever written a kiss scene and I _struggled_.
> 
> Thank you for reading as always, I hope you enjoyed aaaaa <3
> 
> -lumassen x


	15. Chapter 15 - To hookup, or not hookup?

**Chapter 15 – To hookup, or not hookup?**

The back of Tino’s neck was starting to ache from craning up to kiss Berwald, and no doubt Berwald’s shoulders were starting to cramp from stooping down to Tino’s height for so long. Suddenly, their kiss was broken as Berwald slid his arms around Tino’s waist and lifted him up as though it were no effort at all, sitting him on the edge of his workbench.

“Ber, what are you doing!” Tino shrieked, though he was laughing, as Berwald nuzzled kisses against his neck and splayed his hands out across Tino’s thighs as he sat in front of him.

This wasn’t the first time that Tino had snuck into Berwald’s workshop for a ‘meeting’ since they had kissed in the car two weeks ago. In fact, considering that Tino was the one who wanted to take things slowly, he’d probably need two hands to count how many times it had been. He just couldn’t keep himself away.

“Love kissin’ you.” Berwald mumbled as Tino wrapped his arms around his shoulders to balance himself as he perched on the edge of the workbench and pulled him closer. Tino hummed and parted his lips a little wider as their kisses became messier. Berwald’s hand was just beginning to inch up Tino’s thigh when there was a loud knock on the door and the pair flung themselves apart. Tino scrambled down from the workbench so quickly that he nearly fell over.

“Berwald? Do you have a minute?” It was Arthur, his voice unmistakable as he called from the other side of the door.

“Shit,” Tino hissed as he flapped and clamped his hands against the side of his face in a moment of panic, throwing his gaze at Berwald, who muttered under his breath for him to hide. Getting down on all fours, Tino crawled under the workbench and Berwald tossed a dust sheet over it for good measure, making sure that Tino was hidden from sight underneath before he strode to the door.

Tino stayed as still as he could under the workbench as he heard Berwald open the door, trying to suppress his amusement while feeling somewhat like a giddy teenager.

  
“Arthur. What can I do for ya?” Berwald said.

“Oh… um, are you quite alright, Berwald? You’re rather red in the face.” Arthur asked, his voice laced with slight concern and Tino had to bite down on his tongue now to stop himself from laughing.

“Yeah, fine. Was just… lifting some things.”

There was a pause, and Arthur obviously wasn’t really buying Berwald’s little white lie, but he just cleared his throat and carried on.

“Well, the reason I’m here is that we’re organising the staffing schedule for Fall Fashion week, and Ludwig mentioned that you had the week of the 1st of September booked off as leave. I suppose what I’m trying to ask is if there is any chance we might be able to move that to the following week? We need you on the 4th to assist putting the runway together, you see.”

Another pause, and Tino heard Berwald audibly sigh.

“Can do, but I still need the 2nd off.” He said, finally, and Arthur must have been about to protest as Berwald firmly added, “It’s my son’s birthday.”

The smirk that was currently on Tino’s lips as he listened from under the workbench suddenly disappeared at the mention of Berwald’s son. As much as he wanted to be okay with it, he was finding it difficult to get his head around that the person he liked had a child.

“Ah, I see.” Arthur laughed a little awkwardly, “Well, I can’t argue with that.”

Berwald just hummed in response.

“Are you sure you’re alright with that then? I’ll tell Ludwig you’re happy to only have the 2nd off for that week?”

“Suppose so.” Was all Berwald said, and Tino could tell that he was a little irritated.

Arthur didn’t stick around much longer after that, and Berwald closed the door again once he’d left.

“You can come out now.” Berwald said as he took the sheet from the workbench and reached underneath, taking Tino’s hand in his and gently helping him off the floor. Once he was up off the floor, Tino didn’t let go of Berwald’s hand and instead squeezed it in his grasp.

“Why didn’t you say no?” he said, looking up at Berwald, “It’s only April, surely they can make other plans before September!”

Berwald just shook his head and strained a smile, casting his gaze to his hand as Tino clasped it.

“Nah, no point kicking up a fuss.”

Although Tino felt bad for Berwald, he couldn’t help but agree. Sometimes it was easier to just go with the flow at ICON. There was always something going on, and plans changed like the wind, as Tino would know from experience as he constantly had to re-work Francis’s schedule. Letting go of Berwald’s hand, Tino busied himself with dusting off his trousers that had sawdust on them from kneeling on the floor.

“So, how old will he be then?” he asked as casually as he could.

“Who? Peter? He’ll be 6.” Berwald replied a little hesitantly, and Tino almost regretted asking. Tino was 6 years younger than Berwald, meaning that when Peter was born Tino would have only been 19. Although of course that didn’t really matter too much as they had met _now_ at 25 and 31, but something about the thought made Tino grow anxious.

He didn’t really know what to say in response so he just smiled as he smoothed his hair.

“How nice. Well, I’d best be getting back to my desk...”

Tino said, and Berwald just nodded. He could have kicked himself for being so awkward and ruining the good feelings he felt only moments ago.

“See you later, Ber.” He said as he stood up on his tiptoes to place a kiss on Berwald’s cheek.

\------------

For the rest of the afternoon Tino focused on his work, trying not to think about Berwald at all. At lunch, he’d talked with Christina about the fact that Berwald had a son, and she’d simply told him that he was stupid for trying to ignore it and pretend that Peter didn’t exist. In some ways Tino knew she was right, but two things were bothering him. If he were to end up in a relationship with Berwald, would Peter just be a constant reminder of Berwald’s past regrets? And even more worrying, would Peter even like him?

He walked around the office deep in thought as he took the stack of mail to sort through from the inbox at reception, only really rousing from his thoughts when he was thumbing through the mail and noticed that one of them was addressed to someone he didn’t recognise.

 _‘Mr Jens Densen…’_ Tino mumbled to himself under his breath as he read over the name.

“Hey, Michelle?” he said, turning to look over his shoulder at her as she sat typing on her computer, “Do you know who Jens Densen is? There’s a letter for them.” He held it up and waved it at her in his hand.

Michelle shrugged, “No, never heard of them. Sorry!”

Tino nodded and said a quick thanks before making his way back to his desk. He put the wad of mail down, but still kept the letter with the unknown recipient in his hand. Glancing to Francis in his office, he saw that he was at his desk with his head lowered over some papers, pen in hand. It wasn’t a matter of much importance, this letter, and it was probably just meant for someone on another floor, but Tino’s curiosity got the better of him as he approached the office and knocked twice on the glass door before opening it, popping his head inside.

“Francis, sorry to bother, I just have a quick question.”

Francis looked up from his desk and smiled at Tino, “Of course, what is it?”

Stepping further into the room, Tino held up the letter again,

“I was just going through the mail and this letter is in there addressed to a Jens Densen? I was just wondering if you knew who that was.” He said, and Francis put his pen down.  
“Ah, yes I do know who that is. Here, give it to me and I’ll make sure it gets to them.” Francis held out his hand and Tino crossed the room to give him the letter. “Thank you for bringing this to me, Tino.” He said with another smile as he set the letter down then laced his fingers together, setting his hands on the desk.

“Oh, no problem! I just thought you would know, is all!” Tino said, slightly disappointed that he hadn’t ended up getting to go on a wild goose chase to find the recipient to take his mind off Berwald. Some of the disappointment must have shown either in his words or his facial expression, because Francis’s brows furrowed a little,

“Everything okay, Tino?”

“Yes! Everything is fine! I’m just thinking about stuff. Erm, I mean, stuff, as in my job! I love my job. Bye Francis!” Tino spluttered as he hurried for door leaving Francis blinking in confusion after him.

His face was bright red as he left Francis’s office as he walked back to his desk. Christina had now arrived at her desk and was smirking at him.

“Tino, sweetheart, you gotta do something about this crush you have on our resident handsome set designer. And I don’t mean continuing to sneak into his workshop for a quick hookup.” She said as she rested her chin in her palm and her eyes slid over Tino as she watched him sit down.

“It’s not a hookup!” Tino cried, then clamped a hand over his mouth as his voice came out louder than he would have liked.

“I just feel… weird, I don’t know. I never felt this way about Marcus or _any_ of my exes.” He swivelled a little in his chair as he spoke.

“Now, I would normally tell you to not listen to me when it comes to relationship advice, but I think you’re reading too much into it.” Christina said, matter-of-fact.

“But aren’t ya glad that you’ve found out about Peter now rather than later? At least you know what you’re getting yourself into. Ox obviously likes you enough to trust telling you about his son, ‘cause hell I’ve worked with the guy for years and none of us knew. Maybe you should trust him a little.”

She finished with a shrug and turned her attention back to her computer. Tino stared at her for a moment before sighing and starting to sort through the rest of the mail. Deep down, Tino knew she was right. He was interested in Berwald, he knew that much, and he was quickly developing feelings for him too. How hard could it be to get used to a little 6 year old?

\-----------

Later that evening, Tino was sat on the couch talking back and forth to Lukas as he clattered around in the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards as he made up a shopping list.

  
“Is there anything you want?” Lukas asked. He walked out of the kitchen and passed the list and a pen to Tino over the back of the couch. Tino took it and scribbled a couple of items on the bottom, and Lukas laughed to himself when he read over Tino’s requests as he handed him back the list.

“Candy and frozen pizza. I should have known.” he said, and Tino winked at him.

Putting the list down on the coffee table for a moment, Lukas left the living room and went to his room, closing the door behind him. He picked his phone up from where it was charging on the nightstand and sat down on the bed to read the text message on the screen.

_‘I’ll be there at 7 and grab a booth for us. See u soon! – M’_

He let his eyes wander over the words on the screen for a moment. He and Matthias had been texting back and forth for a couple of weeks now, and Lukas wasn’t entirely sure how it had happened but Matthias had ended up convincing him to meet him for a couple of drinks. It wasn’t a date, Lukas was sure of that, and he decided to do his grocery shopping today as an excuse not only not to drink alcohol as he was driving, but also as a reason to not stay too long.

There was something about Matthias that Lukas felt drawn to, however. He didn't really have any friends besides Tino, and although it was kind of odd how they had started talking, Lukas had gotten used to Matthias's texts now as part of his daily routine and would look forward to when his name would flash up on his phone screen. He had never really been one for actively seeking out friendships or relationships with people and preferred to meet others organically through work or college. But the fact that Lukas worked by himself and rarely interacted with anyone besides his brother and his best friend meant that these organic meetings didn't really happen anymore. Now that Tino had started working at ICON he'd made even more friends who he talked about often, Lukas had felt lonelier than ever.

He checked the time at the top of his phone screen, 6:52pm, before he opened the message and typed out a reply.

_'I'll be 20 minutes.’_

After he sent the message he tossed his phone onto the bed and stood up, opening up his wardrobe. What should he wear? He knew he was over thinking this, but he didn't want to appear either too over _or_ under dressed. After a few minutes of picking out articles of clothing then putting them back again, in the end he went for a smart, black turtle neck sweater and his favourite jeans. Changing out of his t-shirt and slacks, he tucked his sweater into his jeans and finished with the nice designer belt that Tino had swiped for him recently that was left over from a fashion shoot at work. Standing in front of the full length mirror, Lukas was confident with his outfit and dusted a bit of lint from the front of his sweater.

Grabbing his phone off the bed and shoving it in his back pocket he stopped and hesitated in front of his dresser on the way out of his bedroom before spritzing a little of the expensive cologne that he liked to save for special occasions across his neck for good measure.

When he stepped out of his room and back into the living room to pick up the shopping list and grab his car keys, Emil had emerged from the bathroom, his hair wet from the shower, and was sat playing Sims with Tino. He took one look at Lukas and raised an eyebrow.

"Why have you changed into your best sweater and jeans just to go to the store?" Emil said, causing Tino to look up from the game and he too stared at Lukas.

Lukas sighed inwardly. His brother was too perceptive for his own good sometimes. Either that, or Lukas was too predictable.

"I spilt some coffee on my t-shirt and this was the first thing I pulled out of the wardrobe." He said, fiddling with his hairpin, debating whether or not to take it out.

"Right. So you just happened to pull your favourite outfit from the wardrobe and what, you just threw on your new designer belt for the fun of it? Lukas I'm not dumb. Where are you going?" Emil questioned, standing up and walking over to Lukas, an amused smirk on his face as he clearly enjoyed the sight of Lukas turning pink and fidgeting before him. But Lukas didn't give in.

"I just felt like wearin' it, okay? What are you, the fashion police?" Lukas huffed as he fiddled with his car keys.

"Well I think you look nice. As long as you come back with my candy and pizza I don't care where else you go." Tino said with a shrug as he returned his attention to the Sims game, putting the ladders back in the pool while Emil wasn't looking.

" _Thank you_ Tino.” Lukas looked at Emil and rolled his eyes, and Emil poked his tongue out at his brother before turning on his heel and flopping back down onto the couch.

Thankful that the attention was off him, Lukas walked to the door and put his shoes on. He took one last look at himself in the mirror in the hallway, then took his hairpin out and set it down on the side table by the shoe rack. Running a hand through his hair he played around with and fluffed up the loose curls for a moment. Although he liked wearing the pin to keep his hair somewhat out of his face, he felt more confident and attractive with it loose.

“I’m going now,” Lukas said as he opened the front door, raising his voice a little to be heard from the living room.

“Have fun at the grocery store! Food shopping at 7 at night must be so thrilling!” Emil called back, his words dripping with sarcasm, and Lukas smiled to himself and shook his head as left, closing the door gently behind him.

\------

The music in the bar was a little louder than Lukas would’ve liked, and it was surprisingly busy for a Thursday night. He squeezed past a couple who stood talking in the doorway and looked around for an unmistakable mass of ginger hair. His palms were already becoming clammy as he pushed through the crowd at the bar and he was beginning to regret coming when finally he spotted Matthias in the far booth looking out of the window with a half empty beer as well as a full one on the table in front of him.  
Matthias stood up quickly when he spotted Lukas approaching with a stupid grin on his face, the untouched beer spilling over the side of the pint glass a little as he bumped the table in doing so.

“Wow, you look great. And you actually came.” He said, eyes quickly running over Lukas, and Lukas raised an eyebrow as he slid into the booth opposite Matthias.

“You thought I wouldn’t?”

Matthias laughed as he sat back down again and slid the beer across the table.

“I guess I kinda did, yeah.” His grin turned sheepish, “Here. I got this for ya.”

Lukas looked from the beer, to Matthias’s face, and back to the beer again. He didn’t have the heart to refuse the drink, though mentally scolded himself for it as he was driving and decided that he would only drink half. He took the beer in his hand and held it a couple of inches off the table and Matthias did the same as they clinked their glasses together.

“Well, cheers I guess!” Matthias said before taking a large swig, and Lukas just sipped the foam from the top.

The two engaged in small talk for a while, Matthias asking Lukas about the bookshop and how it had been going since the signing, and then it was Lukas’s turn to ask about Matthias and the café. As his pint glass began to empty past the halfway point, learned that Matthias had worked there a lot longer than he thought, and that he was normally kitchen staff rather than a waiter.

“You’re gonna cringe at this, but I’m not _actually_ a waiter at all. My buddy Louis owns the café and I’m just the cook,” Matthias paused and downed the rest of his beer somewhat nervously, “and I’ve seen you come in a lot, always ordering the same thing. I mean I would know ‘cause I make it every time. So the last time you came in, I wanted to talk to you, so I pretended to be the waiter.” He finished with an awkward laugh and avoided Lukas’s eye, instead staring into the dregs at the bottom of his now empty pint glass.

Lukas was stunned, and now he took a long sip from his glass, not really noticing that it was nearly empty. His heart was hammering in his chest and he couldn’t quite believe what Matthias had said. After a couple more sips, he put the glass down and tucked his hair behind his ear and composed himself.

“I did wonder how my food arrived so quickly that day.” He said with a small smirk, and Matthias turned beetroot red.

Before he knew it, Lukas’s glass was empty and he had given Matthias a 10 from his wallet and sent him to get two more pints from the bar. While he was alone he sat and thought for a moment, staring absentmindedly at the people stood laughing together in the smoking area just outside the window. The whole time he and Matthias had been texting he hadn’t really let on at all that he liked Lukas, as in _like_ liked him, but Lukas wasn’t stupid. The way he looked just then as he confessed that he’d noticed Lukas and waited for an opportunity just to talk to him was obvious enough. It was enough to send his stomach churning with anxiety, and yet he couldn’t seem to bring himself to think about leaving or putting an end to Matthias’s crush on him.

“Here we are!” Matthias announced as he returned to the table and set the drinks down and Lukas jumped a little as he was quickly removed from his thoughts. Dropping the change on the table, Matthias slid it across to Lukas along with the beer. As Lukas took the change and went to put in his jean pocket he felt his phone vibrate against his hand. Pulling it out and swapping it for the change he held it low under the table and unlocked it.

 _‘Lukas it’s 8:30 and you’ve been gone over an hour and a half. Where are you??? Text me back xx’_ It was Tino.

Glancing up at Matthias for a moment, Lukas looked at him through his bangs that had fell over his face before typing out a reply,

_’I think I’m on a date. Have dinner without me, be home later. x’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like my writing style has changed so much since the beginning of this fic, I'm sorry :')
> 
> I'm also sorry that the DenNor in this fic has been the literal definition of a slow burn, but we're finally heeeeere.
> 
> Thanks for reading and an even bigger thank you for all the new love this fic has gotten recently!! You guys make me so happy. I'll fix any typos tomorrow, it's 1am lol
> 
> -lumassen x


	16. Chapter 16 - Adults in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The art featured in this story is by the amazingly talented @artinoctober with permission to use - you can find them on tumblr! <3

**Chapter 16 - Adults in love.**

It was about 11:45pm by the time Lukas stumbled out of the taxi outside his bookshop. He'd sat quietly in the back seat of the car as he was driven home, his cheeks flushed as a result of one too many beers and Matthias's increasingly tipsy compliments. Now, as the cool night air rushed around him as he slammed the taxi door closed behind him, he suddenly felt an overwhelming need to throw up.

Holding a hand over his mouth, he dashed to the alley at the back of the shop and opened the lid of the trash can and held his head over for a moment but was glad when nothing came up. He took a deep breath then leant against the brick wall of the shop, the lid slamming back down as he let go of it.

Lukas hadn't drank in excess, but 5 beers in combination with his social anxiety was enough to make him feel nauseous. He was still sober enough, just about, to know that he needed to call a taxi and just leave his car in the car park at the bar when it started getting late, but was also tipsy enough to not stop a rather drunk and high spirited Matthias when he dragged him away from the booth to dance at one point during the night. Despite his anxiety, Lukas's cheeks ached from laughing with Matthias. And, for the first time in a long time, Matthias had made him feel genuinely happy and somewhat desirable.

The two had gotten to know each other well enough over the weeks through their text messages that the evening hadn't been awkward, and the way Matthias had showered him in compliments towards the end of the night made Lukas feel like a different person. For once, he wasn't the dull quiet one that no one really noticed and has been the centre of someone's attention for a night.

"Lukas? Is that you? What the hell are you doing?"

Lukas heard Emil's voice as the back door opened and he stuck his head out. He pushed off the wall and picked his way round the trash cans to the door and Emil pushed it open wider, dragging Lukas inside by his sweater sleeve.

"You're drunk. Tino said you were on a _date_? Who is she, do we know her?" Emil fired more questions as he slammed the door closed and Lukas flopped down on the third step up from the bottom on the staircase leading to their apartment. Under normal circumstances, Lukas would be touched by Emil's concern, but the fact that he was getting a lecture from his little brother was not what he wanted right now.

He sighed and scraped his hands through his hair and held it back from his face as he looked up at Emil standing before him, hands on his hips.  
"I'm not drunk. I'm just... not sober either. And try he, not she." Lukas said as his shoulders slumped.

Emil's mouth gaped open but he quickly closed it again as he scrambled and took a seat next to Lukas on the stairs.

"Oh my god, did you get catfished, Lu?"

Lukas couldn't help but laugh now, and took his hand from his hair letting it fall back across his face as he swung his arm around Emil's shoulder. He felt much less anxious now that Emil was by his side, as always. Then, he proceeded to sloppily tell Emil the story of how he'd first met Matthias in the cafe that day, how he'd helped him tow the car home, and how they'd been texting in-between leading up to them meeting tonight. Emil was silent and listened with wide eyes as Lukas spoke, being patient with him as his words were slightly slurring and he wasn’t really getting to the point quick enough.

When Lukas finished, Emil stared at him incredulously for a moment before he broke into a grin.

"So what you're basically saying is that you've had a not-so-secret admirer this whole time, like something straight out of a cheesy novel you probably sell in the shop, and you never thought to say anything about it?" Emil said, then shook his head, "And all this time I thought you liked _Christina_."

"I thought I did too." Lukas admitted, dropping his head into his hands giggling to himself, still rather intoxicated.

Emil threw his hands up in the air in an exasperated manner and Lukas peered at his younger brother through his fingers.

"Jesus Christ, I'm the hormonal teenager yet I'm the only one in this house who doesn't have a complicated love life!" Emil cried, though his tone of voice was nothing short of amusement at his older brother’s expense.

It was a struggle getting Lukas up the stairs, and Emil stood behind him ready to catch him if he stumbled even though Lukas kept insisting that he was fine. They both shushed each other as they entered the apartment as to not wake Tino who was sleeping in the living room and Emil was surprised that Lukas was sober enough to still insist that he took his shoes off at the door.

Once his shoes were off Lukas padded as quietly as he could to his bedroom, Emil still following him, and pulled his jumper off over his head before he was even through the doorway, wanting to just curl up in bed. He stripped himself down to his underwear and slipped under the duvet pulling it over his head. He listened as Emil gathered up his clothes that he'd discarded and tossed them into the laundry hamper before he felt the bed dip as his brother sat down.

"Do you... wanna talk about it?" Emil said, his voice had a sort of sympathetic tone to it and Lukas wasn't sure if he was annoyed or warmed by Emil's concern. He did want to talk about it. He wanted to gather his thoughts, and he wanted to make sense of his feelings but wasn't sure where to even begin.

Though still feeling defensive, he pulled back the covers just enough so he could glare at Emil, his nose and mouth still hidden beneath.

"What is there to talk about?" he said, half hoping that Emil would ask questions and he would miraculously just make sense of the worries that were churning around in the pit of his stomach as he answered them.

"Well, do you like him for starters. This guy? Matthias was it?"

Lukas hesitated and chewed the inside of his lip as he thought about the question.

"I don't know. I didn't even know he liked me until tonight." he said, quietly.

In the dark room Lukas could just about see Emil as he rolled his eyes and scoffed,

"Lukas you can be an airhead sometimes but you're not dumb. You must have had _some_ idea that this guy liked you. Why else would he ask for your number and text you every day?"

"People can just want to make friends you know. It's not always about relationships!" Lukas quickly snapped, causing a hiccup escape from the back of his throat and he could taste the alcohol on his breath.

Raising an eyebrow, Emil shifted on the bed so that he was fully facing Lukas,

"Okay then, show me some of the texts." He folded his arms, a smirk on his face.

"No, they're private-" Lukas began, then stopped as he felt bile rising into his mouth, "Emil I need a bucket." He managed to say as he swallowed it back and scrambled to sit up, and Emil leapt off the bed and grabbed the waste bin from beside Lukas's dresser just in time.

Lukas leaned over the edge of the bed and threw up into the bin as Emil held it out for him with one hand and held his hair back with the other. His throat burned and his eyes watered as he spat the last of the awful taste in his mouth to the bottom of the bin and sat back up. He wiped his mouth messily with the back of his hand as Emil put the bin down and climbed up onto the bed, snuggling down under the duvet and pulling Lukas in close.

"Look. I'm going to say something and you can't be mad at me, I just want to tell you that it's okay." Emil began, his voice unusually gentle, as he ran his hands through Lukas's hair as his head fell onto his shoulder.

"I think you've known for a while that you've liked this guy only you didn't want to admit it. You didn't want to upset Dad, or anyone else. I saw your face when he said that Tino had brain washed you, and you haven't dated anyone for as long as I can remember-"

Emil stopped talking for a moment as he felt a dampness seep through his t-shirt and when he peered down at Lukas he saw that his eyes were squeezed tightly shut trying to stop his tears from falling, but to no avail as they rolled down his cheeks. Emil had _never_ seen Lukas cry, and in a strange way he was thankful at the sight. The pair of them had never been good at discussing their emotions with each other ever since their mother died, and Emil knew that Lukas struggled with it more than he did.  
He didn’t speak again and instead let Lukas think for a couple of minutes and just continued to brush his fingers through his hair until Lukas eventually spoke up, his voice hoarse from the lump in his throat.

"I thought I could ignore it, the feeling in my chest." He balled his fist up and pressed it over his heart as if to demonstrate, "I'm not saying that I've never had feelings for the women I've dated in the past, because I did, but when I met Matthias I was so _confused_."

"And that's okay." Emil cooed, relieved that Lukas was willing to discuss this with him even though that was probably partially due to the amount of alcohol he'd consumed.  
"What's he like, this Matthias?" he asked, trying to lighten the conversation slightly.

Lukas snivelled for a minute and cleared his throat before snuggling a little closer to Emil.

"He's and idiot, but nice. He makes me laugh and he's easy to talk to. I felt confident tonight, and I haven't felt that way for a long time."

As Lukas spoke out loud to Emil he began to realise how stupid he'd been as he scrubbed at his eyes. Emil hadn’t even sounded shocked at the fact he had feelings for another guy, and of course Tino wouldn’t even bat an eyelid. The whole time he’d been so caught up in what other people’s opinions of him, mainly his father, would be. Tino didn’t care that people knew he was gay, and wore his sexuality quite literally openly on his sleeves in bright colours. Lukas had always thought that because he wasn’t as open about his feelings as Tino then they mustn’t be true. But after meeting Matthias again last night and seeing how comfortable he was in his sexuality on a completely different way to Tino it had sent Lukas’s head spinning.

“What should I do?” was all he could think of to say, and Emil stopped combing through his hair. Lukas tilted his head slightly so that he was looking up into Emil’s face, meeting his cold expression.

“Seriously? You’ve just said that this guy makes you laugh and made you feel confident and you’re asking me _what you should do_?”

Then, Lukas couldn’t help but smile a little and Emil threw his head back and laughed, “I can’t believe it. My weird ass brother has finally got himself a date.”

Shuffling down further beneath the covers so that he was lying next to Lukas, Emil fluffed up the spare pillow a little and got comfy. He could see Lukas’s eyes beginning to grow heavy, and wanted to make sure that he’d said his piece before Lukas was back to his usual self tomorrow morning, no doubt with a pounding headache to boot.

“But listen, seriously. Gay, bisexual, whatever you are, we support you. Me and Tino. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, okay? And we’ll always be here.” he said, looking Lukas dead in the eye. The last thing he wanted was for his brother to be alone and scared of judgement. He had given up his entire life and social life as a result to be there for Emil, and Emil wasn’t going to sit around while Lukas continued to do that. Now it was his turn to be there.

“What would I do without you, Em?” Lukas whispered as he pulled the duvet tighter around them, and Emil grinned to himself in the dark as Lukas’s eyes fluttered closed.  
“I would hate to think.” He whispered back, and closed his own eyes when Lukas’s breathing slowed into sleep.

\----------

Tino sat at his desk and scrolled through his 100+ emails, trying to find the motivation at 10am on a Friday to go through them before the weekend so he didn’t have to come back into work to them on Monday.

Last night had been… eventful, and when he woke up this morning to find Lukas and Emil snoring in Lukas’s bed together with a bucket of puke on the floor he just left them to it, though he would make sure he would corner Lukas when he got home later and get the full story out of him.

“Tino, you will _never_ guess what!” Christina hollered across the office and Tino spun around in his chair as she approached him, his mouth full of the chocolate that Berwald had left for him on his desk.

“Mpfh, wh- what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

He took a sip of water as he struggled to swallow the chocolate as it stuck to the back of his throat and nearly choked as he spluttered to answer Christina. She waved a piece of paper at him and he took it from her, reading over it quickly.

“Dear Christina, we are pleased to inform you that you have been conditionally accepted onto the up-coming designers programme should you successfully pass our preliminary examinations- “ Tino read the first few lines of the letter under his breath and his eyes widened, looking up to Christina as she sat perched on the edge of his desk,

“Oh my god, Christina! You got accepted!” He stood up from his chair and brought her into a hug, then stood back and looked at her, squashing her face between his hands. For the past couple of weeks Christina had been working on her application for a fashion design school overseas, and Tino had been helping her select her best designs during their lunch breaks.

“ _Conditionally_ accepted,” she chided, “But I can’t believe it!”

Tino let go of her and stood before her. Although he was elated for her, he couldn’t help but feel a little sad at the thought of Christina leaving ICON if she was successful, but he shook the thought from his mind.

“I can. Christina, your designs are amazing. I’m so proud of you.” He said, and he meant it.

She poked him in the arm and grinned, “Thanks, T. You gotta promise to come to the selection fashion show.”

“Of course I will! I’ll be cheering your name so loud-“ he began, though when he looked over Christina’s shoulder he trailed off and he felt the colour drain from his face when his eyes fell upon the person he least wanted to ever run into, but it was too late as they spotted him and began to make their way over.

“Woah, T, you look like you’re about to snipe someone, what’s the deal?” Christina followed Tino’s gaze and looked behind her just as they came to a stop by Tino’s desk.

“Tino! I didn’t know you worked at ICON, how great it is to see you!”

Crossing his arms across his chest, Tino frowned and Christina quickly moved off the desk to get herself out of the firing line, perching herself at her own desk as she looked at Tino.

“Ivan. What are you doing here?” Tino said, his tone cold.

Ivan and Tino had been on the same journalism course at college, and not only had Ivan stole his idea for their final paper and made it look like Tino had copied him, he’d also been the person who Marcus cheated on him with. Tino wasn’t really one to hold grudges, yet Ivan was an exception.

“I’m here to see Francis about an article I’m writing for him. You’re his assistant right? Do you think you could take me to his office?” Ivan said, a too sweet smile playing on his lips and Tino’s palms stung from where his fingernails were digging in as he clenched his fist.

His eyes first slid to the glass wall of Francis’s office and he watched him as his fingers flew across his laptop keyboard, attention grasped by whatever he was typing up, then to the small rectangular box of half eaten chocolates on his desk and he released the pressure in his fist. He had a good job, and a Swedish hottie wrapped around his little finger. Although he was curious about how Ivan had managed to write an article for ICON, Tino had no reason to feel threatened by him anymore and would just ask Francis later. In theory, Tino should feel sad and angry upon seeing Ivan, but after the initial shock he realised that he was in a much better place now than he had been when he was with Marcus, and Ivan was a reminder of that. For all he knew, or cared, they might not even still be together. Plus if Ivan was now involved with ICON, Tino didn't want a silly grudge to ruin his job for him.

Pulling his shoulder back, Tino smiled just as sweetly back at Ivan.

“Of course, follow me, Mr Braginski!” he said, slipping past Ivan without so much as a second glance and rapped on the door to Francis’s office then opened it a crack and stuck his head inside.

“Morning Francis, I have Ivan Braginski to see you.” Putting on his most professional voice, he held the door open wider and nodded his head toward the room and motioned for Ivan to go ahead, looking up at him as he towered before him.

“Thank you Tino.” Francis said, and Tino left them to it, hearing Francis telling Ivan to take a seat as the door swung closed behind him. Christina was staring at him and shaking her head slowly and Tino looked at her as he sat back down.

“What?” he asked, and she laughed.

“Remind me to never to get on the wrong side of you! You could have killed that guy with your eyes just then!” she said before returning her attention to her letter.

Anyone else might have been offended or embarrassed by that, but Tino knew he had looks that could kill and was proud of it. He rarely lost an argument as a result. Crossing one leg over the other, he unwrapped another chocolate and popped it into his mouth. Seeing Ivan had sparked something inside of Tino, and filled with a sudden new confidence he opened up his email and composed a blank one. He only had to type ‘Ber’ in the recipient box before it auto filled in Berwald’s name after the many email’s they had sent each other recently.

His fingers hesitated over the keyboard for a moment as he ran his tongue over the chocolate in his mouth. He wanted to be with Berwald, and was determined to give it a go. He made him happy and he felt his skin prickle at the thought of Berwald running his hands over him. Taking in a breath, his fingers flew over the keys as he typed out the email and hit send before he could change his mind.

_ To: Berwald Ox, _

_Dinner. You and me, tomorrow night. Pick me up at 8 x_

_ From: Tino Väinämöinen _

Feeling pleased, Tino sat back in his chair and began to go through the rest of his emails. After a couple of minutes, a new email arrived in his inbox, a reply from Berwald, and he clicked on it faster than he would admit.

_ From: Berwald Ox _

_Can’t get a sitter for Peter on such short notice. But I’ll do you a better deal. Dinner at mine. I’ll cook. Pick you up at 7:30. x_

Tino stared at the email reply for so long that his screen went black after 5 minutes of idle activity and he stared at his own reflection then dropped his head into his hands, his toes curling as he cringed in spite of himself.

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely pulled this chapter out of my ass. I'm sorry but I did not want to be beaten by writers block so _ta daaaa_
> 
> I really hope that the Lukas and Emil scene came across how I intended for it to here <3
> 
> Thanks for reading nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed it! 
> 
> -lumassen x


	17. Chapter 17 - älskling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic has now an increased rating as a result of this chapter. Part of this chapter is nsfw, and the start of it has been marked with * should you wish to skip it. I couldn't stop myself, and this is the first time I've ever written smut so I'm very sorry. I hope you like this chapter, I'm not too sure on it as I'm having a bit of writer's block with this fic.
> 
> Any feedback is much appreciated!
> 
> Oh and Caoimhe is pronounced like 'kee-va', it's an Irish name :)

**Chapter 17 – älskling**

“Okay Emil, you can clock off now. It’s 6:30.” Sadık said as he stuck his head around the doorframe leading to the stockroom around the back of the counter just as Emil stacked the last of the boxes of olives that had come in on delivery.

He had just finished his induction shift at Venus, the Turkish supermarket that he’d interviewed for a couple of weeks back. Owned by Sadık, it was a small store ran by himself with the help of the other two employees, Iakovos and Caoimhe. Iakovos, or Isak as he insisted on being nicknamed, was quite short and stocky and probably a couple of years older than Emil who hadn’t said much when Sadık had introduced them. Whereas Caoimhe was also 17 like Emil and quite boisterous in comparison with fiery red hair. She’d been in charge of showing Emil around and explaining what his job would be, and already she had got on Emil’s nerves with her blasé attitude.

It was apparent that she didn’t really take much pride in her job even though she seemed to know what she was doing. She was honest with the fact that she was only really there for the money. In a sense, so was Emil, but he at least wanted to be a good employee too. Luckily she’d gone home at 6, leaving Emil on his own in the back for half an hour of peace while he finished putting away the delivery.

He stepped down from the step ladder and untied his apron, hanging it up on the pegs by the stockroom door and followed Sadık.

“So how’d you find your first day?” Sadık said as he put his jacket on and held the front door open for Emil. He flicked off the lights once they were both outside and Emil shoved his hands in his pockets as Sadık pulled the shutters down.

“Fine, thank you. No complaints.” Emil shrugged, and Sadık turned and grinned up at him from where he was crouched on the pavement fastening the padlock on the shutter.

“Caoimhe didn’t drive you too crazy did she?”

Emil had to suppress an eye roll at the mention of Caoimhe as Sadık stood up and they began to walk toward the car park. He didn’t answer the question, but realised he didn’t need to as Sadık laughed at the expression on his face.

“You’ll warm to her, I promise. She’s a lot to take in at first, but she works hard despite the impression she might have given off.”

They stopped by Sadık’s car and he unlocked it with his keyfob, the lights flashing as he did so.

“Well you did great today, so the job’s officially yours if you want it. It’s not much I know, but for a student it’s probably all you’re gonna get, and I wanna make sure I give the young’uns who want to work an opportunity. I’ll see you Sunday afternoon for your next shift?”

Emil couldn’t help but smile a little as he nodded.

When he thought about getting a job instead of going to college Emil didn’t really have a job like this in mind. But Sadık was kind, and he hadn’t turned down Emil’s application simply because of his age like every other place he’d sent his CV to. He’d given him a chance, and Emil was grateful. In a way, Emil was looking forward to learning a thing or two. Venus was a popular store in the heart of the downtown part of the city that Sadık had built up from the ground, and so he would learn a skill or two about business while he worked.

“Sure. I’ll see you Sunday.” Emil said, taking his earbuds out of his pocket and untangling them before turning to walk to the subway station, waving to Sadık as he got into the car. When he pulled out of the car park and drove past Emil just as he started down the steps to the subway station he honked his horn and waved at him from the car window.

Emil smiled as he put his earbuds in and pressed play on his ‘feel good’ Spotify playlist, a spring in his step.

\------------

Tino was pacing the living room when Emil arrived home just after 7pm. He’d been feeling more and more anxious as the day had gone on, and since he’d started to get ready for dinner at Berwald’s he’d changed his outfit three times, not liking how everything he put on seemed to cling to him in all the wrong places around his stomach and thighs as he stood in front of the mirror.

He didn’t feel this nervous at work when he saw Berwald, but the fact that things were beginning to move past just a co-worker fling probably had something to do with it.

“Hey, I’m home.” Tino heard the door close and Emil’s voice float through from the hallway. Peering round the door Tino watched as Emil hung his jacket up and kicked his shoes off before he looked up and saw him.

“Oh, Tino, you look nice,” he said, following Tino into the living room, “are you going somewhere?”

Tino smoothed out his sweater and smiled, pleased at the compliment even if it was only from Emil who was never anything but kind to him. He’d eventually settled on an oversized, red wine coloured mohair sweater, skinny jeans, and borrowed a pair of Lukas’s leather brogues that were polished and ready by the door for him to put on once Berwald was outside to pick him up.

“Oh I’m just going to Berwald’s for dinner,” he said, then wiggled his eyebrows a little as Emil held up his hand for a high five, a grin breaking out across his face at the news of Tino’s date.

“But it doesn’t matter about me, how was your first shift?” Tino didn’t leave Emil hanging, playfully returning the high five and squeezing his hand a little before letting go.

“It was fine. Sadık is really nice, and the other employee’s seem okay. My first full shift is on Sunday.” Emil flopped down onto the couch, and Lukas came out from the bathroom, wringing out his hair with a towel.

“I’m glad for you, Emil, just make sure that this job doesn’t interfere too much with your exams and graduation.” Lukas said, and Emil rolled his eyes.

“It won’t. It’s just Weekends and a couple of evening shifts after school. Don’t stress, Lukas.”

Tino clasped his hands together, “I know you’ll be fine. You can learn things from having a job that you just can’t be taught in school.” He said, then remembered something, “Oh, Leon came by earlier. I think he wanted to hang out but I told him you were at work. I said I would let you know.”

Tino noticed a puzzled expression cross Emil’s face as he sighed and dragged a hand across his face, and he glanced at Lukas for a moment across the room who just shrugged at his brothers’ odd reaction to his best friend calling on him.

“I’m sure I told him I had my trial shift today. Whatever, I’ll text him. Thanks Tino.” Emil said as he got up from the couch and wandered to the kitchen, yanking the fridge open and taking out some left over mac and cheese from last night’s dinner. He excused himself and took it to his room, leaving Lukas and Tino stood in the living room.

“Well, that was short and sweet.” Tino said, chuckling a little and pulling his phone from his pocket as it vibrated.

“What else do you expect from Emil?” Lukas sighed as he took a seat on the couch, stretching out and placing a cushion behind his head.

“Oh my god, he’s here already! It’s only twenty past 7, he said half past!” Tino cried, his hand flying up into his hair and he tugged on it a little, glancing between Lukas on the couch and his phone in his hand.

“What should I do? Do I look too eager if I’m ready already? Should I make him wait until half past?” he began to ramble as he crossed the room and pulled the curtains back, staring at the car parked on the street below.

“Tino, for goodness sake, will you stop worrying? You’ve been drivin’ me crazy fretting all afternoon. Don’t make him wait. You’ll seem like an asshole if you do that. I’m sure he would appreciate you being ready a little early.” Lukas said, straining his neck to look at Tino over the couch arm.

Tino came away from the window and smiled weakly at Lukas, his voice of reason as always.

“But what if it’s awkward?” Tino chewed on a loose piece of skin around his thumbnail and Lukas sat up, tossing the cushion to one side.

“It _won’t_ be awkward. But if it is, text me and I’ll come and pick you up. We’ll make an excuse.” Lukas said, then paused as he began to stand up from the couch, “I’ll come down with you to greet him if you want.”

“No! No, _that_ would be awkward. But thanks, Lu.” Tino flailed and pushed Lukas gently back down onto the couch. The sentiment was sweet, and Tino knew that Lukas wouldn’t have seen the weirdness in him walking Tino down from the apartment and waving him off as he got in the car like some sort of proud parent or sibling. Nope, too embarrassing.

He walked into the hallway and began to put his shoes on, bending down to tie the laces and then straightened up, peering into the mirror.

“ _It’s just a quiet date. You were the one who wanted this, remember_?” Tino muttered to himself as he subconsciously went to check his teeth in the mirror, before he remembered he didn’t have to do it anymore now that his braces were gone. Thankful for the unexpected confidence boost that his now straight smile gave him, he took his jacket down from the hook and opened the door.

“Right, I’m going!” he called to Lukas as he started out the door.

“Have fun! Remember to use a condom!” Lukas called back, and Tino felt his face furiously heat up.

“Fuck off, Lukas!”

He slammed the door closed and draped his coat over his arm, quickly stepping down the stairs leading to the backdoor and making his way out into the alley. He didn’t know if he were more annoyed at Lukas’s sassy comment or the fact that he probably wasn’t going to even be able to have sex tonight even if he wanted to with Berwald’s son under the same roof. Once outside, Tino could hear the low thrum of the engine from Berwald’s car and the headlights shone blindingly, bouncing off the brick wall of the back of Lukas’s shop. Taking in a breath before his nerves got the better of him he walked over to the car and slid into the passenger seat.

“Hi Ber.” He said, putting his coat by his feet in the foot well and reached for his seatbelt. As soon as he was in the car and his eyes fell on Berwald, his nerves seemed to disappear instantly. Berwald looked smart. He was dressed in a dark blue shirt and black jeans, and it looked like he’d had his hair cut too, it was cropped a little shorter. He looked hot.

“Hi. Wow.” Berwald said, and Tino glanced up at him from where he was fiddling with his seatbelt as he clicked it into the buckle.

“What?”

“Nothin’.” Berwald shook his head and grinned a little, looking away from Tino and casting his gaze out of the windshield as he put the car into gear and slowly dropped down from the kerb. As Berwald stopped at the intersection and waited for an opening in the traffic so he could pull out, Tino heard a small murmur and twisted a little in his seat to look over his shoulder at the back seat. There, slumped in his car seat, was Peter. His little blond head against the car door, fast asleep. His feet were bare and he was in a pair of blue pyjamas, the plush giraffe that Tino had noticed previously strewn across the back window ledge grasped tightly to his chest as he slept.

Tino turned back around and caught Berwald looking at him, his expression unsure.

“We drove around a little before we came to pick you up. He gets sleepy in the car and I thought it might be easier for ya if he was asleep.” Berwald muttered, and Tino felt a little guilty that he had put this much thought into introducing him to his son. Berwald had obviously picked up on the fact that he was a little uncomfortable with the thought of Peter, and Tino felt bad that he hadn’t tried to hide it very well.

“It’s his bedtime at 8, so he won’t be up for too long after we get back and he’s had his dinner already-“

Tino placed his hand over Berwald’s as it rested on the gear stick and squeezed it a little.

“Please don’t worry. I’m looking forward to meeting him.” Tino said, meeting Berwald’s eye as he quickly glanced away from the road. Although he was still a little apprehensive, Tino knew that it must be taking a lot for Berwald to feel comfortable enough to introduce him to Peter and was probably feeling just as weird about it, if not more so, and Tino wanted to try and get used to the idea.

As they drove along the main road, Tino and Berwald talked quietly about this and that, and soon enough they slowed down and Berwald brought the car to a stop on his driveway. As he turned the engine off and began to get out of the car, Tino glanced at the outside of his house, a little brick end terrace with steep stone steps leading to the front door. He sucked in a breath then unbuckled his seatbelt and got out.

He closed the car door gently and listened as Berwald roused Peter from his sleep and lifted him from the car seat, closing the rear door with his hip and walked around the back of the car. Peter was still sleepy, and snuggled close to Berwald’s neck as he blinked at Tino.

“Daddy cleaned the house for you. I helped.” Peter mumbled, and Tino couldn’t help but smile as a small blush broke across Berwald’s face as he stepped past him and climbed the four steps to the front door. Peter was still blinking at Tino from over Berwald’s shoulder as he unlocked the door, and Tino wondered why he’d ever been so concerned at the thought of the little 5 year old.

He stepped inside after Berwald and closed the front door, kicking his shoes off as Berwald set Peter down. The hallway was narrow, with a staircase immediately to the right and two open door frames to the left, one leading to the kitchen and one to the living room. The ceilings were high and the decorating style was modern and fresh for such an old house with a varnished wooden floor throughout. There was a wonderful smell coming from the kitchen and Tino followed Berwald and Peter down the hall.

“Tino look! I cleaned this for you today. Dad said we needed to make the house extra special.” Peter took hold of his hand and pulled Tino toward the glass patio doors on the other side of the kitchen that led out into the back yard. In the darkness outside Tino could just make out a swing set and a little trampoline. Peter pointed to the glass door,

“I’m going to be a window cleaner when I grow up.” He said proudly, then let go of Tino’s hand and ran over to Berwald as he was stirring something in a pot on the stove.

“Dad, can I show Tino my things? Do you think he’ll like my Lego zoo that I made?”

Peter swung from Berwald’s leg, suddenly full of energy,

“Maybe next time, Peter. Right now ya need to go and brush your teeth please. Bedtime soon.” Berwald chided, not looking away from the stove and Peter groaned,

“Do I _have_ to?” he whined, then sighed, defeated, when Berwald simply nodded and pointed towards the doorway. He trudged out of the kitchen, disappearing upstairs. His anger at being sent to get ready for bed didn’t last more than a couple of seconds though as Tino heard him singing a song to himself from the bathroom.

Tino wandered over to the stove and stood next to Berwald, peering into the pot.

“Mmm, that smells good. So what’s on the menu, Chef Ox?” he said with a smile, nudging Berwald a little with his shoulder.

Berwald straightened up a little, pulling his shoulders back and Tino didn’t miss the smirk on his face.

“Well, for starters we got fresh guacamole and dip, then for the main course it’s a beef and red wine chilli. I haven’t decided what we’re having for desert yet, I thought you could let me know what you want.”

Although Tino knew that Berwald could be quite playful, it still shocked him each time he said something that could be interpreted in a different way. 

“Oh really? We’ll I’ll just have to think about that then.” Tino said as he slid his hand into the back pocket of Berwald’s jeans, looking up into Berwald’s face then tiled his head up a little as Berwald leaned down and brought their lips together. The kiss was soft and sweet compared to the way they had last been all over each other in Berwald’s workshop, but yet it made Tino’s skin prickle over even more. The tenderness pretty much confirmed the feelings that were developing between the pair of them, both wanting to move away from just an office hook-up. Tino pulled away first, and placed his hand over Berwald’s that had cupped his cheek.

Then at the sound of little footsteps coming down the stairs, Berwald stepped away, a sorry expression on his face, and scooped Peter up as he appeared in the doorway.

“All clean Dad!” Peter announced, smiling widely at Berwald, flashing his teeth then giggled as Berwald blew a raspberry kiss against his cheek.

Tino leaned against the kitchen counter and watched them for a moment as Berwald held Peter close to him, tickling him as he shrieked and writhed in his arms. Peter seemed like a good kid, and the way that Berwald was with him made him even more attractive to Tino, though he couldn’t quite work out why. Perhaps it was the way his whole face softened when he looked at Peter as though he were the most precious thing in the world, or the way that he spoke to him, full of love and care. Whatever it was, Tino felt his heart warm.

\-----------

After Peter had said goodnight to Tino and Berwald had taken him up to bed and read him a quick story, Tino sat in the living room nursing a glass of wine. He’d looked around at the photos on the mantelpiece and on the coffee table, the majority of them were of Peter from a baby up to the 5 year old he’d met today. One was of another child however. He looked to be a couple of years older than Peter, with strawberry blond hair and when Tino stood up to take a closer look at the photo he noticed that the boy was sat on the lap of a woman with long hair. She had the same crooked smile and expression as Berwald.

His attention had been drawn away from the photographs when Berwald came down the stairs and called Tino through to the kitchen. Just as Tino walked in he’d finished lighting a candle in the middle of the table and stood a little awkwardly beside it, fiddling with his shirt sleeves as he pushed them up to his elbows.

“Dinner’s served.” He said, then pulled a chair out for Tino and motioned for him to sit.

The meal was delicious; though Berwald brushed off the compliments when Tino told him so and refilled Tino’s glass of wine whenever he’d emptied it.

Three glasses later, they were onto the main course and Tino started to feel a little intoxicated so he stood up to get himself a glass of water.

“Are you not having any wine, Ber?” he asked as he sat back down again and eyed Berwald’s own half empty glass of water.

“Can’t, gotta drive you back home later.” Berwald said simply between mouthfuls, and Tino couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that Berwald hadn’t thought that he might want to stay the night.

“Well, what if I don’t want you to drive me home? What if I wanted to stay here?”

Feeling bold, Tino took his wine glass and poured some red wine from the near empty bottle into it then slid it toward Berwald across the table. Berwald looked up from his plate, to the wine glass, then to Tino, and Tino noticed him swallow thickly.

“You sure?” he said lowly, and only picked up the wine and took a sip when Tino nodded, his small smile hidden behind the glass.

Now that he’d met Peter and gotten comfortable with the idea that he would be around, Tino knew that he wanted whatever was between he and Berwald to go somewhere. He really liked him, and could either sit and ponder at where this relationship might go, or actively do something about it.

\-------

They had stayed up into the early hours of the morning after they finished dinner, and Berwald had gotten out another bottle of wine. Leaving the dishes in the sink, Berwald lead Tino into the living room and they’d sat on the sofa and just _talked_. Tino asked about the photograph and the other child, and Berwald had told him all about his family back in Sweden. His sister, Linnea, was the woman in the photo, and the boy was her son, Elias. Tino listened as Berwald described them and told stories of how Elias and Peter would play together when they visited one another, and gently squeezed Berwald’s shoulder when he said how it had been a couple of years since he’d seen his family last.

There was a certain air of pleasant domesticity that Tino felt when he was with Berwald that he’d never felt with anyone else that he’d dated. At first he wasn’t sure if it was a good thing for him to feel so soon, but as the night drew on, Tino thought about how he could sit on that couch nestled against Berwald and find out everything there was to know about him and never tire of being beside him.

As it neared 2am, the second bottle of wine was empty and Berwald had commented on how Tino’s sweater was the same colour as he lifted it from him and tossed it to the living room floor. Tino was too tipsy to feel self-conscious about his body as Berwald admired him and nipped along the skin across his collarbone. They’d kissed on the couch until both of their lips began to get sore and Berwald ran his hands over Tino’s body as he lay underneath him, a hardness now growing in both of their pants.

*

Tino had nearly tripped on the stairs in his haste as he and Berwald went up to the bedroom, trying to keep as quiet as they could as they crept past Peter’s room. Once inside the bedroom, Berwald closed the door and Tino worked on unbuttoning his shirt between messy kisses, and as soon as his shirt was off Berwald stepped forward, pushing Tino down onto the mattress as the back of his legs hit the bedframe when he stepped back. Tino then watched for a moment as Berwald stood at the foot of the bed, gazing at him from underneath lust heavy eyelids and admired how incredibly sexy he was as he stood there shirtless, touching himself through his jeans, rubbing his hand against the bulge that was straining against the dark denim.

Tino undid the button on his own jeans and shifted so that he was kneeling on the bed, his knees sinking into the soft comforter. He wiggled his jeans over his hips and his ass, leaving them bunched half way down his thighs, not fussed about trying to take them all the way off and listened as Berwald drew in a sharp breath at the sight of his cock tenting his thin underwear. He was now incredibly hard, his pre-cum staining the grey fabric dark.

“God, Tino-“ Berwald exhaled as Tino crawled forward best he could on the bed while his legs were restricted by his trousers half way undone and unzipped Berwald’s jeans. Berwald rolled his hips forward as Tino yanked them down, pulling his boxers down with them, revealing his heavy erection. Tino watched as Berwald’s face flushed and his mouth hung open slightly, a perfect picture of debauchery and longing to be touched.

“Ber, can I?” Tino asked, his voice low and breathy. He was now at the edge of the bed, Berwald’s cock only inches from his mouth as he breathed hotly over it.

“Please.” Berwald managed to groan between gritted teeth, and Tino thought that his legs were about to give way as he brought a hand into Tino’s hair and balled his fist when he took the length into his mouth, pressing his tongue against the shaft. He placed one hand on Berwald’s hip, the other in his pants to stroke himself as he hummed against Berwald’s cock at the back of his throat. Berwald tipped his head back a little, only taking his hand from Tino’s hair to quickly take his glasses from his face and toss them onto the bed before they returned to the soft blond locks. Then he groaned a little too loudly, removing a hand from Tino’s hair again to clamp it over his mouth as Tino bobbed his head a little, swallowing deeply around Berwald’s dick.

Tino smiled around it and swallowed again, liking the reaction he’d gotten the first time while drawing small circles with his finger on Berwald’s hip.

“Fuck, Tino, I’m gonna come-“ Berwald grunted, quickly pulling out of Tino’s mouth before he could.

“I wanna come with you, wanna touch you.” He said, his words coming out in shaky breaths as he kicked away his jeans and underwear off that had fallen around his ankles after Tino had pulled them down. Shifting on the bed so that he was lay on his back, Tino pulled his own underwear down, his erection almost painful and looked at Berwald as he climbed onto the bed and placed his arms on either side of Tino’s head, palms splayed, so that he was gazing down on him. He watched as Berwald’s blue eyes swept over his body before he leaned the majority of his weight on one arm, his biceps tensing with the effort as he lifted the other hand away from the bed and brought it to Tino’s nipple, his fingers moulding the soft flesh around it before taking it between his thumb and first finger and twisting it causing Tino to buck his hips a little.

“Just touch me already, I need to come.” Tino said, his words commanding, and Berwald didn’t need to be told twice. He dropped down on the bed so that he was side by side with Tino and took both of their erections in his hand, pressing them together as he jerked them both off. He started off slowly, his thumb tracing the slit at the head of Tino’s cock, then pumped faster and faster until he came hard, turning his face and groaning and panting into the pillow under his head, followed by Tino, spilling hot and thick over their stomachs as they were tangled together on the bed. Berwald looked at Tino as he came, but Tino wasn’t looking at him and instead was watching how hot it was as Berwald jerked them off, their cocks pressed together.

*****

\---------

Sunlight streamed in through the thin voile curtains the next morning, and for a moment Tino forgot where he was until he rolled over and felt Berwald’s warm body against his own. He turned over fully so that he was looking at Berwald as he slept, his usually stern expression relaxed in his sleep.

Then, peering under the covers, Tino had to check that he was in fact naked as he thought back to last night to confirm that it hadn’t been one big wet dream, a huge grin breaking out across his face as he buried it in the duvet when he realised that it had been real. His head was throbbing a little and knew he had a hangover coming on as a result off too much wine, but couldn't bring himself to care. It was worth it. He felt Berwald stirring, and when he brought his face from the duvet and tucked it under his chin so that he could get a look at Berwald, he watched him as he rubbed his eyes a little and cracked them open.

“Tino,” he breathed, as though he couldn’t quite believe that Tino was still there, naked and warm in his bed beside him.

“Morning handsome.” Tino whispered, snuggling a little closer to Berwald and resting his head on his chest as Berwald kissed the top of it. He dragged his foot up Berwald’s calf, humming to himself as he felt Berwald tense beside him.

“About last night…” he began, his foot trailing higher until his leg was draped over Berwald under the covers, “What does this make us?”

Berwald laughed, and Tino turned to look at him,

“You mean you wanna be more than just co-workers who make out in secret?” he said, and Tino placed a soft kiss against the crook of his neck.

“Mm-hmm. I want us to be co-workers who wine and dine each other until we sneak upstairs to fool around.” He mumbled against Berwald’s neck, then shrieked a little as Berwald slid his arm underneath him and rolled them over so that Tino was laid on top of him and wrapped his arms around him, pinning him there.

“I think we already did that part. How ‘bout co-workers who decide to take things slow… co-workers who are-“

“Boyfriends?” Tino cut him off, smiling down into Berwald’s face.

“Boyfriends.” Berwald confirmed, and Tino pulled the duvet over their heads, bringing their lips together once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Boyfriends._
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and for giving this fic so much love, I really appreciate it! I really hope that this chapter is alright. I know not much happened, but I this chapter is the peak of the story now so I wanted to be quite slow with it as the boyfriend's finally become official after the slow burn lol.
> 
> See you all next chapter! I promise it won't be so long before I update again.
> 
> -lumassen x


	18. Chapter 18 - Going up in the world

**Chapter 18 – Going up in the world**

Matthias popped the toast from the toaster and picked it out with a knife. Then, he put it into the toast rack and placed it onto the kitchen island beside the jars of jam and honey that he'd gotten out already and slid into the empty stool opposite his sister.

"You shouldn't stick a knife in the toaster you know," Christina said as she took a slice of toast and drizzled honey across it from the pot.

It was Sunday morning, and Christina had come to visit Matthias for breakfast and a catch up, and to talk with him about her application for fashion design school. The two siblings were like peas in a pod, Christina the eldest of the two. They were sat at the breakfast bar in the kitchen balanced on the tall stools, the radio playing softly in the background and Matthias's old yellow Labrador, Penny, lay under their feet waiting for either of them to drop a tidbit. 

"Well I've been doing it since I was old enough to make my own toast and I'm not dead yet." He retorted with a grin, pouring a glass of apple juice from the pitcher in the middle of the table. 

Matthias lived in a small two bedroom house that used to be his grandmother's. It had been left to his parents, but they already had a house of their own by the time his grandmother passed away, and so they'd given it to Christina and Matthias. Christina preferred to live in the city centre in her studio apartment though that she also used as a makeshift design studio, and so she let Matthias make the house his own. She still made the effort to visit her brother whenever she could however, making sure he'd taken his meds and that he had enough food in the fridge on particularly bad days. 

Though it could get a little lonely sometimes, Matthias was fine living alone, and rather enjoyed it to a certain extent. He had Penny for company and enjoyed putting his own stamp on the house. He'd installed a huge greenhouse in the back yard, and raised beds full of vegetables that he grew himself. Plus, he could sing from the top of his lungs as he did the house work or have his friends over whenever he liked. But although he didn't mind living alone, it would be nice to eventually find someone to share his life with. As much as he adored his sister, he couldn't rely on her to be there for him all the time.

"So," Matthias began, swallowing a mouthful of toast then washing it down with some apple juice, "how's the prep going? Did Francis agree to look over some of your designs?" 

Christina put her half eaten toast down on her plate and brushed the crumbs from her fingers before leaning on the table,

"Yeah he did, but y'know what the weirdest thing was? He gave me a letter that came from the school addressed to my old name." 

Matthias blinked, “What, addressed to you as Jens?”

“Mm-hmm,” Christina hummed into her coffee as she raised her mug to her lips and took a sip, “but I called them and they updated it for me. Apparently they still had my record on file from when I applied previously and my address still matched. They were happy to change it, but I was still a little shocked.” She shrugged.

“Well, try not to worry about it, sis. Worry about the fact that you might be one of the next top fashion designers!” Matthias said enthusiastically, picking up the folder that Christina had brought with her.

“oh I’m not fussed about it, it was just strange seeing it written on the envelope,” Christina shook her head a little then smiled at her brother, taking the folder from him and opening it up. “and I wouldn’t go as far as to say _top_ fashion designer, but I’d be happy with just designer.”

She flipped through the pages, and Matthias leaned over the table to look over the designs as she went through them one by one. The sketches were light and breezy, a whole collection of high fashion outfits, some masculine, some feminine and some androgynous.

As Christina talked Matthias through the designs, his gaze flickered to her face for a moment, watching how she spoke so passionately. Although he was pleased for her, if she were successful and did end up going overseas Matthias would miss her so much. His sister was his best friend. He couldn’t help but feel a selfish desire to tell her not to go and hated himself for it, but he drew his attention back to the designs when she stopped talking for a minute and stopped on a particular page.

She pointed at the sketch then met his eye, “Would you model this one for me at the showcase? The design was inspired by you, so…”

Matthias beamed, “Of course I will!”

Deep down, Matthias knew that Christina was bound to find success as a designer. She was confident, talented, and people gravitated toward her. He was proud of her. No matter how sad it made him to think that soon she might be half way around the world, he would help her to get wherever she wanted to go.

After breakfast, Christina played fetch with Penny in the yard while Matthias cleared away and washed the dishes. He was just drying the last bowl when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Putting the dish towel down, he took it out and looked at the notification.

_’10:42am Facebook - Tino Väinämöinen liked your profile picture.’_

Confused, Matthias tapped the notification and opened up facebook, an old photo of him from 2017 loading onto the screen. Sure enough, whoever this person was had liked the photo, their name sitting underneath the picture within the list of people who’d liked it.

Turning to lean the small of his back against the kitchen counter, Matthias tapped on their name to bring up their profile and looked at their profile photos. His confusion grew as he swiped through the first couple, not recognising the person in them at all until he reached a group photo of some people sat around a table. As he studied the faces, a grin spread across his face. Next to the guy whose profile it was, sat Lukas.

“What are you grinning at?” Christina asked as she came back into the kitchen, slightly out of breath from chasing Penny around with muddy paw prints on her jeans.

Matthias looked up from his phone, grin getting wider still,

“Remember the guy I met for a drink on Thursday?”

Christina laughed and rolled her eyes, “Yes, how could I forget after you called me at 1am, drunk, to gush about how handsome and wonderful he is?”

“Well he doesn’t have facebook, but his friend must be stalking my page ‘cause he’s just accidentally liked an old pic.”

Moving to stand beside Matthias, Christina peered at his phone,

“Oh my god no way, which one is he? The one you went on a date with?”

Matthias opened the photo fully and pinched his fingers on the screen, zooming in on Lukas and Tino.

“That one, the one with the longer hair on the right.” He said proudly, and pointed to Lukas.

“Hang on a minute…” Christina said as she peered closer at the photo.

“What? Do you know him?” Matthias gasped.

“Er, no I don’t know him, but I know his friend. He works with me.”

Matthias watched Christina for a moment as she looked at the photo, her expression a little crestfallen before she straightened up again and her smile returned.

“You did good, lil’ bro! He’s gorgeous.” She said, patting Matthias on the shoulder.

He locked his phone and slid it back into his pocket, pushing himself off the counter and followed Christina as she wandered over to the couch.

“I know, right? He’s kinda funny too, and he’s real smart. What a small world that you work with his friend too!” Matthias laughed, picking up the TV remote from the couch. Pretty much as soon as he sank into the cushions on the three seater, Penny jumped up onto the couch and laid her head on his lap as he stroked her head. Christina sat on the smaller two seater opposite and pulled her legs up, taking out her own phone.

“We’ve texted every day since Thursday, and I wanna ask him on another date. Is it too soon d’ya think?” Matthias rambled on as he scrolled through the Netflix menu while he waited for Christina to reply. When she didn’t he tossed a cushion at her.

“What?” she snapped, looking up from her phone,

“I’m trying to get advice from my older sister, but you’re too busy to listen to me.” He whined, sticking out his bottom lip playfully.

She pushed her hair behind her ear and put her phone down,

“Sorry, I’m listening now…” she smiled, giving Matthias her full attention as he rambled on about asking Lukas on a next date.

\-------------

“Shit, Lukas I didn’t mean to, my hand slipped!” Tino flapped as he stared at his phone, “Should I unlike it? Or is that weirder? He’ll have already got the notification now anyway…”

He was sat in the middle of his sofa bed surrounded by his duvet and pillows in nothing but his boxers, his hair a tangled mess. He’d been awake for an hour or so, but his bed was warm and it was a Sunday so he hadn’t bothered to move.

“What does it matter? It’s only a photo. I don’t get it.” Lukas said as he handed Tino a mug of coffee and sat at the end of the bed, bringing his legs up and crossing them beneath him.

“Because I look like a creep! That photo was from 3 years ago!” Tino sighed as he took a sip of his coffee, tossing his phone onto the middle of the bed.

Lukas’s caught Tino’s eye and fiddled with the sleeve of his dressing gown,

“Tell me what you think…” he probed, his voice soft.

“Oh, right. Sorry Lu,” Tino remembered why exactly he’s been stalking Matthias’s profile pictures, “He seems really nice. He’s not bad looking either. I’m happy for you.” He smiled, watching as a small blush crept over Lukas’s cheeks.

Between Lukas not waking up until late on Friday and missing Tino before he went to work, and then Tino dashing off to Berwald’s, the two hadn’t really had the chance to discuss Lukas’s date until last night at dinner after Berwald dropped him off home.

Tino was nothing short of elated that his best friend was coming to terms with his sexuality. For the majority of the time he’d known Lukas he’d been single apart from the couple of months at the start of college when he’d been dating a girl from his home town long distanced, but it hadn’t lasted long. He could see a noticeable difference in Lukas, he seemed happier, and Tino would catch him smiling down at his phone now that he knew to look for it.

His phone chimed on the bed as a text notification came through, and Tino put his coffee down on the windowsill behind him and picked it up.

_‘SMS from Christina: wtf why didn’t you tell me that your best friend is dating my brother’_

Tino read the message twice, then his head snapped up and his eyes followed Lukas as he got up and went back into the kitchen, taking some cereal down from the cupboard.

He looked back at the screen and his fingers flew over the keyboard,

_‘SMS to Christina: what??? I didnt know that! Matthias is your brother?? x’_

Hugging the duvet a little closer to his chest, Tino watched as Christina typed her reply,

_‘SMS from Christina: yeah… I pretended to Matt that I dont know who Lukas is. Why were you stalking his pics lol?’_

_‘SMS to Christina: omg I wasnt stalking him!! Lu just wanted to show me a pic of him and I accidentally liked it. He’s kinda smitten with him yknow xx’_

_‘SMS from Christina: Same on this end… Its been Lukas Lukas Lukas all weekend. You need to spill more deets tomorrow x’_

As Christina had done, Tino decided it was best not to tell Lukas that Matthias was Christina’s brother. Surely they would figure it out themselves eventually, and he didn’t want to make it awkward for Lukas who also knew Christina.

He locked his phone and slid out of bed, bundling up his duvet and pillows and putting them away in the chest in the corner. Then, just as he was folding the bed away and putting the couch cushions back, Emil walked through into the living room.

“Mornin’ Tino.” He mumbled, and Tino turned to look over his shoulder at him,

“Morning, Em!” he said with a smile, then turned back to fluff the couch cushions up.

Emil watched as Lukas came through from the kitchen, a bowl of cereal in his hand, eating it as he walked across the room, and then stared at Tino who took his mug of coffee from the windowsill and finished it off and huffed as he put his coat on.

“Well it’s alright for you two isn’t it, still lounging around undressed at 11am. I was up until 3am studying and now I gotta go to work.” Emil snapped as he disappeared into the hall to put his shoes on, and Tino glanced at Lukas who just shrugged.

“You guys just don’t get it!” he carried on, his voice carrying through from the hall. “Right, I’m going. Have a nice day doing nothing!”

Lukas and Tino blinked at each other as the front door slammed closed.

“What the fuck?” Tino gaped, stunned at the outburst, and suppressed a laugh as he shook his head slowly.

Lukas just hummed, scraping his spoon against the bottom of his cereal bowl.

“Teenagers.”

\-----------------

As Emil stepped off the subway and made his way up the steps and onto the street, he started to feel bad for snapping at Lukas and Tino for no good reason, but he just felt stressed. Despite studying all night he didn’t feel like any of it had sunk in.

The start of his final exams were only a few weeks away and he would be graduating in just less than two months. Though he was pleased with his job at Venus, Emil couldn’t help but wonder if he’d made a bad decision by not going to college. He had an example at home of someone who had been to college, Tino, and someone who hadn’t Lukas, and both of them were successful in their own respects. But with all of his friends now talking about which colleges they’d been accepted into, Emil couldn’t help but regret his decision not to at least apply like Leon had suggested.

He sighed as he neared Venus, taking his earbuds out and closing Spotify. It was 11:30, and he’d arrived just on time for his shift. The bell above the door chimed as he walked in, and he headed straight for the back room and hung his coat and bag up. He heard Caoimhe and Isak laughing about something at the back of the store room as he tied his apron.

“It’s not my fault you didn’t listen to me. That dealer is dodgy! Let me hook you up next time, okay?” he heard Caoimhe say as she teased Isak about something.

There was something about Caoimhe that Emil was unsure about. She seemed like a nice enough girl, but she was quick witted and seemed to have an answer for everything. Emil listened at their voices grew nearer and focused all of his attention on tying his apron so as to appear distracted when they stepped out from the aisle where the extra stock of tins of olives and dolma were stored, piled high.

“Oh, hiya! I didn’t hear you come in, how are ya?” Caoimhe said as she came over to him, grinning wildly.

“So, you made it official. Welcome to club Venus! Finally I’m not the youngest anymore.”

Emil caught her eye as she laughed and patted him on the shoulder. She was about a head shorter than he was, but Emil couldn’t help but feel a little inferior next to her.

Then, Sadık stuck his head in through the door and called to Isak and Caoimhe, complaining that they shouldn’t both be in the back at the same time while there were customers to serve. They both scurried out, ducking under Sadık’s arm as he held the door open, and he laughed and fully entered the room.

“If you ever see them both back here together, just know that they aren’t meant to be. I don’t want you learning bad habits from them.” He said to Emil, though there was no anger in his voice and his expression was just as relaxed as it always was.

“So, Sunday shifts are nice and easy. There’s no delivery, so today you’ll just be on re-fills today…”

Sadık showed Emil around the back room and explained that whenever he was bringing stock out to refill the shop floor, always pick from the front of the shelf so the items with the closest expiry date went out for customers to buy instead of sitting in the back and passing the date. Then he went over how to use the pricing machine, and set him to work.

“I need to go to the mosque for zuhr, but I won’t be long. Iakovos is in charge until I get back, so if you need anything, just ask him okay? Start with these jars here, but they’re expensive so make sure you price them right.” Sadık said, tapping a box on the shelf before as he turned and headed for the door.

“Sure, will do.” Emil nodded, and Sadık gave him a thumbs up before the door slammed closed behind him.

\------

Emil been in the back room for about half an hour, and had just finished pricing the jars of black olives as he was asked. The second part of the task was to re-stock the shelves, and so carefully he took the box from the shelf and carried it to the door. There were so many jars in the box and it was heavy, so as he went to open the door Emil balanced his weight on one leg and lifted the other up so his knee was supporting the underside of the box as he reached for the door. Before he could grab the handle though, the door swung open and knocked the box of olive jars out of his hands.

He jumped back as it crashed to the floor, the jars of olives smashing as they hit the concrete, sending brine splashing up the wall and Emil’s legs and glass to shatter across the room.

“Oh my god, Egil, I’m so sorry I didn’t know you were behind the door.” She said from beneath her hands that she’d clamped over her mouth. She tiptoed into the room and picked her way through the broken glass, and Emil stood frozen to the spot as brine soaked through his socks and his jeans.

Exhaling sharply, he glared at the back of Caoimhe’s head as she reached for the mop and bucket in the corner.

“It’s Emil, and of course you didn’t.” he said bitterly, watching as Caoimhe wheeled the mop bucket over to the sink in the corner of the store room and began to run warm water into it.

“Emil, got it, sorry. Look, I’ll help you clean this up, wanna grab the broom from the utility cupboard and start sweeping the glass up?”

As a complete contrast from her usual careless attitude, she sounded genuinely apologetic as she scraped her frizzy red hair back into a ponytail and away from her face. Stepping over the spilt olives that covered the floor, Emil went over to the cupboard and retrieved the broom.

“Those jars were £14 a jar, and I’m sure there were 20 in the box.” Emil fretted, his face pale as he thought about how much money he’d lost Sadık by dropping them. He cringed as he started to sweep them up, dust and dirt from the floor sticking to the ridiculously expensive olives as they rolled across the floor beneath the broom.

“Don’t worry about it, just hurry before Sadık comes back.” Caoimhe said as she started to mop the floor. The room smelt heavily of the brine, and no matter how much Emil scrubbed the wall with a damp cloth when he’d finished sweeping up, the stains that had splashed up it weren’t shifting. If anything wiping it had made it worse.

Just as he’d pulled himself up off the floor, the door to the back room opened and Sadık walked in.

“What’s going on? There’s a huge line of customers out there and Iakovos said he’s been calling you both! Why are you both in here when I _told_ you-“

“Sorry, it’s my fault. I dropped something and Emil came to check if I was alright. It’s not his fault.” Caoimhe interrupted him, and Emil scrambled to his feet like a deer caught in headlights.

Sadık raised an eyebrow,

“Is that true, Emil?”

Not wanting to get in trouble on his first real day on the job, Emil wrung his hands a little and nodded, “Yeah, I-uh, heard a crash and I came to check what happened.”

Sadık sighed, running his hands through his hair as he looked at the pile of olives and glass swept neatly into a pile and then back to Emil and Caoimhe.

“Alright, well, at least you’re alright, Caoimhe. It’s only stock. Both of you get cleaned up and back on the shop floor as quickly as you can.” He said, then left the room.

Emil released a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding as Caoimhe turned to him.

“Why did you say that? Why did you take the blame?” he asked her as she pulled her hair free from her ponytail, her green eyes sparkling as she grinned at him.

“Sadık doesn’t have the heart to get rid of me. I’ve messed up so many times, and I know I’m a handful, but he never seems to discipline me. We’ll, not anything more than a quick ‘don’t do it again’ anyway.” She said, deepening her voice as she mimicked Sadık.

“Besides, it’s your first day on the job, I couldn’t let ya embarrass yourself like that. I’ve been there and it’s not fun.”

Emil stared at her as she stood in front of him, and felt himself warming to her. She was loud, a little obnoxious and way too boisterous, but she was kind, and Emil felt bad for judging her the way he did.

“Thank you. I appreciate it.” He said, wiping his forearm across his brow, giving her a small smile.

“Don’t worry about it. Just have my back in return if I ever need it, yeah?” she said, and Emil nodded.

“I’m not making any promises, it depends what you do.” He said with a smirk, and she smacked him lightly on the arm.

“Hey, you can’t make half arsed promises! But I’ll let you off this time.”

The pair of them cleaned up quickly, Emil gathered the olives and broken pieces of the glass jars and tipped them into the cardboard box they’d fallen from. He tossed the whole thing into the trash can by the delivery shutters while Caoimhe filled in the stock loss form.

“Well, you’ve cost us a £280 loss on your first day, nice one.” She teased as she scribbled her name across the bottom of the form.

“I wouldn’t have dropped them if you didn’t come barging through the door!” he cried, defensive, but she just laughed.

“I’m joking, I’m joking, calm down.” She held her hands up in front of her in feigned innocence.

“Come on, we need to get onto the shop floor.” Emil muttered as he stormed past her and over to the door, pulling it open and holding it for Caoimhe as she followed behind him as they left the stockroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh I'm not sure on this chapter, its kinda dialogue heavy, I'm sorry. I hope it flows well between each characters POV too. I also feel like the last two chapters have been boring cause I've toned it down on the drama lol but don't worry, there's some on the horizon.
> 
> A quick clear up, Iakovos is Cyprus, and Caoimhe is my lil' oc for Northern Ireland in case you're wondering. 
> 
> Also, Christina is trans, mtf, but I wanted y'all to see her for the woman that she is, and not let the fact that she's trans become the first thing you know about her which is usually how trans people are written. 
> 
> When writing, you don't need your characters to 'pass'. If you write a character using she/her pronouns, then the reader will already see them as a woman. I guess I wanted to highlight the fact that if someone says they're a woman and uses she/her pronouns, then you should just see them as a woman regardless of if they pass or not. The same goes for all trans people with whatever pronouns they use. I didn't want to make a big song and dance about it, which is why it was revealed the way that it was, and I hope it came across in the way that I wanted it to.
> 
> But anyway, THANK YOU for over 700 hits on this! Like, wow, I'm blown away!! 
> 
> Also, look at these two drawing's that amazing lietpolhun did based on this fic!!
> 
> https://ho-ku-o-five.tumblr.com/post/623923106747138048  
> https://ho-ku-o-five.tumblr.com/post/623923152012050432
> 
> I'm overwhelmed with everyone's kindness and waking up to new kudos and comments honestly is the best part of my day. I just wanna be a good writer and I crave validation ;w;
> 
> Also, we're getting close to 100k words on this fic, and I'm wondering how I'm going to start wrapping it up and if I can do it before 100k. I still have two things that are yet to happen for a couple characters, but once I've written those ideas out I'll start to think about an ending. I'm painfully aware that we're at chapter 18 already :') 
> 
> But yeah, thanks so much for reading! See you next chapter!
> 
> -lumassen x


	19. Chapter 19 - A Trio no more

**Chapter 19 – A Trio no more**

6:45pm, Saturday night, and Lukas lay on the couch flipping through the TV channels, the blue glow of the screen the only source of light in the living room. He’d been on the couch for a couple of hours and hadn’t bothered to get up to put the light on after it had gone dark outside.

It was the first time Lukas had had the house all to himself in years; Tino was at Berwald's house where he'd spent every weekend for the past couple of weeks, and Emil had plans to watch a movie at the cinema with Leon tonight after work. 

After cycling through all the channels and ending up back where he started, Lukas pressed the button on the remote and turned the TV off, the living room falling into darkness apart from the faint, burning red glow at the end of his cigarette as he took a drag. 

With Tino not being home as much these days and Emil either at school, working, or holed up in his room studying, Lukas had been feeling lonelier than ever. He'd argued with Emil for not doing his share of the chores before he'd stormed out of the house earlier that afternoon and he couldn't help but now feel terrible about it. He loved Emil and only wanted what was best for him but also wanted to raise him in the best way that he could; and that was to be a responsible young adult with the world at his fingertips, prepared for anything.

Lately though Lukas felt that they were drifting apart a little as Emil now had a new found independence through his job and having his own income and wasn't at home as much to rely on him. They rarely argued, especially over something as trivial as doing his chores. Sighing as he sat up, Lukas fumbled in the darkness for the lamp on the side table beside the couch and flicked it on, blinking blearily for a moment until his eyes adjusted to the light before taking one final drag from his cigarette then stubbed it out in the ashtray.

He looked at the stack of books that he was half way through in front of the lamp on the table, then to the pile of sketches and drawings strewn on the coffee table that had remained unfinished for months. A couple of them now had coffee rings on them from where someone in the house had put a drink down on them. Now that the shop was a little busier, Lukas had thrown all of his time into it, working six days a week, sometimes seven, to keep it going, and despite business picking up he still couldn’t really afford to employ anyone else, not while he still had a lot of debt.

Over the past couple of weeks however, even though he was usually too rushed off his feet to enjoy it, Matthias had made a habit of bringing lunch for Lukas from the café. A tuna toastie and a black coffee, always ‘on the house’ even when Lukas insisted he pay for it. 

_Matthias_.

It had been a couple of weeks now since their date, and Matthias had made every opportunity to get Lukas to meet up with him again, but Lukas was either always working, or when he wasn’t Matthias was busy.

Sitting back on the couch and digging his phone out from where it had fallen between the couch cushions, Lukas opened up his text messages.

_SMS to Matthias: ‘Want to meet for a drink?’_

Watching the seconds tick by on the clock above the TV, Lukas set his phone down on the couch beside him and drummed his fingers on his knee while he waited for Matthias’s reply. Then as his eyes wandered around the dimly lit room they stopped on the photographs on the wall. He looked at them for a moment before picking his phone up again,

 _SMS to Lillebror_ : ‘ _Sorry for arguing with you before. You’re balancing lots of things at the moment and just know that I’m proud of you. Enjoy your movie and we’ll talk later. xx’_

Just as he sent the text to Emil, his phone buzzed in his hand as Matthias’s reply came through,

_SMS from Matthias: Sorry I cant. Given up drinking…_

Lukas stared at the screen for a moment, his eyes narrowed as they read over the words in front of him not believing the excuse,

_SMS to Matthias: Seriously? Well just come here then instead. I have an empty house and a coffee machine._

He could see Matthias typing as he sent the reply, but as soon as it had been read the typing animation stopped.

Throwing his head back so that it was resting on the back of the couch, Lukas stared at the ceiling, a little irritated as how much his heart was hammering in his chest at the thought of Matthias; a feeling that he thought might go away after weeks of them texting and ever so subtly flirting.

His phone vibrated in his hand once more, and he sat himself forward to look at it. He was half expecting Matthias to blow him off after the first stupid excuse, and so his eyes widened when he opened the text,

_SMS from Matthias: I was gonna say I was joking and that of course I would like a drink with u but now youve given me a better offer. I’ll be half an hour. See u soon :P_

Lukas read over the text again, scrutinising every word before he leapt up from the couch, putting his phone down on the coffee table as he stood in a slight frozen panic in the middle of the living room.

“Shit, shit, _shit_ ,” he muttered to himself as he hastily gathered up all of the scattered papers from the coffee table and put them in a neat pile by the letter rack, then picked up empty cups and glasses from around the room before hurrying through to the kitchen and dropping them into the sink. As he pulled on the rubber gloves and ran water into the sink to do the dishes Lukas was regretting sending that nice text to Emil now and wished that his brother had just done the goddamn dishes. 

It didn't take him too long to get through them, and once he'd hastily piled them up on the draining board he ripped off the gloves and did one final sweep of the living room, fluffing up the couch cushions and picking up a pair of Tino's socks that were abandoned on the rug. 

Then after eyeing the clock, Lukas made his way through the apartment and into his bedroom. He didn't have enough time for a shower, so instead he quickly changed out of his shorts and t-shirt and into a pair of jeans and a grey sweatshirt. He was just fixing his hair in the mirror when there was a knock at the door. Staring at his reflection for a moment, Lukas drew in a deep breath before padding down the hallway to open the door. 

He found Matthias on the other side peering over the balcony, but once Lukas opened the door he turned to look at him, a huge grin breaking across his face.

"Hey, I parked in the spot next to your car. Hope that's okay?" Matthias said as Lukas stepped aside and held the door open for him.

"Yeah that's fine." Lukas mumbled as he watched Matthias wipe his feet and kick his shoes off.

"I brought a couple of beers and some wine, I'll put them in the fridge. Where's your kitchen?" 

Matthias held up a canvas tote bag, the bottles clinking together as he did so, and Lukas raised his eyebrow,

"But you're driving, surely you shouldn't drink- oh." He began, then realised why Matthias was probably so quick to accept the offer to come over to his house, feeling his face flush furiously. Matthias lowered the bag, a look of embarrassment on his own red face, 

"Sorry, I didn't think- I just assumed-" he stammered, putting the bag down next to his shoes.

"It's fine. You don't have to stay if you don't want to." Lukas said as casually as he could while still holding the door open.

“Nah course not, we can just hang out!” Matthias’s smile returned as he looked around the apartment, 

“Your house is really cool. It’s a lot bigger up here than you’d think!” he said, wandering off down the hall as Lukas closed the door. 

* 

After about an hour, Lukas felt a lot more relaxed and the initial awkwardness between he and Matthias had subsided as they sat on the couch. However, there was still a little tension though, and Lukas noticed that Matthias had sat as far away from him as he could on the couch as they drank coffee and talked. They had ordered a take out not long ago, and the TV played quietly in the background. As much as Lukas wanted to pay attention to Matthias’s story about his dog, he couldn’t help but wonder how Matthias actually felt towards him. The fact that he’d come over with the intention to stay the night pretty much confirmed it, but Lukas was still questioning his own feelings,

“Can I ask you a question?” Lukas said, stopping Matthias just before he was going to go off on a tangent about puppies.

He stopped talking and glanced at Lukas, looking a little puzzled but still smiled nonetheless,

“Sure, what’s up?”

Taking a sip of his coffee, Lukas eyed Matthias over the rim of his mug for a moment, trying to work out exactly how he wanted to phrase his question before he swallowed,

“If you did stay over tonight like you planned, how would the night have gone?” he said, and Matthias fidgeted, suddenly unable to hold eye contact with Lukas.

“I, uh, well, I’m not sure. I like you, Lukas, a lot. I guess I didn’t really think too much about it, I just wanted to hang out with you.” Matthias spoke quickly and Lukas couldn’t help but smile. Over their texts Matthias had been nothing but kind and funny, and Lukas found that recently the best part of his day was when the bell chimed above the door to the shop at a couple minutes past 1pm and Matthias would come in, brown paper bag in hand. 

Lukas was just about to tell Matthias that he liked him too, the words on the tip of his tongue when there was a light knock at the door.

Matthias exhaled sharply and laughed awkwardly,

“Saved by pizza.” he said as Lukas sighed and dragged himself from the couch. As he walked through the hallway and to the door he eyed Matthias’s bag on the floor still abandoned by his shoes and thought that beer and pizza might not be a bad combination after all. But when he opened the door his smile fell away,

“Leon, what are you doing here? Emil’s not here, he’s at work, aren’t you meeting him at the cinema?” 

“Well he didn’t show up and he’s not answering his phone so I thought he might be here.” Leon said with a shrug, and Lukas opened the door wider for him to step inside.

“How long did you wait for him?” Lukas asked as he closed the door. Leon had been here more than enough times to feel comfortable around Lukas and he kicked his shoes off and hung his coat up straight away before heading down the hall.

“About half an hour. The movie had already started by the time I thought to come and check here- Oh, Hi.” Leon began before he stopped in the doorway to the living room when he spotted Matthias on the couch,

“Hey,” Matthias said as he scrambled up from the couch and stood in the middle of the living room looking between Leon and Lukas.

“Matthias, this is Leon.” Lukas said as he pushed past Leon and picked up his phone from the coffee table. There was an uncomfortable silence building in the room as Lukas dialled Emil’s number and listened to it ringing before it went to voicemail. He watched as Leon came into the room and sat gingerly on the very edge of the armchair as he re-dialled Emil, but this time it went straight to voicemail.

\---------------

“You know what the most frustrating part is? He has _exactly_ the same degree that I do! Who does he think he is?”

Tino shouted to Berwald across the kitchen from where he was sitting at the dining table while Berwald did the dishes. He had been colouring with Peter quite peacefully after they’d eaten dinner until Berwald made the mistake of asking about what Tino thought of the new freelancer at ICON - Ivan.

Over the past few weeks Tino had tried to be a civil as possible, but his patience was now wearing thin due to the fact that Ivan kept treating him as though he was his assistant; leaving files on his desk for him to copy or asking him to redirect his calls, and every time Tino would protest Ivan would say that ‘ _Francis said you wouldn’t mind_ ’. 

“Why don’t ya speak to Francis if it’s bothering you this much?” Berwald said, and Tino nearly snapped the pencil crayon that he was holding in half,

“I’ve tried, Ber! But Francis seems to think the sun shines out of Ivan’s butt and just asks me to help him out and that it wouldn’t be for long.” he cried, slamming the crayon down onto the table before he stood up to walk over to Berwald.

“The sun can’t shine out of someone's butt! It would hurt! Did you know that if you look at the sun too long it burns holes in your eyes? Zoey told that to me.” Peter said, chatting away to himself as he continued colouring at the table. 

Tino watched as Berwald smiled fondly at Peter before he turned to face him as he leaned against the counter beside him.

“You have to help me here Ber, or I’m going to lose it.” Tino said with a sigh.

“You’ve already stormed out of yer job once, I don’t know if it would go down well if ya did it a second time.” Berwald said with a smirk, causing Tino to pick up the dish cloth and flick it at him,

“Ha Ha, very funny.” Tino rolled his eyes, “Well that means you definitely have to help me, or I’m a gonner.”

Berwald shook his head and laughed as he pulled the plug out of the sink and held his hand out to grab the dish cloth that Tino was holding to dry his hands, but Tino held it up and out of reach,

“Ah ah, if you want it you have to pay me,” he said, puckering his lips and fluttering his eyelashes.

“Tino, not in front of Peter,” Berwald said lowly, his expression unreadable, and Tino stopped teasing and handed him the dish cloth, watching as Berwald dried his sudsy hands on it and hung it up.

He was just about to ask Berwald what was wrong when his phone started ringing in his pocket. Pulling it out he pushed himself off the counter and brought it to his ear,

“Hey Lukas, what’s up?”

Tino listened as Lukas rambled down the phone, growing more concerned with everything that he said.

“What do you mean? Leon’s there? Lukas, slow down. I can’t tell what you’re saying.” Tino shouted down the phone, causing Berwald to look over at him, his eyes narrowed,

“Okay, I’ll be home soon. Don’t panic, alright?” swallowing thickly and running a hand through his hair, Tino shoved his phone back into his pocket.

Berwald had a worried look on his face as Tino stood in the middle of the kitchen,

“It’s Emil, he’s gone missing.”

\-------------

Lukas paced the living room, his eyes glued to the screen of his phone, only looking up when he heard the front door slam signalling Tino’s arrival back home.

“Any sign of him?” he said, feeling the panic rising in his voice as he took in Tino’s strained expression.

“No, but we’ll find him Lukas. I promise.” Tino said, a little breathless, and Lukas returned his attention back to his phone. He’d called Emil several more times and left text messages, all of which had gone unanswered until he finally called the police. Matthias had eventually left, offering to drive Leon home, only setting off when he knew that Tino was on his way back home and that Lukas wouldn’t be alone for too long. Lukas had promised to text him once Emil was back home and safe.

“We looked everywhere. We even drove to the cinema and I went in and asked the ticket office if Emil had come in and showed them a photo of him. Berwald is waiting in the car downstairs if there’s anywhere else that you want to try?” Tino pressed, and Lukas racked his brains trying to think of _anywhere_ that Emil might have gone. It was nearly 11pm now, and Emil’s shift finished at 7:30pm, and the thought of Emil possibly being missing for hours now made him feel sick with worry.

“What about the store he works in?” he said, and Tino sighed,

“We drove past and it was all locked up. Oh! But what if his boss knows anything?” Tino exclaimed, pulling his phone out and Lukas watched as his fingers flew across the screen.

“It’s called Venus, right? The store?” he looked up at Lukas and he nodded,

“I think so. Is there a number you can call?” Lukas said. He was clutching at straws now as he crossed the room to stand beside Tino, peering over his shoulder as he typed in the name of the store into Google, but every idea they had was worth trying..

“There’s a mobile number attached to the store details,” Tino said as he tapped the number and put the phone on loudspeaker. Lukas held his breath while they listened to the dialling tone, then grabbed Tino’s arm when the dialling stopped and someone answered,

“Hello, this is Sadık speaking?” 

Tino’s eyes widened and a hopeful smile broke across his face as he shouted into the phone, causing Lukas to flinch,

“Hello! I’m Tino, we’re calling about Emil, he works for you.” 

Lukas listened to the conversation as Tino told Sadık that Emil hadn’t shown up to the cinema or come home, and Sadık mentioned that there was a club in the city that two of his employees, Caoimhe and Iakovos went to after work at the weekends sometimes. 

“There’s a possibility that Emil might have gone with them. I’ll text you the address to this number. Let me know if you need anything else, okay?” Sadık said, and Tino thanked him profusely before hanging up.

  
  


\--------

The music coming from inside the club was booming as Berwald pulled up outside. Peter was wide awake in the back seat, thrilled at the fact he was still allowed to be up at nearly midnight as he pointed out the window at all the bright neon lights. Tino could tell that Berwald was less than thrilled, yet he was determined to help him and Lukas find Emil in any way that he could. 

“Dad, why are we here? Are you going to a disco?” Peter asked, and Tino glanced at Berwald as he pinched the bridge of his nose and leant his head against the window,

“No Peter, we aren’t going to a disco. Please be quiet for a minute.” he said, and Tino reached over to squeeze his knee gently,

“I won’t be long Ber. I hope that Emil is here for our sakes, but I wouldn’t want to be him when I’m finished with him. I’ll call you with an update.” Tino smiled weakly as Berwald nodded before opening the car door and hauling himself out onto the busy street and watched Berwald drive away to park up around the corner.

Saturday nights were undoubtedly the busiest in this part of the city, and Tino dodged countless groups of revelers until he found the entrance to the club that Sadık had given them the address for. Emil was 17 and still underage to drink, and so as much as Tino hoped that he wouldn’t be inside he knew that these days it was all too easy for teens to bag their way into a club, especially if they were with others who were over 18. 

Looking up at the sign above the door reading ‘Lebowski Bar’ Tino shook his head before stepping up to the door only to be stopped by the doorman.

“ID please.” he said, sticking his arm out to block Tino from entering.

“I don’t have any ID on me, but I’m not going inside to drink, I just need to get someone!” Tino protested, growing even more irritated when the doorman laughed and firmly took hold of Tino’ arm to move him aside as he left a group of girls in skimpy dresses inside.

“Hey, let me in! Look, there’s possibly a minor in there, and you could get in serious trouble for letting them in!” Tino was yelling now, pointing angrily in the face of the doorman until he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He spun around, ready to have a go at whoever it was when he realised who it was.

“Mr Kirkland! What are you doing here?” Tino asked, watching as Arthur dropped his cigarette to the floor and smothered it beneath his shoe.

“I was just on my way to meet someone when I saw you shouting at this guy,” Arthur said, jutting his chin in the direction of the doorman, “is everything alright?”

Now that they were out of the office, Tino was shocked at how different Mr Kirkland seemed without a suit and tie and instead in skinny jeans and an expensive looking leather jacket. He closed his gaping mouth and drew his shoulders back, looking up at Arthur as he nodded,

“I think my… uh, my nephew is in there. He’s gone missing and we’ve been told that he might be here but this asshole won’t let me in.” Tino exhaled sharply then watched as Arthur stepped around him and went over to the doorman, leaning in close to him and saying something just out of earshot. The doorman turned bright red as Arthur turned to Tino and beckoned for him to follow. Tino didn’t hesitate, slipping past the doorman and into the club.

“I’ll stay here while you look,” Arthur shouted above the music, moving to stand by the wall as Tino nodded and began to push himself through the crowd. The club was heaving, and Tino didn’t even begin to know where to look. He was in the middle of the dancefloor, and narrowly avoided having a drink spilled on him as a guy carrying four beers bumped into him. Growing exasperated, Tino clenched his fist and pushed deeper into the crowd. He was just debating climbing up onto one of the tables so that he could see across the club when he spotted Emil through a gap in the bodies on the dancefloor for a split second.

Shoving past a giggling group of girls, Tino marched over to Emil where he stood with a red-haired girl with a drink in his hand.

“Emil. Emil!” he shouted, then watched the colour drain from Emil’s face when he turned round and saw him. 

“Tino! What are you doing here?” he spluttered, his eyes darting between Tino and the girl he was with.

Tino narrowed his eyes as he snatched the drink from Emil’s hand and slammed it down onto a nearby table, ignoring the dirty looks he received from the group of people sat around it,

“I should be the one asking you that question. Emmie, we _called the police_! Your brother is at home worried sick, and there’s people out looking for you!” Tino snapped, and Emil rolled his eyes,

“But I’m fine! Lukas needs to learn that I’m growing up. I’m not a kid anymore.”

“Oh yeah? And is this how mature adults act? Turning their phone off to ditch their best friend and worry their family? Come on, we’re leaving.” Tino took hold of Emil’s wrist and dragged him back through the crowd, elbowing people out of the way until he reached Arthur who’d stayed by the door like he’d said he would.

“So you found him then?” Arthur said, and Tino watched as Emil shrank a little beneath Arthur’s gaze.

“Yeah I did, I can’t thank you enough, Mr Kirkland.” Tino wiped his brow, his hair growing damp from the closeness of the room. 

“No need to thank me. Are you able to get home alright?” Arthur followed Tino and Emil out onto the street and Tino finally let go of Emil’s wrist to dig his phone out. He flashed it at Arthur,

“Yep, Berwald is waiting for us somewhere, I just need to call him” he said, then clamped his hand over his mouth realising he’d let slip to Arthur that he was clearly on more than colleague to colleague terms with Berwald.

But instead of asking questions, Arthur simply smiled and patted Tino lightly on the back.

“I see. Well, get home safe and I’ll see you on Monday.” he said then turned on his heel and was gone into the hustle and bustle of the street.

Now that they were out in the cooler air, Tino was feeling much better as he sent a text to Berwald to let him know that he’d found Emil and they were outside, but when he turned to Emil to find that the colour hadn’t returned to his face.

He raised an eyebrow, and was just about to ask Emil if he was alright and how much he’d had to drink when he doubled over and threw up all over the street and Tino’ shoes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)))))) It's 2am but I had to finish this chapter. Sorry if it's messy, I don't think I've ever written this much dialogue in my life lol
> 
> Thanks for reading as always, I love you guys. <3
> 
> -lumassen x


	20. Chapter 20 - Love, Labels and Little White Lies

**Chapter 20 - Love, Labels and Little White Lies**

It was the smell of breakfast drifting through the apartment that roused Emil from his sleep. He cracked his eyes open to stare at the wall, and it took him a couple of seconds to remember why his head was pounding and realise that he’d slept with his work trousers still on before he pulled the covers over his head and groaned. He screwed his eyes shut and pressed his face into his hands. Emil stayed there for a little while, just thinking about how stupid he’d been.

Once he'd got to work yesterday he was already in a sour mood after arguing with Lukas and was starting to feel the pressure of the fact that his exams would be starting next week. When Caoimhe asked him what was wrong, he took the opportunity to vent about how Lukas still would treat him like a child. She invited him to come with her for a drink after work and in the moment it seemed like a great idea and he was inwardly thrilled at the invitation, finally feeling like he could fit in. He just hadn't expected Lukas to worry so much and hoped that he would just realise that he was growing up. But of course it didn't turn out that way, and Emil had ruined both Lukas and Tino's Saturday nights. Not to mention the fact that he'd forgotten all about his plans with Leon.

Eventually Emil plucked up enough courage to stick his hand out from beneath the duvet to snatch his phone from the bedside table. Wincing as he pressed the home button and the screen lit up, he hurried to lower the brightness down as far as it would go as he looked over the notifications on his home screen.

_ 09:47am | 29 new notifications: _

_ Missed calls (15) _

_ SMS (7) _

_ Facebook (3) _

_ WhatsApp (4) _

Emil noticed that his battery was nearly dead, so he didn’t bother to look at the missed calls as he knew they would all be from Lukas and Tino. Skipping to the text messages, he opened the first couple from Tino asking where he was. Then, a message from Lukas apologising for arguing with him caused his heart to sink a little as he read over it, but when he dared to tap on the texts from Leon it plummeted even further.

_ SMS from Leon: Do I really mean that little to you now that you just forgot you had plans with me?? For weeks youve been distant with me at school and we hardly hang out anymore. You dont come watch me practice anymore and when we do hang out you dont wanna talk about much and get pissy when I talk about college. _

_ SMS from Leon: I thought youd be happy that I got into my college of choice and tbh I thought you would be coming with me but youve moved on and left me behind and Im sick of feeling like I need to tread on eggshells around you.  _

_ SMS from Leon: Dont bother talking to me at school cause clearly Im not good enough for you anymore. Fuck you. _

Throwing the covers off and sitting up in bed, Emil sighed heavily as he stared at Leon’s text messages and felt guilt literally weighing down on his shoulders as he sat slumped over the screen in his hand. At the time it seemed like a good idea to go out with Caoimhe and Isak, and for the first hour or so Emil found that he had enjoyed being out with them. He felt like a different person, more confident and less like he was under a microscope or on a pedestal, always at second best compared to Leon. But as the night continued and his phone hadn’t stopped buzzing in his pocket he knew that he’d made a mistake, and now the thought that he might have unintentionally cost himself his friendship with Leon, Emil was crushed.

Not knowing where to even begin with a reply to Leon’s texts, Emil chewed on the inside of his lips as he exited out of his text messages and instead opened Facebook. He had two messages and a new friend request; all from Caoimhe. Once he accepted the friend request he could see her messages.

_ Message from Caoimhe received 12:17am: Emil I’m sorry that you got in trouble. Your family seem like they got you on a leash or something and that wasn’t cool of your brother to send his friend to come and drag you home like wtf is his problem. Dont let them get to you and I’ll see you when youre next in work ok?  _

_ Message from Caoimhe received 12:19am: and if you wanna rant just fire away lol I know what having shitty older brothers is like. _

Closing his eyes to stop his tears, Emil leaned back so that his head was leaning against his bedroom wall, his brows furrowed and bottom lip trembling. He hadn’t meant to paint Lukas and Tino in such a bad light to Caoimhe, they didn’t deserve it, but he’d just been angry, and the fact that even his best friend didn’t want to speak to him anymore tore a hole in his heart. He sat still for a while in the silence of his bedroom. Eventually his phone ran out of battery as he felt it buzz once in his hand as it turned off but couldn’t bring himself to care as he let it slide onto the floor and land on the rug with a thump.

The muffled clatter of crockery could be heard from the kitchen as breakfast was being prepared, and as much as Emil wanted to hide in his room forever he knew that the longer he stayed holed up in there the more trouble he would probably be in. Dragging himself out of bed, Emil kicked off yesterday's trousers and boxers and slipped on his dressing gown, wrapping it tightly around himself and took a breath before he shuffled out from his room and into the hall. The bright morning light streaming in from outside was bright enough to make him squint and for his head to feel like it was splitting in two. 

“I just don’t know what to do, Tino. Things would be so much easier if Mum were alive. Can’t we just call your mother and get her to talk to him?”

Emil stopped in the hall just outside the kitchen door and listened as Lukas spoke, his tone of voice sounding weary. 

Tino laughed lightly as a cupboard door slammed closed. Emil knew that it must be Tino making breakfast as his movements were always much clumsier and more heavy handed than Lukas, “Trust me, an earful from Karoliina is the last thing that Em needs right now. He would be scarred for life if an angry Finnish woman scolded him down the phone.” Tino said, his voice travelling as he moved around the room as he continued speaking,

“I could talk to him if you like?” he offered, and Emil felt himself tense at the thought of receiving a lecture from Tino.

“No, it’s alright T, I’ll talk to him. I just feel like big brothers should be encouraging their little brothers to go out and have fun and break the rules, or at least not be the ones that have to try and scold them, y’know?” Lukas said with a small sigh, and Emil decided he’d heard enough.

He took another breath in as he stepped around the doorframe and into the kitchen to find Lukas sat at the table with a mug of coffee clasped between his fingers and his curly hair tangled and unkempt from his sleep. Tino was standing over the stove in just a pair of boxers, an apron and a pair of slippers, a couple of eggs spluttering in the frying pan in front of him. He watched as they quickly exchanged glances and an awkward silence hung around the kitchen as though they probably knew he’d heard them talking.

“I mean, you don’t  _ have _ to scold me. I already feel like shit enough as it is.” Emil said defensively, folding his arms across his chest, not quite sure what to expect from his brother and Tino but knew that he probably deserved whatever they were going to say.

“And so you should! We were worried sick, Emil what were you thinking-” Tino began, waving the spatula in his direction but stopped when Lukas shot him a look and shook his head,

“Don’t start, Tino.” he warned, then pulled out the chair beside him and patted the seat as Tino huffed and turned his attention back to the eggs,

“Emil, come sit down.” Lukas said, but Emil just leaned against the doorway and shrugged,

“I’d rather stand, thanks.” 

Emil watched as Tino glared at him from over his shoulder and Lukas dropped his head into his hands for a moment before dragging them over his face and looking back at him.

“Look, I’m not gonna scold you or shout at you or ground you, and I apologise if this is my fault for being busy with the store recently and not being around as much. If you want to be the rebellious teenager then I can’t stop you, but please just _ talk _ to me. I’m tryin’ my best-”

Emil sighed as he crossed the room and flopped down in the chair next to his brother, glancing at him as he sat fiddling with his hands beneath the table.

“Lukas I don’t want to be the ‘rebellious teen’,” Emil said, mimicking Lukas and wiggling his fingers dramatically in air quotations while he spoke, “I just want you to stop treating me like a kid!” 

Lukas looked puzzled, but before he could open his mouth to say anything else Emil carried on,

“You always fuss over me. Dinner is always made, my school uniform is always washed and ironed, you’re always driving me everywhere and buying me things. There’s never any time for  _ us  _ anymore between you runnin’ the shop and doing everything for us and me studying and working.” Emil rambled, the words falling from his mouth as Lukas just stared at him.

“I feel like I’ve lost you, Lukas. I’ve lost my brother and you’ve lost yourself too. Wouldn’t it benefit you to have more free time? You never  _ do _ anything besides be here for me and Tino and it just makes me  _ angry _ . I dunno how to explain it, but it's like I'm the reason that you're sad and now it's worse because I'm not going to college and I just-” Cutting himself off, Emil dropped his head into his arms and let his forehead rest on the table. 

“It doesn’t matter. Just ground me and take away my playstation for a week or something, I don’t care.” he mumbled from beneath his arms as he folded them over his head. 

There was a small silence until Emil heard Lukas swallow thickly beside him, "I'm not sad, and you don't make me sad either. Where have you got that idea from?” he pressed, his voice quiet, but Emil just shook his head.

Tino had joined them at the table now, and the only sound that filled the room was the gentle sound of his cutlery against his plate as he ate quietly.

“He does have a point y’know, Lukas.” he said eventually between mouthfuls, breaking the silence, and Emil’s head snapped up and he narrowed his eyes at him,

“I thought you were mad at me. Why are you agreeing with me?” he snapped, and Tino shrugged,

“I  _ am _ mad at you, but I also agree with what you’ve just said. It doesn’t excuse your actions, but you’re right.”

Emil blinked at Tino incredulously, waiting for him to finish his next mouthful of food so that he could elaborate more. Stealing a quick glance at Lukas, Emil could see that he looked like a deer caught in headlights, not quite sure what to do with himself as he picked up his coffee mug and looked into the bottom of it, swilling the last dregs around at the bottom just for something to occupy his attention with.

“What I mean is that maybe it wouldn’t hurt if you let Emil face his own consequences more.” Tino continued honestly, and although Emil was glad that Tino saw where he was coming from he didn’t really like it being said aloud or explained to Lukas in such a literal way.

“You’ve done an incredible job in bringing him up, Lukas, I’m not saying that you haven’t, but I think it’s time that you start letting him fuck up.”

Lukas was quiet for a moment before he broke out into laughter as though he couldn’t believe what he was hearing,

“So what you’re saying is that if I take a step back and let Emil forget to wash his school uniform or miss the bus or take a just a bag of licorice for lunch then he’ll feel less of a need to rebel?”

Emil rolled his eyes and Tino just nodded at Lukas with a smile.

“I don’t  _ rebel,  _ but I don’t know how else to explain it to you besides how Tino just did. I’m sorry about last night and for makin’ you worry, I didn’t want that, but I was just doing what other 17 year olds do- hey, don’t laugh at me!” Emil cried and stood up from the table, nearly knocking the chair over, and watched as Tino didn’t even try to hide his amusement.

“What your little brother is trying to say Lukas, is that he was hoping for a smooch from a certain red-headed girl that he was with-”

“I was  _ not _ !” Emil stamped his foot angrily as he felt a burning blush spread across his face,

“Well if you two aren’t gonna ground me and send me to my room then I’ll just do it myself! I’ll be dying of embarrassment if you need me. I would have rather you just shouted at me and told me how irresponsible I was than having to suffer through this shit!” 

Turning on his heel, Emil snatched a piece of dry toast and the glass of orange juice that Lukas had poured for him like he did every morning before changing his mind and slammed it back down onto the table. Lukas babyed him without realising, and it would be a long road toward getting him to stop, but Emil was determined to make a start to putting an end to it today, starting with the orange juice. 

Stalking back to his room, Emil slammed the door closed and leant against the back of it as he exhaled, feeling himself deflate against it. Was last night a rebellion? Was it a cry for attention? Or did he genuinely just want to become closer to Caoimhe? Emil balled his fists in his hair while he stared at his phone as it lay before him on the rug, thinking about the texts he’d received from Leon and the message from Caoimhe and now wasn’t quite sure _ why _ he’d gone to the club with them.

He’d just stepped away from the door to pick up his phone and plug it in to charge when there was a soft rapping of knuckles on it.

“Emil, it’s me. Can I come in?” Lukas’s soft voice drifted through the door, but before Emil could even answer him the door cracked open and Lukas peered into the room. 

“Why ask if you can come in if you’re just gonna do it anyway?” Emil said, but then bit his tongue to refrain from saying anything else when he caught the unsure expression on Lukas’s face. He stepped forward and pulled the door open wider, nodding with his head towards the bed then followed his brother to it and sat beside him.

“I don’t mean to treat you like a kid. If I’d known that I would end up pushing you away by cooking you dinner every night then I would have saved myself the trouble years ago.” he said with a strained smile, letting his eyes wander around the room. 

Flopping back so that he was lying on the bed, Emil waved his hands in exasperation,

“You haven’t pushed me away just by cooking my dinner, Lukas, don’t be ridiculous. You know what I mean.” 

Placing his hands behind his head, Emil propped himself up a little so that he could see Lukas as he continued looking around his room and watched him until he sighed softly and laid back on the bed in the same way that he had done. 

“I know. I guess I just didn’t want to admit that you’ve grown up and you don't need me anymore.” his voice was little more than a whisper. 

Then, when Lukas turned to look at Emil, his eyes tired and innocent and a little sad, Emil suddenly caught a glimpse of the brother that would sit and tell him stories about faeries and trolls and magical creatures until he fell asleep. The brother that would hold him tightly until he stopped crying when he worked out that his mother was never coming back, the brother that would sneak him an extra helping of cake and ice cream and share it with him once their Dad had gone to bed, giggling under their blanket fort. The brother who’d been there all along.

“I might have grown up, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need you anymore,” Emil said, swallowing the lump in his throat, “if anything it means that I need you more than ever. But I need my best friend, not a parental figure. I need my big brother.”

He finished with a grin, elbowing Lukas playfully in the side as a goofy smile spread across his face.

“Okay, little brother. I can do that." He whispered, his eyes searching Emils’ as the pair just regarded each other for a moment before he spoke again, "But Tino still isn’t finished with you yet. He's not your brother or your guardian, he's just Tino so there's no worming your way out of this lecture about last night. Someone has to scold you after all; and I’ll even leave the safe sex talk to him.”

Lukas teased as he propped himself up on the bed on his elbows and smirked, patting Emil gently on the knee, causing to grab a pillow from beside him and throw it at him.

“I’m never being nice to you again! Get out!” Emil cried as he shoved Lukas from the bed and plugged his phone in to charge. 

Lukas reached for the door handle and opened it a crack before stopping and turning around again to look at Emil over his shoulder,

“Oh, and I’ve been thinking. If you wanna go to that concert with Leon then I’ll be happy to drive you there and pick you up. That’s what big brothers do, right?” he said with a smile, and as happy as Emil was with the offer and the fact that Lukas was clearly trying he couldn’t help but let his face fall. He whet his lips, debating telling Lukas about Leon’s text messages but decided against it, hoping that they would be friends again by the time the concert rolled around anyway. 

Instead he forced a smile and swept his hair from his face, “Thanks, Lu.” 

  
  


\------------

“Hold my hand Peter while we cross the street.” Berwald said, squeezing Peter’s hand gently as he wrapped his little fingers around his own. After the events of last night, Berwald and Peter had got off to a sleepy start to their Sunday and decided to go out for breakfast.

Berwald had taken Peter to a waffle and pancake house that wasn’t far from their house and had enjoyed having the morning off and eating breakfast that someone else had cooked. Even if it was just only a stack of slightly tasteless pancakes swimming in way too much syrup. Remnants of breakfast were still sticky on his son’s hands as he skipped along beside him.

It was a bright morning and there was hardly a cloud in the sky, and so Berwald and Peter sauntered hand in hand through the high street on their way home, browsing the shop windows. They’d just finished browsing the toy shop window and Berwald made mental notes at the toys that Peter had admired for his upcoming birthday when Peter gasped dramatically and ran to the next shop along and pointed excitedly in the window.

“Oh my gosh, Dad look at this! It’s so  _ ugly _ , your best friend would  _ love _ it!” he exclaimed, causing Berwald to stop beside him and peer into the window. He was pointing at a white button up shirt with bold, bright abstract looking flowers printed largely across it.

“Who are ya talking about?” he asked his son, looking between him and the shirt,

“Tino of course! He is your best friend, right? Like Zoey is my best friend? Can grown ups have best friends?”

Peter tore his eyes away from the window and looked up at Berwald, and he couldn’t help but smile.

“Mm, grown up’s can have best friends, Peter.” Berwald said, ruffling Peter’s hair.

Though Berwald wasn’t afraid to eventually explain to Peter that he and Tino were a little more than best friends, he  _ was _ afraid of how it might have an impact on him. Both other kids as well as their parents could find any excuse to bully one another, and although Berwald was finally becoming comfortable and confident with his sexuality, he found that he feared how it might affect Peter in growing up to be the son of not only a single parent, but one who had got divorced after coming to terms with the fact that he was gay. He'd heard many a tale of kids getting teased by second hand homophobia, and even though the world was getting better there were still the militant parents that Berwald knew of all too well that would fill Peters head with the idea that his Dad being a gay man was a bad thing. 

“Can we get it as a surprise?” Peter asked, tugging at Berwalds trouser leg and removing him from his thoughts.

Berwald glanced up at the name of the store,  _ Marimekko _ , then back at Peter, “What, buy this for Tino?” he said, and watched as Peter’s face lit up and he nodded enthusiastically. 

“You really think he would like it?” Berwald let himself really look at the shirt. It was definitely Tino’s style, and he almost felt a little proud that Peter had paid enough attention to Tino to point out something that he would like. 

“Yep! Can we get it Dad, please?” Peter clasped his little hands in front of him, looking up at his Dad with an expression too sweet to refuse.

Berwald hesitated for a moment before pulling his phone from his coat pocket and scrolling through his text messages to find his conversation with Tino.

_SMS to Tino V:_ _What size shirt do you wear?_

Fingers hovering over the backspace button, Berwald racked his brains to try and think of a less blunt way to ask the question, but couldn’t think of any so just hit send before he could dwell on it for much longer. Then, he took hold of Peter’s hand once more and let him pull him into the shop.

\------------

_ SMS from Ber: What size shirt do you wear? _

Tino stood in the middle of the living room, staring at his phone and the random text from Berwald. In a moment of sheer self-consciousness, Tino opened the text bar and typed out a reply,

_ SMS to Ber: 40 or L. Why do you ask? x _

It had been a couple years since he’d been a size 40, and these days Tino was a solid 42 or XL but a little white lie couldn’t hurt when it came to something so trivial. He glanced up from his phone screen, taking his eyes away from the typing bubble as Berwald was replying to look at Lukas as he gently closed Emil’s bedroom door.

_ SMS from Ber: No reason. Wanna stay over tonight, make up for last night? Could pick you up later then take you to work tomorrow if you dont mind going in a bit early. x _

Feeling a grin break across his face, Tino looked up again when Lukas stopped in front of him,

“Whatcha smiling at?” Lukas asked, raising an eyebrow and peering at Tino’s phone in his hand.

Tino bit his lip, unable to stop himself from feeling bad at the thought of leaving Lukas yet he could already feel his heart beating a little faster in his chest at the thought of seeing Berwald.

“Well, I know I usually only stay out on Friday and Saturday nights, but Ber has asked if I want to go round to his tonight… you don’t mind, do you?” he asked hesitantly, waving his phone at Lukas as if to gesture to their text conversation. 

Lukas shook his head and smiled softly,

“Of course I don’t mind, Tino, and please don’t feel that you only have to stay there at weekends because you have to be here for me. I’m fine.” he said as he tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear, and Tino beamed,

“Thanks Lukas.” 

He dropped his head back down to look back at his phone, quickly typing out a reply to Berwald that he’d be ready in an hour or so before locking it and tossing it down on the couch. 

“So did you talk to Emil?” he pressed, following Lukas into his bedroom. The pair of them opened their respective wardrobes and Lukas took a moment to gather a clean t-shirt and pair of slacks before responding, his voice muffled by his sleep shirt as he pulled it off over his head,

“Yeah, but I wasn’t too harsh. I can tell he’s sorry, and I think Leon’s mad with him.”

Tino found himself staring at Lukas as he got dressed, slightly envious of his slender frame and lean torso that was soon hidden beneath his clothing. Averting his gaze when Lukas looked over at him as he sat down on the edge of the bed to put his socks on, Tino drew his attention back to getting himself dressed, pulling out a loud, zig zag patterned jumper and dark jeans. 

“You’re too soft. You shoulda let me talk to him.” he said, though he was glad that Lukas seemed to be taking Emil’s rebellion better than he thought he might. 

“Well, you helped more than you think. I know I can be a little overbearing sometimes, I just didn’t know what to do about it, so thank you.” Lukas turned to look at him, an earnest smile on his face and Tino smiled back.

\----------

A little over an hour later, Berwald had arrived to pick Tino up and he’d left Lukas and Emil playing The Legend of Zelda together in the living room. Peter had chattered away the whole car ride back to Berwald’s house, and Tino found himself falling quickly for the comfortable feeling of domesticity that he felt when he was with them both as he rested his hand over Berwald’s on the gearstick between them.

“Oh by the way, Lukas asked me to thank you for last night, Ber.” Tino said as he pulled two bags of food from the boot of the car and helped Berwald carry the grocery shopping that he'd stopped off for before picking him up into the house. He stepped carefully up the front steps behind Peter and once inside the hall he kicked the door closed gently with his foot.

“Don’t mention it. I was happy to help, an’ I’m glad Emil is okay.” Berwald raised his voice and it carried through the hall from where he was putting the bags of shopping down on the kitchen island.

“Dad, Dad! Can I get it now? Can I give it to him?”

Tino watched Peter swinging from Berwald’s leg as he walked with difficulty to and from the refrigerator to put the food away,

“Yes Peter. It’s in the bag on my bed.”

Once Peter had shrieked with glee and taken off upstairs, Tino stole a quick, chaste kiss from Berwald,

“What’s he so excited about?” he said, gesturing over his shoulder with his thumb in the direction that Peter had gone in.

Berwald smiled a little shyly and glanced at Tino out of the corner of his eye as Peter thundered back down the stairs again and appeared in the kitchen doorway with something behind his back, a pleased grin on his little face that was so wide Tino could see that his wobbly tooth that had been loose a couple of days ago had finally fallen out. 

“We got you a gift, Tino! Close your eyes and hold out your hands!” Peter announced, and Tino looked to Berwald who simply nodded, the smile remaining on his lips.

Tino crouched down to Peter’s height and screwed his eyes shut and held out his hands, closing his fingers around a crinkly plastic bag that Peter placed gently into his upturned palms. He felt the bag for a moment and stood up,

“Can I open my eyes now?” he asked, cracking one open to glance at Berwald,

“Yep!” Peter said, bouncing up and down beside Berwald in anticipation.

Sticking his hand into the bag, Tino felt soft cotton against his fingertips as he pulled out a bright patterned shirt and recognised the print immediately,

“Oh, Berwald! Peter! You shouldn’t have? Is this really for me?” Tino said as he set the plastic bag down on the kitchen table just behind him and opened out the shirt to admire it.

“...Do ya like it?” Berwald spoke up, fiddling a little anxiously with the hem of his own shirt, and Tino lowered his gift to look at him.

“I  _ love _ it. Did you know Marimekko was a Finnish brand? It’s not a cheap either, Ber!” 

Tino draped the shirt carefully over the back of one of the dining chairs and scooped Peter up as he stepped toward him, holding him against his hip and looking into his happy face,

“I picked it out for you, Tino! I knew you would like it.” Peter said as he wrapped his arm around the back of Tino’s neck and squashed their cheeks together in a makeshift hug. 

“Thank you Peter, I really love it. And thank you too, Ber.” 

Setting Peter back down again, Tino picked the shirt up and folded it neatly and put it back into the bag. As happy as he was with his gift, he couldn’t help but feel like an idiot and had caught sight of the size on the label of the shirt pretty much as soon as he’d first pulled it out. 

“I’ll try it on later.” he said casually as he hung the back off the back of the chair, smiling warmly at Berwald but couldn’t help but notice how his face had fallen a little.

“Are you sure you like it? You can tell me if you don’t...” Berwald asked, nodding toward the bag then looking back at Tino, and Tino knew that both Berwald and Peter probably expected him to try it on. Sighing inwardly, he picked the bag back up and crossed the kitchen to the doorway,

“I’ll take my bag upstairs and try it on, okay? I’ll be right back!” he said cheerfully as he took himself upstairs, leaving Berwald and Peter in the kitchen as he hauled his overnight bag over his shoulder. Gently pushing open the door to Berwald’s room, Tino slung his bag down onto the bed and looked around the now familiar room as he pulled his jumper off over his head, tossing it on top of his bag with a huff.

He wasn’t even sure why he was bothering to try the shirt on, he knew that it was a size too small because he was stupid enough to lie about his clothing size, but nonetheless he took it from the bag and unbuttoned it and cursed at himself under his breath as he slid his arms into the arm holes and adjusted the collar at the back of his neck. The shirt fit well around the shoulders and neck, and at first Tino was pleasantly surprised until he came to the buttons. Even if he sucked his stomach in they still would barely be able to meet in the middle, let alone close. 

Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror on the front of Berwalds wardrobe, Tino glared at himself then jumped and spun around on the spot when he caught sight of Berwald standing behind him in the doorway, his brows knitted.

“Jesus, Berwald, you made me jump. I didn’t hear you come up the stairs.” he said, taking his hand away from where he’d held it over his heart when Berwald had startled him.

“It doesn’t fit, Ber. I’m sorry.” Tino muttered, sliding himself out of the shirt and turning his back on Berwald to fold it back up and put it into the bed.

“Oh, did I get the wrong size?” Berwald sounded puzzled as he fished around in his back pocket for a moment before producing the receipt. He adjusted his glasses as he peered down at it and Tino shook his head,

“No, it’s my fault. I lied about my shirt size like a pathetic idiot.” he admitted, snatching his sweater up and angrily putting it back on.

“Oh.” Berwald said again, and Tino busied himself with unzipping his bag and taking out his toothbrush.

“Well, I can take it back and get the next size if you’re sure ya like it?” he suggested, and Tino spun around on the spot, feeling utterly embarrassed.

“No no! It’s okay, don’t go to that trouble for me. Besides, it’ll be good motivation for me to fit into it.”

Tino forced a smile as he brushed his hair out of his eyes and watched as Berwald crossed the room to stand in front of him.

“But ya don’t need to. I love you just as you are,” Berwald said with a smile, but then Tino watched as his face fell and turned bright red when he realised what he'd just said. Even Tino felt his own heart skip a beat and the pair of them just stared at each other for a few painfully awkward seconds,

“I-I didn’t mean that. Well, I did, I think you’re wonderful and kind and handsome and I-” Berwald began to scramble to say something, words falling from his mouth but he stopped himself before he could finish.

The air in the room suddenly felt thick, and as much as Tino liked Berwald he definitely wasn’t ready for the big L word to show up so soon. Taken aback, Tino just stood in front of Berwald and didn’t say anything, his mouth slightly agape. 

Berwald’s face returned to it’s usual stoic expression as though he were waiting for Tino to say something and was disappointed when he didn’t but was trying not to show it as he put the receipt down gently on top of the shirt on the bed and left the room, leaving Tino staring at the back of Berwald’s head as he took himself downstairs, his heart hammering in his chest.

Once Berwald was out of sight, Tino turned to look at himself in the mirror once more. "He loves me." he whispered to himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well at 5800 words this is the longest chapter yet, shame I hate it lol :')
> 
> Can I just take a minute though to say _thank you_ to everyone who's reading this right now. Y'all make my entire day every single day just by clicking on this fic. The amount of people that tell me they read my fics or that they like this story or draw art based on my writing is absolutely insane and I genuinely could never imagine receiving such a positive response to my writing. Like, it;s truly mindblowing. Even you guys that are silent readers and don't interact with me yet still come back every chapter to read this story as it continues, I love you just as much and I see you in the hit count.
> 
> This story has over _1000 hits._ w h a t ???
> 
> Anyway, it'll stop gushing now, but I just wanted to express how much I appreciate you all.
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you all next chapter <3
> 
> -lumassen xx


	21. Chapter 21 - Mondays, huh?

**Chapter 21 - Mondays, huh?**

Tino lay with his eyes closed yet he couldn’t fall asleep. Berwald was snoring softly beside him, but the sound was comforting more than irritating. The evening had been pleasant, wonderful even, and although Tino enjoyed spending time with Berwald and Peter he hadn’t been able to stop his mind from racing since their talk in the bedroom before dinner. 

Cracking his eyes open, Tino looked at their clothes that littered the floor and felt a shiver run up his spine at the memory of when they'd gone to bed how Berwald had run his hands over him, up his thighs and over his chest and looked at him with eyes so full of… that word. 

Love. 

Exhaling sharply through his nose, Tino turned over so that he was looking at the ceiling and pulled the duvet up to his chin, chewing at the inside of his cheek in thought. Did he love Berwald? He thought that he’d loved Marcus and the other people that he’d dated, but the way he felt about Berwald was incomparable. Their relationship was so much more, and this time hadn’t started as a one night stand in which Tino had been a re-bound. He felt safe, happy, and desirable. But even despite this, there was something that still made Tino feel unsure, a niggle at the back of his mind that he couldn’t put his finger on-

“Dad?”

His thoughts were interrupted by a timid voice coming from the hall. Peering over the duvet and squinting in the dark, Tino looked at Peter stood in the doorway, one hand clutching his plush giraffe, the other by his mouth as he sucked the tip of his thumb. Digging his toes into Berwald’s calf under the covers, Tino tried to wake him without revealing to Peter that he was awake, but Berwald just grunted and snatched his leg away still in a deep sleep.

“Daddy... I can’t get back to sleep.” Peter spoke again, his voice trembling as he hovered in the doorway.

Tino knew that he’d feel bad if he disturbed Berwald, especially as he was already awake, so he sighed softly and sat up.

“What’s wrong Peter?” he said, then watched as Peter crept across the room to stand beside the bed. His eyes were red and his cheeks wet with tears. 

He snivelled as he scrubbed at his eyes with the sleeve of his pyjamas, “I h-had a nightmare. The wolf came to get me.”

Rolling onto his side again so that he was facing Peter, Tino looked at him and smiled softly.

“You know that nightmares can’t hurt you, right? They’re just bad dreams.” he said, though he couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for Peter as he hugged the giraffe close to his chest.

“Dad lets me sleep with him when I’ve had a nightmare...” he mumbled, and Tino felt his face turning red as he remembered that both he and Berwald were naked under the covers. He searched Peter’s face for a moment as fresh tears threatened to fall until he sighed again.

“Uh, well, your Dad’s asleep. But look, why don’t you go and get back into your bed and I’ll come and sleep in your room with you? We’ll show the wolf that we’re not scared.” 

Peter eventually smiled between snivels and nodded his little head. It took a minute for him to leave the bedroom and he hovered in the doorway for a moment before crossing the hall back to his bedroom. As soon as he was out of sight Tino leapt out of bed, cursing under his breath as the cold air sent goosebumps over his skin as he picked his boxers up off the floor and pulled them on. Then he stole a glance at Berwald still sleeping and buried within the covers before leaving the door slightly ajar behind him and headed into Peter’s room. 

Tino had only been in Peter's room once before and that was only to put a pile of clean clothes that he’d helped Berwald fold one evening on top of Peter's dresser. A night light glowed softly by his bed and cast blue shadows around the room, and as Tino looked around the room he found Peter sitting on the bed on top of the covers with his knees hugged to his chest as though he were afraid to let them dangle over the edge.

Picking his way through the toys strewn across the floor, Tino started to kneel down beside the bed and Peter leapt forward and clutched at his shoulders,

“No, don’t! It’ll get you!” he cried.

Tino at first just wanted to hurry and go back to sleep and explain to Peter that he had nothing to be scared of, there was nothing under the bed and that his fears were just irrational. But seeing how Peter looked genuinely frightened caused him to soften his expression and remember how much the big oak tree that grew outside his bedroom would scare him when the branches would tap on the window in winter like spindly fingers . He placed his hand over Peters as it rested on his shoulder and looked at him.

“This is your house, Peter, and we have to tell this wolf that he’s not welcome here. I’ll protect you, don’t worry.”

Tino took in a deep breath then crouched down to peer underneath the bed. 

“Mr Wolf! You need to leave! We aren’t scared of you, now run off into the forest and never come back!” he shouted at the football and various forgotten pieces of lego that were in the darkness then waited for a little while before sitting up again. He pushed his hair out of his eyes and tucked it behind his ears with a smile.

“There, that’s him told.”

Tino’s bare knees were red from kneeling on the carpet and he rubbed at them as he stood up, glad to see that Peter had stopped crying. 

“Weren’t you scared? You’re so brave.” he mumbled as Tino sat down on the bed beside him, the flimsy childrens mattress creaking beneath his weight. Pulling the covers back, Tino motioned for Peter to settle beneath them. The tiny single duvet wasn’t big enough for the two of them, and so Tino squashed himself against the wall and hugged just enough of the edge of the cover to keep the chill off and let Peter have the rest. Fluffing the pillow up beside his head, Tino tucked Peter in tightly before lying his own head down and shifting until he was comfy.

“When I was little we would go to my Mummo’s cottage far up north to visit her. We were close to the forest, so I would sometimes hear the wolves cry at night. I even saw a bear, once.” he said, keeping his voice low.

Tino could see that Peter was interested, yet his eyes were growing heavy with sleep. Wrapping his arm over him, Tino brushed his fingers softly through his hair.

“That’s a funny word. Mummo. Can you tell me a story?” Peter said with a sleepy smile, and Tino smiled back.

“It means grandma, and I will, but only if you close your eyes.”

Peter did as he was told and Tino was surprised when he turned to snuggle against his chest and wrapped his little arms as far as they could reach around his stomach. It took him a moment for him to get used to the feeling of his breathing tickling against his skin, but eventually Tino relaxed and he too closed his eyes. He began to tell the tale about a winter he’d spent at the cottage, going into detail about the snow and the magic of the green northern lights that danced in the sky until, just like his Dad, Peter’s breathing grew deeper and he began to softly snore.

  
  


\--------

  
  


The next morning Tino had woken with a start as Berwald shook him and explained that they’d overslept. It was a mad rush to get Peter and ready for preschool and themselves dressed for work. Tino made up Peter’s lunch box and prepared toast and jam while Berwald got him dressed and brushed his hair before whisking him into the car. Once they were on their way they could finally stop and breathe as Berwald joined the morning traffic, getting crumbs all over the car as the three of them ate their toast. 

“Dad, didja know that Tino fought a bear?” Peter said from the back seat, and Tino had to stop himself from nearly choking on his toast as he stifled a laugh.

“I didn’t fight a bear, Peter, I just said that I saw one.” he said as he turned round in the front seat to look at Peter and roll his eyes. 

“Well I dreamed that you fought a bear to save me!” 

Tino glanced at Berwald to find a tiny smile on his lips. While they were stopped in the traffic, Tino reached over to place his hand over Berwalds where it was resting on the gear stick, but instead of turning his palm up to lace their fingers together like he normally would, Berwald just took his hand away and kept his eyes on the road. 

“Don’t make up stories, Peter. It’s nice that you dreamt that, but it didn’t really happen.” Berwald chided, and Peter fell silent. Suddenly there was tension in the car, and Tino wound the window down a little to let some air in as the traffic started to move again. They drove in silence all the way to Peter’s preschool, and Tino found himself wanting to put the radio on or  _ something  _ just to ease the awkwardness, but it wasn’t long before they pulled up to the automatic gates at the front of the school. It was a couple minutes past 9am and so they were closed. Berwald sighed heavily and drove the car up towards the gate then took his seatbelt off and got out, not bothering to close the door behind him. He then walked around the car and came to stand by the passenger side to ring the buzzer through to reception and Tino stared at him incredulously as he stood with his arms folded and tapped his foot impatiently.

“Ber, I could’ve done that. I would have just had to lean out of the window...” he said, and Berwald just shook his head,

“They woulda just asked who you were. The school is strict about knowing adults' relationships with the pupils.”

Tino was about to answer back when the speaker crackled to life and instead he just listened to Berwald explain and apologise to the receptionist that they were late and he was just dropping Peter off. True to Berwald’s word though, it was more of an interrogation than a chat as she asked for his full name as well as Peter’s before she would agree to open the gate. 

Getting back into the car and slamming the door closed, Berwald continued down the drive to the school once the gate swung open. Then he got out again and unbuckled Peter from the back seat, asking Tino to wait in the car while he took Peter inside to his class. It wasn’t as though Tino could refuse and just silently nodded in agreement. Once Berwald and Peter had disappeared inside, Tino took out his phone when it buzzed in his pocket.

_ SMS from Christina: Where are you?? Have you seen the article? Are you ok? The office is crazy  _

Puzzled, Tino stared at the message for a moment wondering what article she was talking about. He re-read it again before typing out a reply.

_ SMS to Christina: I’m running late sorry. Stayed at Ber’s and slept in. Be there soon. What article? x _

He could see that she was typing out a reply, but Berwald came back to the car and so Tino locked his phone and put it away again. Berwald started the car and backed out of the car park without a word. Once they were back on the main road on the way to the office Tino decided that he couldn’t take his strange attitude any longer.

“Ber, what’s wrong with you this morning? I know it’s been a bit hectic cause we woke up late, but you’re acting weird.” he said, turning a little in his seat so that he was facing him.

“Whaddya mean? I’m fine, Tino.” Berwald took his eyes off the road for a second to look at Tino, but Tino just folded his arms, not buying it.

“You were short with Peter about his dream, and you were short with me about pressing the buzzer for you. Surely I could have let you talk across me or explained that I was your boyfriend-”

“No, I-” Berwald interrupted, his voice coming out strangled and he didn’t finish his sentence. 

Tino raised a blond eyebrow at him before narrowing his eyes,

“Ber, does this have anything to do with what you said to me last night? Or the fact that you won’t kiss me in front of Peter, or even hold my hand?” he said in realisation, thinking about how not even half an hour ago Berwald had moved his hand away from him when he tried to hold it. He watched as Berwald pursed his lips and gripped the steering wheel then sighed softly.

“If you’re worried about how Peter might react to… y’know,  _ us _ , then I don’t think you’re giving the kid enough credit. He’d understand.” Tino pressed, though made sure to choose his words carefully. He knew that Berwald still struggled with feelings of guilt over Alice, and as far as he was aware he hadn’t dated like this since Alice. Of course it was going to be hard to explain to Peter, but Tino would be happy to sit down and do it with Berwald if it made him feel any better.

Eventually Berwald sighed and met Tino’s gaze. “It’s not that. I just worry ‘bout-” he began but then his words trailed off as he looked back at the road, distracted by something.

“Worry about what?” Tino asked, but then his own eyes widened as he followed Berwald’s gaze and noticed a huge huddle of reporters and people with cameras on the street outside the Bonnefoy offices.

“Woah.. what’s going on?” he wondered aloud and craned his neck to look at them all as Berwald turned into the car park. 

Once Berwald pulled into the parking space and turned the engine off, loud chatter could be heard from the group of people at the front of the building. Berwald and Tino exchanged glances, their sour moods forgotten for the moment, as they got out of the car.

“Wonder if there’s a big shoot today. Surely we would’ve known though…” Berwald said as they crunched across the gravel of the car park together. As they walked around the corner and onto the street, Tino was about to ask them to let him pass to get into the offices when one of the reporters pointed to him and he froze.

“There!” they shouted, and all of a sudden the entire group of people surged toward him, camera’s were flashing and they were all shouting over each other to ask questions. So many of them were talking at once that Tino didn’t have a clue what they were saying and instead just stood on the street, stunned.

Berwald took hold of his hand and Tino spun around on the spot, “This way,” he muttered under his breath and began to pull Tino away in the direction of the car park. They sidled quickly along the side of the building towards a green metal door at the other end of the car park. Hearing the reporters still following them, Berwald and Tino broke into a run, then once they reached the door Berwald swiped his ID card against the fob and threw the door open. The door led to an old lift shaft and store room piled high with props, lighting equipment and mannequins, and when they were both inside Berwald slammed the door closed.

“What was  _ that  _ about?” Tino said, laughing breathlessly. 

They both leaned against the door to catch their breath, and Tino was glad to see a smile on Berwald’s face, even if it was one of disbelief as he shook his head.

“Dunno, but we’ll probably find out.” 

*

The elevator doors opened and Tino saw what Christina had meant in her text message, the office seemed a lot busier than usual. Tino and Berwald had barely stepped out of the elevator when Matthew came running up to them.

“Tino! There you are!” he had an apologetic look about him as he glanced between Tino and Berwald,

“What’s going on, Matt? Who are all those people outside?” Tino said quickly, now feeling his pulse quicken at the thought that something terrible had happened. 

“Is everyone okay? Has someone died?” he pressed, but then a sigh of relief escaped him when Matthew hurried to tell him that it wasn’t anything as bad as that.

“But I do think that you should come with me, Francis and Arthur have called a meeting.” he said, nervously adjusting his glasses. 

Tino turned to Berwald. “I’ll come find you at lunch?” he said, then smiled as Berwald nodded and hurried off to his workshop. 

Matthew set off in the direction of Arthur’s office, and Tino quickened his pace to match his strides. Michelle was busy on the phones and Christina was nowhere to be seen as Tino craned his neck to look around the offices. Through the glass walls as he approached, Tino could see Francis and Arthur talking animatedly with each other as Arthur waved a tablet screen around. They stopped talking once they noticed Tino and Matthew approaching, and both of them stood to greet them as they entered the room.

“Ah, Tino. Do sit down.” Arthur said calmly as he pulled up a chair. The atmosphere in the room was strange, and Tino couldn’t help but be reminded of the meeting that he’d been part of, that seemed like such a long time ago now, after the Natalia shoot disaster. Luckily this time, he and Francis were on good terms, or so he hoped.

“Now, in a few days this will all blow over, so we’ll contain it the best we can, but I wanted you to know that we’re working hard to get this rumour dispelled.” Arthur paced the room as Tino sat down gingerly, his eyes glued to the tablet screen in front of him. After a couple more paces, he stopped and tore his attention away from the screen and handed it to Tino, who’s eyes nearly popped out of his head.

It was a photo of himself and Arthur outside of the club, Emil just out of shot, on a media gossip page on instagram.

“ _ Kirkland Scandal! ICON Editor in chief caught meeting with a mystery blonde despite speculatiated relationship with designer Emily Jones.” _

Tino stared at the photo that had caught them both at such an awful angle, and read over the title a couple of times as well as the first few lines of the article before he looked between Arthur and Francis in disbelief.

“Well firstly, I like being described as a mystery blonde, sounds kinda sexy,” he said with a laugh, but then his face immediately fell when no one else in the room laughed. Tino cleared his throat and continued,

“But is this why all those reporters were outside? Surely not just because of a silly rumour...”

Feeling weird being the only person in the room sat down, Tino stood and handed the tablet back to Arthur.

“It’s silly to us because we know that it’s not true, but unfortunately not everyone who reads these kinds of articles has many brain cells.” Arthur said in a huff as he set the tablet down behind him on the desk.

“We’re working to get the article removed because it’s looking like it might cost us Emily Jones as our featured designer for Fashion Week and we don’t have the time to find another designer as such short notice. Until it all blows over we’ll get a car to escort you to and from the office.” Francis said as he leant on the desk beside Arthur.

Tino laughed awkwardly again, unable to quite believe the conversation that they were having,

“What? I’ll be driven to and from work because of this? It’s not even true! Why would people believe that Mr Kirkland would date someone like me?”

Francis’s expression turned sympathetic as he pushed off the desk and moved to stand before Tino and placed a hand on his shoulder,

“Look, I’m sorry that you’ve gotten dragged into this, Tino. We just think that this might be the work of a rival publication and unfortunately you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Try not to leave the house for a few days and soon the media will have turned on someone else.”

Never in his life did Tino think that he would be involved in ‘scandal’, never mind be plastered all over social media in a paparazzi style photo, yet here he was standing between the two editors in chief of a global fashion magazine. Why were Monday’s always full of surprises at ICON?

He sighed and thought for a moment before reluctantly agreeing with a shrug.

“Sure, fine. Whatever.”

\---------

When Lukas knocked on the door he hadn’t expected to hear a dog bark from the other side. He took a couple of steps back as it sniffed at the letterbox and was just debating turning around, getting in the car and driving straight back home when the barking stopped and Matthias could be heard. His voice was muffled through the door as he talked to the dog. 

Before business picked up at the store, Lukas used to take every Monday as his day off. Unable to stop thinking about Matthias since Saturday night to the point where he was driving himself mad, he closed the store just after noon after finding out that Matthias had the day off. He felt his heart hammering in his chest as keys jangled in the lock on the other side of the door and his breath hitched into his throat when it opened and Matthias stood there, grinning widely.

“Hi, Lukas.” he greeted him warmly.

“Hello.” Lukas said, still standing awkwardly a little way down the path. 

Matthias stood aside in the doorway as though to invite Lukas into the house, and before he could change his mind Lukas stepped inside. The entranceway was narrow and a little cramped as he slipped past Matthias and took his shoes off. 

“Sorry about the barking. I wasn’t sure if you would mind dogs so I’ve put Penny in the spare room for now.” Matthias began as he closed the door behind him and fiddled with the stiff door handle, “I’ve made coffee if ya want a cup, and there stuff in the fridge if you wanna stay for some lunch. Thanks for comin’ over, I-”

As he turned around again to face Lukas again, Matthias’s rambling was silenced as Lukas stepped forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. It was quick and chaste, and for a moment the pair of them just stood and stared at each other for a moment until Matthias slid his hand around the back of Lukas’s neck and brought him in for another kiss. They’d spent too many weeks just talking, and now that Lukas had finally come to terms with his feelings he decided not to sit on them any longer.

The first couple of kisses were a little awkward as they got used to each other, teeth clicking and lips parting too sloppily until Lukas grew more confident and deepened the kiss, tangling his hand in Matthias’s hair. Then, he felt Matthias tense and he broke the kiss as his back hit the door,

“Lukas, are... you sure about this?” he muttered between breaths, and Lukas just nodded. 

He’d decided on Saturday that he was ready to escalate whatever relationship had been forming between them, and after Matthias’s obvious intention to stay over that night made him feel safe in the knowledge that his feelings were returned. Matthias stayed still and searched Lukas’s eyes for perhaps any trace of uncertainty or him changing his mind before a grin broke out across his face. 

Pushing off the door and taking hold of Lukas’s wrist gently, Matthias led him through the hallway and up the stairs, Lukas’s pulse quickening with each step he took up the staircase until they reached the top. Once more, Matthias turned to look at him, and Lukas could already smell Matthias’s cologne that had transferred onto his own clothes.

“You 100% sure?” he asked again as he took his grip from Lukas’s wrist and instead moved his hand to twine their fingers together.

“I like you, Matthias. It’s taken me a while to realise, and I’m sorry, but I do. I really like you.” Lukas said, punctuating his statement with one more lingering, soft kiss to Matthias’s lips. Clearly satisfied with the confirmation, Matthias tugged Lukas into the bedroom and closed the door behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I legit don't 100% know what's happening anymore with the plot of this fic lol but I just love writing it :')
> 
> Sorry the DenNor is a little short, but I was going to leave it out completely until next chapter but I thought I would just tease y'all instead.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thanks for reading!
> 
> -lumassen x


	22. Chapter 22 - A Catch 22

**Chapter 22 - A Catch 22**

Tino sat slumped in the back seat of the executive car that Francis had arranged to drive him home and stared out of the window. 

It seemed that every Monday at Icon brought a different drama, and somehow Tino was always involved one way or another. He sat with his arms folded across his chest, head tilted back against the headrest, and watched the city outside the window slowly turn into the suburbs. 

Matthew had covered his phone for the day when Arthur decided it best that Tino avoided taking calls as no doubt some of them would regard the article and so Tino had spent the day running around after Francis, answering emails, bringing refreshments to board meetings and just doing what assistants did. It had been a couple of months now since Tino had started at Icon, and the novelty and excitement of the job was beginning to wear off, especially with the addition of Ivan now tossed into the mix.

“If you’re following a sat-nav it’ll take you down a dead end street,” Tino spoke up when he noticed that he was nearing home. While glancing at the driver he turned his head slightly to meet his eye when he looked at him through the rear-view mirror. 

“So keep going straight instead, then when you see the kebab shop on the corner take a right.” 

The driver nodded in acknowledgement and Tino sighed softly, looking back out of the window again. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket as it started to ring for what was probably the 5th time since he’d got into the car, but he just let it ring out until eventually it stopped and went to voicemail.

By the time the car stopped outside the bookstore, Tino had never felt so glad to be home. He thanked the driver for the lift as he slid out of the back seat and closed the door gently behind him. The lights were on inside, but as Tino walked around the back to head upstairs to the apartment he noticed that Lukas’s car was gone from his parking space. Spinning his house keys around on his finger, Tino climbed the back stairs and unlocked the door, wiping his feet on the mat as he stepped inside.

“Hello? Emil are you home?” he called down the hall as he took his jacket and shoes off. 

“In the kitchen!” Emil answered back, his voice echoing a little through the apartment, and when Tino entered the kitchen and tossed his keys down onto the dining table beside the fruit bowl he found Emil standing over the stove peering into a pot. To Tino’s surprise he’d changed out of his school uniform and into a t-shirt and sweatpants, and his uniform was hung up beside the ironing board in the corner of the kitchen. 

“Where’s Lukas?” Tino asked as he crossed the kitchen to stand beside Emil and watched him as he stirred a pot of macaroni.

Emil looked up from the pot for a moment, brow raised,

“I thought he was with you. Are you gonna call the police now ‘cause you don’t know where he is?” he said a little bitterly, and Tino rolled his eyes. 

“Alright, maybe we shouldn’t have gone as far as calling the police looking back, but you must’ve known we’d worry about you?” 

Tino opened the freezer as he spoke and pulled out a frozen pizza and a tub of ice cream. As irritated as Tino was with the stupid rumour that had now surfaced as a result of Emil’s silly little rebellion, he couldn’t stay mad at him. He was just growing up and was bound to do more silly things as time went on so there was no use in stewing over them too much when he did. Emil stepped to the side and let Tino turn the oven on, and Tino couldn’t help but notice that the macaroni was starting to stick to the bottom of the pot as Emil hadn’t put enough hot water in to cover it while it was boiling. He put his pizza onto a tray and slid it into the oven before turning back to Emil.

“So what’re you cooking for dinner?” he asked casually, leaning against the counter. 

Emil shrugged, nodding toward the pile of grated cheese on the side.

“Macaroni cheese.” he said, then looked at Tino as though it should’ve been obvious.

Clearly Emil was trying to prove his point that he didn’t need Lukas or Tino to help him anymore, but Tino couldn’t just let Emil eat poorly cooked macaroni topped with shredded cheese for dinner. 

“Y’know, I find that when I make mac and cheese the water evaporates really quickly from the pot so I always have to top it up when it starts to boil.” Tino hinted as he walked over to the fridge again, “And I think we have just enough milk left for your cheese sauce. Let me grab it for you.”

Taking the carton of milk from the fridge, Tino set it down on the side next to the pile of cheese and watched Emil fidget a little on the spot out of the corner of his eye. Emil hesitated for a moment before taking the pot of macaroni from the stove and took it over to the sink and added some more water to it so that all of the macaroni shells were now covered. 

“So… uh, how much milk do you add then?” Emil asked the question as though he was just curious rather than asking because he didn’t realise that he’d have to make a cheese sauce and mac and cheese wasn’t literally just macaroni and grated cheese melted on top as he stirred the pot again.

“Eh, I don’t really have a recipe, but I can show you if you want?” Tino suggested, making a conscious effort to make sure he didn't sound like he was telling Emil what to do and instead just offering advice. After thinking about it for a moment Emil nodded as he put the wooden spoon down on the counter.

The pair of them chatted while Tino showed Emil how to make a basic cheese sauce, adding the ingredients to another pot on the stove and combining the milk, cheese, salt, pepper and a dash of paprika. Emil’s first exam was next week, a 3 hour english exam, and Tino could tell that Emil was nervous even though he was trying to sound confident. 

Once the macaroni was cooked through and the cheese sauce made, Tino let Emil drain the macaroni and add the sauce. The timer sounded on the oven a couple of minutes later, and Tino cut his pizza into slices and followed Emil through to the living room. He flopped down and raised a slice of pizza to his mouth and blew on it for a moment in a vain attempt to cool it before taking a bite, grimacing a little as the hot cheese burned the roof of his mouth.

“So how many subjects do you have to take exams for now? At my school when I was your age it was Maths, Biology, History, Geography and of course English,” Tino said between mouthfuls, “and I remember being so shit at English, I’m surprised I got into College for writing and journalism!” he finished with a laugh.

Emil took a forkful of his macaroni cheese, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth for a moment as he finished his mouthful before it fell away again.

“Yeah, we gotta do the same subjects plus social studies and computer tech.” he mumbled, casting his gaze down into his bowl of food. They continued to eat dinner quietly, both of them only half paying attention to the game show that was on the TV, and Tino felt his phone buzz yet again in his back pocket. He ignored it, angrily sitting back further onto the couch to smother the vibration between his butt and the couch cushions.

When his phone finally stopped buzzing, Tino took another slice of pizza and was just about to ask Emil about his day at school when the house phone rang and caused him to jump. Emil was closest to it, so he put his food down on the coffee table and stood up to answer it. 

“Hello? Oh, Hi Mrs V.” he said into the receiver, and Tino slammed his plate down beside Emil’s bowl and leapt up from the couch. Emil turned to glance at him over his shoulder as he waved his arms around then made an ‘x’ with them in front of his face, trying to signal to Emil to not let onto his mother that he was home.

“Ah, Tino… he’s, uh,” Emil stuttered, brows furrowed as he stared at Tino and tried to think of an excuse as to why Tino couldn’t come to the phone.

Tino pointed to the bathroom door and mimed having a shower, bringing his hands up to his hair then rubbing under his armpit while mouthing the word ‘shower’ silently.

“He’s in the shower. Er, yeah, he just got in so I don’t know how long he’ll be.” there was a pause as Emil stopped to listen to Karoliina and Tino could just about hear her voice muffling through the receiver. 

“I’ll tell him. Yeah, I’m fine. Mm-hmm, I’m 17 now. Of course, maybe in the summer holidays? Yes, I promise. Okay. Alright. Bye, Mrs V. 

With a click, Emil placed the phone back on the hook on the wall and turned to Tino,

“In case you couldn’t tell, that was your Mom. She said she’s called you a couple times about an article but you haven’t been answering your phone. She said call her back as soon as you can.” Emil said with a shrug as he returned to the couch and picked up his dinner again then looked up at Tino still stood in the middle of the living room,

“What article is she talking about? Did you write something?” 

Exhaling sharply, Tino realised that his fears about why his mother was suddenly so desperate to get hold of him were true, and he was glad that he hadn’t answered the phone to get just yet. 

“No, I didn’t write anything, though I wish that’s why Äiti was calling me because of something good that happened instead of this.” Tino said through a long sigh, rubbing a hand anxiously across his jaw as he sat down again opposite Emil on the couch. 

“But speaking of writing, I thought that I might have come across an opportunity or two before now to apply for journalism positions, or something other than just an assistant.” he glanced at Emil, then shook his head, 

“There’s a couple people that started recently as freelancers yet I didn’t even know of the position until they turned up at Icon. I’m starting to think I should look for something else, especially now that this stupid article has surfaced.”

“What article?” Emil asked again, mumbling through his mouthful of mac and cheese.

Shifting on the couch so that he could pull his phone from his back pocket, Tino swiped away the several missed calls from his mother on his home screen before opening up instagram. It took him a moment to rack his brains and think of the name of the gossip page that he posted the photo, then once he’d found it he tapped on the photo and handed his phone to Emil.

He paused with his fork half way to his mouth to read it, then dropped the utensil with a clatter back into the bowl as his eyes widened.

“Shit, Tino. This is my fault-” he began, looking up from the phone to stare at Tino, his brows knitted.

“It’s not your fault, Em. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. This affects Mr Kirkland more than me, I just happened to be the person he was seen with to allow for the opportunity for the rumour.” Tino said, his voice quiet.

Emil returned his attention to Tino’s phone, thumb scrolling down the article as he read it, his eyes moving quickly across the screen.

“Are you sure that this was meant for Mr Kirkland and not you?” he said, glancing up at Tino for a moment before returning his gaze to the screen.

Puzzled, Tino shuffled closer to Emil and peered at the screen, “What do you mean?”

“Well, considering that they describe you as a ‘mystery blonde’ in the title, if you read the article the person who wrote it seems to know that you’re actually Francis’s assistant at Icon. Look,” Emil pointed to one of the sentences in the short article beneath the picture and Tino felt his palms grow clammy,

“Oh my god, you’re right! I didn’t read the article properly because I was too annoyed, but I wish I had now!”

Prying his phone back from Emil’s hands, Tino studied the article, skimming over it. The first couple of paragraphs were about Mr Kirkland and his speculated relationship with Emily Jones and how his ‘affair’ might cost Icon the contract with her at fashion week, but then the rest of it was calling Tino all kinds of names, and as expected, picking on his weight and his clothes. 

“Didn’t you say that Ivan had recently started at Icon? What if this is his payback?” Emil suggested as he scraped at the last of his dinner at the bottom of the bowl.

Tino felt his brows shoot up in surprise as he stared at him,

“You think  _ Ivan _ wrote this?” he said, his voice catching in his throat.

“He might not have written all of it, but he could’ve submitted it to the gossip page to take a dig at you, and this has nothing to do with Mr Kirkland.”

Tino’s mouth hung slightly slack as Emil continued,

“I mean, you  _ did _ cause his boyfriend to cheat on him with you and then continued to date him even after they broke up.”

“Emil, I didn’t cause Marcus to cheat on Ivan! He kissed me first!” Tino stood up again from the couch, feeling hurt that Emil had brought this up. 

“Yeah, but you knew that he was dating Ivan yet you still went home with him that night. Sure, Marcus said that they were on a break, but I heard you talking to Lukas when you got home later the same night after Ivan had walked in on you two and-”

“Enough, Emil!” Tino interrupted with his voice raised. There was a tight feeling in his chest at the thought that there was a chance that Emil could be right. But Ivan had already been rubbing it in his face every day that he was now a journalist and Tino wasn’t, revelling in getting him to process paperwork for him as he wormed his way in closer to Francis. Surely that was enough, and that he wouldn’t go this far?

Storming into the kitchen and sitting down at the table, Tino snatched his laptop from where it lay in the centre and booted it up. Emil followed him in and dropped his bowl into the sink as he began to run water to do the dishes. 

“What are ya doing?” he asked as he pulled on the rubber gloves.

Tino’s jaw was clenched as he stabbed his fingers on keyboard to enter his password into the laptop,

“Searching for a source. There has to be a source to any article, and it’ll be easier to find it on the web rather than instagram.” he muttered as he waited for the desktop to load, his leg jittering impatiently under the table. 

While he waited, Tino chewed on his lip and couldn’t help but start to think about what this could do to his relationship with Berwald if Ivan decided to spread the gossip around the office that his boyfriend had cheated on him in the past with him. He’d been drunk and it was a stupid mistake, but Tino had slept with Marcus knowing full well that he was in a relationship with Ivan just to get at him for something that was so silly that he couldn’t even remember what it was, but then ended up catching feelings for Marcus. He’d gone to bed feeling bad every night for weeks after Marcus and Ivan had broken up until eventually he started seeing Marcus again.

Since being labelled as a cheater, Tino had made an effort to call out people like Francis to make him feel better about himself, and the fact that he’d made such a fuss about being paranoid that Berwald was cheating on someone with him was because he hated how it felt to be on the receiving end. 

As his laptop finally loaded, Tino swallowed the lump in his throat and opened the internet browser. He clicked on the search bar, fingers poised over the keyboard, but then froze when he noticed that recent searches that had popped up in the search history.

_ ➤ ‘I think I might be bisexual' _

_ ➤ ‘how to have safe sex with another guy’ _

_ ➤ ‘first time gay sex’ _

“Uh, Emil? I think I know where your brother might have gone.” Tino said, then felt a drop of sudsy water drip onto his shoulder as Emil came away from the sink to peer over his shoulder at the laptop screen.

  
  


\--------

The toilet lid was cold against Lukas’s bare skin as he sat locked in the bathroom with his head in his hands, completely naked.

“Lukas, I’m really sorry. Please don’t be embarrassed. I didn’t realise that you’d never-” Matthias’s voice carried through the other side of the door as he knocked on it gently once more and Lukas heard him sigh, “You should’ve said something. Please come out.”

At first Lukas had felt confident, quickly undressing Matthias and letting him do the same to him once the bedroom door was closed and they’d fallen onto the bed. The feeling of Matthias finally running his hands over him as they’d trailed lower and lower until they’d slipped beneath the waistband of his underwear was better than he’d dreamt it would feel, but it wasn’t until Matthias shimmied out of his own underwear and reached for the lube in the bedside drawer and asked Lukas between messy kisses what position he preferred did he realise that he couldn’t go through with it. He’d leapt from the bed and dashed for the en-suite bathroom, slamming the door closed and dragging the bolt across before Matthias could follow him.

Though he could no longer deny his feelings for Matthias, nor did he want to, Lukas cursed himself under his breath for trying to move things forward way too quickly. But the way that he felt when Matthias complimented him made him feel better than he had done in years, and after everything that had happened with Emil he wanted more of it, yet hadn’t counted on himself being unable to take their relationship that far so quickly.

He stood up, his knees trembling a little as he crept across the bathroom and over to the door.

“Can… Can you pass me my clothes please?” Lukas asked through the door and listened as he heard Matthias shuffling around in the bedroom.

“Here, I got’em. I’ll leave them on the floor outside for you. Come out when you’re ready, and I’ll be downstairs.” Matthias said, his voice gentle, and Lukas waited until he heard him make his way down the creaky staircase before he unlocked the door and snatched up his clothes. He hurried to get dressed then fixed his hair in the mirror, running his hands under the tap and smoothing it down with a little water. While he was looking in the mirror he noticed a couple of small red marks forming along his collarbone and felt a shiver run over his skin at the thought of the feeling of Matthias’s tongue dragging over the stretch of skin as he nipped and left little kisses. 

As Lukas left the bathroom to search for his socks that Matthias had forgotten about, when he found them on the floor by the bed he sat on it while he worked on collecting his thoughts as he pulled his socks back onto his feet. It wasn’t that Matthias had been dominant, if anything he’d been far from it, always waiting for Lukas to make the first move and only going as far as he’d wanted to, but there was a difference to being with another guy than Lukas had experienced in the past when sleeping with women. Whether it was the similar bodily strength or stamina, or the feel of a male chest and torso rather than the soft swell of breasts beneath his hands, Lukas wasn’t sure, but it left him wanting more of Matthias; just not quite yet.

First, he wanted to know who Matthias really was when not communicating from behind a phone screen.

Leaving the bedroom and making his way downstairs, Lukas had just reached the bottom of the stairs when he heard the tip-tapping of a dog’s paws across the laminate floor, and sure enough just as he’d stepped down the last stair a golden labrador came bounding over to him, tongue hanging out and tail wagging excitedly.

“Oh hello, you’re very sweet aren’t you?” Lukas cooed as he knelt down to stroke her, patting her head as she licked his face a couple of times. The smell of brewing coffee was drifting through the house, and Lukas stood up to make his way through into the kitchen, followed by the dog. 

“Penny, c’mere girl,” Matthias called when he spotted Lukas in the doorway, and Penny left his side and went over to Matthias and sat at his feet. 

“Are you a dog person? If you’re not then don't worry, I can take her outside for a little while,” Matthias asked, looking over at Lukas from where he was stooped down scratching behind Penny’s ear with his hand.

Lukas just smiled a little and shook his head, reaching into his pocket and taking out his packet of cigarettes,

“It’s fine, I don’t mind her. But can we still go outside while I have this?” he said, gesturing to the cigarettes in his hand and watched as Matthias nodded and a wide grin spread across his face,

“Yeah no problem. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to stick around or not, but I made coffee just in case.”

Standing up, Matthias pointed behind him to the back door,

“If you wanna go out into the yard with Penny I’ll be out in a second.”

His smile grew even wider when Lukas nodded and stepped past him, calling for Penny to follow him. 

The garden out the back of Matthias’s house was huge, and Lukas opened a pair of glass french doors that led out onto a patio area and stepped out. Penny raced to the bottom of the garden where she found a large branch that had fallen from the old tree that leaned over the fence and lay down to chew it. There was a greenhouse filled with ripening tomato plants and several raised beds all containing vegetables at different stages of growth. 

Taking a seat on one of the two cast iron chairs on the patio, Lukas took out a cigarette from the packet and held it between his lips, taking in a few drags as he lit the end with his zippo. He frowned as he looked around but saw no sign of an ashtray and made a mental note to sweep the patio later to get rid of the ash as he flicked the first build up away and watched it fall to the floor. 

“Here ya go, one black coffee.” Matthias announced as he emerged from the house carrying to steaming mugs of coffee, placing them both down on the table before taking the other seat. 

Though it was still too hot to drink just yet, Lukas picked up his mug and moved it closer to him as he mumbled a thanks to Matthias and caught his eye. Once he’d taken a couple more drags of his cigarette and felt his nerves calm a little, Lukas turned to Matthias and asked a question that had been on his mind for weeks.

“How did you know that I was gay? Or at least into guys?” 

The question seemed to take Matthias aback a little as he just blinked at him for a few moments until he smiled a little sheepishly,

“Well, I actually came into your store and bought a book from you and met you before introducing myself in the cafe. I’d seen you before in the cafe sat at your usual table, and only came into your store that day because I was passing and I recognised you. I was too embarrassed to tell you that I’d seen you before the cafe though, which is why I pretended that I didn’t know you worked at the store at the signing that day, but I didn’t have a clue that you owned it.” Matthias began, a light tone to his voice as he spoke,

“But you recommended a book to me that day which I ended up buying, _The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue_ , but you probably don’t remember. You said that you could relate to the main character in the book when I asked why you liked it, and after I read it I worked out that the character was bi. So the next time I saw you in the cafe I decided to take my chances, and you know how the rest of the story goes from there.” he finished with a shrug, a slightly apprehensive look on his face as he reached for his coffee mug. 

“I didn’t know that I was bi until I met you.” Lukas said after a small silence, feeling like a weight was being lifted from his shoulders with his every word, finally coming to terms with the fact that he was, and that he was attracted to Matthias. 

“There’s nothing wrong with that. Took me a long time to figure out that I was gay.” Matthias said between sips of his coffee,

“And it doesn’t bother you that I’m bi, not gay?” Lukas asked the final question that had kept him awake sometimes at night, and when Matthias laughed and shook his head, Lukas let out a long breath that it felt like he’d been holding forever as he dropped his cigarette to the ground and smothered it beneath his shoe. 

“Of course not. You’re really cool, Lukas. I really am sorry about earlier, I honestly didn’t realise, but if you want to take this slowly then I’d really love that.” Matthias set his coffee mug down on the table and held out his hand across it, his palm open, and Lukas hesitated for a moment before reaching his own hand across to hold Matthias’s and gave it the tiniest squeeze.

“I’d love that too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooooo I don't know what else to say about this chapter other than after 8 years I've finally worked out how I'm gonna end this fic, but we still have a long way to go lol
> 
> The book mentioned, The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee, is a book that is based on a bi main character. I haven't read it, but it's on my recommendations list suggested to me by a friend.
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter, and thank you for reading!
> 
> See you all next chapter! <3
> 
> -lumassen x


	23. Chapter 23 - Friend or Foe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry if there's any typos I haven't proof read as always

**Chapter 23 - Friend or Foe**

The house was quiet, and Tino’s eyes were starting to feel heavy as he lay in bed staring at his phone. He blinked a couple of times to clear his sleep clouded vision until the picture he was looking at of himself with Marcus was no longer blurry. His thumb ached from scrolling what seemed like endlessly across the screen while he looked through his facebook page to find the photo, and now it was poised over the ‘delete’ icon. Part of him was a little wistful as he looked at his own smiling face, and the way that Marcus had his arm draped around him in the photo while remembering how it’d felt to be with him, to be younger and smitten. But the longer Tino looked at the picture, the worse he felt, and so when he tapped the delete button and watched the picture disappear once the screen refreshed he let out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding. 

The photo had been from a summer barbecue last year that Marcus’s parents had hosted, and now that Tino was thinking back to it he couldn’t help but laugh cynically in spite of himself alone in the dark of the apartment as he closed facebook and opened his text messages with Berwald. The fact that he thought what he had with Marcus was love was enough to make Tino want to bury himself under the covers. If Emil was right, and Ivan was the one to release the article, then what Tino now had with Berwald was in thin ice.

He loved Berwald. 

In the back of his mind, Tino had known that he loved him for a while, but the fact that it felt so different to anything else that he’d ever called love previously made him almost not want to admit it. But as he now scrolled through their text conversation, a smile creeping across his lips as he read over the words Tino realised that he’d never felt happier or more secure as he read the latest message that Berwald had sent little over an hour ago.

_ SMS from Ber: Goodnight Tino. Remember to keep your head high and I’ll see you tomorrow. x _

Locking his phone and shoving it under his pillow, Tino rolled over in bed so that he was staring up at the ceiling. He looked past the darkness in the room until he could see Berwald’s face in his mind, complete with that shy, goofy smile that he loved so much.

_ Loved _ . 

Tino was just about to drift off to sleep when he stirred at the sound of keys in the lock on the front door, and as he cracked an eye open and peered toward the hall he saw a slither of light creep in from the light on the porch and cascade across the carpet before it shrank away again once the door was closed.

He listened for a moment as Lukas unzipped his coat and hung it up, then as he crept past the doorway Tino sat up in bed.

“What time d’ya call this, huh?” he teased, calling out to Lukas, keeping his voice low while squinting a little as he turned the lamp on that stood on the side table beside his sofa-bed. 

Lukas looked startled to see Tino awake as he hurried into the living room, closing the door gently behind him before crossing the room to stop beside the bed. 

“Hey. Sorry that I didn’t call. What are you doing awake?” Lukas whispered as he sank down on the edge of the bed, drawing his legs up so that they were crossed beneath him. 

Tino adjusted the pillow behind his back and sat up further, causing goosebumps to prickle over his skin as it slipped out from beneath the warmth of the duvet when he shifted to the side of the bed to give Lukas a little more room.

“Well I  _ was _ just about to fall asleep,” he said with a shrug, then grinned when Lukas looked apologetic and bit his lip.

“But it’s fine. Where’ve you been?”

Even though Tino knew the answer already to the question that he’d asked, the last thing he wanted to do was embarrass Lukas by mentioning the fact that it was probably a good idea to clear his browsing history after he was done using a shared laptop.

Lukas dropped his gaze to the duvet beneath him and traced the striped pattern with his finger. His hair fell softly across his face, and he smelt of cigarette smoke.

“Well, y’know Matthias?” he began, looking up at Tino through his hair for a moment before looking away again as Tino rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I know Matthias. The guy you’re smitten for?” he muttered through his grin, then flinched to dodge Lukas’s fist as it aimed for his knee.

“I’m  _ not _ smitten, but I went ‘round to his place this afternoon. He has a dog.”

Tino’s grin fell as he blinked at Lukas, waiting for him to say more, but when he didn’t Tino gently kicked him from beneath the duvet with his foot.

“So what if he has a dog? You’re not going to tell me how it went? Like, what did you guys _ do _ ? What did you talk about? Is he your boyfriend yet?”

With each question that Tino fired at Lukas, Lukas’s face grew redder and redder until he held up a hand to silence his best friend.

“You’re such a child. We talked, had dinner, kissed a little-“

“You  _ kissed _ him?” Tino leapt forward, his eyes widely boring into Lukas’s as he took hold of his shoulders.

He knew he was being dramatic, but in that moment he couldn’t bring himself to care as a grin matching the size of his own broke across Lukas’s face as he shushed him.

“Not so loud, but  _ yes _ , I kissed him.” Lukas said, shrugging free of Tino’s grip.

Not wanting to annoy Lukas any further than he probably was, Tino decided not to press for any more information and instead just sat and watched Lukas as he got up from the bed and wandered over to the kitchen. He rummaged around in the cupboard for a moment before returning with a packet of cookies.

Once he’d sat back down on the bed, Lukas and Tino polished off a few cookies each whilst a comfortable silence fell between them before Lukas spoke again.

“Do you think it’s weird how we met?” he asked through his mouthful, covering his mouth with his hand, and Tino shook his head, his attention half occupied by brushing cookie crumbs from his lap.

“Of course not. Why, do you think it’s weird?”

Lukas paused to eat another cookie, the pack now half empty,

“It’s just that- Well, I could’ve been in a relationship or anything. Matthias couldn’t have known I was single, or even into men.”

Lukas’s voice was soft as he spoke, and Tino just regarded him for a moment as he thought about his answer. At first his initial thought was that Lukas was reading too much into this and was being silly, but the more Tino thought about how he’d felt while trying to work out if Berwald was married or not soon put things back into perspective.

“No, I don’t think it’s weird. If anything it’s nicer the way you two met, what with Tinder and Grindr being a thing these days.” He said with a small smile, but then it fell away as he gasped and reached under his pillow to retrieve his phone.

Lukas raised an eyebrow and finished off the last of the cookies while he watched Tino as his thumbs flew across the screen.

“What’re ya doing?” he questioned, shuffling closer to Tino and peering at the phone screen.

“I’m wondering if Emil’s on Tinder now that I’m thinking about it.” Tino mumbled, not raising his eyes from the screen to see Lukas roll his eyes.

“Well I’m going to bed. I’ll leave you to spy on my little brother and I want nothing to do with it.” He scoffed, getting up from the bed and snatching up the empty cookie packet. 

At this Tino looked up and watched Lukas’s back as he headed for the door,

“Wait but aren’t you going to tell me about Matthias?” he called after him causing him to pause halfway out through the door.

Lukas turned to look back over at Tino, a small smile on his face despite the sigh that slipped through his lips.

“Tino, it’s 2am. I’ll tell you tomorrow. G’night.” he said, then slipped out into the hall and Tino heard the door to Lukas’s bedroom click closed softly behind him.

The feeling of sleep that was overcoming Tino just a little while ago was now long gone as he flopped back on the bed, his head hitting the pillow with a thump. As well as hearing about how Lukas’s night had gone with Matthias, Tino also wanted to confide in his friend about what Emil had said about Ivan. 

To try and take his mind off the thoughts buzzing around his mind, Tino propped his elbows on his stomach and held his phone up above him while he logged back onto his old Tinder account, then cringed at himself as his profile loaded up. The photo he’d used was an old selfie from a couple years ago, and while at the time he thought he looked good in it, Tino realised just how much he’d changed since. 

For starters he still had his braces. His smile was metallic and his lips distorted as they stretched over them, and his hair was shorter and parted differently, drawing horrendous attention to his plump cheeks. 

Quickly he clicked off his profile before he had a chance to read whatever cheesy attempt at a pick-up line he’d used and began to swipe through all of the profiles of the people within a 10 mile radius all looking for love, hoping to find Emil. He wasn’t too sure  _ why _ he was looking for Emil or what possessed him to wonder if he was on the app, but before Tino could think any more about it his hasty swiping ground to a halt when his eyes fell upon an all too familiar photo - one that he’d been cropped out of. 

The same photo that he’d just deleted from his facebook profile not even half an hour ago was staring back at him once more, yet this time it was cropped to contain just Marcus’s face.

As far as Tino was aware, Marcus hadn’t ever used Tinder or any dating site, and so hesitantly he tapped on the photo and waited for Marcus’s profile to load. When it did, his Tino’s brows shot up and he stared at the small tagline under the photo.

“ _ Marcus, 26, recently single, fed up of being treated like a concierge forced to carry baggage _ .”

Reading the line over and over again until his eyes began to burn from needing to blink, Tino dropped his arms down by his side with a sigh then dragged his hands across his face, leaving his phone discarded wherever it landed on the bed. 

Clearly something had happened between Marcus and Ivan, and as ever Tino was stuck in the middle, and had he not felt so worried about this damn article he would have laughed at Marcus’s overly dramatic tagline. 

Deciding he’d had enough drama for one day, Tino rolled over and angrily flicked the lamp off, then as the room fell into darkness once more he buried himself under the duvet and willed himself to sleep.

\------

The next morning felt hectic as Emil flew around the apartment gathering papers and study books from where he’d left them all strewn across every single room - including the bathroom and so ended up walking in on Tino taking a shower. Though he’d stuttered numerous apologies Emil still didn’t leave and instead held a hand over the side of his face to block his view of Tino standing stunned in the shower cubicle while he thumbed through the magazines on the floor beside the toilet to look for a particular English Lit book. 

By the time Tino had finished in the bathroom and got dressed for work, Emil had left early for school and Lukas was sitting alone at the table in the kitchen eating breakfast. When Tino entered the room, Lukas passed him a travel flask of coffee and Tino made sure that the lid was properly sealed before he slipped it into his satchel. 

"Your Mom called my mobile yesterday twice by the way. I missed the calls and it was too late to call her back by the time I noticed. Do you know what she wanted?" Lukas said between sips from his own mug.

Tino sighed and leant against the counter. He’d completely forgotten about needing to call his mother.

“Yeah she was just, uh, checking what our plans were for Christmas.” Tino lied through his teeth then instantly regretted his choice of reason for his mother to call as Lukas turned around in his chair and looked at Tino with a raised brow,

“But it’s only May. Christmas is ages away. And why would she call me about that?”

“I don’t know! She’s a Finn, don’t question it, okay?”

Lukas looked puzzled, but a car horn beeped outside before he had the chance to ask any more questions.

Tino pushed off the counter and took a piece of toast with marmalade from the rack on the table,

“Well, that’ll be my escort. See ya Lu, have a good day!” he said as he headed for the door,

“Escort? What d’ya mean?” Lukas called after him, and Tino paused with one foot in his shoes as he realised that Lukas was still completely clueless about not only the article, but the fact that Tino was essentially on house arrest. 

“Oh yeah I didn’t tell you did I? It’s a long story, I’ll tell you tonight.” Tino muttered just loud enough for Lukas to hear from the kitchen. Part of him wished that he’d got up earlier so that he could discuss everything with Lukas to iron out his thoughts, especially now that he knew that things were over between Ivan and Marcus - or so he gathered from seeing Marcus on Tinder. He had a feeling that it was something to do with Ivan suddenly showing up at ICON too, but surely he would have been just as surprised to see Tino working there than Tino had been to see him. 

Shaking his head as he finished tying his shoes Tino straightened up and left the apartment. The air was finally getting warm outside, and the morning sun shone brightly from behind the clouds. Once at the bottom of the back stairs, Tino stepped out onto the street and expected to see the same black company car that had driven him home last night, but instead he was greeted by a familiar beat up Volvo. 

“Ber! What are you doing here?” Tino exclaimed, pleasantly surprised, as he pulled the car door open and peered inside, his mood instantly lifting. 

“Heard about you havin’ to be driven to and from the offices ‘cause of that article. So I asked Francis if I could drive ya instead.” Berwald said, motioning toward the passenger seat then smiled as Tino hurried to climb into the car. 

“I’m guessing he said yes then?” Tino asked cheerily as he stuffed his satchel down into the footwell, but then his brows furrowed when he turned to Berwald and caught his expression. 

“Wait, he  _ did _ say yes, right? Ber you could get in trouble-”

Tino began to protest but stopped talking when Berwald started laughing and started the car. 

“He said yeah, Tino. Don’t worry.” 

Berwald put the car into gear and was just about to pull away off the curb when Tino leant forward in his seat toward him, and was happy when Berwald did the same and brought their lips together for a quick greeting kiss. It was as though no matter what the worry or insecurity was, Tino no longer felt it’s weight while he was around Berwald.

“About the article... You know it’s not true, don’t you?” Tino asked once Berwald had pulled out onto the main road. Glancing away from the road, Berwald met Tino’s eye for a moment and scoffed.

“Course I do. I might be outta touch with some things at ICON, but I’ve seen my fair share of ‘scandals’ come an’ go.” 

As he spoke, Berwald took one hand from the wheel and made air quotations while he said the word ‘scandal’,

“Besides, I know you’d never be a cheat. Especially not with someone like Arthur too.” he laughed again as he continued, clearly amused by the situation, and Tino would’ve laughed along with him if Berwalds words didn’t feel like a punch to the gut. Unable to think of what to say in response, Tino felt his heart rise into his throat as he turned to stare out of the window.

In the reflection in the glass Tino could see Berwald turn to look at the back of his head.

“You ok?” he asked hesitantly, picking up on Tino’s unease, “Sorry, I never asked how ya felt about all this. Hope it hasn’t upset you too much.” 

Tino fiddled with his seatbelt for a moment before turning back to Berwald with a smile.

“I’m fine, Ber. Just a little irritated by it all I guess, like I’m just a big joke or something.” he said, annoyed by the way that his voice began to tremble.

Tearing his eyes away from the road once again, Tino felt Berwalds eyes on him. 

“Tino, you’re not a joke.” 

Berwald’s voice was flat and serious, and when Tino glanced over at him again he could see that his expression matched his tone. 

Now that he was on the topic once more, Tino suddenly found it hard to hold back tears as he felt a lump forming in his throat. His face crumpled and he buried it in his hands, mortified. 

Then to his surprise, he felt the car bump up the pavement and when Tino took his hands away he saw that Berwald had pulled over and unfastened his seatbelt so that he could turn to fully face him. He reached over and wiped away a tear that ran down Tino’s cheek with his thumb, then turned the car engine off and stayed quiet while Tino composed himself.

“I can’t believe I’m crying.” he laughed between sobs, wiping his nose on the back of his hand, “I must look ugly when I cry too, huh?” 

Even through his tearfilled vision, Tino didn’t miss the slight smirk or roll of Berwalds eyes at his comment. If it were anyone else would have made him feel worse, but instead the fact that Berwald didn’t take his self depreciation all that seriously was strangely comforting. 

After a couple of deep breaths, Tino made an effort to slow his tears. Then he did as Berwald had done and unbuckled his seatbelt, twisting around so that his back was up against the car door and brought one leg up to hug it against his chest, his foot on the seat in front of him. 

“It’s just  _ weird _ , y’know?” he began, looking at the traffic passing on the road out of the window beyond Berwalds shoulder. 

Berwald remained quiet for a little while longer, waiting for Tino to elaborate, but when he didn’t he leant his head back against the window.

“What’s weird?” 

The first word that sprang to Tino’s mind was ‘ _ everything _ ’, but that wouldn’t help himself nor Berwald to understand how he was feeling. He took a moment to think, running a hand through his hair and dragging his fingernails over his scalp before dropping his hand into his lap with a sigh.

“I just didn’t expect everything to be like this, I suppose. Maybe I thought that I was cut out for it, that I could handle it.  _ It _ being ICON, my job, the stress. I wanted to be good at it, but all this,” he gestured to the car with his hands, “this isn’t worth it.”

The fact that he was finally admitting this out loud made Tino feel uneasy, but on several occasions over the past week or so he’d lain awake at night wondering if he really wanted to stay at ICON. He’d been there less than a year, and so to walk away now and look for something else wouldn’t look good on his resume, but in everything that had happened over his time working for Francis he’d forgotten why he wanted to work for a publications in the first place. Seeing Lukas succeeding with his bookshop now was great, but also made Tino realise that he wasn’t truly happy.

“Then quit.” Berwald said with a shrug and folded his arms across his chest.

Tino narrowed his eyes, “What do you mean,  _ quit _ ? It’s not as easy as that, Ber.”

“Of course it is. If yer not happy, then why stay?”

At this, Tino didn’t have a response, and instead just sat gawping at Berwald. As stressful as life at ICON was, deep down Tino didn’t really  _ want _ to leave. He had friends there, and he didn’t dislike Francis or Arthur or even Mr Beilschmidt. The pay packet that he took home each month wasn’t too bad, and though he never thought he would, Tino had taken to his role and enjoyed getting involved with photoshoots and editorials. It just wasn’t at all what he imagined he’d be doing, and the fact that he was too afraid to call his own mother because of a stupid article that blatantly called him names was madness. 

As Tino wiped away more tears from his eyes that threatened to fall, he watched as Berwald leant across the car and opened the glove compartment in front of the passenger seat.

“Look, just know that I dunno anyone else that’d be able to handle everythin’ that you have while still keeping so positive. You don’t deserve any of this crap and shouldn’t have to put up with it, but ya take it in your stride anyway.”

Berwald mumbled a little while he spoke, partially preoccupied with rummaging around in the glove compartment until he found what he was looking for and sat back in his seat again, his hand closed around something that he held in his palm.

“Whatever you do, whether you leave ICON or not, I want ya to have this. Use it whenever you need to.”

“I never said I’d leave Ber, I just need to figure out-“ Tino began, but stopped talking immediately when Berwald held out his hand towards him and opened his palm out flat. There, attached to a metal keychain in the shape of the letter T, was a key.

Looking between Berwald and the key, Tino froze, and only reached across the car to take the key from his hand when Berwald cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Don’t feel like ya have to take it, and I know it’s probably too soon, but I want you to know that I lo- that I’m serious, and mean everything I say about you.”

Tino’s heart was racing a mile a minute as he clasped the key in his hand and held it to his chest as Berwald’s words left his ears ringing. Again, at a loss for words, Tino could feel a slight tension building between he and Berwald in the car that was eventually broken by Berwald fidgeting in his seat and starting up the engine again.

“It’s the spare key to my house, by the way.” he deadpanned, and Tino couldn’t help but let out a strangled noise that was a combination of both sobs and laughter. 

“I know what it is Ber!” he cried, his voice coming out louder than he expected as fresh tears ran down his cheeks and dripped down his neck.

Berwald sat in the driver's seat, one hand on the wheel, looking a little stunned at Tino’s reaction. Despite the fact that the engine was running it didn’t look like Berwald planned to continue driving to work just yet, and so Tino yanked the car door open and began to scramble out from the car. Unsure of what else to do, Berwald did the same, and hurried around the car and out of the road. He’d only just stepped up onto the pavement when Tino flung his arms around his neck with such force that it nearly threw Berwald off balance.

Returning the embrace, Berwald held Tino for a little while until he’d collected himself, ignoring the odd look they received from a passer-by who sidled around them on the street. 

“Berwald I- Are you sure about this? You really trust me?” Tino’s eyes were beginning to grow sore and he knew that he must look like a complete mess, but he didn’t care as he reached up to cup Berwald’s face between his hands.

“Of course I’m sure. Why wouldn’t I trust you?” Berwald said as he laced his fingers through the hair at the back of Tino’s neck. 

For a moment, Tino screwed his eyes shut and pressed his forehead against Berwalds chest while he debated telling him about his past mistakes involving Marcus and Ivan, but decided against it, not wanting to ruin what was such an important moment in their relationship. Instead he took a step back and clasped Berwald’s hand in his own when it dropped back down by his side.

“Just know that-” he paused and drew in a breath, looking Berwald square in the face, “Just know that I love you, Berwald, no matter what anyone says. I love you.” 

As Tino finished speaking, it was Berwald’s turn to get glassy eyed as the beginnings of tears brimmed in his eyes before he blinked them away. 

“Love you too, Tino.”

Both of them were more than late for work at this point, and though the street corner outside the kebab shop wasn’t the most romantic of places to confess love for one another, Tino couldn’t bring himself to care as he stood on his tiptoes to plant a firm kiss on Berwalds lips.

\------------

Emil had never been this early for school in his life. 

Under normal circumstances he would’ve just hung out with Leon, but of course this wasn’t normal circumstances. Instead, Emil watched Leon from his locker as he stood laughing with Mei from Math class and another boy that he didn’t recognise, though it appeared that Leon knew him well enough to hang out with him.

Over the past week Emil had sent numerous apology texts to Leon that had all gone ignored and instead had to silently watch what his best friend was up to without him via his instagram and snapchat stories. During class Leon stared blankly past him and had even started bringing a packed lunch to school to avoid sitting with Emil. He’d never meant to upset Leon, and what made it worse is that the night he’d had that ended up ruining a lifetime of friendship wasn’t even worth it. 

What he couldn’t understand though is that it was an accident, and Emil was hurt that Leon couldn’t see it that way and that he honestly thought that Emil would stoop low enough to outright ignore him and stand him up.

Pursing his lips as he shook his head and tore his gaze away from Leon, Emil rummaged around in his locker for his study papers, then held them between his teeth to free his hand as his phone buzzed inside his blazer pocket.

Standing closer to his locker so that his phone was hidden from view should a teacher walk past, Emil opened his text message from Lukas. 

_ SMS from Lukas: Good luck today. Love ya, punk. _

Suppressing an eye roll, Emil was glad of the little text from his brother, even if it was soppy. 

_ SMS to Lukas: Thanks, ly2 _

Before his papers could get too soggy between his teeth, Emil replied to the text and slid his phone away back into his pocket then slammed his locker closed. He was just about to turn and head to the library when he felt a pair of warm, clammy hands over his eyes and jumped out of his skin, dropping his papers all over the floor.

“Hey, what the hell are you doing?”

Emil yelled as he spun around angrily and was met by the face of the person he last expected to see.

“Caoimhe?” 

“Surprise!” she said, tucking a lock of unruly hair behind her ear and smiled at Emil a little shyly. She wasn’t dressed in a school uniform, but she did look smarter than Emil had ever seen her. She wore a pencil skirt and a blouse with black tights and shiny brogues. 

“Why are you here looking like you’re about to go to a funeral?” Emil questioned as he crouched down and began to gather his papers from the floor. Caoimhe too knelt onto the floor and helped Emil collect the papers closest to her and handed them back to him as they stood up.

“Ha ha, you’re funny aren’t you?” she pouted, narrowing her eyes at Emil, but it wasn’t long before her usual boisterous grin returned to her face.

“I’m home schooled, but I need to take my exams the same way that you peasants do in a ridiculously quiet hall under the scrutiny of a teacher that’s either gonna look like a shrew, a hawk, or both, to prove that I’m not cheatin’.” 

At this Emil couldn’t help but smirk a little. The more time he’d spent with Caoimhe while they worked together at Venus the more he’d gotten used to her sense of humour. He also couldn’t help but think that she was right, and that the headteacher did look a little bit like a shrew. 

“My brother pays for my tuition, but I’d much rather have gone to a normal school.” Caoimhe continued, and Emil scoffed.

“Trust me, you don’t.” he muttered, then peered at the time on the clock on the wall.

“We’ve still got half an hour before we need to start going to the hall for the exam. I was gonna cram in the library. You could come with me, if you want?” 

“Well _ I _ was gonna go get some breakfast. I heard that the re-heated canteen scrambled eggs were to die for. You can study while I eat.” 

Before waiting for Emil to say anything, Caoimhe set off down the corridor towards the canteen, and Emil quickened his pace to follow her. As he passed Leon and his friends, Emil watched as they stopped talking to stare at Caoimhe, probably just as puzzled as to who she was and what she was doing here as he had been. Now that Emil had Leon's attention he wanted to keep it the best that he could, and so once he matched his pace with Caoimhe he reached out and took hold of her hand, entwining his fingers with hers. He felt her tense a little, but by some miracle she didn’t snatch her hand away or say anything until they were around the corner and out of Leon’s sight. 

“So, I know I’m pretty, but do you wanna explain yourself?” Caoimhe said as she picked up a plastic tray from the front of the canteen line and wiped her hand dramatically on her skirt. Emil’s face was bright red as he began to stutter out an apology.

“I’m sorry, that was stupid it’s just- that guy back there has been ignoring me and I wanted to get his attention but now I feel like a dick-”

“Ah, so _ that’s _ Leon, huh?” 

Dropping her accusatory tone, Caoimhe now instead sounded genuinely interested in Emil’s reasoning for holding her hand out of the blue.

“And you wanted to impress him by pretending that you’ve got a girl, right?”

Had it been possible for Emil’s face to grow any redder, then it would have done as he buried it within his hands. 

“Sort of? It’s a long story, but please just can we forget about this? You owe me one for sticking up for you to Sadik, remember? Consider this debt paid, okay?”

Following Caoimhe down the breakfast line as she slid her tray towards the hot food counter, Emil lowered his voice, but it was all in vain when Caoimhe loudly burst out laughing, taking both the dinner lady and Emil by surprise.

“I mean sure, debt paid, but you’re not worming your way out of this one, Em, I want the gossip.” she said, then turned her attention to the dinner lady and ordered a plate of scrambled eggs on toast. Emil waited until she’d paid and they found an empty table in the dining hall before continuing their conversation.

“Well, if you really want to know that’s on you, because you’re actually the reason that I’ve fallen out with my best friend.”

Seemingly unfazed by this information, Caoimhe only glanced up from her plate of food for a moment,

“Oh really? How so?”

Emil rolled his eyes, then went off on a tangent, telling Caoimhe about everything that happened after Tino came to drag him home from the club, even down to the article that had surfaced involving Arthur and Tino. By the time he’d finished Caoimhe’s plate was clean and she was sitting opposite Emil with her arms folded.

“So, this is my fault how? You were the one who forgot about Leon, not me. You didn’t have to come to the club with us, I just wanted to be a friend and could see that you needed some cheering up.”

As she spoke, Emil crumpled in his seat and just let his forehead rest against the slightly sticky canteen table. He knew that she was right, and that this was all his fault, but he’d  _ tried _ to patch things up with Leon and didn’t know what else to do about it. But then he sat up quickly upon realising something that Caoimhe had just said.

“Wait, you said you wanted to be a friend. Are we friends?” he said, then watched as Caoimhe smirked and looked at him dumbfounded.

“Of course we are, d’ya really think I’d stick my neck out for you so much at work if we weren’t? You’re a loser and it sounds like you  _ need  _ me to be your friend right now, but sure, I’m your friend.”

She shrugged, then stood up from the table for a moment to throw her empty paper plate and plastic knife and fork away. When she came back she glanced at the time on her phone then slammed her palms down on the table.

“Right, you said you wanted to cram for this exam? You’ve got 20 minutes, so you’d better get cracking.” She said, and Emil nodded, picking up his papers from the empty seat beside him and placing them on the table in between them. Caoimhe leaned over to look at his notes,

“Wow, your handwriting is terrible.” she teased, then shrieked as Emil rolled up one of the pages and hit her over the head.

“Then get your own notes, these ones are for peasants eyes only.”

“Sorry, sorry, I’m joking.” she laughed, then leaned across the table and pressed her hand to the back of Emil’s head so that he was staring down at the pages in front of him, “Now study, or else you’ll probably blame me for this too if you fail.”

Once her eyes were lowered back to the papers as she read over Emil’s notes, he took a moment to look at her and found that he was glad to have a friend in Caoimhe, even if she was a little weird; because so was he. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, it's been a minute, huh? 
> 
> I'm sorry for leaving this fic for so long, but hopefully this chapter was worth the wait!
> 
> See you all next chapter :)
> 
> -lumassen x


	24. Chapter 24 - Friends in the corner

**Chapter 24 - Friends in the corner**

The sun had barely risen over the rooftops as Lukas padded down to the bookstore, still in his slippers. The mornings were lighter now, and the air was less biting. Spring was well and truly on its way out and summer was creeping around the corner with each day that passed. 

After flicking on the lights, Lukas walked around the counter and over to the calendar on the wall, hesitating for a moment before lifting the page and turning over to the start of May. The calendar itself was pretty nondescript, a standard month by month with a picture of a different famous author each month together with a quote. But Lukas didn’t even pay attention to who the author was this month, and instead his eye was drawn straight to the red circle around May 17th. In just sixteen days, Lukas would turn 30. 

With a sigh he picked up the marker and drew an ‘x’ through the 1st, then tossed it back onto the counter where it bounced then rolled off the other side. 

Usually not the type of person to be bothered by appearance, age, or any of the niggles that society seemed to deem important, for some reason the fact that he was turning 30 sent a churning in Lukas’s stomach. Most of the people he'd gone to college with were settled down by now with wives, husbands, children, mortgages. All Lukas had to show for what he’d done in his twenties was a dusty bookstore and a bad credit score as a result of accumulative debt. 

The way people would talk about their thirties was as though it was all downhill from there, and your youth was well and truly over. Bringing his hand over his brow and peering at his reflection in the shop window, Lukas ran his finger across the thin lines that were starting to form that he could have sworn weren’t there last month. It wasn’t until a woman passing by gave him a funny look as she walked past the window did Lukas hurry away and grab his inventory ledger from the counter. 

It was 7:30am, and Lukas had plans to update his stock. Over the past few nights he’d been browsing the internet, researching the latest book trends and new genres that publishers seemed to invent daily and decided that it was time for a mini revamp. Non-fiction would slowly be phased out to make way for a ‘dystopian romance’ section - whatever that was - as most of the kids these days studied online anyway and didn’t spend money on expensive textbooks. As well as new genres to adult fiction, a teen section was to be added as an extension to children's literature. 

It was exciting in a way, and Lukas was determined to make the best of his thirties. If that was at all possible.

Most of his morning was spent moving piles of books around, shifting shelving units and re-writing displays. By the time 9am came around and it was nearly time for opening, Lukas’s new sale section was set up and ready to help the phasing out of non-fiction, and the first two shelves had been cleared in the children's corner ready for the first delivery of teen books arriving tomorrow. A sweat had broken out across Lukas’s back and his cheeks were flushed from so much heavy lifting, so he took himself back upstairs for a moment to change into some smarter clothes and discard his slippers. Stopping in front of the mirror as he passed it on his way out of his bedroom, Lukas glanced at his reflection once more. 

This time the image of himself was a lot clearer than it had been in the shop window. His hair was getting long and would soon need cutting. His shirt had wrinkles in it from where it had been folded in the drawer, and a faint, yellow skin stain was forming across the callous at the tip of his middle finger from where too many cigarettes had been held there over the years. Now, all of a sudden, Lukas  _ felt _ old. 

Changing his shirt once more into one that had been hanging up in the wardrobe and had no wrinkles in an attempt to make himself feel a little better, Lukas sighed as he still saw a tired man staring back at him regardless.

Not wanting to get himself down, he scraped his hair back and shook his head, taking himself back down to the shop and threw the front door open, flipping the sign to ‘open’. Then, he propped it open with the door wedge to let fresh air swirl around the store. Lukas stood in the doorway for a moment, eyes closed as he leant on the doorframe and took in a deep breath of what was now warm, crisp morning air. He stayed there until his phone buzzed in his jean pocket and brought him back to reality.

“Morning gorgeous.” Matthias said, his tone cheery as he greeted Lukas through the phone.

“Don’t call me that. That’s something people say to someone they’re dating.” Lukas muttered, talking lowly and glancing over his shoulder as though Matthias could be heard on the other end of the phone by anyone other than himself.

Matthias laughed, and Lukas could picture his face in his mind, his smile wide and cheeks pinched the way they did when he was happy.

“Isn’t that what we’re doing?” he asked, and Lukas frowned, turning his back to the open door and walking over to the counter. But before he had the chance to think of how he wanted to respond to that statement, Matthias sighed lightly and continued talking,

“Well, anyway, the reason I’m callin’ ya is because there’s a spring bounty fayre on in a couple weeks and I... I was wonderin’ if you wanted to come with me?”

Matthias, trailed off, the pitch of his voice getting higher in uncertainty as he asked the question.

“Oh, um,” Lukas began, walking back over to the calendar again and peering at the dates, “when is it?”

The line was quiet for a moment as Matthias paused, then he sighed again,

“It’s on a Saturday. The 16th. Look, I  _ know _ you’re busy with the shop, but I’d love ta spend actual time with you so it was worth an ask at least even if the answer is no.” 

Matthias was still laughing through his words, but Lukas could still hear a slight dejection in his tone. 

Over the past couple of weeks since Lukas had gone to Matthias’s house, they’d seen each other every Monday afternoon, and Lukas had closed the shop to take half the day off for it. Lukas’s visits to Matthias’s house had been nothing other than to hang out in the garden while Matthias chatted away about vegetables, or to take Penny for a walk around the block and over the sports field nearby to chase a tennis ball. But as they walked, Matthias’s hand would graze his own for a moment, or when they ate dinner under the heat lamps on the patio in the garden his gaze would linger sometimes for a little too long as he sat opposite Lukas at the table. 

Lukas found that his face was growing warm from thinking about it, and his mind began to wander back to how it felt when Matthias had his hands on him, across his chest, up his thigh-

He cleared his throat.

“You mean… like a date?” Lukas asked, coming away from the calendar for a moment to retrieve the marker from where it had rolled to the floor and listened as Matthias exhaled into the phone, his breathing muffled against the speaker.

“Sure, it’s a date if you say it is.” he said, and Lukas balanced his phone between his ear and his shoulder as he took the lid off the marker and poised it over the date of the 16th of May. 

What did he have to lose? And besides, it would be nice to do something that weekend that wasn’t birthday related to take his mind off the big 3 0.

The marker squeaked across the glossy page of the calendar as Lukas wrote the initial ‘M’ in the small box under the date. 

“It’s a date. But I’m not closing the shop for the whole day. I can’t afford to lose the business. I’ll trade until noon, then either see if Tino or my brother can man the shop until closing, but if they can’t then I guess I’ll just have to close for just the afternoon. But  _ just this once _ .” Lukas mused while wandering around the store as he spoke and ran his finger along the spines of the books on the shelf. He hadn’t taken a Saturday off in years, and the thought of it truthfully made him nervous. He’d also not been on a date in years.

“Great! I’ll get two tickets then! It’s a couple towns over, at the village hall and gardens, so I’ll come pick you up a couple minutes past 12?”

Matthias was positively beaming down the phone, and Lukas couldn’t help but smile a little himself at the sound of happiness in his voice. 

“Sure. It sounds nice. Thanks, Matthias.” he said, stopping to lean against the bookshelf and cast his gaze out of the window.

“Well, I’ll chat to you before then anyway, but I’m lookin’ forward to it! I’ll let ya get back to your busy day. Speak soon!”

Lukas hesitated for a moment, feeling his cheeks flush even more as he whet his lips.

“Me too. Til then. Bye.”

Before Matthias could say anything else, Lukas hung up and put his phone back into his pocket, leaning more of his weight against the bookshelf as he let out a long breath. His heart was hammering in his chest, but he couldn’t stop himself from smiling. 

The bell above the door chimed as a customer entered the shop, smiling back at him in greeting obviously thinking he was smiling at her. Shaking his head fondly, Lukas kept the smile on his face as he straightened up and approached her.

“Morning, welcome to Thomassen’s. Can I help with anything?”

\---------------------

“No, you can’t.” Arthur said as he raised his voice and stood up from his desk and turned to Tino as he walked through the door. He stopped short, clipboard in hand, and hovered in the doorway.

“Oh, sorry, I uh, I hope I’m not interrupting anything?” he apologised, only catching the end of the conversation, and his gaze flickered between Francis and Arthur. He was relieved when Arthur let out a sigh and shook his head.

“Nothing important, only my attempt to tell Francis here that he can’t eat a fudge brownie for breakfast.” 

Though his tone was pointed, Mr Kirkland had an amused smile on his face, whereas Francis had a look of outrage as he clutched a paper plate with said brownie on it in his hands.

“Says who?”

“Says me.” 

Still standing in the doorway, Tino winced a little as the door slammed closed against his back and forced him fully into the room.

“Oh, well I just wanted to quickly ask-” he began, laughing a little awkwardly, but was cut off by Arthur as he walked around his desk and held out his credit card in one hand, his other hand pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Tino, be a dear and go and fetch us some breakfast? We have a lot to get through this morning and I don’t want Mr Bonnefoy running on chocolate and sugar then slacking off at 11:30 to go and get brunch.” 

Tino nodded as he reached out to take the credit card, then stood taller and squared his shoulders in an effort to boost his confidence.

“Sure, no problem, but I did have a few questions about… uh, about possibly becoming a writer? I’ve got a few drafts here that I wondered if you’d look over-”

“Yes, quite alright, you can give them to us later and we’ll consider them, but for now it’ll just be the usual please. You know what we like by now I take it?” Arthur tittered, turning his back to Tino and walking back over to his desk. 

Clutching the clipboard tightly and gritting his teeth to channel his annoyance at being ignored and spoken over, Tino just about maintained a polite smile as he slipped the company credit card into his blazer pocket, deciding that this was a battle not worth fighting right now.

“Of course, Mr Kirkland. Coming right up.” 

Though he cast Tino and apologetic glance from where he was perched on the end of Arthur's desk, Francis didn't say anything or acknowledge Tino's question either, and instead just held out the brownie toward him, waving it up and down slightly as he hinted for Tino to take it.

After a moment's hesitation, Tino stepped forward to accept the weak peace offering and snatched the plate from Francis's hand, tossing the paper plate into the trash bin on his way out of the office and shoved the entire brownie in his mouth. 

Tossing his clipboard down onto his desk with a loud clatter that startled Christina, Tino stalked to Berwalds workshop, doing his best to swallow the brownie before rapping on the door with the back of his hand.

“S’open.” Berwald called from inside, and Tino pushed the door open. 

Glancing up from his woodwork once he noticed that his company was Tino, Berwald lifted his visor and put down the chisel to straighten up and face him.

“So? How’d it go?” he asked, his brows furrowing when Tino stepped further into the room and slammed the door closed.

“ _ Don’even know whyahbo’ered _ .” Tino muttered through his mouthful of the remains of the brownie as he flopped down into the chair at Berwalds desk. 

Berwalds furrowed brows now raised instead to stare at Tino as he picked at the chocolate between his front teeth with his fingernail.

“And they say I mumble.” Berwald said, a small laugh shaking at his shoulders.

“Sorry,” Tino apologised, wiping his hand on his trousers, “that was rude. But I  _ said _ that I don’t even know why I bothered.” 

Then, looking up from the floor, Tino met Berwalds gaze and felt his heart sink at the sight of the look of pity on his face. 

For the past few nights, Tino had stayed at Berwalds house and gone through all of the old articles and assignments that he’d written at college trying to make a small presentation of his best ones to present to Francis in an attempt to express that he didn’t want to be just an assistant forever. Yet here he was, on the breakfast run once again. 

“Don’t look like that. I didn’t try very hard, I just know there’s no use-”

“Tino I didn’t drive myself mad staying up ‘til all hours with you while you tore yourself apart just for ya to give up that easily.”

The second chair that Berwald dragged across the floor to position in front of Tino scraped across the floor, the noise going through Tino and causing him to wince a little. Then, Berwald sat down too and leant forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he clasped his hands loosely.

“What about other magazines?”

The suggestion took Tino a little by surprise, his eyes widening as he regarded Berwald for a moment.

“You mean, like here? Another magazine here?”

“Sure, why not?” Berwald shrugged, then leant back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest.

“Ya may not have got the job if it weren’t for… y’know-“

“Go on, say it. If it weren’t for me being hired to be a fat and weird turn off for my boss, right?”

“No- Tino stop.”

Tino rolled his eyes, though there was a smirk on his face.

“At least you don’t deny it. But sorry, continue.”

Berwald drew in a breath and shook his head slowly at Tino before speaking again.

“What I mean is that you’ve already got your foot in the door now. You’re assistant to the editor in chief of this whole publication. Some of these other magazines would probably hire you just with the hope that you can tell ‘em something about Francis that’ll help boost their magazine.”

Although he was right, Berwalds point only made Tino feel even worse. In this industry it was never just a case of what you knew, but  _ who  _ you knew. 

“But I don’t want that, Ber. I want to get hired because I’m good at something. I only have myself to blame though I suppose. I haven’t actually written anything new since college. Heck, Lukas has probably written more than me recently in just texts to his boyfriend alone.”

“...So it’s official now?” 

Pleased with a change of subject Tino grinned and stood up, smoothing the wrinkles in his waistcoat.

“Sorta. It’s complicated I think. But anyway, I’m going to Carluccio’s, do you want anything?”

Still with his arms crossed over his chest, Berwald shot Tino a look. Tino rolled his eyes.

“What? Arthur doesn’t ever ask how much anything costs, and Eduard doesn’t know who ate what when he does the expenses. You sure I can’t tempt you into a posh banana toffee muffin?”

Wiggling his eyebrows, Tino’s hand hovered over the doorhandle as he waited for Berwald to give in and say yes to one of his favourite sweet treats, but much to Tino’s dismay he pursed his lips and shook his head.

“Not even if  _ I _ buy it for you?” Tino teased, coming away from the door and over to Berwald. Only when Tino straddled his lap did his scowl crack and a coy smile spread across his lips between the soft and tender kisses that Tino pressed against them.

“Can think of somethin’ else just as sweet that I’d rather have.” Berwald mumbled against Tino’s cheek as he slipped his hand beneath his bottom and pinched it.

“Ber! Cut it out. I’m a professional assistant to the editor in chief who will not swoon that easily.” 

Neatening the knot in his tie, Tino got up from Berwalds lap and threw the door open before he could have the chance to say anything in response to that remark without the risk of being overheard by someone passing by in the corridor. 

“You can woo me later though, at home.” Finishing with a wink, Tino flounced out of the workshop feeling pretty amused with himself, but the amusement quickly disappeared when he collided with Ivan as he stepped around the corner.

“Oh, Tino. Sorry about that.” 

For a moment, Ivan and Tino awkwardly got in each other's way, both stepping in the same direction as they tried to pass each other in the corridor until eventually Tino exhaled sharply and reached out to grasp Ivans arms and move him to one side. 

“It’s okay. My fault. I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

Only briefly making eye contact with Ivan, Tino pushed past him and began to make his way back to his desk but then froze when Ivan spoke up again.

“I was looking for Mr Ox. Is he in his workshop?”

Although it was an innocent enough question, Tino spun around on the spot to glare at Ivan, his gaze burning. 

“Why do you need to know?” he snapped, feeling his heart jump into his throat as his thoughts began to spiral.

Ivan looked puzzled, cocking his head to the side a little,

“I just needed to ask him if the set design is ready for the article I’m writing to pair with a photoshoot is ready. I wanted to take a look at it.”

He spoke slowly, his eyes growing narrower as he continued to look at Tino, “Why, is there something wrong? You seem a little highly strung.”

Already irritated by Arthur and Francis, Tino wasn’t able to hold his tongue. Quickly, he closed the gap between Ivan and himself until he was standing just inches away from him and pointing up into his face.

“You know  _ damn well _ something is wrong.” he warned, his voice low and jaw clenched, “Why don’t you just admit that it was you who wrote the article?”

Holding his hands up in innocence, Ivan looked even more confused as he took a step back.

“I know which article you’re talking about, but I didn’t write it, Tino.”

Tino scoffed, his lips curling into a sneer,

“Oh sure, so I’m supposed to believe that someone else has it in for me just as much as you do?”

“Who said I had it in for you?” 

Irritation flashed across Ivan’s face now as he stood taller, no longer cowering before Tino; who dropped his accusatory pointed finger and let his hand dangle limply by his side.

“But… I thought that we- that you-” he stammered, “Don’t you hate me?”

The last thing Tino expected was for Ivan to laugh, and so stood before him in the narrow corridor dumbfounded while Ivan brought his hand up to cover his mouth as he chuckled away to himself. 

“I was sure that  _ you _ were the one who hated  _ me _ . Marcus did leave you in the end to try and patch things up with me afterall.” he said finally between laughs.

Then once Ivan had collected himself, a silence fell between them, and Tino found that his palms were suddenly clammy and his ears burning bright red in embarrassment. 

The fact that Ivan wasn’t the person that wrote the article should have made Tino feel better, or at least a little relieved, but instead it left him with a pit in his stomach at the thought that someone else could be so spiteful, and without reason. 

Dropping his gaze, Tino stared at his feet, willing the ground to swallow him whole. It took him a moment to register that Ivan was talking to him, and only snapped his head up when he waved a hand in front of his face.

“Shall we get lunch?” Ivan offered, his eyes soft and tone unusually kind, “I think we have some catching up we need to do, don’t you?” 

Looking between Ivan and the door to Berwalds workshop, Tino’s thoughts began to bounce around in his brain as his mind travelled back to the conversation he’d had with Emil, the unresolved history between he and Ivan, and the fact that there was still a public article written about him. Suddenly no longer in the mood for a rich breakfast paid for on someone else's credit card, Tino nodded weakly, his curiosity getting the better of him.

“My lunch break is at 1pm. I guess I could meet you in the lobby?” he suggested, his voice flat as he glanced up at Ivan through his lashes. If only Lukas knew that Tino had just made plans to have lunch with Ivan. Tino laughed a little cynically under his breath at the thought as Ivan smiled and nodded in agreement, but at this point Tino felt he didn’t have much more to lose. 

\-------

After parting ways a little awkwardly with Ivan after vaguely making plans for lunch, Tino’s morning passed by with task after task set by his superiors. After the breakfast run, the conference room needed setting up, glasses needed polishing and ice water had to be poured into each. Then, Tino took notes for the same conference he’d set up, typed them up and handed the brief to the stylists, who he then fetched coffee for before cleaning up the conference room and had just finished stacking the heavy plush chairs neatly into the corner by the time 1pm rolled around. 

Despite being busy, it was as though he’d been on autopilot, and the morning had passed by in the blink of an eye. By the time Tino had his jacket on and was in the elevator riding down to the lobby did he realise how ravenous he was. 

Sure enough, when the elevator doors opened, Ivan was standing waiting by the revolving doors beneath the chandelier with his hands stuffed into his pockets. Tino had half expected either himself or Ivan to flake out on their meeting, and so when he stopped in front of Ivan, both of them stood in an awkward silence while waiting for the other to speak.

“So…” Tino was the one to break the silence, rocking back and forth slightly on his heels and swung his arms to and fro, “got any ideas?”

Much to his delight, Ivan suggested a small cafe only round the corner, a short walk, and with his stomach rumbling Tino nodded and agreed. 

It must have rained that morning as the pavement was wet as Tino walked alongside Ivan, weaving around puddles that had formed in the street. 

“So…” he said again, this time looking up at Ivan, “Are you still with Marcus?”

Tino knew that answer to this full well, but he couldn’t contain his curiosity about what had actually happened between his ex and Ivan. 

Ivan sighed and hesitated, looking unsure as to whether he wanted to discuss the topic at first, before he looked down and buried the bottom part of his face within the scarf around his neck. 

“No. It all ended again quite quickly. Not long after he left you, honestly.” Ivan said, his voice laced lightly with sadness and Tino couldn’t help but feel a little bad.

“He wasn’t over you, you know. And I decided that I didn’t want to spend time on someone that wasn’t worth the effort.”

“Wait, so  _ you _ broke it off with  _ him _ ?” Tino spluttered as he pushed the door open to the cafe and ducked inside, holding the door open for Ivan as he followed behind. 

“He didn’t make it sound that way in his tinder bio.” 

At this, a smirk spread across Ivan’s lips as he took a seat in one of the empty booths and eyed Tino as he slid in opposite.

“You’re on tinder?” he teased, causing Tino’s jaw to slacken as he looked at Ivan, a little offended by his tone. 

“No, I was just looking for someone that I thought might be on there that’s all.” Tino said with a pout and grabbed the menu from the end of the table, burying his face in its contents in an effort to change the subject away from his love life. Though it was strangely refreshing to think that this could be the start of working toward patching up a broken friendship, Tino wasn’t quite ready to trust Ivan quite yet. 

Before showing up at Icon, it had been a couple of years since Tino had last seen Ivan. He hadn’t changed much, still as tall and as gently spoken as ever. He watched him as he looked over his own menu, observed the dark circles under his eyes, the ragged edges of his fingernails, the way that he chewed absentmindedly on his bottom lip leaving it chapped.

“I’m sorry.” 

The words slipped out before Tino could think much more about what he was saying as he set the menu down and clasped his hands on the table in front of him. Ivan glanced up, eyes slightly wide as Tino cast him an apologetic smile.

“I really am sorry. I was an asshole.”

Ivan was quiet for a moment, his eyes searching Tino’s until he relaxed into the booth and slumped against the seat back.

“Thank you, Tino. You weren’t an asshole though. Not really. We were young and stupid, and I wasn’t always fair to you either. It always felt like a competition between us, even before Marcus. I’m sorry too.”

Feeling as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, Tino’s smile grew wider as he leant forward and rested his chin in his palm on the table.

“You really don’t deserve all the shit you’ve taken at Icon either.” Ivan continued, then shrugged when Tino raised an eyebrow.

“Christina told me. About everything that happened with the shoot, you storming out on Francis, the lot. And now you’ve got this article that Arthur’s written to deal with, I really admire-”

“Wait, what? Arthur? Mr Kirkland wrote that article?”

Ivan didn’t even have to answer the questions that Tino fired at him, as the fact that his face suddenly drained of all colour was enough for Tino to know that there was truth in what he’d just said. 

“Tino, wait, at least let me explain to you-”

“For once, Ivan, you’ve got nothing to explain. My fight isn’t with you anymore.”

Standing up from the table so quickly, Tino caught the underside with his knee and sent the cutlery pot toppling over with a loud clatter as he snatched his bag from the floor and left the cafe. The air outside was cool against his cheeks that were flushed red and burning with anger, and as he pushed through the revolving doors to the Bonnefoy Publications this time, he knew for sure that once he left again he would never be coming back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its good to be back.
> 
> Thank you for reading, apologies for rusty writing and the pacing is a bit whack lol but as you all know I'm out of practice :') I hope you enjoyed anyway, and I'll see you all next chapter!
> 
> -lumassen x


	25. Chapter 25 - Too Little, Too Late

**Chapter 25 - Too Little, Too Late**

Emil stopped and slumped against the brick wall at the side of the convenience store, feeling himself deflate as he let out a sigh.

“Come on, it’s not _that_ bad. Don’t look so glum.” Caoimhe teased, though when Emil kept his gaze planted on his shoes her smirk faltered a little.

“Hey, I’m gonna get us a treat. We’ve earned it no matter what grade you got. Wait here, and I’ll be back.” 

Caoimhe bent down to look up into Emil’s face, meeting his gaze briefly as he looked up through his lashes at her and nodded faintly. Then when she turned on her heel and disappeared into the convenience store he pushed off from the wall and dropped his satchel to the floor and shrugged out of his blazer.

It was a warm afternoon, and late spring rays were beating down on his back. Balling his blazer up messily, not in the mood to care about the creases he would no doubt put into it, Emil crouched down and began to stuff it into his bag, crumpling his exam result papers far beneath it in the hopes that they’d never see the light of day. 

Of course though, he knew that wasn’t true, and Lukas was no doubt pacing the apartment while he waited for him to come home with them. He sighed again and closed his satchel, struggling to fasten it closed while the bulk of his blazer pushed it out of proportion.

“Here, choose a flavour.” 

Squinting as he looked up at Caoimhe, the afternoon sun bright above her, Emil brought one hand up to shield his eyes while the other reached out and took the orange flavoured icepop leaving Caoimhe with the strawberry one. 

Slinging his satchel over his shoulder Emil stood up and ripped open the top of his icepop between his teeth, Caoimhe doing the same as they set off walking again. They walked in silence for a little while, Emils tongue quickly growing numb from the cold of the icepop. 

“So I was speaking to Isak and he said he’s been invited to an end of term party by a couple of his uni friends. I was wondering if you wanted to come with? We’ve got our own celebrating to do so I thought it would be cool.” Caoimhe said eventually, breaking the silence, and when she grinned at Emil he could see that the pink of her lips had been stained darker by the icepop.

“ _You_ might have celebrating to do, but I haven’t.” Emil muttered a little bitterly, and Caoimhe stopped walking.

“Emil, you’ve just finished your final exams, you’re not going to college, and you graduate next month. You’re _free_ , of _course_ you have celebrating to do!” she enthused, talking animatedly with her hands, looking at Emil with an incredulous look on her face. 

Had this been a couple of months ago, Emil would have been happy to be leaving school with the prospect of becoming an adult and leading his own life, but watching the rest of his classmates earlier on that morning open their exam results with bated breath as they read over them and hoped they’d done enough to get into the college of their choice made Emil realise that he wasn’t as confident in his choices as he once was. 

“But I got a B in Mathematics, Caoimhe, the one exam I thought I’d do well in, and C’s and D’s in everything else. Lukas is going to be so disappointed...” Emil scraped his hand through his hair, “ _I’m_ disappointed. I thought I was smarter than this.” he admitted through a long exhale, and watched as Caoimhe’s brows knitted a little, her expression softening. 

“You are smart, Em. You’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. And at least your brother cares enough to be disappointed.” she said, kicking a loose stone on the pavement into the road as the traffic rumbled by. 

At her comment, Emil felt even worse. During his time getting to know Caoimhe a little more, he realised that she didn’t speak about her family too much, and Emil didn’t even know the name of her brother. Though Lukas got on his last nerve sometimes, they were close at least, and Emil deep down was forever grateful for him for all he’d done to raise him. It’s a shame that it had taken until now when he was about to graduate and become an adult for him to finally realise. 

For the first time, there was a look of vulnerability on Caoimhe’s expression as she nibbled at the end of her icepop, her loose red curls whipping around her shoulders in the breeze. 

“Your brother should be _proud_ , not disappointed. Caoimhe, you got all A’s and B’s.” Emil blinked at her, raising his voice to talk over the noise of a truck that passed by.

Her expression changed, and the usual smirk that graced her features appeared once more.

“He’ll just put my grades down to the fact that I’m privately educated and not even consider that I might actually be smart. Admit it, even you’re shocked that I did better than you aren’t ya?” 

As much as Emil was disappointed in himself, it’s true that he was surprised by how well Caoimhe had done. But he wasn’t bitter about it, or jealous, and instead he was pleased for her. 

“It’s not like I’m gonna do anything with them though. He’s the family success story, even if his fortune is a result of tax evasion. He doesn’t care how the money got into the bank, as long as it's there.” she said, then laughed a little cynically, “Ya know, he even went as far as to spin a story humiliating this poor guy who works for his publishing company just to take attention away from it.”

With a thump, Emil’s satchel hit the ground as he dropped his hands by his sides in sudden realisation and his jaw fell slack.

“Wait a minute, you’re a _Kirkland_?” 

His brows shot up, and he watched as Caoimhe narrowed her eyes at him,

“How’d you know that? You know about my brother? I didn’t think you were the type to-”

“Are you saying that your brother, Arthur Kirkland, the co-editor at Bonnefoy Publications wrote the article about himself having an affair to take attention away from his _tax fraud_?”

As the words left his mouth, Emil had to choke back laughter at how ridiculous the sentence sounded on it’s own, but when Caoimhe nodded slowly, her obvious confusion growing at why Emil was so knowledgeable on this subject, he hurried to pick his bag up from the ground and slipped the strap over his head.

“Caoimhe, I have to get home, I’m so sorry, I’ll explain later.” he spluttered, feeling his heart beginning to hammer in his chest. 

“Wait, what’s going on? Emil I’m not like him, I promise-”

“I know, trust me, I know, but I really need to get home. I’ll explain at work.”

After giving Caoimhe what he hoped was a reassuring smile, Emil turned and hurried around the corner for the bus stop. 

\---------------

Emil was out of breath by the time he reached home after hurrying from the bus stop, and his thigh was growing numb as a result of his satchel bumping against it as he ran. 

He wasn’t sure if the information he now had would ease Tino’s mind or make everything worse, but at least he’d no longer be in the dark about the whole situation and could make an informed decision about what to do. He’d hated seeing Tino so down, even though he’d pretend that everything was fine. For once, Emil could be the one to help.

Racing up the back stairs two at a time, Emil reached the landing and fumbled with his keys in the lock on the front door. Though now that he was outside the apartment, he frowned as he heard raised voices coming from inside, and sure enough when he got the door open and stepped inside the sound of Tino’s voice carried through from the kitchen. 

“Lukas, you don’t understand! This hasn’t got anything to do with you! Why are _you_ getting upset? Don’t you care how this makes me feel?” he bellowed, and Emil suddenly felt his blood run a little cold at the tone in Tino’s voice as he kicked his shoes off and hurried further into the apartment.

“So why didn’t you tell me? I would have helped you! You always make stupid decisions on your own without talking to anyone and now you don’t have a job! _Again_! You don’t even have evidence, you’re just jumpin’ to conclusions like a petulant child!” Lukas’s voice was just as loud and rasped from his throat.

“I wanted to Lukas, but you were too busy with your nose buried in your phone obsessing over your ‘boyfriend’!” Tino spat viciously, waving his hands in air quotations, and Emil appeared in the doorway of the kitchen just in time to catch the flash of anger that spread across his brother's face.

“Tino you haven’t _been here._ How dare you say I’ve been too busy to listen when I haven’t _seen_ you for three days.” Lukas’s voice was low and warning now, no longer raised, though Emil could see that his chest was still heaving. 

“Ever since you got a key to Berwalds house you’ve cast me aside so that you can leech off somebody else. Well, I’m done with you.” Lukas paused and drew in a shaky breath, “I think you should leave.”

His tone unwavering, Lukas folded his arms across his chest and hunched in on himself, and Tino froze, suddenly rigid as his face flushed red and his gaze turned cold.

“You really want me to leave?” Tino said, a slight tremor in his voice, then when Lukas didn’t say anything and just stood staring at him he stood up straighter and pulled his shoulders back. “Fine. I’ll go.”

Emil’s heart was in his mouth as he watched the scene in front of him,

“Lukas, what’s going on?” he spoke up from the doorway, and when Lukas whipped around to look at him he saw that his eyes were glassy and lips thinly pursed.

“Your brother is showing his true colours, that’s what.” Tino scoffed when Lukas didn’t say anything. He walked around the kitchen table and motioned for Emil to let him pass. Emil obliged and stepped out of the doorway, hesitating as he looked between his brother and the back of Tino’s head as he stormed into Lukas’s bedroom, 

“Tino, wait, I need to tell you something,”

Following Tino through the house, Emil slipped into the bedroom and gently closed the door behind him as Tino dragged down a suitcase from the top of the wardrobe and tossed it onto the bed. His eyes widened a little in surprise,

“You- You’re not actually leaving are you?” Emil questioned, his gaze following Tino’s hand as he unzipped the suitcase.

Tino shot him a look, needing no words to show that he was serious, before returning his attention back to emptying the contents of his underwear drawer into the case.

“Tino, just ignore Lukas, he doesn’t mean it. Please don’t go.” Emil pleaded, suddenly feeling a lump form in his throat. He’d seen many arguments between Tino and Lukas through the years, but they never ended like this.

Stepping across the room, Emil stopped by Tino and stood fidgeting a little beside him. Tino closed his eyes for a split second and exhaled sharply before turning to Emil. His expression softened, and he brought his hands up to rest on his hips,

“How did your exam results go?” he asked, not acknowledging Emil’s plea, and Emil blinked at him, a little taken aback by the change of subject suddenly on him. 

When it came to grades, Emil felt more confident talking about them with Tino; he always had done. For the longest time, he’d always thought that it was down to the fact that Tino wasn’t his brother, he wasn’t biological family. But recently he’d realised that it was because unlike Lukas, Emil had had the opportunity to study free from distractions or responsibilities, something that Lukas hadn’t had because of what he’d done for him, and he’d taken it for granted. He’d fucked it up.

Emil hung his head, unable to meet Tino’s kind gaze as he looked up at him.

“I got one B, five C’s and one D. I messed up, Tino, I wanted to do better, I really did.”

Despite the reassuring touch of Tino’s hand against the side of his arm, Emil didn’t miss the way the corners of his mouth pulled into a slight frown. 

“But that’s not what I wanted to tell you,” Emil continued, though he was conscious of the fact that Tino was already irritated, and chose his words carefully,

“It wasn’t Ivan who wrote that article about you, it was-“

“Arthur, I know.” Tino cut him off, his expression once again turning steely.

Emil watched as Tino resumed packing, grabbing armfuls of sweaters and t-shirts from his chest of drawers and dumping the piles into the suitcase until they were empty. 

“I can attend a court case next month if I want to take it further, but Ludwig has given me two months wages in advance in exchange for my notice.” 

Tino didn’t look at Emil as he spoke, but Emil could hear the tremble of his voice, though if it was from anger, sadness or frustration he wasn’t sure.

“So you’re gonna take it to court, right?” Emil followed Tino with his eyes as he began to pace back and forth between the bed and the wardrobe, taking all of his hanging clothes off their hangers and folding them quickly by holding the garment beneath his chin.

He laughed and shook his head,

“You and your brother really are so different, it still surprises me.” He said, and Emil raised an eyebrow. Tino sighed heavily,

“Lukas thinks that I should just let it lie and take the wage advance as compensation while asking Ludwig to keep my job.”

At this point, Emil could tell that Tino was on the verge of tears, his face turning red as he tried to hold them back. 

“He just doesn’t understand how I feel, Emil. Has he ever looked at himself in the mirror and loathed what he saw? Has he ever been a public laughing stock not just once, but twice? Has he ever had a job that makes him feel like he has to fight to be taken seriously?”

By now, fat tears were rolling down Tino’s cheeks, and Emil stood frozen just watching as they fell, his heart climbing up into his mouth,

“I can’t take it anymore, and I don’t know why I put up with it for this long." He paused to hum sarcastically in thought and tapped a finger to his chin, "Oh wait, yes I do, because I was so eager to please your brother, to make it look like I had things under control when really I just really wanted to take a grocery store job. I thought I wanted success, but now I realise that all I want is a quiet life and a family. And luckily, I have one that wants me.”

Tino was snivelling heavily now as he closed the suitcase and leant his weight on it to squash it closed.

“What are you talking about? We want you!” Emil pointed back towards the door as though to signal to Lukas, and Tino scoffed between sobs, 

“Lukas wants my money to pay rent.” He said bitterly, and Emil felt a pang of hurt through his chest and no mention of himself. He wanted to grab Tino by the shoulders and shake some sense in to him, tell him how much he loved him, that he was family, but instead he stood rooted to the spot as Tino heaved the suitcase off the bed and pushed past him out of the room. 

Lukas was nowhere to be seen as Tino set his suitcase down in the hall and began to gather his things from the living room.

With anger now rising within him, Emil marched through the apartment and found Lukas leaning against the kitchen counter staring off into space.

“You’re really just gonna let your best friend leave after everything he’s going through right now?” he cried, startling his brother, “Lukas what the hell is wrong with you?”

For a moment, Lukas looked like he was going to cry himself, his eyes wide as he looked at Emil, but when he stood up and pushed away from the counter they glazed over and his usual neutral expression returned.

“He’s not completely innocent in all this, y’know. When’s the last time he ate dinner with us? Or asked you about school?” Lukas demanded, narrowing his eyes at Emil as he waved his hands around in exasperation,

“Literally just now, in the bedroom, while he was hurting from something that _you_ said!” Emil stabbed his finger harshly against Lukas’s chest, “He still asked about me, not thinking about himself as usual. He’s your friend, Lukas, the only one you’ve got.”

Shaking his head incredulously, Emil suddenly saw a whole new side to his brother that he’d never seen before, and only heard about from others. A cold, unfeeling side.

“Friendships change, Emil, you should know that better than anyone after recent events.” Lukas retaliated defensively, causing Emil to ball his fists at his side. He opened and closed his mouth, though no words left his throat. He and Lukas stood staring at each other, neither of them breaking eye contact until the sound of the front door slamming caused Emil to turn and run into the hall to find that Tino was gone.

“Lukas what the fuck!?”

Emil whirled around and glared at Lukas when he felt his presence behind him in the hall as he peered round the doorframe, looking uncomfortable under his scrutiny.

Without bothering with his shoes, Emil flung the door open and flew down the back stairs, his feet pounding against the wooden staircase so hard that he nearly slipped in just his socks. Then once at the bottom he ran out into the street, peering around the corner and spinning on the spot as he tried to spot Tino, but he was nowhere to be seen.

Balling his fists within his hair, Emil stood in the street and felt his chest rising and falling quickly, earning himself a funny look from an elderly man who walked by, his grades suddenly the thing he cared about the least.

\----------------------------

By the time Tino’s finger found the doorbell beside Berwald’s front door, his face was aching from holding in his sobs as he’d walked all the way to his house, and his hand was sore from dragging the heavy suitcase. Although the key to Berwald’s house was in his pocket, Tino didn’t dare let himself in, unsure how Berwald would react to the fact that he wouldn’t just be visiting for a few days this time.

His leg jittered beneath him impatiently, then he froze altogether when the door opened and Berwald’s gaze swept over him.

“Hi Ber,” Tino managed to choke out over a sob that ripped from his throat.

Berwald wasted no time in stepping forward to gather Tino into his embrace, pressing his face to his chest and kissing the top of his head over and over again as he cried.

“Tino I’ve been worried sick, why didn’t ya answer your phone? What happened?” Berwald mumbled against his hair, then Tino felt him shake his head,

“It doesn’t matter. C’mon, come inside.”

Taking a step back, Berwald picked up Tino’s suitcase without even a second glance or a question and carried it into the house. Then, as he set it down gently at the foot of the staircase, Peter appeared at the top. He took one look at Tino before hurrying down the stairs as quickly as he could.

Tino crouched down to greet him and leaned into his touch as his little hands reached out to hold his cheek.

“When I cry, Daddy makes me a hot chocolate.” He mumbled, then turned over his shoulder to look at Berwald,

“I think Tino needs a hot chocolate.”

At his innocence, Tino couldn’t help but smile as he wiped away the last of his tears on his sleeve and gave Peter a watery smile as he took hold of his hand and pulled him up from the floor.

“Lets make him one then,” Berwald said once Tino had stood back up and ruffled his son’s hair as he skipped past him into the kitchen.

*

One mug of hot chocolate and mini marshmallows later, Peter had been sent into the living room to watch cartoons leaving Berwald and Tino sitting at the kitchen counter. While the past half an hour had been sweet while Peter chatted away to Tino as though today was just another of his visits, Tino found that he hand was trembling against the handle of his mug, and the warm hot chocolate now swirling around in his knotted stomach was making him feel nauseous. Now that Peter was out of sight, Tino dropped his head into his hands and let out a long, shaky sigh.

“Berwald, I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry.” He said, his voice muffled by his hands.

There was a small silence as Berwald shifted in his seat, and Tino held his breath as he cleared his throat,

“There’s nothin’ to say. Nothin’ to apologise for.” Berwald mumbled as he slipped out of his seat.

“But there is!” Tino cried, snatching his hands away from his face and slamming them on the counter,

“I’ve got no home, no dignity, no job, and soon I’ll have no money if I don’t find another one soon. I’m putting all of this stress on you, I’ve ruined my friendship with Lukas and I-”

Tino stopped talking when Berwald tossed the house key he’d given Tino onto the counter having taken it from his coat pocket.

“This is your home. You’ve got more dignity than you can ever imagine, an’ you’ll get another job in no time.” He said simply, and Tino just stared at him as he stood in the middle of the kitchen and shrugged as though it was all so simple.

“But Ber, I can’t just _stay here_ , I- don’t you want any money? I’ve barely got enough for a months rent- what’re you laughing at?”

Tinos temper turned sour as Berwald’s shoulders began to shake and he shook his head,

“It’s always a drama with you, isn’t it?” he said through a laugh, and Tino hurried down from the high counter stool and folded his arms defensively across his chest.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he demanded, his mind jumping to every conclusion possible, but Berwald just smiled.

“I’m just glad you’re outta there. Hated seeing you hurt and pushed around. You deserve so much better, Tino, and I’ll help ya find it. Promise.”

At Berwalds words, it felt like flood gates had opened within Tino’s chest, and a tidal wave of relief rushed over him as he let his arms drop by his side and fresh tears threatened to fall.

“So you’re glad that I’m out of a job?” he teased, finally allowing a smile to break across his lips as Berwald crossed the kitchen and took hold of his hands, giving them a gentle squeeze.

“I’m glad you’re out of a place that made you unhappy, Tino.” Berwald said, his tone firm and expression absolute.

“We'll talk more in the mornin' about everythin' but you can stay here as long as you need-“ he offered, then stopped to correct himself, “no, you can _live_ here as long as you need. I love you, Tino. Drama and all.”

Berwald’s touch to Tino’s cheek was feather light as he brushed away his tears, and Tino brought his own hand up to rest over Berwald’s. There was still a hole in his heart, left there by Lukas’s words and Arthur’s actions, but it was still beating nonetheless.

“I love you too, Berwald. If there was one good thing to come out of Icon, then it was you. That makes it all worth it.”

Slipping his arms around Berwald’s waist, Tino leaned his head against Berwalds chest and closed his eyes, his slow, steady breathing bringing comfort as he matched his own breaths to it. 

They both remained standing in the middle of the kitchen in each other’s embrace until Tino felt a gentle tugging at his hip. When he opened his eyes he smiled at the top of Peter’s head at his side, his arms wrapped around his thighs as far as they could reach,

“Does this mean we’re a family now?” he mumbled, and Berwald looked to Tino as though waiting for him to answer.

The question took him by surprise, though his answer was instant.

“If that’s okay with you, Peter, then I guess it does.”

Peter hugged tighter, and Tino felt him nod against his leg,

“Yep. We’re a family.”


End file.
